Well here is another chapter....I'm overwhelmed with all the response I've gotten from this story..This is one of my favorite chapters....Some of you guys might be mad at me for what I'm doing to Remus, but I have a reason..

I'm basing this off what Remus said to Sirius in PoA..Remember the mistrust? This is my theory on where that mistrust might have come from..it will make more sense later....

Remember to Read and Review..and Nothing is my Own!!!

(oh on a side note..I still haven't went though and changes the deadeater to Death Eaters so I know it is still wrong..read my previous author's notes and maybe you'll understand my logic, although it doesn't make much sense.)

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Chapter fourteen: Out of Reach

Something was different with Remus Lupin. Everybody knew that something was different, but nobody could put their finger on what the change was. He rarely hung out with the Marauders any longer, he was always in the library alone, and if anybody attempted to join him, he'd disappear. The other Marauders depended on him for moral support, for guidance, and without him, they were falling apart.

Sirius had also drifting away. He was spending less and less time with James and Peter and more and more time with December. Although December swore to Lily that she wasn't dating Sirius, the two were rarely apart. They were even planning on going to Hogmeade together that weekend.

James was feeling so lost, what should have brought him closer to Lily was pulling him further away. Lily and Beth were spending more time in the library preparing for their N.E.W.Ts. James knew that he should study, but his mind wasn't in it. He couldn't get the deadeater attacks on his neighborhood and Hogmeade out of his mind. He also was feeling the loss of Regulus Black. He had known Regulus almost as long as he had know Sirius. He always believed that Regulus would see what was right and wrong in the end.

Regulus Black had been murdered the night of the deadeater attack on Hogmeade. He was found wearing a dead eaters' cloak and the dark mark burning on his arm. The news had almost driven Sirius mad, and James was thankful that December had been there for him.

"James, what is jelly wood?" Lily asked staring at her potions book.

"Huh?" James responded.

"Do you want to fail your NEWTS!" Lily snapped. She had a warm smile on her face, "you've been daydreaming all day."

"I'm sorry, it's just this whole thing with Sirius's brother dying and Remus ignoring the group..," James trailed off. He didn't want Lily to know about the anxiety he was since he had seen the deadeaters attack.

Lily looked at James with concern, "what's wrong, you can trust me."

James looked deep into Lily's eyes, those familiar eyes. How he had longed for them, how he had needed to look into them. He felt instantly better. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

"OH MY GOD!!!" Beth exclaimed. She looked around the quite library and turned red from her outburst, "I didn't mean to yell. Did you know that batwing mixed with sand silt makes your skin perfect!"

Lily and James both giggled at Beth's excitement. She had been so worried about the trip to Hogmeade and her date with Ludo Bagman that she had broken out. She had tried everything to clear up her complexion.

Lily only wished that she only had acne to worry about. The trip to Hogmeade had almost been cancelled, but Dumbledore had instead implemented a strategy to make sure all the students would be safe. The students would not be able to go as individuals, but as a group, the students had to be in the presences of a prefect or the head boy or head girl.

Lily had wanted to spend her final Hogmeade trip with James, but she knew she wouldn't be able to. The one time she really wanted to enjoy Hogmeade, and she was going to have to chaperone. James smiled over at Lily, she could tell he was upset about not being together at Hogmeade also. He placed his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She loved his touch, his smell and everything else. She knew something was bothering James, but she didn't know what it was.

The weekend was fast approaching, when Lily, James and Beth finally made there way back to the Gryffindor common room late Friday night. Inside the common room was a typical sight. Sirius and December were sitting in there normal spot. Peter was reading next to them, but they were ignoring him. And no surprise, Remus was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey guys," James said lightly as he sat on the couch next to Sirius.

"So, what's the game plan tomorrow?" Sirius asked.

James looked like he didn't want to talk about the conversation, but he responded, " I think me and Lily are meeting the prefects in the library at seven, then were going to divide all the students who are going into equal groups."

Sirius nodded like he was paying attention to James every word, but everyone in the room knew that he wasn't.

"You guys seen Remus lately?" James asked.

Sirius gave a weak no, and turned his attention towards December.

The next morning Lily and James woke up and headed to the Great Hall to meet up with the prefects. They divided the student's names into prefect groups. There was a total of 25 students per group. Because they were a few prefects shout, a couple of seventh years volunteered, including Remus Lupin.

"Hey Remus," Lily smile pleasantly, "thank-you for volunteering."

Remus smiled back. He was staring at his list of students. Lily could see something deep in his eye, she could see something was bothering him. Lily, James and Remus walked to the Hogmeade carriages. Lily would have to baby- sit a group of third years and a few fifth years. James had a better draw, slightly, he would be spending his day with Beth Simmons and try to monitor her date with Ludo Bagman. He also had a group of flirty Ravenclaw girls which included Rebecca Blair. Remus perhaps had the best draw. He would be spending they day with Sirius, December and Peter.

The students were already waiting at the carriages with the chaperones arrived. It didn't take long for the prefects, James and Lily to divide the students. This was no typical Hogmeade trip. Lily saw Beth talking excitedly with James, she was obviously talking about Ludo. She glanced over towards Remus group, Sirius had his arm around December and Peter was attempting to talk to Remus. Lily looked over at her group, she grinned at her misfortune, her last trip to Hogmeade as a Hogwarts students. She wanted to be with her friends, she wanted to be with James.

