Well..I wanted to update again tonight, so again I find myself restricted
my time.I promise I'm going to try to find time this weekend to write
responses to all the kind reviews I've been getting..but until them please
continue to read and review..
Remember nothing is my own.
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Chapter Eleven: Problems in Paradise
Lily felt like she was a million miles away, the sun had completely faded into the darkening sky. She wanted to stay lost in James arms forever. She didn't notice all the stares coming from her fellow house members, she didn't notice the kissing motions Sirius was making from over near the couch. The only thing she knew was she was in James arms and that was all the mattered.
James was also floating somewhere between heaven and Earth, he had almost forgotten the full moon was shining right outside the window. He and Lily had been dancing for almost two whole hours, sometimes with the music, sometimes without the music.
James felt a tap on his shoulders, "may I cut in?" Sirius joked.
James was about to accuse him of trying to steal Lily when he caught Sirius's eyes and he knew why he was interrupting James pulled Lily's head up towards his, she was preparing herself for a kiss, but that isn't what she got.
"I've got to go," James whispered.
Lily shot him a dangerous look , and jumped back.
She shook her head sadly, " I guess a Marauder trick is still more important than I am."
She felt instantly bad for saying it.
"Lily, it's not a Marauder prank," James confessed.
Lily suddenly felt her urge to apologize slip away, "than what is it?" she demanded.
James lowered his head, " I can't tell you."
Lily now lowered her head, "I thought you could tell me anything."
"It's not my choice," he tried.
Lily felt her tempering flaring up, " Oh James Potter, don't you give me that load of crap."
"Lily it's the truth, it's not my call!" James argued.
"Then who's call is it, your precious Marauders?"
"YES"
Lily now had her arms flared out in front of her, "Fine!' she spat. "I hate secrets James," Lily cried.
"If you can't tell me something as silly as what you and the Marauders are planning on doing, how can I trust you?" Lily was now fighting back tears.
James now was gripping Lily around her shoulders, "Lily, I promise you it's not something stupid, and I'd tell you if it was my choice."
Lily smiled forcefully, "go." She turned away from James and walked away.
James wanted to follow her, to explain why he had to go, but he knew he couldn't tell her. It wouldn't be fair to Lupin, it was his secret, not James. He watched her walk away, it was almost like it happened in slow motion.
"Come on Prongs, it's time to go," Peter urged watching his dear friend.
Sirius, James and Peter quietly exiting the Gryffindor common room. Lily watched the portrait close behind him. She was so angry, so hurt. She knew she was being jealous, but she wanted to know what James was keeping from her. She had never kept anything from him. He knew everything about her, even her horrible sister. What was so important he'd place it above their relationship?
The night went by quickly for everybody but James, this time the three animagi and werewolf wandered the streets of Hogmeade. It was a typical Marauder adventure, with Padfoot doing his normal bouncing routine, but James couldn't get Lily off his mind. He hated leaving her so angry.
Padfoot gave a warning bark, and motioned James to come have a look. James felt his blood surge at the sight. A group of dark hooded individuals was blasting the streets of Hogmeade apart. Padfoot suddenly made a dash to make sure Moony hadn't smelled the human's blood. Prongs stared in disbelief for a moment then followed Padfoot.
When they finally reached Moony, he had a wild look in his eyes. Remus Lupin was no longer in control of this beast. Prongs tried to push Moony towards Honeydukes. They had to get Moony out of here. Yes, he was a werewolf, but he still was able to be hit by unfriendly charms and spells. Prongs kept battling and Padfoot was trying to distract the hooded figures away from Honeydukes. The hooded figures tried to blast Padfoot with a few spells, they obviously didn't like the attention he was causing.
Prongs had barely managed to get Moony into the tunnel when lights started popping on all over Hogmeade. Padfoot scooped Wormtail up in his mouth and made a mad dash for Honeydukes. He had just entered the secret tunnel with the store light came on. It was a close shave, but they were safe. Moony was still fighting Prongs fiercely trying to get back to the blood he was smelling.
