yoooo it's the penultimate chapter, hoping to get the last one up tonight and then i'll write a little epilogue
thank you everyone that's stuck along for this one, i love you all 3
truthfully i've been waiting for the gen 9 anime announcement to start writing anything else. i do think goh has a better chance of going into the next series than most of ash's other companions but I don't wanna get my hopes up too much. what i want to know though is, even if he leaves, are people still interested in another satogou fic? ik i'm always gonna love this ship anyway
sorry if these next two chapters seem kinda rushed. i didn't mean for it to seem that way i just didn't want to drag it on too long
to the reviewer asking about Kingslayer- I lost the files for that fic unfortunately so if I wanted to update it I'd need to rewrite what I'd wrote and I doubt I'm gonna have the motivation to do that when I don't enjoy the ship as much as I used to, I'm sorry ;-;
Goh climbs into the bed beside me when he's done, pulling the covers up to his nose. It's pretty chilly in here, so I shuffle under them too, watching him out of the corner of my eyes. When he lies down on his side, I copy him, facing him, our faces a few inches apart.
"Is this really happening?" He asks, his eyes flicking over every inch of my face.
"I don't know," I say back, my gaze intense. "Is it?"
He shakes his head, his hair falling over his face a little. "Two weeks ago we were saying we hated each other."
"I never hated you," I say quickly. "Not even eight years ago. I don't think I ever could."
"I never hated you either. Obviously." He chuckles a little, and I smile, inching slightly closer. His eyes drop to my lips, and suddenly he's frowning. "The hardest part of it all was seeing you everywhere. I always knew who you were dating. I saw all of the photos of you in public with them. I've lived in jealousy for years."
I wonder, if the roles had been reversed, how I would have coped with that. I'm not sure I could have. "None of them were you," I admit, my face burning. "I was chasing you for years and didn't even realise it."
He looks back up, and the intensity in his eyes steals my breath away. "And what happens now?" He asks, his voice low. I stare back at him, his face dimly lit under the lamp light. I watch his jaw twitch with nerves, and notice how his eyes roam my face, searching for the answer in my expression.
"I still have to go back to Unova," I say honestly. The words send a stab of pain through my chest, and I see the same reaction on Goh's face.
"I know," he says. "It'll be okay though, right?"
"Of course," I say, smiling sadly. "I only have a year left."
"A year is a long time," he says quietly, almost to himself. I want to reassure him, but I can't, because it feels like a long time to me, too. I hate the thought of being apart for that long, even if we call and visit each other. Honestly, knowing what I know now, I can't imagine us ever being apart. "But what- I mean, what about us?"
"What do you mean?"
He bites his lip, looking down. "I mean, what are we?"
A fire ignites in my chest again. "I love you," I say again, reminding him. "And I want to be with you."
He leans in, our noses colliding briefly as he kisses me clumsily. I kiss him back, wishing I could hold him there forever, and never have to move.
He smiles against my lips and moves away enough to look me in the eyes. "I like that I'm your first boyfriend."
Boyfriend.
My skin prickles, and Goh laughs, seeing the reaction on my face. I don't know why that word affects me so much. I suppose it's just the confirmation that we're dating. That he is my boyfriend. That this is real.
"Does it scare you?" He asks quietly, seriously now. "We can keep it to ourselves for now, if you want to."
I appreciate him considering the fact that I'm not out to many people yet. "I'm not sure. There's a few people I need to explain to, I think."
He nods, understanding. "We can take things at your pace. I'm happy as long as I have you."
"You do," I admit, not caring how sappy I sound. "I'm yours."
He leans in to kiss me again, and we kiss until my jaw starts to hurt again. With Goh it feels so comfortable, and I feel no pressure, and everything is just so easy. When he tries to stifle a yawn and fails, I tell him to get some sleep, and he gives me one last kiss, saying goodnight, and rolling over onto his other side, flicking the light off. I slide forward, tucking myself against him, my body curling around his, my arm over his side, pulling him into my chest. I feel him tense beneath me for a split second before he relaxes again. I rest my head in the space between his neck and his shoulder, breathing in his scent, closing my eyes.