She motioned for her group to follow her, she stated the rules and they headed towards their marked carriages. The rest of the day went by slowly. She barely noticed the mindless chatter of the younger students in her care. Her highlight so far was a wave from December and Sirius. The group had spent the majority of the time in Zonks and Honeydukes. They were finally making their way to the Three Broomsticks where Lily was hoping to run into some of her fellow seventh years.

They had no sooner entered the bar when Lily felt her wish was granted. She saw Beth sitting a private table with Ludo Bagman, she knew that meant James group was here. She scanned the room in search of a certain dark haired boy. She was just about to give up when she felt a pair of warm arms wrapping around her waist.

"Having a good day?" James whispered.

"I wish," Lily sighed. "How has Beth's date been going?" Lily asked looking in that direction.

"I might be wrong, but I've heard Ludo complain about seventy times today. He even tried to bribe me into letting them slip off by themselves," James laughed.

Lily was happy to see her group scatter around the bar, "Meet at the door in one hour," she shouted.

"Have you seen Remus group?" Lily asked James.

James motioned his head towards the opposite end of the bar. Remus was sitting with Peter at the end of the bar, his eyes lead Lily in the direction of Sirius and December's table. Lily sighed, she was finally starting to understand what was wrong with Remus Lupin. Lily poked James lightly in the side, and nodded towards Remus.

"I don't know what's wrong with old Moony," James smiled.

"I think I'm starting to understand," Lily informed him.

Lily leaned up on her toes and kissed James lightly, " I'll be back."

She walked over towards the Remus and Peter.

"Hey Peter, James wanted a word with you," Lily lied.

Peter smiled and walked over towards a puzzled looking James.

"Hi Remus, how's it going?" Lily tried.

Remus shrugged.

Lily looked over at December and Sirius, "you know, their not going out."

Remus looked sharply at Lily and smiled, "your too clever for your own good."

"Not over her, huh?" Lily pushed.

"It's not like that," Remus lowered his head.

"She's to smart to fall for Sirius's old tricks, if your worried about her getting hurt," Lily tried.

Remus looked up, his cold misty eyes meeting Lily's. For the first time, she felt like she was truly seeing Remus Lupin, "I'm a werewolf," he said. " Do you honestly think December could ever love something like me?"

Lily felt her breath fall short, " it's not your fault."

Remus shook his head, " there are just somethings I can never have." He looked longingly over towards December.

" I never really got over her," he confessed.

"Does Sirius know this?" Lily asked.

"I don't know, it doesn't matter," Remus sighed.

"It does matter," Lily demanded.

Remus motioned over toward December, " A girl like her would never understand a creature like me, she deserves more, she deserves better."

"I just never wanted to see her with one of my best friends," Remus finished.

Lily gave Remus a sympatric hug, "you have to tell her."

Remus shook his head, " no, she's with Sirius now, she's out of my reach."

Lily knew that Remus was right. Sirius was very prideful and would take great offense to Remus trying to steal his girl.

Lily finally asked the one question Remus never wanted to answer, "Do you love her?"

Remus turned to Lily, "she is and will always be the love of my life."

Lily wanted to cry, she had never heard something so sincere in her entire life.

December was now staring over at Lily. She wasn't sure how to read Lily's reactions. She knew Remus was confessing something to Lily, but she could never imagine what it was. She looked back over to Sirius and smiled at his dazed looking face. She had always cared deeply for Remus Lupin, he was the only boy she had really every cared about, but Sirius Black was getting to her. His dark hair and his mysterious eyes. She was so happy spending time with him. What was happening to her.

December felt Sirius grab her hand and kiss it gently. She smiled sweetly at him.

"What are we doing?" Sirius asked.

"What do you mean," December teased.

"Well, we've been seeing each other almost all year now," he started.

"Sirius Black, are you asking me to be your girlfriend," she joked.

"Actual, I am," he confessed.

December placed her hands over her mouth in surprise, "oh my god, I'm speechless."

Sirius grabbed her suddenly and kissed her. Remus finally turned his heads, and Lily saw the tears in his eyes. From that moment on, the Marauders would never be the same. James and Peter suddenly appeared at Lily's side.

"What are you two over her chatting about," James joked.

"Nothing," Remus said suddenly, giving Lily a begging look. He knew she wouldn't tell.

"I don't think Beth's date is going very well," Peter interjected.

They looked over at Beth and Ludo. He was now throwing his arms madly in the air, obviously telling about one of his exciting quidditch adventures. The yawn on Beth's face told them that see wasn't too impressed.

"He was never very good at conversation," James joked.

The group forced a laugh.

A young Ravenclaw walked by Lily with a sadistic smile spread across her face.

"Something funny Rita?" Lily said coldly. She still hadn't forgiven her for that article in the Hogwarts Daily.

"Actually, my new scoop that will be in my paper tomorrow," Rita Skeeter smirked.

Lily felt chills run down her spine, she didn't like the sound of that.