By Anakin McFly, Elalipa and Zansetsu.
Disclaimer: We does not owns LOTR. We also does not wants Legolasss and Aragorn and Master'sss fangirlssss to kills us………
WARNING: This was written by three hyper people, with the exception of the disclaimer and following conversation which was written by ME. One of the authors is an ice cube. Ice cubes are cool.
Elalipa: Shut up about ice cubes already. And I am NOT an ice cube.
Anakin McFly: I's thinks ice cubes are cool. Ice cubes are cools!
Elalipa: I forbid any mention of ice cubes. Just get on with the story.
Anakin McFly: I's taking English classes from Gollum. Gollum good English teacher.
Elalipa: And try to use proper English, please. Or I'll send you to English classes with Gollum.
Anakin McFly: Yesss, Masster. Master looks after us now. I's will listen to Massster………
Elalipa: Whatever.
CHAPTER ONE: Oh Mine, Poor, Poor Aragorn!
There was water… water… everywhere! Suddenly, a bottle of Head and Shoulders shampoo came into view, floating closer… and closer… and…
"AAAAH! MONSTER!" Aragorn yelled in terror, drawing his worst nightmare to an end. Hyperventilating, he looked up to see Legolas shaking him awake.
"Wha… what… oh, it's you."
"Wake up! You'll be late!"
"For w…" Aragorn suddenly remembered. "Oh. No."
"You are NOT going to back out now. No way. You are going to the 'How to Take Care of Your Hair' seminar for little elves or I'll kill you."
Aragorn looked at the sharp arrow on Legolas' bow and decided to just go on with it. He grabbed the wine bottle next to him and took a swig.
"Ahhhhh…" Aragorn licked his lips and passed the bottle to Legolas, who gave it a strange look.
"Is wine supposed to be BLACK?"
"Uh… I think so."
The elf sniffed at it.
"And is it supposed to smell of sweat, dirt and blood?"
"Doesn't it always?"
Legolas suddenly realized what was going on and threw the wine aside with a shout of "Ugh! You're DISGUSTING!"
The two of them then went on to Rivendell where the seminar was being held. That is, after Legolas dragged Aragorn out of bed.
Most of Rivendell was inaccessible, due to the redevelopment works going on. Skyscrapers were springing up everywhere, and in the distance Aragorn saw the Two Towers.
And then… they were there.
Elves of all ages were staring at the scene going on outside one of Rivendell's most established educational institutes. A grown man struggling from an elf determined never to lose his grip on the other was not something one would see very often. And the man was shrieking louder than any banshee would.
"I DON'T WANT TO GO!""
"Oh no you don't; you made a vow. There's no way you can back out now," said the elf, whom we all recognise as Legolas.
"Er…Have you been reading Cinderella?"
Legolas just looked at Aragon, who sighed.
"I must have been drunk when I said I would go to this stupid class," he muttered.
"Actually, you were. On that…wine. If you can call that gross stuff you had wine in the first place-"
"I don't find it disgusting."
"That's because YOU'RE disgusting. Anyway, I have a recording of you promising to go to the seminar."
Knowing that he could no longer put going to the class off, Aragorn resigned himself to his fate. He slouched all the way into the lecture theatre and took a seat in the back row. Legolas promptly sat himself next to him. The man looked up in surprise. "Don't you know how to take care of your hair already?"
"I do," Legolas replied. He turned to Aragorn. "But YOU don't, and I'm going to make sure you don't sneak out of class halfway."
As a matter of fact, that was precisely what Aragorn had intended to do. Mentally, he cursed Legolas for foiling his plan. He was about to make a jab back at him when the speaker arrived. Looking at her, Aragon was struck with sudden inspiration.
"Look, somebody actually has better hair than you do," he commented.
It worked. The green-eyed monster immediately possessed Legolas, who shot jealous looks at the speaker.
The speaker, however, seemed to be immune to death glares. She started droning on and on about hair care and general cleanliness, and in no time at all Aragorn was bored to death. True, he discovered what it meant to take a bath, as well as learnt about a cleansing agent known as 'shampoo', but other than that, he found a lot of things that was mentioned nonsensical.
"Er… Legolas? Isn't it a little ridiculous to count out a THOUSAND strokes and wash your hair THREE times a day?" he asked, after the seminar.
Legolas looked miffed.
"It ISN'T." He added as an afterthought, "At least you've been paying attention………" His eyes gleamed. "Let's see if you can put what you have learnt to practice…"
"NO!"
"Yes."
"NO!"
"YES!!! Just think of Arwen…" Legolas gave an evil smile, "You will do anything to make her happy, won't you? Anything. Anything…" he murmured slowly, softly, but persuasively.
"But…" Aragorn the almighty whimpered pathetically at his elf friend.
"No 'buts'. Remember, you love her. You LOVE her. You would do anything for her. Anything………" Legolas attempted to guilt-trap Aragorn…
"…"
…And succeeded.
"FINE! WHATEVER YOU SAY!"
"MUAHAHAHA!" Legolas laughed manically at his latest success.
"Oh well… I suppose it can't be that bad…" Aragorn thought, trying to comfort himself.