Joint creation of Anakin McFly, Elalipa and Zansetsu.
Disclaimer: Remember what I said in the previous chapter? I lied. I DO own LOTR, because J.R.R. Tolkein was my bestest best friend in kindergarten and he gave me ownership of the book when he died. *nose grows 3 feet* Please, I wasn't even born.
Warning: Legolas fangirls, if you cannot accept the drastic changes coming up for your favourite elf, please stop reading this. We don't want to die, neither do we want to be murdered. By the way, all characters would be tortured sometime or the other, so there.
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CHAPTER TWO: And J.R.R. Tolkein Turned in His Grave
"Can't you comb at a faster pace, Legolas?" Aragorn complained.
"Why don't YOU do it, then? Be grateful I'm combing it for you. Combing YOUR hair a thousand times is no easy feat. And your hair is all... tangled...up!" said Legolas, struggling to comb the man's hair.
"OW!" Aragorn yelped in pain as the comb snapped in two. Sighing, Legolas picked up another one and tried to remove the first.
"Stop moving. You'll mess up the hair. If that happens, I'll re-comb it a thousand times," Legolas said menacingly.
Aragorn sat very still after that.
Everything went smoothly till somewhere round the 758th stroke...
"It's so late and I haven't even got the chance to comb my hair." Legolas moaned.
"Well, what were you doing in the morning, then?" Aragorn turned to ask.
"Attempting to wake you up so you would not miss that seminar." Legolas scowled. "Stop moving your head, Aragon. Its distracting!"
"Okay." Aragon shrugged.
"Stop MOVING!" Legolas blasted.
"Whatever." Aragon bowed down his head and muttered to himself.
"I said: S-T-O-P M-O-V-I-N-G." Legolas hissed through clenched teeth, "Which part of that do you not understand, Aragon?"
Aragon gulped nervously, and wisely kept his mouth shut as he kept as still as possible. Suddenly, he felt Legolas stop.
"Uh...what..."
The elf's face was whiter than usual.
"Aragorn... There is a MUSHROOM growing on your head."
"Oh." Aragorn paused to contemplate the meaning of Legolas' words. "Well, I'm not surprised. It IS the mushroom and truffle season..."
There was a moment of silence. Legolas briefly pictured Aragorn harvesting a crop of mushrooms growing on his head.
"Um, do you want me to leave it there or what?"
"Nah, just take it out."
Legolas took a deep breath and pulled out the mushroom. He placed it in front of Aragorn, who promptly popped it into his mouth.
The elf was speechless. Maybe Aragorn CULTIVATED those mushrooms.
The next day...
"WHAT!" Aragon roared indignantly.
"Yes, you heard me right," Legolas commented in his as-a-matter-of-fact voice.
"But...but... To DYE IT???"
"Yes, and to dye it silver. Like elves' hair." Legolas concealed a small smile as he dragged Aragorn out of bed for the second time running.
A grown man struggling from an elf determined never to lose his grip on the other was not something one would see very often.
And yet, elves loitering outside one of Rivendell's most established educational institutes were treated to that same scene for a second time. Again, the man was shrieking away at a pitch that would put the best piccolo player to shame.
"I DON'T WANT TO GO!"
Somehow or other, with much hauling and threats on the elf's part, Legolas managed to get Aragorn into the hairstylist's and onto a chair.
"I DON'T WANT TO..."
Of all elves who could be on shift at that particular time and place, it had to be Arwen. It took just one look at her beloved, the Mister "I-don't-know-what-is-personal-grooming" in a HAIRSTYLIST'S for her to faint.
Another female elf scurried out, and with much difficulty pulled the unconscious Arwen on top of a chair, all the time mumbling something about how chivalry was vanishing these days. Legolas heard that with his sharp elven ears, and immediately got up. The female elf immediately plastered on a professional looking (but fake) smile that said, "No, I can handle this."
She finished soon enough on her own. "May I help you?"
"Yeah," Legolas replied, as he slumped, exhausted, into a chair. "This guy would like his hair dyed silver."
"What do you mean I..." This time Aragorn was interrupted by a glare from the elf girl.
The elf girl seemed to have the ability to speak with her eyes. This glare said, "You made enough trouble here already by causing Arwen to faint and making me work extra, so you'd better shut up." Her look then became more professional. She surveyed him, wrinkling her nose at the smell.
"But first I think he'd better take a bath." Chucking a white towel and a bottle of shampoo at him, she shooed Aragorn outside. Legolas, however, stayed put as he browsed through a book of different hairdos.
"And what would you like?"
Legolas flipped through a few more pages, finally settling on one of an elf with a punk hairdo. The spiky kind.
He held up the picture.
"I'd like this hairdo." He paused. "And I'd also like to dye my hair."
"What colour?" the hairdresser asked, taking note of the picture.
Legolas thought for a moment, and then grinned.
"Blue," he replied.
The elf girl arched one of her eyebrows delicately.
"Electric blue," Legolas affirmed.
And J.R.R. Tolkien turned in his grave.
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A/N: I am SO sorry if you're reading this and the format was screwed. It's Microsoft Word's fault. The whole thing was redone in HTML, which I don't think any of us is brilliant at, but I think we know enough.