"You're sure you guys can't just, I don't know, talk it out?" Addison asked as she sat across from Callie on her couch.
"What's there to talk about? I want kids, she doesn't. End of story," Callie said, defeated.
Addison thought to say something, but couldn't figure out what to say. But she didn't get much of a chance to say anything because Nate's cries started coming through the baby monitor. Derek wasn't home from work yet, so both women got up to check on the baby. When they got to Nate's nursery, Addison scooped the squirmy baby into her arms, and a minute or two later, he settled.
"Look, who's that? Is that Auntie Callie?" Addison cooed at Nate and turned him to face Callie.
"You're such a big boy now, aren't you?" Callie cooed as Addison hands Nate over to her.
"I heard you said your first word, Nate. Can you say, Mama?" Callie enunciated her words, encouraging Nate to talk back. Unfortunately, he didn't say Mama back. But he did babble a few nonsensical words.
"So close," Callie joked as she and Addison chuckled.
"So, you and Arizona are really over?" Addison asked, grabbing a rattle for Nate to play with.
"Yup," Callie said cheerfully.
"Well, aren't you chipper?" Addison noticed her change in tone.
"I've decided I'm not going to cry about it. Anymore," Callie stated as she sat in the rocking chair and adjusted Nate in her arms so he could sit on her lap.
"It's been two days," Addison pointed out, putting the rattle in Nate's hands.
"I want a baby. She doesn't. And I don't want to waste any more time. I mean, you did it," Callie said.
"Yeah, well, I got lucky," Addison smiled at Nate, who was busying himself with a rattle.
"Plus, I got Derek back. And there's nothing wrong with crying over a breakup," Addison added.
"I know. But I want a baby. And I think seeing you, Derek, Nate, and even Pete and Lucas, just makes me want one more," Callie said.
Addison nodded, knowing how she felt. Derek and Addison talked about having kids pretty early on in their relationship. They both wanted kids one day, but somewhere along the way, they forgot. Or they became distracted by their growing careers into what it was today. Then, it suddenly felt like their marriage came crashing down in a matter of a few years. At some point, Addison realized she felt lonelier in her marriage than she ever had when she was single. And she sought comfort in her husband's best friend.
She fought to get Derek back, and it took a lot of work. They both cheated and made their fair share of mistakes. But after Addison found Meredith's panties in Derek's pocket, she thought it was over. After what happened with Mark, she thought she deserved it. But more than that, she wished she and Derek had a child. Maybe it was selfish or unfair, but having a child with Derek would keep her tethered to him forever. And it was all she wanted. Even in the face of his affair.
When Derek came back to the trailer the morning after, Addison felt finished. Her marriage was over; her husband in love with another woman. But when she saw the look on his face, the sadness in his eyes, she saw a glimmer of hope. For both of them. And while she didn't think bringing a baby into the picture was something that would automatically or immediately fix things, she knew that it was all she wanted. And she was relieved and ecstatic when she discovered Derek wanted the same.
She couldn't imagine what it would've been like if he didn't want a baby. Let alone one with her. So, even though she liked Arizona, Addison understood where Callie was coming from. And if Callie still wanted a baby, she wanted to help. If Arizona came back or Callie found someone else, Addison would support her. Or if Callie decided to do it all on her one, Addison would be there for her to lean on.
"I think it might be time for you to talk to Naomi then," Addison commented. Callie smiled back.
"Talk to Naomi for what?" Derek asked as he peeked in from the door frame.
Addison looked at Callie as she held Nate. She didn't want to tell Derek if this was something Callie wanted to keep private. As Derek waited, watching both women exchange looks, he gave Nate a playful wave, to which Nate smiled back at him.
"I want a baby," Callie finally said.
If she really wanted to do this, Addison was right; she'd have to go see Naomi. And once she did that, this secret, which wasn't even really a secret, wouldn't be a secret anymore.
"Congrats," Derek finally said in a questionable tone, not knowing what else he could say. Callie gave him a shy smile back as he stepped up to get Nate from her arms.
