A/N: Yeaaaaayyyy!!! Orginally (meaning, what I was going to do until
luvly people convinced me not to), I wasn't going to make a 4th chapter
for this because I had so many other stories to work on, and, I didn't
have a plot idea for this one. BUT! Yes, but. I think I have a few to contend
with. So! You all got your wish. Thank you, faithful reviewers, such as
you, um, well, thanks to all of you!!!! I love you all!!! (throws roses
onto the stage) Mwah mwah! Hey, does anyone ever read my author notes anywayz?!?!?!?
Are these just here!?!?!? Gasp. How dare ye.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kodocha/Kodomo no Omocha. My God, someday I
am going to put a ban on disclaimers. Hmmm, but then I'd get arrested.
Aiyah, so many consequences...
A Typico Fight Between You-Know-Whos, Chapter 4
Sana: Hey everyone! Guess what Fuka just entered...and won?
Fuka: Yeah!
Tsuyoshi: Oh? Tell us!
Akito: *snort* I don't really care...
Sana: [hits him on the head with the mallet] Shut up, Akito! Stop being
mean to your ex-girlfriend!
Akito: Don't tell me what to do!
Sana: [pulls out a rope] Make me.
Akito: I have a laser stick!
Sana: I have...um...what do I have besides a mallet, anyway?
Aya: You have a naked mole rat.
Rufus: Hello hello hello!
Kim+Ron: RUFUS!!! Get back here!!!
Rufus: Awwwww...
[Rufus jumps into a hole.]
Sana: Ummm...what was that?
Akito: That was Rufus, the naked mole rat, you idiot.
Sana: Don't call me an idiot, idiot! .... Hey, how do you know that,
anyway?
Akito: Umm....it was on tv.
Tsuyoshi: Akito, we don't get American television in Japan.
Akito: Then why are we speaking English?
All: ........
ladyxkodomo: You're making this all too complicated!! Stick with the
script, you morons!!!!
All: Yes mistress ladyx.
ladyxkodomo: 'S what I thought.
[ladyxkodomo runs out of the picture.]
Akito: So. What did Fuka win?
Fuka: Yeah! Finally someone notices again!!!
Sana: So, everyone....Fuka won...
Fuka: An all-expenses-paid trip...to...
Sana: A FISH MARKET!!!!
Tsuyoshi: Eh?
Fuka: ONSEN!!!
[Onsen in Japanese means hot springs.]
All: [except Akito] YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!
Akito: There's no chance this is like, un segregreated baths is it?
Fuka: No way. Do you think I would take ya'll to a unisex onsen? I
don't think so.
Akito: Not even a little chance?
Sana: No, you pervert! [hits him on the head with mallet]
Fuka: I also heard that this onsen has a deluxe sushi bar, Aki.
Akito: Su....sushi??!?! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, LET'S GO!!!
[Akito grabs everyone and flies to the onsen.]
Sana: I think Akito loves sushi more than me.
Fuka: I wonder what Aki would do if he saw you makin' sushi?
Sana: He'd go crazy. He'd start drooling, and then he'd probably try
and do it with me like he did in book 10, except he'd be stuffing his face
with sushi...
Fuka: Eeeew, gross!
Tsuyoshi: AKITO!!! YOU CAN'T FLY!!
Akito: I can now!
[Akito lands at the onsen.]
Akito: WHERE'S THE SUSHI BAR?!?!?
Sana: Wow! We're actually at the onsen!
Fuka: The sushi bar is over there---
[Akito flies to the sushi bar.]
Person: Welcome to the Tohoku Mountain Onsens. Women's baths are on
the right, and men's baths are on the left. Outdoor baths for both sexes
are located in the back.
Aya: And this is with bathing suits, right?
Person: [evil grin] Well. Only if you want to.
[Person walks away.]
Fuka: Whuss dat supposed to mean?!?
Sana: I got no idea...
[AT THE SUSHI BAR]
Akito: Uh, I'll have some of this and that and those and oh those too
and this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and
oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and
those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and
that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too
this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh
those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those
and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that
and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this
and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those
too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and
oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and
those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and
that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too
this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh
those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those
and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that
and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this
and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those
too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and
oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and
those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and
that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too
this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh
those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those
and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that
and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this
and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those
too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and
oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and
those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and
that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too
this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh
those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those
and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that
and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this
and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those
too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and
oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and
those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and
that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too
this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh
those too, and some wasabi, please.
Sushi person: ......can you repeat that please?
Akito: I'll have...
[AT THE OUTDOOR BATHS]
[Don't worry, they're all wearing bathing suits.]
Fuka: Aaaah, this feels so nice.
Sana: [dips under the water]
Aya: Hey, Sana fell asleep!
Tsuyoshi: Or maybe she's just avoiding her fans?
Sana: zzzzz.... [pops back up]
Aya: Hey, she's back!
Sana: zzzz....[dips back down]
Japanese woman: HEY! SANA KURATA JUST DROWNED!!
Everyone else [except for the group]: OH MY GOD!!! SOMEONE CALL 119!!!
[Japanese equivalent to 911. I think.]
Fuka: SHE DID NOT DROWN, YOU FANATICS! SHUT UP AND PRETEND YOU NEVER
SAW SANA KURATA!!!!
