Frodo leaves for the Grey Havens: Sam and Rosie must learn to live with their memories. No slash/no violence.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the Master, JRRTolkien. I borrow them only to love them and promise to give them back.
A/N The quote is taken from The Grey Haves, The Fellowship of the Ring.
To Kay and Puxinette, many thanks for your kind and encouraging reviews. I dedicate this chapter to you.
A Longer Road.
Chapter 3
As dusk fell the two riders came to a road that ran from East to West along the top of a rise. They could see the road disappearing into ancient forest groves in each direction.
"We will stop here Sam, for this is where I hope to meet up with the elves".
"We have been here before, if I'm not mistaken" said Sam, though in all his recent travels around the Shire he had not been here recently as far as he could recollect.
"Yes Sam, it was near here that we encountered the Black Rider for the first time" said Frodo looking around apprehensively, as if expecting another of the fell riders to burst through the trees.
"Perhaps we should move on a bit further, Sir".
"No, it's alright Sam; those phantoms cannot hurt us now." said Frodo with a shudder
They sat down in the shelter of the trees. Sam produced a cold supper of bread, cheese and apples from his pack and they washed it down with a mug of cider. Frodo sat, his gaze lost in the middle distance. Sam lay back with his head cushioned on his hands, watching as the first stars appeared in the fading light.
"Sam, are you happy?"
"What a strange question Mr Frodo, you know I love spending time outdoors, and with you here beside me I couldn't be happier". Sam looked across puzzled by strained note in Frodo's voice.
Frodo flashed a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "That's not what I meant Sam. Are you happy with Rosie and Elanor and your life at Bag End?"
"Of course I'm happy! When we all got home safely and I realised that Rosie had waited, never giving up hope of our return, well, I thought I would burst with happiness. Of course it was a great shock to come home and find the Shire in such a mess, just when I thought all our troubles were over. But it was soon set to rights and soon, well, the scars will fade and the sleepy inhabitants of the Shire will settle back into their comfortable ways and pretend that it never happened. Not that I intend to let them forget, even if I have to bang the stories into their heads with my shovel!" Sam paused a while before continuing "Happy, oh yes Sir, I'm happy and now I'm the father of the most beautiful lass in the Shire, what more could I ask for?"
"You deserve every drop of happiness Sam Gamgee, never lose sight of it, for it is very precious!" said Frodo wistfully
.
They both began to doze as they sat and watched the evening stars brighten in the deepening blue of the night sky. It was as though the very stars were singing a fair tune to welcome the night. Sam looked west along the road hoping to catch a first glimpse of the Elves. The singing grew louder, but it was not in the west that the faint glow of lanterns appeared. They approached from the east, and as they got nearer it became obvious that it was a large party.
Frodo and Sam rose to their feet and bowed in welcome. Gildor led the party, and amongst the host they saw Lord Elrond and the Lady Galadriel riding either side of small pony who carried a familiar figure.
"Why bless me it's Mr Bilbo!" exclaimed Sam.
"Then Bilbo woke up and opened his eyes. "Hullo, Frodo!" he said. "Well I have passed the Old Took today! So that's settled. And now I think I am quite ready to go on another journey. Are you coming?"
"Yes, I am coming," said Frodo. "The Ring-bearers should go together".
Sam sat down, his legs no longer able to support him, realisation suddenly dawning. It took a few moments for the full impact of Frodo's words to sink in. He felt as if his world had suddenly collapsed
"You're going, you're leaving and I am not to go with you!" he whispered, grief and pain overwhelming him. He felt sick; he could hear his heart beat pounding in his ears
"I'm so sorry Sam," whispered Frodo "I wanted to tell you, to warn you, but …I just couldn't…..please forgive me" he pleaded.
Sam looked around at the gathered host, trying to detect anything that could bring him hope. Finally he looked to Lord Elrond and then Galadriel, he saw the sadness and compassion in their eyes and knew that all hope was in vain. He turned back to Frodo and grabbed the front of his cloak. Frodo put a hand out to touch him; to make contact, to do something to ease the pain in Sam's eyes, but Sam pulled away.
"Sorry! You should have told me. After everything that we've been through…. you should have told me" He shouted. Turning on his heals he pushed passed the assembled crowd. "In all the time I've known you, I've never before known you to be cruel,……. how could you do this to me?" he staggered forward and brushing off the hands that tried to stay him, he blundered into the shelter of the trees.