It took almost the rest of the evening for Moony to regain his sense of self. And Prongs and Padfoot were exhausted from fighting him. They reached the Whomping Willow, and a exhausted group of friends parted ways. Wormtail had the least amount of excitement that night, yet he was still dragging behind Prongs and Padfoot back to the astronomy tower.
"Who were they?" Peter asked as he transformed.
"I don't know, but they almost were werewolf bait," Sirius barked.
James didn't like the encounter one bit. He knew what those cloaked figures were, he had seen them the night they attack his neighborhood. Those hooded figures were deadeaters. James stood there motionless thinking about the night events.
"I know who those people were," James suddenly said, " deadeaters."
Peter and Sirius both gave James a shocked look. Peter almost questioned how James knew, but caught himself before he did. The boys decided to get back to the dormitory, the excitement of Hogmeade would certainly cause alarm, being so close to Hogwarts. They knew the professors would be up soon.
The next morning was a hard one for the Marauders to face. Lupin was still in the shrieking shack and it would be later in the morning before he returned. James had insisted they get up early so they wouldn't draw attention to themselves. If they all slept the day away, it would be obvious they were up last night. Although it was a long shot for somebody to put two and two together, he wasn't sure who if anybody saw them last night. He felt sure Dumbledore would put two and two together if they gave him a chance to.
"Prongs, I refuse to get up," Sirius croaked as James gave him a violent push out of bed.
"I don't care, we've got to act like we weren't up all last night fighting a werewolf, plus I want to see if there is any news about what happened last night," James told him.
"You mean about the deadeaters?" Peter interjected, his excitement made James shutter, sometimes Peter was too naive about things.
Although it was the main thing on his mind when he had entered into his adventure last night, James hadn't even thought about Lily that morning. He usual waited for her in the common room, but today he forgot. He was too concerned about the previous nights encounter with the deadeaters. He couldn't explain it. Maybe it was because they had killed some of his neighbors, or maybe because he had watched them walk up and down his street, he had watched the fear in his mother's eyes as they attempted to terrorize anything they saw in there way. It was miracle James house hadn't been attacked that night before he came back to Hogwarts. He had never told anybody how scared he was, how he thought everything he knew and loved was going to be destroyed. It was something he wanted to forget, to never relive.
James was desperate for any shred of news, anything to let him know what had happened last night. He asked a fifth year girl for her copy of the Daily Profit and his fears were confirmed.
Raid at Hogmeade
A local stray notified the people of Hogmeade of a brutal attack last night. A group of deadeaters, followers of you know who, were apparently sent to terrorize the people of Hogmeade last night. A muggle born, name not yet released, was killed in the attack. Locals say a barking dog woke them last night before anymore damage was done.
James threw down the paper without reading the rest of the article. Why had Sirius caused such a scene last night. "Damn it Sirius," James swore when they got out of ear shot of the fifth year girl.
"James, I had to do something, Moony was going to attack!" Sirius defended himself.
"Do you think they'll figure out it was us?" Peter asked nervously
"I wouldn't put it past Dumbledore to figure it out," James said with concern.
"Don't be a prat James, there is no evidence leading back to us!" Sirius barked. "Stop trying to cause a panic!"
James looked at Sirius, " just because you don't take anything seriously, doesn't mean we all need to follow your stupid example!"
"If we listened to you, we'd already have been caught by now," James fussed.
"I'm not the one who visited a certain red head and risked exposing myself!" Sirius shot back
James felt heat rising in his face, "that's none of your business!"
"Damn straight it's my business! Your so concerned with Lily, you don't give a Damn about the Marauders anymore!" Sirius yelled.
"Guys," Peter tried.
"Stay out of this Wormtail," James warned.
James was now inches away from Sirius, "how dare you accuse me of putting Lily ahead of you guys."
"It's the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if she already knows about us," Sirius accused.
James was resisting the urge to hit him, "I'd never betray you guys like that."
"We all know you have different priorities right now, Prongs," Sirius said with a cruel edge.
"You son of a bitch," James swore as he rammed Sirius in the stomach with his shoulder.
