Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do own myself and my man whore Oliver Wood.
Nope not actually Oliver is hers too. *Sobs*
Oh and I don't own The Sims or Barbie Girl.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
I GOT REVIEWS!!! HA. PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE THIS. NEVER THOUGHT THAT COULD HAPPEN.
Tikindi Dragon: Ha. Fear me for I am The Defender of Slash! (Great just what I need more ego.) Thanks a lot for reviewing!
*
CrazzieAddict06: I hope you finished it. I read it, but since I have a short term memory I don't remember if I left a review. Thanks for reviewing!
*
Sexybexy: You have me on your Favorites list. *Does embarrassing victory dance* Ha. I am the best all should fear me! Just kidding. By the time this thing gets posted my internet will be back on so you had better get working so I can read more of your stuff.
*
Angelsplash67: Hermione is just ARG . . . *runs into wall and sets self on fire.* that's how I would feel if I had to put up with her. I know I need professional help, but it's not working.
*
Tommi-Dragon/Wolf: I hope you finished! My mom's a great cook! *Sends you cookies galore* Here make your teeth show lot's of holes. Like golf, or the YMCA men's sauna room.
*
Mr. Poopy Doopy: You have me on your favorites. I'm the ruler of Earth all bow before me! Okay I'm not the ruler of Earth. I do though rule my fanfic. *Hears laughter* IT'S A GOOD STORY!!!
*
The Beauty of Slash: You rock. You're cool. Now give me the answers to the Fourth Block typing quiz. Please? Now please. Hop to!
*
Jordans-Hair-ish-my-branm: I'm weird. I might describe some sex, but I might not. I'm still new to the whole describing male/male sex thing. (I guess it would help if I were male.)
~*~
RECAP!!! YES ANOTHER ONE, BUT YOU LOVE IT AND YOU KNOW IT!
~*~
(I'm doing this from memory because my internet is cut off and since I hate solitaire I thought I might as well write this chapter and update when my internet is cut back on.)
Draco and Harry were snogging the living Jesus out of each other on Snape's desk while he ate popcorn that was still coming out of Harry's pants, and Hermione dragged Ginny into her lair to concoct a plan to steal Harry away from Draco. She came up with something almost every other romance story about two enemies has.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*
~*~
..::In Merritt the Moron's Lair (A.K.A Hermione's Hair Haven *Hair for all occasions*)::..
~*~
"So you turned his little room into a hair shop slash laboratory?" I just had to put slash in here somewhere might as well be in the first sentence.
"Yeah, but no one seems to want to buy the hair I shed," Hermione picks up bag full of brown furry stuff that's labeled Armpit Hair.
"So how are we going to do this anyway? Everyone knows Harry's into Draco, and you're "just a friend."
"With this!" Hermione holds a small red vial. (Like the potion on The Sims)
*In low awed voice* "Pretty color! Can I touch it? Let me touch it!"
Ginny starts to grab the vial, but Hermione grabs a rolled up Daily Prophet and hits Ginny on the nose. She instantly stops, starts to wine, and rolls herself into ball on the floor.
"This is a love potion and if you mess it up I'll make you sleep in the garage tonight."
Ginny: "*Makes sad wining noises*"
"I'm going to see if Snape's left his classroom. We're making the Nasty- blood curdling-most-horrible-tasting-potion-ever potion and I'll bet anything he'll make Harry try it," Hermione stops to see Ginny licking herself. She sees nothing new and starts talking again.
"I'm off to line Harry's cauldron with this love potion. Even though I don't think I've ever heard J.K. describe a love potion, enough fan fiction writers have used it that it now exists!"
Hermione walks off babbling about how Harry will be hers and Draco will die a horrible death at her psychotic hands.
~*~
..:: Snapie Baby's Class ::..
~*~
"Are you two still at it?"
Hermione pokes Draco it the eye with a stick to get him to stop kissing Harry on Snape's desk. It takes a few pokes and jab in the stomach, but eventually they stop.
Now everyone's in his or her desk and Draco's feeling Harry up under his desk.
"Now that everyone is seated and enjoying a good fingering let's get started on Nasty-blood curdling-most-horrible-tasting-potion-ever potion. Does everyone have their skunks, old shoes, a pair of my socks, a cup of sewage, Fawkes' poopy newspaper, scrapings of Filch's jacket, and Neville's underwear?"
"Yes sir."
"All right throw it in!" Snape sits down and polishes his toe nails blood red and his finger nails Barbie pink.
"It's a Barbie World and I'm a Barbie girl. I'm made of plastic. . ." He continues to sing Barbie Girl, by Aqua and not me, while his students chunk various nasty smelling things into their potions.
"All right everyone finished?"
"Yes!"
"Well isn't that convenient! All right now who's going to try the potion?" Everyone points to Harry. Except Draco, who now has both hands and a foot down Harry's black leather pants.
"Crap, it seems Draco has complete control over Harry's mouth so we'll just have to get some other sucker. . . I mean turd faced monkey moron to do it."