"Sam…Please…" begged Frodo, but his words went unheeded
Lord Elrond looked about and saw that Frodo was on the point of collapse. He steadied the trembling Hobbit and, lifting him, handed him to one of the Elves, where he lay silent and broken. Lord Elrond announced that they would travel no further that night. They made camp and while Galadriel attended to Frodo he dispatched Gildor to find and care for Sam.
******
Sam blundered, unheeding, into the trees. The darkness of night now complete. He moved forward, wanting only to put some distance between himself and the travellers. He could scarcely breathe for the pain in his chest, his sight blinded by the tears that poured down his face. He slammed his fist repeatedly against a tree, needing a physical pain to mask the pain in his heart. In the darkness his foot caught on a tree root; he stumbled and lay gasping for breath, his hands clutching at the forest floor. As the pain and grief overwhelmed him he let out a howl of anguish that rang through the silent forest. He was racked with sobs that tore at him until he retched.
Deaf and blind to his surroundings he didn't hear the Elf approach. He was suddenly aware of an arm supporting him across his chest, he wanted to pull away but he had neither the strength nor the will to resist the firm but gentle embrace. He looked up at the Elf who supported him but the fair being never spoke; he murmured a soft gentle melody and rocked Sam against him as though he were a child. Sam felt the tension flow out of him and he turned his face against the chest of his comforter as his tears flowed.
Sam had no way of telling how much time had passed when his tears finally ceased. He pulled away from the Elf and rose to his feet, finally recognising Gildor.
"The last time we met in these woods you cared for us and offered us your protection…. It was one of the most special memories I had of our travels…. my first encounter with Elves…yet our dealings with Elves seem to bring nothing but pain…!" his words weren't an accusation , just an expression of lost hopes.
"How can I answer that when your grief and pain are so clear, and yet we share in your sadness even though we cannot prevent it?" said the Elf gently. "Come Sam, for you are cold and weary, let us go and find warmth and comfort while we can".
"Warmth maybe, but I can see no comfort that will bring me ease," said Sam as he allowed Gildor to lead him back through the trees.
As they reached the encampment Gildor guided Sam to one of the smaller fires. He sat him down and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. He fetched a hot drink and a plate of food. Sam took a long drink but left the food untouched; he shuddered as the warmth settled in his belly. He gazed into the fire, as he had done so many times on the long dark nights of the quest, trying to find courage and hope within its depths, but now it brought only memories of pain and struggle.
"He never meant to hurt you!" Sam was pulled from his reverie by the gentle but insistent tones of Lord Elrond.
"Then why didn't he tell me"?
"Because he was afraid that if you asked him to stay his resolve would falter. He loves you Sam, but he knew that leaving was the only chance he had to find peace and healing. He is going so that he may release you from the burden of his distress…How much longer do you thing he would last if he remained in the Shire?"
"I never asked to be released…he was never a burden… Oh, I could see he was failing: getting thinner and weaker with each passing month, but I promised to look after him and to never leave him…and now he is leaving me!"
"He will never leave you Sam, for he will always be in your heart: a love as strong as yours doesn't just fade away, it strengthens as the bad memories fade and the joyful ones remain to shine forever". Sam wiped his sleeve across his face. He swallowed down the tears that threatened to fall.
"What must I do?" he asked quietly.
"You must be brave, for Frodo needs you to be strong for him. However hard this parting is for you, it is far more painful for him. He is leaving behind all that he holds dear; his home, his family, his friends and all of the hopes and dreams that he had for his future. Be strong for him now, for your anguish can only cause him more distress. You kept him going through the darkest hours of your journey. It was your love that helped him to endure when no other help was at hand. I know that your grief is raw and your heart is breaking…be strong for him for a few days more, care for him as you have always done." Lord Elrond turned, and clasping Sams hands within his own, he continued "I give you my solemn vow; that when you give him into my care he will receive all that my kin and I can give to aid his recovery and his search for peace and happiness".
"He told me long ago that I too could take a ship to the West," declared Sam with a piercing gaze rarely seen on his normally tranquil countenance. "If I decide to take that road I will hold you to that vow and call you to account. My judgement will be harsh if I find you wanting!"
"I will not fail you".