DISCLAIMER: Gensoumaden Saiyuki belongs to Minekura-sensei. If I did own Saiyuki, Sanzo would always be in his leather pants (drool…), Hakkai would be mine (oh he'd be perfect!), Goku would be my cousin (ah…so adorable!) and Gojyo would be my brother in-law (Oh Rage-kun…) *sounds of thunder and flashes of lightning * O_o Crap…now I can't get Sanzo out of my head. Damn corrupt monk. And before I forget…I don't own Evanescence too. Such lovely songs…
Pairing: Homura Taishi x Rinrei. Can't believe I actually wrote this. O_o SPOILER ALERT! Hey…I might just give Yuu Watase a run for her money on the goosh department… *shudder * O_o Or not…
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Anywhere
The Dark was his friend for as long as he could remember. The Cold was his bedfellow. He knew nothing of the world beyond his jail cell. He had grown up here, behind steel bars. Chains forged by nameless gods bound his hand and feet. Time was meaningless to him. His whole existence was just sleeping and waking.
"How long does God intend to keep that heretic in?"
He lifted his head to look at the guard that had spat out those words. To them, he did NOT EXIST. The other guard's face twisted in annoyance and distaste.
"Until he dies of course."
"Why can't they just dispose of him like the heretic that he is?"
Heretic. He'd heard that word repeatedly. A taboo child. An abhorrent child. A child whose very existence is an anathema to Heaven's perfection. He was a heretic. That was why he was locked up in Heaven's deepest dungeons, a place reserved especially for those who mar the pristine realm.
"They can't." Guard number two said. "He's God's relative."
"That woman was crazy- shacking up with a mortal man when she was a goddess. What happened to her anyway?"
The guard shrugged, "Transmigrated below as punishment for committing a taboo."
The two guards moved away from his cell leaving him alone again. So Heaven was waiting for him to die. It didn't matter. Death was just another form of existence wasn't it? Only I'd have no awareness or consciousness at all. Yes. It was better than what I have now.
Here, he only had this gnawing empty feeling. He didn't even know why.
A door opened at the far end of the oppressive dungeon. A ray of light streamed into his dark cell. Sounds of distant laughter reached his ears. Laughter… such an alien sound to his deprived ears. He felt a strangely incomprehensible longing.
What is this I am feeling? Why do I feel so hollow? Why am I feeling anything at all?
The door closed. Blessed darkness returned. The desire to die became stronger.
I should never have looked at the light.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Light flooded his cell. He blinked his eyes. Two men stood before him. They did not look happy.
"Get up!" one hissed as he prodded him with the tip of a spear.
He blinked uncomprehendingly.
"Stand up you disgusting heretic!" the spear had drawn blood but strangely enough, he felt nothing. He stood up, easily towering over the two guards. A flicker of fear momentarily crossed the faces of the two guards.
"Get out!" the other one said angrily.
"I don't understand." Was that his voice? It sounded so much older. How long was it since I used my voice? A distant memory washed over him. Before his eyes played a vision of a woman's smiling face. Before he knew what to think, the same woman was crying out his name as gods came and tore him away from her embrace. Could I possibly be that boy?
"God has given you your freedom so get out!"
And so he came to stand before God. The other gods in the court huddled and whispered. He must have made quite a sight. His clothes were dirty. His black hair was long and unkempt. Chains still bound his hands and bare feet but did not impede his movements.
God eyed his nephew with distaste. His nephew was now tall and handsome just like all the other high-ranking gods. Only his eyes betrayed his heritage. One eye was the same color as his mother's eyes-a dark blue, the shade of midnight or the deepest ocean. The other was golden. 'Twas the mark of a taboo child-an itan. Despite the fact that mortal blood flowed in his veins, Homura was still exceedingly powerful. Only the chains that bound him kept his power in check. Why is it always the heretical creatures that possess great power? God wondered.
"From this day on Homura, you are free to walk Heaven's Realms until the end of your days," he declared. If only that stupid idiot had died in his cell like he was supposed to. Who would have guess that his pagan nephew would have lived this long?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Homura walked outside. The light blinded his sensitive sight. He was free -really, truly, free. Why, then, did he feel no different from when he was in a cell? Why did the days of sunshine feel no different from the nights he felt in his cell? The other gods still avoided him. There was still no purpose for his existence. No reason at all.