And at that very moment guess who's on the other side of the door snogging Seamus like there's no tomorrow.
"Ah Ms. Weasley, perhaps you could help us out."
Snape grabs some of Harry's potion, because he knows it's always done wrong, and gives Ginny a Titty Twister to make her open her mouth. He dumps the shit brown potion into her mouth and pulls her head down to his crotch so she'll swallow. (Ginny ALWAYS swallows.)
She slowly raises her head up and pukes all over Hermione then seeing Hermione covered in gross brown crap she instantly falls in love.
"Oh Hermione your overly hairy and pungently smelling body gets me so hot!"
Ginny hops over Snape who fainted when he saw Draco fit his entire body into Harry's pants then disappear up Harry's . . . well his . . . ass, poop chute, doughnut hole, dirty ring, fudge machine, crap hotel, black hole, etc. . .
Ginny finally makes it to Hermione and starts humping her leg.
"Get off! What is it with you Weasleys? First Ron wants me now you!" Ginny doesn't stop and starts Frenching Hermione's leg.
"Heel! Heel!" Ginny starts rubbing herself on Hermione's heel. "No you moron it means to walk on my side!"
Ginny just barks and continues her humping. "Here!" Hermione hands Ginny a rawhide bone that she's already pissed on.
"Hermione?"
"Yes Ron?" Hermione rubs the spit off her leg as Ginny is using the bone for other reasons than chewing.
"Why did you pee on a rawhide bone? And why do you carry it around?"
"I'm kinky, very kinky, and one day Harry will know all my kinks and he will be my bitch and submit to all my evil perversions!"
"I'll submit to all your evil perversions! Pick me! Do me!"
"I don't do losers."
Ron mumbles, "You have if you've ever fingered yourself."
~*~
~*~
~*~
~*~
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^- ^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
The Author: Way to go Ron, you grew some balls!
Ron: Thanks, but actually you just wrote me with balls.
The Author: Yeah but at least you have some now.
Ron: But mine are no where near as big as Hermione's balls. They're huge.
The Author: As much as I'd love to make fun of she-male Hermione those aren't balls. Her fur has just curled into balls.
Ron: All right I've got balls and Hermione doesn't! *sings* I've got balls, I've got balls!
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^- ^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~*~
~*~
~*~
~*~
Will Hermione ever get Harry? *cough NO cough*
Will Ginny get Hermione?
Will Draco be able to breathe in there?
Find out next time!
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^- ^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
REVIEW!!! REVIEW!!! SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REVIEW!!!
~*~
~*~
~*~
~*~
End of Chapter!!!
Nope not actually Oliver is hers too. *Sobs*
Oh and I don't own The Sims or Barbie Girl.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
I GOT REVIEWS!!! HA. PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE THIS. NEVER THOUGHT THAT COULD HAPPEN.
Tikindi Dragon: Ha. Fear me for I am The Defender of Slash! (Great just what I need more ego.) Thanks a lot for reviewing!
*
CrazzieAddict06: I hope you finished it. I read it, but since I have a short term memory I don't remember if I left a review. Thanks for reviewing!
*
Sexybexy: You have me on your Favorites list. *Does embarrassing victory dance* Ha. I am the best all should fear me! Just kidding. By the time this thing gets posted my internet will be back on so you had better get working so I can read more of your stuff.
*
Angelsplash67: Hermione is just ARG . . . *runs into wall and sets self on fire.* that's how I would feel if I had to put up with her. I know I need professional help, but it's not working.
*
Tommi-Dragon/Wolf: I hope you finished! My mom's a great cook! *Sends you cookies galore* Here make your teeth show lot's of holes. Like golf, or the YMCA men's sauna room.
*
Mr. Poopy Doopy: You have me on your favorites. I'm the ruler of Earth all bow before me! Okay I'm not the ruler of Earth. I do though rule my fanfic. *Hears laughter* IT'S A GOOD STORY!!!
*
The Beauty of Slash: You rock. You're cool. Now give me the answers to the Fourth Block typing quiz. Please? Now please. Hop to!
*
Jordans-Hair-ish-my-branm: I'm weird. I might describe some sex, but I might not. I'm still new to the whole describing male/male sex thing. (I guess it would help if I were male.)
~*~
RECAP!!! YES ANOTHER ONE, BUT YOU LOVE IT AND YOU KNOW IT!
~*~
(I'm doing this from memory because my internet is cut off and since I hate solitaire I thought I might as well write this chapter and update when my internet is cut back on.)
Draco and Harry were snogging the living Jesus out of each other on Snape's desk while he ate popcorn that was still coming out of Harry's pants, and Hermione dragged Ginny into her lair to concoct a plan to steal Harry away from Draco. She came up with something almost every other romance story about two enemies has.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*
~*~
..::In Merritt the Moron's Lair (A.K.A Hermione's Hair Haven *Hair for all occasions*)::..
~*~
"So you turned his little room into a hair shop slash laboratory?" I just had to put slash in here somewhere might as well be in the first sentence.