"I love you," he whispers into the dark.
I plant a few kisses on the skin of his neck. "I love you too," I say. It's hard to know where he ends and I begin lying there in the dark. Curled up there with him, we both fall asleep.
— — — —
I wake in the morning alone. For a moment I'm confused and groggy, and not sure where I am, but then I smell him, and remember. I open my eyes, the sunlight streaming through the window. The clock on the bedside tells me it's 9 in the morning. I push myself upright, rubbing my eyes.
I get up and change into the clothes I wore yesterday, then step out into the kitchen. Goh is cooking something, Pikachu perched on his shoulder, watching. That strange feeling of elation spreads through my chest again, and I smile, sneaking up behind him, snaking my hands around his waist and hugging his back.
"Morning," he says. I glance over his shoulder, checking what he's making for breakfast. It's kind of surreal that I'm actually waking up in his apartment to him making breakfast for us. It's like we've been together for years. It feels that way, too.
"You're making breakfast," I say, stepping away.
"Yeah," he says, blushing. "Well, we have to go pick Dawn up from the airport soon, so I figured you should have breakfast first."
"You're so cute," I say, leaning back on the counter, watching him cook. He keeps stealing glances at me, and looking away quickly when he sees I'm still looking.
He gives me breakfast and we eat it together. Afterwards, he drives us to the airport, but Dawn's flight was delayed, and she isn't there yet. It's cold outside, so we sit in the car, talking and waiting for her. Honestly, sitting here makes me want to kiss him again, and I can tell he's thinking the same thing, so I lean in, knowing that in the middle of the car park, even though the spaces beside us are vacant, it's unlikely anyone will notice.
It's barely been ten seconds when there's a knock on my window. I jump away from Goh, panicked, but it's Dawn, bent down and staring through the window, her eyes wide.
She throws open the door and throws herself forward, crashing into me, her arms around my neck. "Oh my God!" She shouts, in my ear. I grunt, trying to pry myself away from her, but she's jumping up and down, tossing me around with her. "I knew it!"
"Dawn, get off," I groan, and she listens, but she's still grinning. She shuts the door with a slam and goes round to the back, climbing in and sliding into the middle seat, poking her head between our seats.
"I love you both," she says, genuinely elated. I chuckle and smile back as she takes her seat and puts her seatbelt on, grinning the whole time. I look at Goh, and see he's smiling too, down into his lap. I don't think I've ever been this happy.
Dawn's relatively quiet as we drive to the lab, where Chloe's waiting for us to pick her up. Dawn wants to go on a double date to a café she loves nearby, and she's so enthused that we're all just going along with it.
Chloe's not waiting outside when we pull up, so Goh sighs and says he'll go find out what she's doing. He leaves the car running, and I watch him jog up the steps, still smiling. I don't think I've stopped smiling since I got into bed last night.
"What happened, then?" Dawn asks, leaning forward in the back seat. I crane my head around to look at her.
"I told him how I felt," I say simply. "Serena helped me realise I kind of had to."
"And he felt the same way?" She asks excitedly, even though the answer is pretty evident.
"Yeah," I say, shaking my head. "I really didn't think he did. I'm still kinda shocked."
"You're made for each other, Ash."
"Literally," I say, laughing. "We're soulmates."
She squeals, her knees bouncing in excitement. "This is the best news ever. I'm so happy for you, Ash."
"Thank you," I say, noticing Goh and Chloe coming down the steps, laughing together. My heart lights up at the sight of him happy. Finally, everything is as it should have been all these years.