The two friends were on the floor, fighting each other with all their rage. Peter ran for help, there was no way he was going to try to break this up on his own. A crowd started gathering around James and Sirius, who were littering tearing each other apart.
The two boys felt a powerful pull from behind their navel and Professor McGonagall was staring at them in disbelief.
"I'd had never have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes," she said in disbelief.
The two were still trying to fight her curse and get at each other again. A frighten Peter looked over McGonagall shoulder.
"I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF THIS WORMTAIL!" James screamed.
"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, I'm taking you straight to Professor Dumbledore," McGonagall said sternly.
She quickly muttered the counter curse and the two boys were released of their unseen restraints.
"This way," she instructed them.
Lily stood in shock. What had caused James to fight Sirius? They were the best of friends, the closest of the four Marauders. She caught a glimpse of them as they passed her. They didn't even notice her. She had never seen James eye's look so cold. Lily ran up to Peter.
"What happened?" she demanded.
"I don't' know, they just attacked each other," Peter lied.
"You don't know, why they attacked each other," Lily asked skeptically.
Peter gave her a desperate look, he was a terrible liar. "It's not my place to tell you," he finally said.
He gave Lily a friendly grin, and tried to escape. Lily was getting sick of all these Marauder secrets.
Later that day Lily found James sitting by the fire in the common room. She finally had him alone, she could finally talk to him.
"Hey," she smiled.
"Hey," he responded. It wasn't his normal warm greeting, and it caught Lily off guard.
"What was that all about this morning," she tried.
"Why are you always so nosy?" he spat at her angrily.
Lily was stunned. James had never said a harsh word to her. Even when she would say hateful thing to him, he was always civil to her.
"Excuse me?" she said when she had recomposed herself
"I'm sorry," he said quickly, "I'm just having a really bad day."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Lily offered.
James looked at her frustrated, "if I wanted you to know what was bothering me, I'd tell you okay. There are just something I can't!" he said out of thin air.
Lily patients was running thin. "I was just offering a friendly ear."
James shot her a cold look, " women," he muttered.
"James I don't know what your problem is, but you don't have to take it out on me," she spat and stormed away.
James felt his stomach give an uncomfortable lunge. He hated being so mean to her, but she was the reason he and Sirius had gotten into a fight today. She was the reason he had detention all week. Why did she have to pry into the Marauder's affair. He knew he shouldn't be angry at Lily, but he couldn't help it. He threw a piece of crumpled paper into the fire.
"Something on your mind Prongs," Remus Lupin had overheard his conversation with Lily.
James gave Remus a warning look.
"I heard you and Sirius put on quite a show this morning," Remus continued. He was still very weak looking from the previous night.
"So, what was it about?" Remus pressed.
"What do you want me to say, Sirius is a git," James spat.
Remus gave James a grin, "what did you guys get into it about?"
"Lily," James said flatly. "He said I was putting her ahead of the Marauders."
Remus gave a small laugh, "Well, your spose to!"
James gave Remus a confused look.
"Well, you love her don't you?" Remus asked.
This caught James completely off guard, he had never really thought about the idea. Yes, he had wanted Lily ever since he had first seen her. Yes, he loved spending time with her, but love her?
"Lily will understand," Remus said supportively.
James looked at Remus puzzled, " I can't tell Lily, about you."
Remus smiled, "If you don't, I will."
"It isn't just about you being a, well, you know, it's about the Marauders, it's about our animagi secret," James argued.
"No, it's about me, you guys only did what you felt you had to do as my friends. And I'm going to do what I feel like I have to do as yours," Remus told him.
"NO!" James shouted.
James felt the anger rising up in this throat, "my personal life and my life as a Marauder are separate."
James tried to stay calm, he had decided long ago that he wanted to keep Lily and his Marauders in different areas of his life. There were just some things he didn't want her to know.
Remus shook his head and gave a silent laugh, " she's to clever, she'll figure it out eventually."
James gave him a desperate look, he knew he was right.
Beth suddenly appeared at the portrait opening holding a copy of the Daily Profit, "no, no, no, no." she kept muttering.