~\\ Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me? And, dear my love, haven't you longed to be free? I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you. And at sweet night, you are my own. Take my hand…\\~
"Kirei," she said softly.
They were standing on a field of flowers. Her soft voice brought him out of his thoughts. He looked down to where Rinrei was kneeling, admiring the blooming flowers. A smile lit up her beautiful face but her eyes seemed so sad.
He remembered the first time they'd met. It all happened when she ran into him and injured herself. He had fully expected her to turn away from him in disgust. She was, after all, a pure goddess, and he was an untouchable itan -an outcast from society. Her apology was the farthest thing from his expectations.
Rinrei looked up into Homura's eyes. He had fascinated her when they first met. It was only later that she learned who he really was. But by then it was already too late. She had committed a sin. That knowledge haunted her- pained her.
"What is it, Rinrei?" he inquired gently.
She was torn inside. They both were torn inside. What they were doing was unforgivable. A violation of Heaven's rules. Nevertheless, they both knew that…so why are they still doing this?
"I can't go on," she said. Her voice was full of a deeply burning pain. "I can't keep pretending that I do not know you. I can't do this anymore." Her voice trailed away.
"Rinrei…"
"All I want is to be with you, Homura," her voice shook as she held back her tears. "Be with you forever…" Tears welled up in her eyes.
He wrapped her in his arms, holding her close. For the first time, he wanted to live. For her. He wanted true freedom for them both. Freedom and Life…if only to spare her from sorrow…if only to spare those that he had come to love from the sorrow of Death…
~\\ We're leaving here tonight. There's no need to tell anyone. They'd only hold us down. So by the morning light, we'll be half way to anywhere, where Love is more than just your name. \\~
We will leave Heaven. We will run away to the mortal world. The more I think about it, the more certain I feel. Yes. It feels right. Down there no one can judge us. We'll leave quietly. Unnoticed. Heaven will not miss us. Everyone wants me gone anyway. Down there, we could be free.
"Rinrei," he whispered her name in the dark. She stirred beside him in her sleep. He looked at her peacefully sleeping face. Her body felt warm against his. A slight smile played on her lips as she slept.
She deserved more than this. She had cried when they made love. He knew the reason. He felt it too. They could not be together- not forever.
He crushed the thought. Tonight. Tonight, they will leave Heaven. He couldn't stand to stay another day in this accursed place. Another day of passing by each other in God's Halls and pretending she meant nothing to him. Another day of meeting secretly at night. Another day of being careful so that the other gods will not notice and tear her away from him.
Yes. Tonight. They will go tonight.
~\\ I have dreamt of a place for you and I. No one knows who we are there. All I want is to give my life only to you. I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore. Let's run away, I'll take you there. \\~
She was late. They had promised to meet in the very same place that they had first met. His instinct tells him that something was wrong but he furiously banished the thought. She will come. She always does. He'll find a place for them both where they can be free. A place away from anyone. A home. A paradise with no rules to bind them. His heart ached with the dream. As long as she is with him, even Hell would be paradise. Even Hell is preferable to this Heaven.
A sound. He straightened up and the smile vanished from his face. There was no Rinrei. Only soldiers from Heaven's army greeted him.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
God was furious. The soldiers had thrown him at God's feet. He had no idea what could have made the old man furious. It can't be his relationship with Rinrei. They were discreet. His heart skipped a beat. Rinrei! Something must be wrong with Rinrei. No, she wouldn't betray him. She loved him. No there must be something else…they were always angry with him anyway.
"UNGRATEFUL, INSOLENT CHILD!"
God's voice boomed in his ears.
"How dare you commit this unpardonable sin?!"
What sin? No, no, it can't be. There was no way they could have found out. However, his heart was still racing and his whole body was becoming numb.
"HOW DARE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH A GODDESS!"
His world stopped. His knees felt weak. He clenched his fists to stop his hands from shaking. They knew. But how? How could they possibly…? How?