"Thanks. I just…I don't want to stay in a relationship if she doesn't want the same things, you know?" Callie rambled. Addison gently rubbed her shoulder.
"And, you know, maybe it's for the best. I mean, better to figure this out now and find someone who does want the picket-fence-and-kids thing. Right?," Callie continued, her voice starting to waiver.
"You'll find her. Or him," Addison said calmly.
"Thanks. But, you know, maybe I don't need a partner to have a baby," Callie thought out loud.
"I can just have the baby part. And whoever I'm with next will just have to deal with it," Callie said.
"You still have time, Callie. I mean, you're not me," Addison joked.
For a while, her fertility problems were something she was ashamed of. And something she worried about constantly. But now she had Nate. They had Nate. And having him was enough to keep her problems at bay.
"I know. But I want a baby. And I don't know if I want to wait anymore," Callie admitted.
"Bah bah," Nate babbled, turning his head to look around the room. The three of them laughed as Derek bounced him gently in his arms.
"That's right! Your Auntie Callie wants a baby. Like you!" Callie cooed, getting closer to Nate's face.
Over the next week, Callie came to the practice to see Naomi, just to get everything checked out. She wasn't completely sure if she wanted to have a baby just yet, but she knew she at least wanted to know if she could have one. And she was relieved to hear she could have a baby, and that she still had a few more years before it'd start to get harder for her to get pregnant.
Soon, Callie's sad mood changed. She wasn't chipper, but she was just less sad. Callie decided that even though she did have a few more years to get pregnant, she didn't want to wait. And Arizona definitely took notice of Callie's mood change. She just didn't know why. And now that they were broken up, she didn't feel like she had the right to ask her about it. Instead of asking her about it, Arizona found herself outside Oceanside Wellness, going up the elevator. Once she got upstairs, Dell greeted her, asking her for her name.
"Arizona. I mean, Dr. Robbins. From St. Ambrose. I'm here to see Dr. Montgomery?" Arizona said. She tried to sound convincing, hoping this receptionist would believe her.
"Is she expecting you?" Dell didn't have much of a reason not to believe her. But something felt off.
"Um…no. I just…wanted a consult. If she'd be willing to see me," Arizona came up with an excuse on the spot. And one that actually made some sense.
"Oh, okay. Let me see if she's available. Wait here," Dell got up and headed towards Addison's office.
He knew she wasn't with a patient, but he also didn't know if she'd be willing to consult on a mystery case out of the blue. When he cracked the door open, he found Addison doing paperwork at her desk.
"Hey, there's a Dr. Robbins here to see you? She said she was here for a consult?" Dell still questioned this woman's intentions, but he was still curious enough to ask Addison about it.
"Arizona's here?" Addison pulled her glasses off her face and got up. What was she doing here?
"You know her?" Dell asked. He didn't get any indication that she knew Addison.
"Yeah. She's…Callie's ex," Addison informed him as she walked back toward the front desk.
"Addison," Arizona greeted her.
"Arizona. What uh…what are you doing here?" Addison asked.
"Didn't you say you were here for a consult?" Dell interrupted them.
"Right," Arizona said, grateful for the receptionist answering Addison's question.
But Addison could tell she wasn't really here for a consult. It wouldn't be completely unreasonable for Arizona to come to her for a medical consult. Their specialties were relatively similar and had plenty of overlap. And they'd worked together on occasion before. But Addison had a feeling that whatever she was here for, it had something to do with Callie.
"Why don't we…head back to my office?" Addison asked.
Arizona nodded and followed Addison back. They didn't talk on the way there, and Addison let Arizona in first before closing her office door. After she did, Arizona stood awkwardly, looking around Addison's office. There was paperwork and some reading glasses on her desk, her medical license displayed on the wall, and a framed photo of Derek, Addison, and Nate that Arizona figured was taken recently.
"So…," Addison started as she moved to go back behind her desk.
"Tell me why you're really here," Addison continued, leaning against the hutch behind her desk.