She looked at Remus and James and cried out, " do you think their going to cancel the Hogmeade trip?"
James gave her a cold shrug. Beth turned away from the boys and began her muttering again, she apparently didn't like James response.
Remus smiled down at James, patted him on the back, and disappeared. James went back to staring at the fire. Remus words slowly sinking in, did James love Lily?
Lily was so angry and confused. Why was James being so ill with her, why was he being so cold?
"You know he has a lot on his mind right now?" Remus said from behind Lily.
"Yea, a lot he can' t tell me," she said bitterly.
Remus sat down next to her and sighed, " that' s my fault."
Lily looked at him dazed, what was he talking about.
"James doesn't want me to tell you," he started, " he says it is something, a pact between us if you will, that we cannot break."
Remus smiled at Lily, " but I think I owe it to him to tell you."
"Tell me what?" Lily asked.
Remus took a deep breath and looked Lily straight in the eyes, "I'm a werewolf, I was bitten as a small child."
Lily looked at Remus in disbelief. He continued, " the Marauders found out my secret our second year, they well, decided to break a few school rules to help me control my transformations."
Remus wished Lily would say something, anything, "they became Animagi, unregistered Animagi."
Lily smiled forcefully, "that's the big secret," she said flatly.
"Yes, James can transform into a stag, Sirius a dog and Peter a rat. Last night they were with me to help me control myself during my transformations."
Remus threw a copy of the Daily Profit at Lily who glanced as the cover story.
"Sirius," she muttered.
Remus nodded. "That is so dangerous," she warned.
"Believe me I know, James was really upset by the deadeaters last night, and Sirius accused him of betraying us and telling you our secret." Remus explained.
"You see, it is a lot of stuff piled on his shoulders at once, he's stressing out." Remus tried, "Lily, I know he really cares about you."
She didn't know what to say. It was all too much.
"You're a werewolf," she stuttered. "I'm sorry," she lowered her head.
Remus Lupin smiled, "don't be, it's nothing you did. Oh course I'll understand if you don't want to be around me anymore."
"What?" Lily said startled.
Remus smirked, "I know what people say about werewolves, that we can't be trusted."
Remember nothing is my own.
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Chapter Eleven: Problems in Paradise
Lily felt like she was a million miles away, the sun had completely faded into the darkening sky. She wanted to stay lost in James arms forever. She didn't notice all the stares coming from her fellow house members, she didn't notice the kissing motions Sirius was making from over near the couch. The only thing she knew was she was in James arms and that was all the mattered.
James was also floating somewhere between heaven and Earth, he had almost forgotten the full moon was shining right outside the window. He and Lily had been dancing for almost two whole hours, sometimes with the music, sometimes without the music.
James felt a tap on his shoulders, "may I cut in?" Sirius joked.
James was about to accuse him of trying to steal Lily when he caught Sirius's eyes and he knew why he was interrupting James pulled Lily's head up towards his, she was preparing herself for a kiss, but that isn't what she got.
"I've got to go," James whispered.
Lily shot him a dangerous look , and jumped back.
She shook her head sadly, " I guess a Marauder trick is still more important than I am."
She felt instantly bad for saying it.
"Lily, it's not a Marauder prank," James confessed.
Lily suddenly felt her urge to apologize slip away, "than what is it?" she demanded.
James lowered his head, " I can't tell you."
Lily now lowered her head, "I thought you could tell me anything."
"It's not my choice," he tried.
Lily felt her tempering flaring up, " Oh James Potter, don't you give me that load of crap."
"Lily it's the truth, it's not my call!" James argued.
"Then who's call is it, your precious Marauders?"
"YES"
Lily now had her arms flared out in front of her, "Fine!' she spat. "I hate secrets James," Lily cried.
"If you can't tell me something as silly as what you and the Marauders are planning on doing, how can I trust you?" Lily was now fighting back tears.
James now was gripping Lily around her shoulders, "Lily, I promise you it's not something stupid, and I'd tell you if it was my choice."
Lily smiled forcefully, "go." She turned away from James and walked away.