"I do not love." His own voice sounded flat and convincing to his ears. The lie cut through him. Believe it you old fool. Believe it! I will lie. I will deny our love. If only to protect Rinrei!
"Enough lies!" God thundered. "Rinrei herself confessed to the sin…"
Homura's world was shattering. She could not have betrayed him…had she?
"…when her sisters caught her trying to run away."
No. No. He could see her now, going out to meet with him only to have the other goddesses set upon her. His greatest fear was coming true.
"As punishment I have made her transmigrate to world below as a mortal."
"NO!" he found himself standing up to God. He heard his own voice thunder above everyone else. Who cares about rules anymore? They had taken her away from him! The court buzzed and hissed at his transgression.
God ignored him and continued, "She will not remember her life here. She will have a short life like all mortals."
"You can't do this! If anyone here who has committed a sin, it is me!" he screamed at God. "I should be punished. Not her! She is innocent!" He did not sense the salt tears that had come unbidden to his eyes.
"As for you…"
God was unmoving. Homura wondered how a god who created all things could be so heartless. The old fool! Doesn't he realize I will follow Rinrei? To the ends of the earth if need be. I will find her!
"The post of the fighting god has been vacant for centuries. You will take Nataku Taishi's place as Heaven's fighting god."
He was not hearing this. Heaven was now forcing an unclean task on him. Gods were expressly forbidden to take a life. Fighting gods were different. They were exempted from God's no killing rule. However, in order to do that…
"Nooo…" his voice trailed away. There was no following Rinrei. When God decreed him as a Taishi, he ceased to hear the voice of her heart. He could no longer hear anyone's heart. He could no longer find her. This was not happening. This could not be happening. He and Rinrei were supposed to find paradise and live happily ever after.
"From this day on you will be called as Toushin Taishi Homura. You will use your powers to subdue those who seek to disrupt Heaven's peace." God smiled at himself. He had broken Homura. His punishment was brilliantly crafted. Brilliantly executed. He WAS God.
A fighting god is cruel. A fighting god takes life. A fighting god does not hear the voices of creation.
One day… You will regret turning me into a Taishi. I will make you regret it. I will make you regret taking her away from me. I swear it!
~\\ We're leaving here tonight. There's no need to tell anyone. They'd only hold us down. So by the morning light, we'll be half way to anywhere, where no one needs a reason why. \\~
Beneath Heaven's perfect façade lies a decadent, corrupt and vile existence. Homura laughed mirthlessly. There was no difference between Heaven and Hell. At least in Hell, the demons do not have any pretensions.
Heaven is palace world built on the deceit and greed of beings too caught up in themselves to be touched by any human alive. Gods laugh at the pathetic greed of humans -are they so blind as not to see that their own faults far exceed those of humans?
He stood up. The time was now right to make his move. He had traveled all over the realms searching for her. He never did find her. How many years had passed? She must have passed from the Realm of the Living and into the Realm of the Dead by now… A human's lifespan is only so long… Have I lost her forever? Yes, I know I have.
Already he could feel his mortality catching up to him. Like most gods, he looked no older than a young man did in his prime. But his body was weakening. The centuries had caught up. He had better execute his plan now before it was too late.
"Oy," a voice said. Homura turned around. Xenon. A general from one of Heaven's army. "Where do you think you're going, Homura?"
"I'm leaving Heaven."
"Hmm, this place has been getting boring lately." The other speaker was a gentle looking god. Shien.
"Are you going to stop me?" he asked them.
Xenon shrugged, "Depends. What are you planning to do?"
"Destroy Heaven."
The three gods stared at each other. Xenon, the god whose mortal wife and child had been killed by a demon. He too was shunned in Heaven. Shien, who had watched the child Nataku in all his battles, forbidden to help or interfere until finally Nataku had fallen into a dreamless sleep unable to wake again. Shien, he who had felt guilt and remorse for the boy Nataku. Two emotions that were banned in heaven for such things should not exist in the Perfect Realm.
They were all outcasts in their own right. All three of them. Three restless souls bonded by Fate's careless whims.