"I know you're Callie's friend, so you're on her side," Arizona started, talking quickly as she let herself speak honestly.
"I'm not on anyone's side," Addison interrupted.
"Well, anyway, I just…I thought we were more," Arizona said.
"More than what?" Addison asked, confused.
"More than…two weeks of being sad and moping around before completely moving on and being all cheery," Arizona struggled to find the right words. And she realized how ridiculous she sounded, but she was too upset right now to think straight.
"I'm the cheery one. Or I was the cheery one," Arizona muttered.
"She's not…cheery," Addison said.
"Yes, she is! And you know it," Arizona could tell Addison was just trying to make her feel better.
"I mean, what does she expect? For me to just change my mind about kids overnight?" Arizona asked. Addison wasn't sure if she should answer her.
"I don't want kids. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love kids, but it doesn't mean I want them," Arizona added.
"Well, Callie does want kids. And I don't think it's something she's willing to compromise on," Addison said honestly.
"Not that there's anything wrong with not wanting kids," Addison added quickly.
"I know," Arizona sounded defeated.
"I'm sorry. I…I shouldn't have come here," Arizona finally said after a moment of silence.
No, it's okay. I'm glad you did," Addison said.
"You are?" Arizona asked.
"Yeah. I mean, Callie's told me so much about you. And we are friends, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends too," Addison gave her a small smile.
"Really? You wanna be friends?" Arizona asked.
"Yeah, I'd like that," Addison said. Arizona smiled back, but Addison could see the hurt still in her eyes.
"So, we'll be friends," Arizona smiled.
"As your friend, there's something you should know," Addison started, straightening her posture. Arizona looked back curiously.
"Callie went to Naomi to get checked out. And she's going to look into sperm donors soon," Addison said.
"Oh," Arizona felt defeated but tried her best not to show it.
"She hasn't started anything yet. But…I thought you should know. You know, in case you do want to fight for her," Addison added. Addison knew this wasn't a small issue, but she knew that they loved each other. And if there was a chance that they could work it out, she wanted them to.
Arizona didn't know how to respond, so she nodded, appreciative that Addison let her know. She didn't know if she wanted to fight for her and Callie's relationship. Or if she should. Callie wanted to be a mother and have a baby. And she didn't. Arizona knew she still loved her, but maybe it wasn't fair to try to get her back if she didn't want the same things. Maybe it wasn't fair for her to ask Callie to give something like this up for her. Arizona started thinking about her stance on kids. Was it something she felt that strongly about?
She decided years ago that she didn't want kids. After working as a pediatric surgeon for years now, she'd met crazy parent after crazy parent, making her feel even more secure about her decision. She didn't even blame them for being crazy; kids weren't for the faint of heart. She used to say that being in peds is nothing but hardcore. And people, of course, didn't believe her. But working with kids day in and day out, working on smaller bodies, and having to face their parents was hardcore. But was she willing to change her mind about having kids if it meant having the person she loved? Right now, she wasn't entirely sure.
"What are we looking at?" Derek asked Pete, Cooper and Sam a few days later as they stood in the hallway. He held a brown bag with his and Addison's lunch inside in one hand and pushed a stroller with Nate inside it with his other hand.
"There's some kind of bulletin board in there," Cooper commented, pointing at the board in Addison's office.
"So?" Derek asked.
"She's got all the women in there. And Callie," Sam added.
"You think they're talking about us?" Pete asked nonchalantly, taking a bite from his apple.
Sam and Cooper shrugged. Derek looked at the guys curiously. Watching the women all talk in Addison's office from out here felt ridiculous.
"What's goin' on out here, fellas?" Sheldon asked as he went over to stand next to Pete.
"That's what we're trying to figure out," Sam replied.
"Well, did you try asking?" Sheldon asked.
The other men all turned to look at him like he was crazy. Well, Derek looked at him more in curiosity. Then they looked among themselves, realizing they had an opportunity to get Sheldon to ask the girls for them. He'd been working here for a while now, but they didn't know him nearly as well as they knew each other. And he didn't seem to have a problem confronting the girls.