James wanted to follow her, to explain why he had to go, but he knew he couldn't tell her. It wouldn't be fair to Lupin, it was his secret, not James. He watched her walk away, it was almost like it happened in slow motion.
"Come on Prongs, it's time to go," Peter urged watching his dear friend.
Sirius, James and Peter quietly exiting the Gryffindor common room. Lily watched the portrait close behind him. She was so angry, so hurt. She knew she was being jealous, but she wanted to know what James was keeping from her. She had never kept anything from him. He knew everything about her, even her horrible sister. What was so important he'd place it above their relationship?
The night went by quickly for everybody but James, this time the three animagi and werewolf wandered the streets of Hogmeade. It was a typical Marauder adventure, with Padfoot doing his normal bouncing routine, but James couldn't get Lily off his mind. He hated leaving her so angry.
Padfoot gave a warning bark, and motioned James to come have a look. James felt his blood surge at the sight. A group of dark hooded individuals was blasting the streets of Hogmeade apart. Padfoot suddenly made a dash to make sure Moony hadn't smelled the human's blood. Prongs stared in disbelief for a moment then followed Padfoot.
When they finally reached Moony, he had a wild look in his eyes. Remus Lupin was no longer in control of this beast. Prongs tried to push Moony towards Honeydukes. They had to get Moony out of here. Yes, he was a werewolf, but he still was able to be hit by unfriendly charms and spells. Prongs kept battling and Padfoot was trying to distract the hooded figures away from Honeydukes. The hooded figures tried to blast Padfoot with a few spells, they obviously didn't like the attention he was causing.
Prongs had barely managed to get Moony into the tunnel when lights started popping on all over Hogmeade. Padfoot scooped Wormtail up in his mouth and made a mad dash for Honeydukes. He had just entered the secret tunnel with the store light came on. It was a close shave, but they were safe. Moony was still fighting Prongs fiercely trying to get back to the blood he was smelling.
It took almost the rest of the evening for Moony to regain his sense of self. And Prongs and Padfoot were exhausted from fighting him. They reached the Whomping Willow, and a exhausted group of friends parted ways. Wormtail had the least amount of excitement that night, yet he was still dragging behind Prongs and Padfoot back to the astronomy tower.
"Who were they?" Peter asked as he transformed.
"I don't know, but they almost were werewolf bait," Sirius barked.
James didn't like the encounter one bit. He knew what those cloaked figures were, he had seen them the night they attack his neighborhood. Those hooded figures were deadeaters. James stood there motionless thinking about the night events.
"I know who those people were," James suddenly said, " deadeaters."
Peter and Sirius both gave James a shocked look. Peter almost questioned how James knew, but caught himself before he did. The boys decided to get back to the dormitory, the excitement of Hogmeade would certainly cause alarm, being so close to Hogwarts. They knew the professors would be up soon.
The next morning was a hard one for the Marauders to face. Lupin was still in the shrieking shack and it would be later in the morning before he returned. James had insisted they get up early so they wouldn't draw attention to themselves. If they all slept the day away, it would be obvious they were up last night. Although it was a long shot for somebody to put two and two together, he wasn't sure who if anybody saw them last night. He felt sure Dumbledore would put two and two together if they gave him a chance to.
"Prongs, I refuse to get up," Sirius croaked as James gave him a violent push out of bed.
"I don't care, we've got to act like we weren't up all last night fighting a werewolf, plus I want to see if there is any news about what happened last night," James told him.
"You mean about the deadeaters?" Peter interjected, his excitement made James shutter, sometimes Peter was too naive about things.
Although it was the main thing on his mind when he had entered into his adventure last night, James hadn't even thought about Lily that morning. He usual waited for her in the common room, but today he forgot. He was too concerned about the previous nights encounter with the deadeaters. He couldn't explain it. Maybe it was because they had killed some of his neighbors, or maybe because he had watched them walk up and down his street, he had watched the fear in his mother's eyes as they attempted to terrorize anything they saw in there way. It was miracle James house hadn't been attacked that night before he came back to Hogwarts. He had never told anybody how scared he was, how he thought everything he knew and loved was going to be destroyed. It was something he wanted to forget, to never relive.