— — — —
The date went well, and we mostly just spent the whole time laughing. Goh was a little worried, and whispered in my ear that we can sit further apart, if I'm worried about photos being taken, or rumours starting up again. I just tell him that they're not rumours, it's just the truth, and to let them take all the photos they want. I had thought I'd be worried, but when it comes down to it, I almost want everyone to know. I want to tell the whole world that he's mine.
There's just one person I need to tell first, before the truth hits the internet again, or the news. I call her when we leave, everyone else going on ahead. She answers on the second ring.
"Hi mom," I say, a little nervous.
"Ash. How are you, honey?" I hear Mr. Mime in the background and smile.
"I'm fine. Listen, there's something I have to tell you," I say, figuring it's better to get it out of the way. I don't think she'll be bothered, but there's still that tickle of stress in the back of my mind that she'll not accept it.
"Okay," she says, hesitantly. I hear her put something down, and I think she might have been cooking, but now she's waiting patiently for me to say what I need to say.
"Well… I just need to tell you before you find out from somewhere else, so I'm just going to say it, okay?" I take a deep breath and blow it out again. "I'm gay."
There's a second of silence, so tense I don't breathe, but then she speaks again. "Oh, Ash, you made me think it was going to be something terrible." Then she actually laughs, sounding relieved.
"You… You're not bothered?" I ask apprehensively.
"Of course not, Ash. Has something happened, though?"
I bite my lip, looking down the street to where the others are waiting in the car. I didn't tell them who I was calling. "Yeah. I have a boyfriend," I admit.
"Can I meet this one?" She asks, and I almost start to cry right there. She's so casual about it all, I can tell she really doesn't care, and relief washes over me. I laugh, wiping my eyes as a tear slips free.
"You've already met him," I admit. "But yes, I'll bring him to you soon."
"I have?" She asks, confused. Clearly, she missed the rumours from Galar. "Well now I'm intrigued."
"I can bring him tomorrow," I suggest. "I'm in Vermillion right now."
"I thought you were in Unova?"
"Long story," I sigh. "But I'll call you in the morning."
"Okay, Ash. I love you," she says.
"I love you too, mom," I say, and hang up, taking a deep breath. That went better than I could have expected. Now it doesn't really matter who finds out. Still, I remind myself I should call Gary, who should be getting back from his honeymoon. He'll probably have a heart attack when he hears the news.
I pick up my suitcase from the lab, and see Professor Cerise for the first time in a long while. He can immediately tell something's changed, and we end up admitting to him that we're dating, too. Turns out, Chrysa and Ren were listening too, and they come out to celebrate, all excited to hear the news. I find I'm completely unbothered by everyone finding out, and end up staying for dinner, too.
I spend the night at Goh's again. When we're laying in bed, I ask if he'll come with me to Pallet the next day. He seems nervous, but agrees, and I actually feel pretty excited to take him home to her.
We spend a long time kissing, and when it starts to go further, I don't hit the wall I did with everyone else. It feels natural. Everything feels natural with him.
— — — —
I drive us to Pallet on the bike the next day. I don't need to take anything, because I'm not staying the night. I want to spend my last night in Kanto with Goh in his apartment again. Tomorrow, I have to head back to Unova again. The thought of leaving makes me feel a little sick, so I spend my time ignoring the fact.
My heart is pounding when I pull up. She's not waiting at the door this time, so we have to walk up to it. I glance over my shoulder to check on Goh as we do. He smiles, but I can tell he's very nervous. I reassured him last night that it would be okay, and he told me he knows everyone loves my mom, and she makes everyone feel at ease. Still, I imagine what it'll be like when I go with him to see his parents, and the thought makes my stomach flip.
I knock on the door, despite it being my house, not wanting to just barge in. I hear shuffling inside, and then she opens the door, smiling wide. Her eyes flick to Goh, and I see her mouth fall open, her eyebrows shooting up.
"Goh," she says, shocked. She hasn't seen him in eight years, and she didn't even know we were talking again, because when I last saw her, I thought I'd lost him again. "Come in," she says, opening the door all the way. I walk past her into the living room, sitting on the sofa.