"Can you ask?" Cooper asked. Derek chuckled at the guys' inability to go in there to ask themselves.
"Why me?" Sheldon asked, chuckling. All Sheldon could think was, were these men really that immature?
"Because I asked politely?" Cooper asked after realizing there wasn't any good reason to ask Sheldon other than the fact that he and the other guys didn't want to.
Sheldon shook his head and chuckled. These so-called other men were so immature, but since he didn't have a problem with talking to the women, he obliged. Derek followed him in so he and Nate could visit Addison for lunch.
"Hey ladies," Sheldon greeted when he walked in. He turned around to see men's pictures pinned to the board, with a few sheets of paper pinned underneath it.
"What are you doing here?" Addison exclaimed upon seeing Derek as well as Nate in his stroller. She went in for a quick kiss before leaning down to get Nate out of his stroller. The women, specifically Callie and Naomi, came closer to coo with the baby.
"Lunch," Derek raised his other arm to show her the brown paper bag. As Addison held their son, Derek pushed the stroller closer towards her desk and put the bag down on the table.
"What are you doing?" Sheldon asked, after inspecting the papers closer. Name, date of birth, genetic markers, hobbies.
"Choosing sperm," Callie said bluntly. Derek raised an eyebrow at Addison, hoping she'd provide him with some kind of answer. She just chuckled back as she held Nate closer, kissing his forehead.
"Okay…," Sheldon said awkwardly.
"I like the historian," Addison mused.
"History's boring," Callie commented. Derek couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
"I liked history," Addison defended herself as Nate started playing with her hair.
"You understand that the baby isn't necessarily going to be a historian?" Sheldon asked.
"Yeah, but he has good genes," Addison pointed out. Derek walked closer to the board to look at Callie's options.
"I still like the musician," Violet said.
"Me too," Naomi agreed, nodding her head.
"What about the teacher? He looks nice," Derek asked.
"Eh," Callie didn't seem too convinced choosing the teacher sperm donor.
"I like the pro athlete," Amelia mused.
"Yeah, but if she has a boy, the increased testosterone could be a lot for her to handle on her own. What if he becomes a football player? I mean, broken bones, concussions…," Charlotte commented.
"She's an orthopedic surgeon! She loves broken bones," Amelia pointed out.
"She has a point," Naomi muttered. Callie smiled, confirming that she does, indeed, love broken bones.
"Okay, then. Which one do you like?" Callie asked Charlotte, wanting her opinion.
"I vote Ph.D.," Charlotte said after thinking about it for a minute.
"I second that," Sheldon commented.
"But I might just be shining a light on my own narcissism," Sheldon added.
Callie and Charlotte laughed while Addison, Violet, and Naomi weren't sure if he was joking. Sheldon's humor tended to run dry, and he could be joking, but he could also be completely serious.
"Alright, I need another opinion," Callie sighed and opened the office door.
"Hey, get in here. All of you," Callie motioned over to the rest of the guys standing in the kitchen.
"I need sperm," Callie said after all the guys came into Addison's office.
The guys looked at each other curiously.
"Not from one of you," Naomi insisted as all the girls, plus Sheldon, chuckled.
"You wish," Amelia joked.
"Filter!" Naomi and Violet scolded her gently while also chuckling. Amelia jokingly put her hands up in defense and laughed along.
The men took a closer look at the profiles, thinking carefully.
"I like the historian," Cooper commented. Addison looked over and smiled at him.
"That's what I said!" Addison exclaimed. Derek laughed at Addison's excitement.
"History's cool," Cooper commented, excited that someone else agreed with him.
"Since when?" Pete mocked him. Cooper glared back.
"Plus, the guy's Greek, and they have good genes. They never tan, the Greeks," Cooper added.
"So, in addition to the other genetic markers, now I have to think about levels of testosterone and melanin in his skin?" Callie asked no one in particular.
"I vote activist," Pete commented.