[Everyone goes back to what they were doing before.]
Sana: zzz...[pops back up] Mmm, that felt so nice. Did anything happen?
All: No, no, Sana, of course not. No one noticed you at all.
Fuka: Hey, yall, I'm finished with these baths, me and Sana are goin'
to the private baths.
Tsuyoshi: Ok, see you later.
Sana: Bye!
[BACK TO THE SUSHI BAR...]
Akito: [stuffing his face with sushi]
Sushi person: Aren't you gonna go to the outdoor baths when you're
done?
Akito: Mibe I jeth go to duh prifat bats fer na. *Maybe I'll just go
to the private baths for now.
Sushi person: What?
Akito: Can I have a beer?
Sushi person: Aren't you underage?
Akito: I just said that I just turned 21, so gimme some damn beer.
Sushi person: Yessir.
Akito: [eats the rest of his sushi and drinks the beer] Whoo-ee. Bye
bye sushi guy. Gotta go takey bath now!
Sushi person:.....
[At the private baths]
Akito: Rubber ducky, you're soo fine....which bath me go?
[Right side: Ladies. Left side: Men.]
Akito: Right, men, left, ladies. Kaykay. Me go right then.
[Uh-oh...don't worry...it's still bathing suit-ed.]
Sana: Wow, this feels so nice, Fuka...how high do you think the tempurature
is?
Fuka: zzzzzz...
Akito: Woah!! There's a lotta transvestites in the men section!
All: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!
Sana: Huh? [turns around] AKITO?!?!?
Fuka: zzzz *kkkncht* Huh? AKI?!?!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN IN THE
WOMEN'S BATHS?!?
Akito: Sawa! Fuga!
Sana: What the hell-?
Akito: Me eat lots of sushi and drink beer.
Sana: YOU DRANK BEER?!?!?
Akito: [smiles big grin] Eeeeehehhehe!
Sana: [hits him on the head with a mallet] Come on, Akito! Come back
to your senses!!
Akito: Senses? Don't got one. Check the car.
Sana: AKIIIITOOOO!!!
Fuka: I know! [whispers something in Sana's ear]
Sana: Aaaah, good idea.
Sana: Yoo-hoo, Akito, it's me, your girlfriend, Sana Kurata, and I've
got a biiiig plate of SUSHI here for you...
Akito: [head pops up] Sana? Sushi? Oh my god, it's pure heaven!
[Akito dives at the sushi, misses, and plunges into the bath.]
Fuka+Sana: Yup, he's back.
Akito: Damn! Where's the sushi!
Sana: Up my ass! Come here, Akito, I got a score to settle with you!
Akito: Shoot, Miss Superstar!
Sana: Why did you drink beer?!!? You're underage! Or are you so stupid
to forget that you're 13 and not 21?!?
Akito: I drank beer because I felt like it, idiot! Anyway, you'll never
be able to drink beer because you're so childish you'll never grow up!
Sana: *snort* ME?!? Childish!??! I'm not the one who was singing 'Rubber
Ducky' and mixing up the things they read!
Akito: [turns red] I WAS DRUNK!
Sana: I KNOW! And that's exactly the problem! Because you should be
drinking...
[Sana turns around and pulls a cape behind her.]
Akito:....?
Sana:.....MADAME SANA'S MOO-MOO MIXTURE!!! [holds out a bottle]
Akito+Fuka: [face fault]
Sana: Madame Sana's Moo-Moo Mixture is a specifically indicated blend
of something and some other things. Nobody really knows what's in it but
of course that information is specifically indicated but I'm not sure what
that means. Madame Sana's Moo-Moo Mixture is all-natural, fat-free and
whatever good things I'm supposed to say for the sake of selling this utter
useless crap. Not sold in stores. Good while supplies last. Note: Madame
Sana's Moo-Moo Mixture also not authorized for individual sales.
Akito: That thing should be called Madman Sana's Moo-Moo Crap.
Sana: [hits him on the head with a bottle] Shut up, little one. You
have learned much, but you are still not a Jedi.
Akito: *cries hysterically* When will I be? I have trained so much!
*cries* When will this end?!?!
Sana: [looking solemn]....Never.
Akito: Whew, okay, I'll just keep training till then.
Fuka: [vein pops] YOU GUYS'RE REALLY IRKIN ME!!!! WOULD YOU GUYS JEST
SHUT UP...NOW?!?!?
Sana+Akito: Only if she does.
Akito: Sana...did you just call me a she?
Sana: *gasp* You mean you aren't a transvestite?!?!
Fuka: AAAAH!!! DASSIT!!! I'M THROUGH!!!
Akito: She's snapped...
[The Magical Fuka picks up Sana and Akito and throws them into China.]
Fuka: [she's back to normal] Aaaah....bath time.
[walks off]
[MEANWHILE, IN CHINA]
Chinese person: Nihao.
Sana: Nihao!! Got dumplings?
Chinese person: Yep yep.
Sana: YAAAAH!!! DUMPLINGS!!!
Akito: *mumbling* What the hell am I doing...?
>>>>>>
A/N: Whew! This took me awhile. Anyway, probably one more installment
and then...IT'S OVER!!!! I SWEAR!!!