"Do you want some tea, or coffee?" Mom asks behind us, mostly speaking to Goh, who sits beside me, a few feet away.
"Uh, yeah, coffee, please," he says, smiling nervously.
"I'm fine," I say, and she heads off into the kitchen. I reach out and take Goh's hand, squeezing it reassuringly.
"I never met Tokio's parents," he admits quietly. I look at him, surprised.
"Why not?"
"It just never happened," he says. "And we've been dating for less than two days."
"We can slow down, if you want," I say, my heart clenching tightly. Maybe I shouldn't have brought him here already. Maybe it is a little fast. I think I just got caught up in it-
He shakes his head, smiling. "I don't want to do anything slow with you," he says. "Ever."
I blush, my face on fire, and turn away. Fuck. I'm completely useless around him.
He pulls his hand away from mine when my mom comes back in to take the coffee from her, thanking her. She sits on a chair away from us, her legs crossed, holding her own coffee.
"I didn't know you two were talking again," she says to me pointedly.
"It just kind of happened," I say, looking at Goh. He sips his coffee, blushing down into it. "He was at Misty's wedding."
"Oh, of course," she says, smiling. "Well I'm really glad you're back, Goh. Ash was never really himself after you two separated."
"Mom," I groan, furrowing my brows, but she just shrugs.
"Really?" Goh says, looking at me. I don't look back, because I'm embarrassed, and now they're both looking at me, and I wish the sofa would swallow me up.
"Yeah. I tried to convince him to speak to you for years before I gave up."
"It was my fault," he says, frowning. "And I've regretted it for years."
"It was my fault, too," I argue, not wanting him to put himself down. "And it doesn't matter now, anyway."
"Ash has never brought anyone here to meet me," she says, cutting in. "I hope that means he's serious about you."
"I am," I say, frowning.
We talk for a while, until Goh becomes more comfortable around her again, and I'm happy to sit back and let them talk. My mom always did love Goh, and she seems to still love him now, despite everything.
"Oh, I forgot," she says suddenly, snapping her fingers. "Gary is at Professor Oak's. He just got back from the honeymoon. They were both here earlier."
Goh and I turn to look at each other in sync. "Well, maybe we should go up there," I suggest, shrugging. Secretly, I'm dying to see Gary. Goh probably is too. He nods, smiling, clearly excited. "Does he know I'm here?" I ask mom.
"I didn't mention it," she answers. I stand, nodding for Goh to stand too.
"We'll come back after we've been up there," I promise, noticing her frown when she thinks we're leaving. I know she hates it when I leave. It's just her and Mr. Mime here, and the only person she really talks to is the Professor. "Do you want to come?"
She shakes her head, smiling. "No, you two go. I'll wait here."
We head out together, leaving her in the living room. The second the door shuts behind us, I turn to Goh, grinning. "She loves you."
"Do you think so?" He asks nervously, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.
"Of course," I say, nudging his shoulder with mine. "Who wouldn't?"
He rolls his eyes and I laugh. We walk up the road, Professor Oak's lab sitting at the top of the hill. As we approach, I see Gary in the field, kneeling beside a Vileplume, his lab coat on. He doesn't see us approach, so I step up to the fence.
"Gary!" I call out. He turns, his eyebrows immediately shooting up. He actually does a double-take, confusion written all over his face. I almost laugh.
"Ash," he says, standing up and walking over to us. He looks between me and Goh a few times, shaking his head. "And Goh, showing up here together. Never thought I'd see that again."
"How was the honeymoon?" Goh asks, ignoring his comment. He looks like he wants to ask questions, but bites his tongue.
"Really good. Misty's a little sick of me already, but I'm sure she'll get over it," he says, flashing his usual grin. I bet they were at each other's throats the whole time, but they've always seemed to like it that way. "Now, mind telling me why the fuck you two are here together when you hate each other?"
