It felt so lonesome there, even though Ash was surrounded by family and loved ones.
But the one she did want... well, he wasn't there.
He just wasn't.
And maybe he'd never be open to her... because, he was married to a ghost.
Just let him go, her brain told her, but her heart beat fast at such an idea, you never really had him to begin with...
She was laying in bed that night, going to her room early enough. All she did there was just stare at the roof. Stare right through it nearly.
Her brain tried to make her see sense, but her heart had completely different plans in store.
Go to him when you can and TELL him you love him!
Even that idea, which was deep in the core of her heart, still hurt to feel... still hurt to understand.
Why couldn't she be a robot and not have these feelings and conflicting ideas?
Why... was being an adult and being wise so very hard.
So very hard for her, would it be hard forever?
She slowly closed her eyes and after what only felt like a second, she jumped awake at the sound of her phone buzzing.
She sat up quickly, awake and alert and realized as her eyes gazed out the window, it was morning already.
So fast the night went when one is not there... unconscious, asleep.
But enough of that musing. She quickly reached her hand over to her phone that was on the desk next to her bed, her guitar leaning near it, against the wall.
She answered the call and stilted surprised when she heard his voice.
"Hey, Ash!"
Though it wasn't who she really wanted it to be... no.
"Oh, hey Mr Moon." She said awkwardly and closed her eyes, sighing out in disappointment.
"Just wanted to let you know that we're hosting a New Year's Eve party in my theatre, on the thirty-first."
"Yes, Mr Moon..." Ash said quietly, rolling her eyes and making a small smirk, "I know when New Year's eve is."
"Good! Good!" He said back quickly, and she swore it sounded like he was given a thumbs-up on the other end of the line. It actually sounded like he was dancing in excitement over the prospect of his party, "Well! Be there or be square, as the kids say."
"No kid has said that since the fifties..." Ash replied back blankly and added on just as blank, "Bye..."
"CIAO!" He called back and she rolled her eyes again. She swore if she kept rolling them so much they'd literally fall out of her socket.
She closed her phone case and just sighed heavily.
"What's the point of going..."
She got out of bed and changed her PJs to her normal clothes, when the only animal I want to see now, won't be there...
She looked at herself in her mirror reflection and gave a half smile up one side of her face. She just stared at her expression, before exhaling heavily and getting out her make-up.
For the next few days, whenever she heard someone at the door or entering the house, she immediately always thought it was that lion.
That magnificent strong old lion.
But it never was.
After the first ten cases were just missed alarms, she had grown used to the disappointment and decided to let it go.
Let go of the hope and possibility that the animal she wanted, wanted her back.
He didn't.
He had made that so clear a thousand times. A thousand times she didn't realize she had misread every time!
She sat on the couch as the thirtieth of December passed her by, and her sad blue eyes were glued to the family TV screen.
It's a Wonderful Life, (the animal version that is) played on the bright TV and she squinted a bit when her wounded casked arm ached for no apparent reason.
Watching the film made her eyes fill up with tears that she tried to withhold, but they only streamed down her cheeks, mixing with her mascara and she froze stiff when that old familiar female voice said.
"Y'know, Ash... he really did like you..."
She twisted her head rigidly to the side of her, seeing her granny had sat down on the couch as well.
"What do you mean...?"
Her old granny only frowned, rolling her own elderly eyes up to the sky as she continued, "That lion. He liked you."
"How-?"
"When you get to my age, God willing you do, you know these things, can see them plainly like the nose on your face."
"Are you saying my NOSE is big?"
"NO." The elderly porcupine muttered, folding her arms and continuing, "If you weren't so wrapped up in your own head and emotions, you would've seen it instantly."
Ash honestly didn't know how to or which way to reply.
"You... you really think he liked me?"
"Well, yes. Obviously."
Ash grew very quiet at that moment, and looked back at the screen as the credits for the film were now rolling. The movie was over.
But her story with Clay Calloway may not be.
~x~
Then why did he leave?
She was walking carefully along the icy footpath of her city. There were many animals in the crowds as everyone was doing their last bit of shopping before New Year's Eve.
Maybe he just didn't realize that I loved him back.
Woah! Woah!
Her mind added on quickly in thought at her sudden assumption.
Remember, assuming makes an ASS at of U and ME.
She laughed at her own jokey thought but then sighed heavily as she saw herself in the reflection of a glass window that was still lit up with bright Christmas lights and filled with crowds on the other side.
The young porcupine took a step closer to it, just seeing herself in the busy street reflected back at her... alone.
How she just wanted to hold his DAMN hand. To... to know what it felt like to hold his hand... kiss him and have him kiss her back...
She didn't realize her fantasizing till a cold breeze blew past her and awoke her from her vivid thoughts.
Her desires.
Her only desire right now being Clay Calloway.
She was pathetic.
No. She was simply in love.
~x~
The party was not what she expected it to be. No. It was better.