"Yeah, but no one seems to want to buy the hair I shed," Hermione picks up bag full of brown furry stuff that's labeled Armpit Hair.
"So how are we going to do this anyway? Everyone knows Harry's into Draco, and you're "just a friend."
"With this!" Hermione holds a small red vial. (Like the potion on The Sims)
*In low awed voice* "Pretty color! Can I touch it? Let me touch it!"
Ginny starts to grab the vial, but Hermione grabs a rolled up Daily Prophet and hits Ginny on the nose. She instantly stops, starts to wine, and rolls herself into ball on the floor.
"This is a love potion and if you mess it up I'll make you sleep in the garage tonight."
Ginny: "*Makes sad wining noises*"
"I'm going to see if Snape's left his classroom. We're making the Nasty- blood curdling-most-horrible-tasting-potion-ever potion and I'll bet anything he'll make Harry try it," Hermione stops to see Ginny licking herself. She sees nothing new and starts talking again.
"I'm off to line Harry's cauldron with this love potion. Even though I don't think I've ever heard J.K. describe a love potion, enough fan fiction writers have used it that it now exists!"
Hermione walks off babbling about how Harry will be hers and Draco will die a horrible death at her psychotic hands.
~*~
..:: Snapie Baby's Class ::..
~*~
"Are you two still at it?"
Hermione pokes Draco it the eye with a stick to get him to stop kissing Harry on Snape's desk. It takes a few pokes and jab in the stomach, but eventually they stop.
Now everyone's in his or her desk and Draco's feeling Harry up under his desk.
"Now that everyone is seated and enjoying a good fingering let's get started on Nasty-blood curdling-most-horrible-tasting-potion-ever potion. Does everyone have their skunks, old shoes, a pair of my socks, a cup of sewage, Fawkes' poopy newspaper, scrapings of Filch's jacket, and Neville's underwear?"
"Yes sir."
"All right throw it in!" Snape sits down and polishes his toe nails blood red and his finger nails Barbie pink.
"It's a Barbie World and I'm a Barbie girl. I'm made of plastic. . ." He continues to sing Barbie Girl, by Aqua and not me, while his students chunk various nasty smelling things into their potions.
"All right everyone finished?"
"Yes!"
"Well isn't that convenient! All right now who's going to try the potion?" Everyone points to Harry. Except Draco, who now has both hands and a foot down Harry's black leather pants.
"Crap, it seems Draco has complete control over Harry's mouth so we'll just have to get some other sucker. . . I mean turd faced monkey moron to do it."
And at that very moment guess who's on the other side of the door snogging Seamus like there's no tomorrow.
"Ah Ms. Weasley, perhaps you could help us out."
Snape grabs some of Harry's potion, because he knows it's always done wrong, and gives Ginny a Titty Twister to make her open her mouth. He dumps the shit brown potion into her mouth and pulls her head down to his crotch so she'll swallow. (Ginny ALWAYS swallows.)
She slowly raises her head up and pukes all over Hermione then seeing Hermione covered in gross brown crap she instantly falls in love.
"Oh Hermione your overly hairy and pungently smelling body gets me so hot!"
Ginny hops over Snape who fainted when he saw Draco fit his entire body into Harry's pants then disappear up Harry's . . . well his . . . ass, poop chute, doughnut hole, dirty ring, fudge machine, crap hotel, black hole, etc. . .
Ginny finally makes it to Hermione and starts humping her leg.
"Get off! What is it with you Weasleys? First Ron wants me now you!" Ginny doesn't stop and starts Frenching Hermione's leg.
"Heel! Heel!" Ginny starts rubbing herself on Hermione's heel. "No you moron it means to walk on my side!"
Ginny just barks and continues her humping. "Here!" Hermione hands Ginny a rawhide bone that she's already pissed on.
"Hermione?"
"Yes Ron?" Hermione rubs the spit off her leg as Ginny is using the bone for other reasons than chewing.
"Why did you pee on a rawhide bone? And why do you carry it around?"
"I'm kinky, very kinky, and one day Harry will know all my kinks and he will be my bitch and submit to all my evil perversions!"
"I'll submit to all your evil perversions! Pick me! Do me!"
"I don't do losers."
Ron mumbles, "You have if you've ever fingered yourself."
~*~
~*~
~*~
~*~
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^- ^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
The Author: Way to go Ron, you grew some balls!
Ron: Thanks, but actually you just wrote me with balls.
The Author: Yeah but at least you have some now.
Ron: But mine are no where near as big as Hermione's balls. They're huge.
The Author: As much as I'd love to make fun of she-male Hermione those aren't balls. Her fur has just curled into balls.
Ron: All right I've got balls and Hermione doesn't! *sings* I've got balls, I've got balls!
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^- ^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
~*~
~*~
~*~
~*~
Will Hermione ever get Harry? *cough NO cough*
Will Ginny get Hermione?
Will Draco be able to breathe in there?
Find out next time!
^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^- ^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^
REVIEW!!! REVIEW!!! SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REVIEW!!!
~*~
~*~
~*~
~*~
End of Chapter!!!