"Why not?" Xenon said. "This place is the pits anyway."
"You will give up everything if you chose to follow me," Homura warned them.
"You are not alone in wishing this Heaven destroyed," Shien said quietly.
~\\ Forget this life, come with me, don't look back you're safe now. Unlock your heart. Drop your guard. No one's left to stop you now. \\~
The new world that they had so painstakingly created was falling apart. Shien had been the first to fall, followed by Xenon.
Homura stared at the blond priest and the young boy at his side. Sanzo had used his spirit-ascending gun to destroy the seal that bound this young world. When the seal was destroyed, the new world had begun to consume itself. The field of flowers that reminded him of Rinrei was vanishing quickly.
Konzen. Goku. You really don't remember Heaven do you? Homura asked the monk, Sanzo, silently.
Two men entered the gate. The red head was supporting the other one. They had fought two gods and survived.
Kenren. Tempou. No, Hakkai and Gojyo now in this lifetime.
Like Konzen, they too had no memory of Heaven. Was it like this for you too, Rinrei? Pain seared across his chest. He doubled over. Wait. Not yet. Hold on. I'm still not finished here. Soon, Rinrei. Soon, I'll be with you.
"What are you hesitating for, Goku?" the blond priest said to the boy. "Give Homura what he wants."
The boy looked uncertain.
"Don't look down on me, boy!" Homura said. "I'll show you yet my real power." The chains dropped from his hands and feet. The power that was sealed for centuries blazed out from him catching Goku unawares.
Homura never felt so exhilarated before as he pounded Goku into a rock. Never felt so alive. "Isn't this fun, Goku? Isn't this fun?!" he laughed maniacally. His dreams were falling apart but he was laughing. His paradise was disappearing into the void and still he laughed.
Then the pain returned stronger than ever.
"Homura?" Goku's golden eyes were wide with confusion as Homura doubled up in the sudden pain.
"Goku!"
Goku turned to look at Sanzo before turning back to Homura. Homura desperately launched himself at Goku. Goku countered with a kick that sent him flying. Homura ended up on the ground.
Yes. This was what he wanted. One more thing left to do now…
He stared at Sanzo. The man returned his gaze evenly and without fear. Homura knew that Sanzo knew a lot more than he let on. He knew that Sanzo heard him. Heard his voice. Heard his heart…
He leaped to the sky and went for Sanzo's throat.
"SHI-NE KONZEN!"
Goku reacted with lightning speed just as Homura had hoped. At the split second before Goku's staff connected with his body, he turned and gave the boy a smile of thanks. Goku's eyes widened in surprise but it was too late… There was a sickening sound as the point of the nyoibu slammed into his flesh with all of Goku's god-like strength. It threw Homura forcefully to the ground until he finally crashed into the stone pillar.
It was over. It was finally over.
~\\ We're leaving here tonight. There's no need to tell anyone. They'd only hold us down. So by the morning light, we'll be half way to anywhere. Where no one needs a reason why... \\~
"Konzen, I know I haven't the right to ask you this but please seal this world leaving me inside it," he asked the priest as he lay dying. For the first time, in all of the long centuries, he was happy. He had lived, as he wanted to live. No regret. No rules. He will die in this perfect world that he created. A world that will never be corrupted by Heaven's hypocrisy. The world around him darkens. So this is dying. He could still hear the voices of Sanzo's party talking but it sounded so far away. The voices receded until finally there was only silence.
It was dark. But it wasn't cold. He wasn't afraid. Soon he will be with her.
/Homura?/
His eyes flew open. He was floating in darkness.
/Rinrei?/
A small light steadily grew brighter until he could see her smiling face. She held out her arms towards him in joy.
/Welcome home, Homura/
He was home.
~\\ We're leaving here tonight. There's no need to tell anyone. They'd only hold us down. So by the morning light, we'll be half way to anywhere. Where Love is more than just your name... \\~
Owari
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A/N:
Shi-ne = Die
Kirei = pretty
Toushin Taishi = title given to a fighting god in Saiyuki fandom
Owari = The End
Nyoibu = the staff that appears and magically extends itself whenever Goku wants it too
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