She hung out around the punch bowl with Johnny and Nooshy, sipping her drink gradually, and making the plastic cup empty every few minutes.
"Slow down on the punch, yeah, Ash?" Johnny laughed as he filled her cup back up with the ladle that was for use for drinks.
"Why?" Ash asked, hiccuping a little and looking at the two with giddy eyes, "It's not like it's alcohol or anything!"
"It IS alcohol," Johnny replied with a laugh and Ash's eyes went wide at this sudden realization.
"Oh..." She said, her voice a little slurred and she placed her cup on the table. But it wasn't mere seconds later that she finished her drink, and added, "A little bit of alcohol never hurt anyone."
"I hear that!" Nooshy said with a giggle and Johnny just stared at the two girls in utter disbelief.
"Okay, you two are both wrong, ha ha!"
The three of them continued to talk in drunken and near-drunken giggles.
"I HAVE TO PEE!" Ash suddenly yelped out of nowhere and rushed away from the two, Johnny calling to her.
"That's what ALCOHOL does!"
Ash managed to make it to the ladies' toilets, but when she re-entered back into the main party room, she nearly became a statue – a tipsy one at that – when she saw someone she did not expect, enter the room.
"No, no, no!" She said aloud to herself, her cheeks flaming red from the drink and her embarrassment over her non-sober self, "Not him! NOT HERE! NOT LIKE THIS!"
She began to run, to hide from the lion she was still in love with, but the thing about being (slightly) drunk is you don't always coordinate the best and tend to make bad decisions and choices.
In other words, instead of running in the right direction, she ran the wrong direction and slammed into her idol, right there at the door.
"Ash..." Clay whispered, and her eyes went huge in total embarrassment.
"Oh... you... C-Clay," She hiccuped after she had said his beautiful name, and he was about to say something more, but she just ran to the door.
Escaping him and escaping hopefully any humiliation that would come her way.
Clay only looked at her as she stood outside in the freezing cold, the door slamming shut, before turning back to the party and seeing everyone was watching him. Watching the whole scene that had just taken place.
"Well!" Buster Moon suddenly yelled at Calloway, and the old lion blinked, tensing up when the koala came up to him, "Go bring her back in!"
"...huh?"
"GO! SHE'LL FREEZE TO DEATH AT THERE!"
It was Gunter who said this that time.
Calloway pointed to himself as if to indicate he was definitely the one they were asking and everyone said to him exasperated.
"YES!"
He broke into an unsure smile and turned, pushing open the door and when he entered the outside, it slammed shut behind him, making him jerk forward in surprise.
Then, he saw the most beautiful girl standing just at the steps... crying.
He didn't want her to cry over him.
He just wanted her to be happy.
"Ash...?" He asked in a soft whisper of a voice and she wiped her stained eyes from mascara, as she looked at him, her eyes still wet.
"Clay... I-"
"I'm sorry I missed Christmas," Was all he replied with.
"I am too..." Ash continued, and gave a shaky smile as she added, "I mean... that YOU missed it."
"Friends...?" He asked nervously. Though he only asked that for it was what he presumed she wanted to hear.
She only locked eyes with him and shook her head.
The old lion stepped back, lost and surprised by what her shake meant.
"Calloway," She whispered and stood up as straight as she could, but he still towered over her.
"I- I LOVE-"
"COME INSIDE!" Buster suddenly yelled from the now open door, "OR YOU TWO WILL FREEZE TO DEATH!"
The two looked at one another, before back to the koala, and they smiled uncomfortably as they entered back inside.
"You can tell me later," Calloway said to the girl, and she felt her heart quake.
Was her granny telling the truth when she said that Calloway liked her back?
Maybe even LOVED her...?"
Don't ruin it, Ash... her mind told her once again, FRIENDS is all he said.
But that wasn't what he meant... was it?
Friends...? Really Clay? The lion's own mind thought to him, You have NOTHING to lose if you just TELL HER!
The two were both zoned out before they both suddenly realized they were staring into each other's eyes.
"Clay... Calloway," Ash said, as she snapped out of it the moment the two realized this, "There's something I've wanted to tell you now, for the longest time."
"Ash, I have to tell you something too."
"EVERYONE!" Buster Moon yelled as the TV showed that the clock was counting down, "TEN SECONDS TILL MIDNIGHT!"
1O!
"I more than like you, Clay."
9!
"I more than like you back," He answered.
8!
"I love you." They said together.
7!
"Really?" Ash asked, her heart fluttering.
6!
"I can't help but love you."
5!
"I can't help it either! You dumb lion!"
4!
"So... what now?" He asked, his heart filling with joy.
3!
"This," Ash said and reached to be held in his arms.
2!
He understood completely what the gesture was and leant forward to her in return.
1!
"HAPPY NEW YEARS!" Everyone cheered but the two of them were silent as they were sharing something.
A kiss.
A kiss on the first of January.
And everyone else sang in synch the song of the New Year.