"No surprise there," Amelia muttered.
"Well, this has been…less than helpful," Callie commented.
"Look, it doesn't even matter that much who you choose. Whoever it is, you are going to love that baby more than anything, And, at the end of the day, it's not going to matter what sperm you chose," Naomi said.
"Yeah, I mean, Nate's part Mark Sloan. And Nate's perfect," Derek's lips curled upwards when he said his name. Nate stared back blankly at his Aunt Callie, who gave him a quick smile.
"I know. You're right. I guess I just need to…pick one," Callie said.
In all honesty, Derek's comment about Nate gave Callie an idea. One that she knew was crazy, but one she couldn't shake. Maybe part of it was the hormones she'd been taking recently. And another part was how much she obviously adored Nate, and how deliriously happy Derek and Addison were. She wanted that, what they had. And she wanted her own version of Nate.
"Sloan!" Callie called out when she got back to St. Ambrose later that evening.
"Torres!" Mark turned around to greet her from afar.
"I need your sperm," Callie said bluntly. Mark looked back, amused.
"I thought you were into women," Mark said seductively.
"I'm into both," Callie corrected him. Mark's smile widened until he snapped himself out of it.
"Wait, no. You see, normally, I'd be all for it. But I have a girlfriend now, which makes me a boyfriend. And being a good boyfriend means not cheating on your girlfriend with hot ortho docs," Mark explained, talking himself out of sleeping with Callie.
"Save me the lecture, Mark. I know you have Lexie, and I'm not into you like that, anyway. I never said anything about us having sex," Callie started.
"Then why'd you ask for my sperm?" Mark asked, confused.
"I want a baby," Callie said bluntly.
"With…me?" Mark asked.
"Yes. With you. Little Sloan's great. And Nate's perfect. So…yes, I want a baby with you," Callie said.
"Isn't it enough I already have a kid? And a grandkid?" Mark asked. As much as he loved Sloan, he never asked for a teenage daughter.
"Why should I be your sperm donor?" Mark asked. Honestly, he loved Sloan and even Nate. But he didn't see why he should have another kid.
"Because. Don't you feel like you missed out with Sloan? I mean, you only just met her less than a year ago. And she's already a teenager! With this baby, you'll get to see her, or him, take their first steps, and say 'Dada' for the first time…Don't you want that?" Callie asked, her mind still picturing a mini version of herself.
Mark thought to say something, but he didn't quite know what to say. Callie was right; he did feel like he missed out with Sloan. He missed out on all her firsts, and he wished he could go back and do it over again. Though, he was also sure his 25-year-old self would've run if he'd known about Sloan back then. But now, it was all he wanted. And he and Callie had become pretty close recently. Other than Derek and Addison, he considered Callie to be one of his best friends. Why not have a baby with your best friend?
"I'm in," Mark said.
"Really?" Callie asked with hope in her voice.
"Really," Mark confirmed.
Now, they both couldn't help but think of a mini version of both of them.
A/N: The scene of all the doctors looking over all the sperm candidates is a version of Addison doing the same in Private Practice 5x06. Except this time, it's Callie trying to choose sperm and everyone else at the practice weighs in, with Amelia, Naomi, Charlotte, and Derek joining in this time. As for Callie and Arizona, I knew I wanted the baby conversation to come up and for them to break up from it. But if it makes you feel better, I don't intend to keep them broken up for too long.
Other references include the "let's be friends" conversation between Arizona and Addison, which is inspired by a conversation between Addison and Violet from Private Practice 5x13. And the nickname Callie uses for Sloan, "Little Sloan", is inspired by Lexie being "Little Grey" in Grey's Anatomy. Also, I didn't have time to get through it in this chapter, but this baby with Mark will also affect Mark and Lexie's relationship as well as Mark and Sloan's. And I really didn't want to make up another baby for Callie, so I needed a way for Sofia to exist without having Callie and Mark sleep together (lol).
Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm sorry it's been a while since I've updated. I hope I won't make you guys wait too long before updating again!