James was desperate for any shred of news, anything to let him know what had happened last night. He asked a fifth year girl for her copy of the Daily Profit and his fears were confirmed.
Raid at Hogmeade
A local stray notified the people of Hogmeade of a brutal attack last night. A group of deadeaters, followers of you know who, were apparently sent to terrorize the people of Hogmeade last night. A muggle born, name not yet released, was killed in the attack. Locals say a barking dog woke them last night before anymore damage was done.
James threw down the paper without reading the rest of the article. Why had Sirius caused such a scene last night. "Damn it Sirius," James swore when they got out of ear shot of the fifth year girl.
"James, I had to do something, Moony was going to attack!" Sirius defended himself.
"Do you think they'll figure out it was us?" Peter asked nervously
"I wouldn't put it past Dumbledore to figure it out," James said with concern.
"Don't be a prat James, there is no evidence leading back to us!" Sirius barked. "Stop trying to cause a panic!"
James looked at Sirius, " just because you don't take anything seriously, doesn't mean we all need to follow your stupid example!"
"If we listened to you, we'd already have been caught by now," James fussed.
"I'm not the one who visited a certain red head and risked exposing myself!" Sirius shot back
James felt heat rising in his face, "that's none of your business!"
"Damn straight it's my business! Your so concerned with Lily, you don't give a Damn about the Marauders anymore!" Sirius yelled.
"Guys," Peter tried.
"Stay out of this Wormtail," James warned.
James was now inches away from Sirius, "how dare you accuse me of putting Lily ahead of you guys."
"It's the truth, I wouldn't be surprised if she already knows about us," Sirius accused.
James was resisting the urge to hit him, "I'd never betray you guys like that."
"We all know you have different priorities right now, Prongs," Sirius said with a cruel edge.
"You son of a bitch," James swore as he rammed Sirius in the stomach with his shoulder.
The two friends were on the floor, fighting each other with all their rage. Peter ran for help, there was no way he was going to try to break this up on his own. A crowd started gathering around James and Sirius, who were littering tearing each other apart.
The two boys felt a powerful pull from behind their navel and Professor McGonagall was staring at them in disbelief.
"I'd had never have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes," she said in disbelief.
The two were still trying to fight her curse and get at each other again. A frighten Peter looked over McGonagall shoulder.
"I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF THIS WORMTAIL!" James screamed.
"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, I'm taking you straight to Professor Dumbledore," McGonagall said sternly.
She quickly muttered the counter curse and the two boys were released of their unseen restraints.
"This way," she instructed them.
Lily stood in shock. What had caused James to fight Sirius? They were the best of friends, the closest of the four Marauders. She caught a glimpse of them as they passed her. They didn't even notice her. She had never seen James eye's look so cold. Lily ran up to Peter.
"What happened?" she demanded.
"I don't' know, they just attacked each other," Peter lied.
"You don't know, why they attacked each other," Lily asked skeptically.
Peter gave her a desperate look, he was a terrible liar. "It's not my place to tell you," he finally said.
He gave Lily a friendly grin, and tried to escape. Lily was getting sick of all these Marauder secrets.
Later that day Lily found James sitting by the fire in the common room. She finally had him alone, she could finally talk to him.
"Hey," she smiled.
"Hey," he responded. It wasn't his normal warm greeting, and it caught Lily off guard.
"What was that all about this morning," she tried.
"Why are you always so nosy?" he spat at her angrily.
Lily was stunned. James had never said a harsh word to her. Even when she would say hateful thing to him, he was always civil to her.
"Excuse me?" she said when she had recomposed herself
"I'm sorry," he said quickly, "I'm just having a really bad day."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Lily offered.
James looked at her frustrated, "if I wanted you to know what was bothering me, I'd tell you okay. There are just something I can't!" he said out of thin air.
Lily patients was running thin. "I was just offering a friendly ear."
James shot her a cold look, " women," he muttered.
"James I don't know what your problem is, but you don't have to take it out on me," she spat and stormed away.
