"I can't do this no more Heyes, I just can't. It feels like I'm drownin' most days lately."
They were sat huddled close to the fire in the chilled air. They had no money for a hotel room, so were forced to sleep outside, even though the weather was becoming wintry.
They'd just found out another year had been added to their 'year' of keeping out of trouble, which meant they were heading towards three.
Kid stayed staring into the fire, not looking at him as he spoke and Heyes felt a chill down his back that had nothing to with the weather. His partner had been quieter than even his usual for weeks and there had obviously been something wrong. However Heyes, pretty sure what the problem was, had been afraid to ask, aware that he wouldn't like the answer. But now with it out in the open, he knew he could no longer pretend, and had to face the reality of what was bothering his friend. Maybe if he addressed the issue head on, he might be able to find some way round it. But he wasn't sure of that at all, knowing his partner too well, so he asked almost hesitantly. "This? Us being partners? The amnesty? Whatcha mean by this?"
The Kid drew his gaze to look at Heyes, though it was obvious that he was doing so with some effort. "Amnesty, and I guess seein' as you don't seem to want to give up on it, bein' partners too."
Heyes despite expecting exactly that reply, still felt like he'd been dumped head first into a freezing horse trough. But with the skill of long practice he only said calmly. "Don't seem real sensible, Kid. We've been at this long enough, that another twelve months should be easy."
The Kid stood angrily, throwing his hands up as he swirled to meet Heyes' gaze. "That's just it! I don't think we're ever gonna get it! They're just stringin us along, hoping we get caught or die or somethin'."
Heyes of course had exactly the same fears, but a streak of stubborn optimism, meant he rarely allowed himself to think them, never mind say them out loud. "So what? You'll just up and leave me? And then what? You figured out how you're gonna get money to live? You gonna rob a bank? There's a reason we agree that most times I do the thinking."
Kid glared at him. "I ain't stupid! Don't worry Heyes, I won't do nothin' that'll affect your chances. I'll just head up to Canada or better yet down to South America. Build me a life out there. I can think for myself whatever you like to believe! Though I was dumb enough to listen to ya in Porterville."
Heyes stood himself as his own anger peaked. "There ain't no call for that, Kid. We agreed to do this together, I didn't hold no gun to your head. And now you're talking about leaving me in the lurch and finding yourself some señorita to bed? That don't sound like you take this partnership real serious even after all these years."
The Kid opened his mouth to argue, then with a heavy sigh, instead slumped at the words and sat back down by the fire. After a few moments of charged silence, Heyes joined him, as his friend looked up to meet his gaze. "It ain't like that Heyes. I just..." He trailed off , looked away and in the gathering gloom, Heyes could see the misery in his hunched shoulders. But only a few heartbeats later, he took a deep breath, still staring into the twilight and said softly. "All right Heyes, you win, we give it twelve more months, then if we ain't no closer, we can have another chat." He met Heyes' gaze fiercely as he added louder. "But then I'm done and you ain't gonna be able to talk me out of it."
Heyes swallowed, faced the fact that he had merely been given a year's reprieve, recognising the finality in his partner's tone. He was in absolutely no doubt that If they had this conversation again, and he insisted on carrying on with amnesty, then he'd be quickly watching his partner leave. So it was easy to make the only decision that made sense for them both and he nodded to himself as with a slightly rueful smile, he patted Kid's knee firmly.
He met Kid's firm expression with a resolute one of his own, as he said with determination. "In twelve months, if we ain't no closer, then I'll be coming with you. Who knows what kinda trouble you'll get into on your own?" Kid didn't rise to the bait, but his expression lightened, so after a pause Heyes added more seriously. "I think we better start learnin' us some South American."
Kid glanced over at him, his eyes bright in the light of the fire, Heyes was relieved when he managed a small but genuine smile and said quietly. "That sure sounds like one of your better plans, Heyes."
Heyes let out a quiet huff of breath, realising that the crisis had passed for now. But he was as aware as the Kid obviously was, that even at the end of those twelve months, it was highly possible nothing would have changed in their precarious situation.
It was now very clear to him, even with twelve months still ahead of them, that it was time to stop pretending, even to himself, that he still believed everything would work out like they'd both hoped it would, way back in Porterville.
After a glance over at his friend, who was back to studying the dancing flames, but thankfully looking less uncomfortable and more relaxed, now that things were out in the open between them, Heyes started to make further plans for their future.
It wouldn't be easy giving up on amnesty and leaving his home country behind ,but as the only alternative was losing the only person he truly trusted then it was more than worth it and there was no other decision to be made.