I glance to the side at Goh, to find he's already looking at me. Gary crosses his arms, waiting for us to answer. Truthfully, the idea of saying it out loud is both terrifying and exhilarating right now. I swallow hard and turn back to Gary, smiling sheepishly. "We're dating."
His face twists, not in disgust, but in disbelief. "You… Sorry?" He spits out.
"I know," Goh says beside me. "I find it hard to believe too."
"Hold on," he says, raising his hands. "You're being serious?"
Goh nods. "Say hello to my boyfriend," he says jokingly. It makes me blush, and I look down at the grass, embarrassed. Gary's blinking rapidly, processing what we're telling him.
"What did I miss?" He asks incredulously. "Wow. Well, come inside. You can tell me how you went from hating to dating in the space of two weeks."
— — — —
It's very awkward explaining how everything came about with Professor Oak listening, but he doesn't seem to care much. It's Gary that's shocked. I think it's mostly because he didn't expect me not to be straight. I can't blame him, really. We stay there for a while, until it's getting late and I tell Gary I'll see him soon, when I'm next back from Unova. That probably won't be for a couple of months, though. It'll be impossible to get away once the semester starts, even over Halloween. I'm just hoping Goh has enough free time to come to me, too.
We spend another hour with my mom before we head back to Vermillion. By the time we get back, I'm exhausted, and collapse onto Goh's bed, already feeling comfortable at his apartment. I get fifteen minutes of peace before Dawn and Chloe show up. I have to catch a flight back to Unova early tomorrow morning, so there'll be no time to say goodbye tomorrow. I really don't want to leave, and thinking about it makes me feel like I might actually cry.
It feels wrong to find your soulmate and then leave them a few days later. Not to mention we couldn't be further apart. We'll be on opposite sides of the planet, literally. It'll be hard to even find time to talk, because when Goh's awake, I'll be sleeping, since Kanto is thirteen hours ahead of Unova.
"Do you really have to go?" Goh whines into my ear in bed when Dawn and Chloe have left. He's behind me, his arms wrapped around my chest. I groan, wishing he'd stop reminding me, so I can enjoy my last night here. "Sorry," he whispers, then leans in, nibbling on the top of my ear playfully. A shiver runs up both of my arms and I swat him away, laughing, but then he's kissing my neck, and I let him, burning alive as he trails down to my shoulder.
"You know what the first thing I noticed about you was?" He says, still kissing my neck.
"What?" I ask breathlessly, my breath hitching when he gently bites me.
"How much better you look in person compared to your photos," he murmurs against my skin. "I didn't think that was possible until I saw you."
"Shut up," I hiss, blushing.
"I'm serious. That, and how deep your voice was. You don't even sound like the same person."
"Neither do you," I say. "And you look really good with longer hair, by the way."
He pulls back, surprised. "You think? I wasn't sure about it." He messes with his hair a little, and I turn to grin at him.
His lips crash into mine, his hands finding my jaw, running along the edge of it. My breath catches as I open my mouth to welcome his kiss, warmth spreading up the entirety of my body.
Even with my flight being early in the morning, we don't get much sleep. I think we both forced ourselves to stay awake, wasting time, because we didn't want the morning to come.
But now it's here, and I have to leave. That sucks the life out of both of us, and has us both silent on the ride to the airport. Goh says he'll look after the motorbike for me, and keep it for when I return, which hopefully won't be too far away.
He walks me into the airport, but pauses in the entranceway, knowing I have to go the rest of the way myself.
"I'll see you soon, right?" He asks, sounding like he's going to cry. Something cracks wide open in my chest and I surge forward, taking his face in both of my hands and kissing him. He gasps underneath me, seizing up.
I know people are watching. I know this will be all over the news tomorrow, and the whole world will know the truth.
I don't care. I want them to know. Let them know that he's mine, and I'm his.