James felt his stomach give an uncomfortable lunge. He hated being so mean to her, but she was the reason he and Sirius had gotten into a fight today. She was the reason he had detention all week. Why did she have to pry into the Marauder's affair. He knew he shouldn't be angry at Lily, but he couldn't help it. He threw a piece of crumpled paper into the fire.
"Something on your mind Prongs," Remus Lupin had overheard his conversation with Lily.
James gave Remus a warning look.
"I heard you and Sirius put on quite a show this morning," Remus continued. He was still very weak looking from the previous night.
"So, what was it about?" Remus pressed.
"What do you want me to say, Sirius is a git," James spat.
Remus gave James a grin, "what did you guys get into it about?"
"Lily," James said flatly. "He said I was putting her ahead of the Marauders."
Remus gave a small laugh, "Well, your spose to!"
James gave Remus a confused look.
"Well, you love her don't you?" Remus asked.
This caught James completely off guard, he had never really thought about the idea. Yes, he had wanted Lily ever since he had first seen her. Yes, he loved spending time with her, but love her?
"Lily will understand," Remus said supportively.
James looked at Remus puzzled, " I can't tell Lily, about you."
Remus smiled, "If you don't, I will."
"It isn't just about you being a, well, you know, it's about the Marauders, it's about our animagi secret," James argued.
"No, it's about me, you guys only did what you felt you had to do as my friends. And I'm going to do what I feel like I have to do as yours," Remus told him.
"NO!" James shouted.
James felt the anger rising up in this throat, "my personal life and my life as a Marauder are separate."
James tried to stay calm, he had decided long ago that he wanted to keep Lily and his Marauders in different areas of his life. There were just some things he didn't want her to know.
Remus shook his head and gave a silent laugh, " she's to clever, she'll figure it out eventually."
James gave him a desperate look, he knew he was right.
Beth suddenly appeared at the portrait opening holding a copy of the Daily Profit, "no, no, no, no." she kept muttering.
She looked at Remus and James and cried out, " do you think their going to cancel the Hogmeade trip?"
James gave her a cold shrug. Beth turned away from the boys and began her muttering again, she apparently didn't like James response.
Remus smiled down at James, patted him on the back, and disappeared. James went back to staring at the fire. Remus words slowly sinking in, did James love Lily?
Lily was so angry and confused. Why was James being so ill with her, why was he being so cold?
"You know he has a lot on his mind right now?" Remus said from behind Lily.
"Yea, a lot he can' t tell me," she said bitterly.
Remus sat down next to her and sighed, " that' s my fault."
Lily looked at him dazed, what was he talking about.
"James doesn't want me to tell you," he started, " he says it is something, a pact between us if you will, that we cannot break."
Remus smiled at Lily, " but I think I owe it to him to tell you."
"Tell me what?" Lily asked.
Remus took a deep breath and looked Lily straight in the eyes, "I'm a werewolf, I was bitten as a small child."
Lily looked at Remus in disbelief. He continued, " the Marauders found out my secret our second year, they well, decided to break a few school rules to help me control my transformations."
Remus wished Lily would say something, anything, "they became Animagi, unregistered Animagi."
Lily smiled forcefully, "that's the big secret," she said flatly.
"Yes, James can transform into a stag, Sirius a dog and Peter a rat. Last night they were with me to help me control myself during my transformations."
Remus threw a copy of the Daily Profit at Lily who glanced as the cover story.
"Sirius," she muttered.
Remus nodded. "That is so dangerous," she warned.
"Believe me I know, James was really upset by the deadeaters last night, and Sirius accused him of betraying us and telling you our secret." Remus explained.
"You see, it is a lot of stuff piled on his shoulders at once, he's stressing out." Remus tried, "Lily, I know he really cares about you."
She didn't know what to say. It was all too much.
"You're a werewolf," she stuttered. "I'm sorry," she lowered her head.
Remus Lupin smiled, "don't be, it's nothing you did. Oh course I'll understand if you don't want to be around me anymore."
"What?" Lily said startled.
Remus smirked, "I know what people say about werewolves, that we can't be trusted."