The sun shone brightly.
"Damnit!" Nat said, glaring at "yellow face".
"Go away you cancer causing dumb thing!" She yelled into the sky, squinting as the sun replied with a bright radiance which hurt (like hell).
"What are you doing?" drawled a voice from behind her.
"I'm cursing the sun. What are you doing?"
"Wondering how you were placed in Slytherin." Draco replied, narrowing his eyes at Nat, as she lay sprawled on the ground.
"It was magic." Nat replied, grinning up at Draco.

"Obviously."
"So what did you want?"
"Oh, I don't want anything. However, I believe you're supposed to meeting one of your little Gryffindor friends?"
"Ohhh! The disease girl!" Nat said, jumping up.
"Yes. Because as much as I hate to admit it, she is fairly intelligent, which is something you are not."
Nat blinked and stared dazedly at Draco for a moment. "What? Oh, never mind! Thanks for reminding me!" Nat said, before jumping on Draco and giving him a hug. "I'll see you later, okies? Love you, buh-bye!" Nat said, before rushing off and leaving a very disgusted looking Draco behind her.

+++

"Well, hopefully we'll make some progress today…" Hermione said, rather doubtfully.

"Pro-gress! You talk funny! Oh my God!" Nat said, giggling.

"I most certainly do not talk funny!" Hermione said, rather offended.

"Pro-gress! Ha! Say 'processed cheese product'!"

"Processed cheese product." Hermione said, a bit reluctantly.

"Oh my God! That is sooo cute!" Nat exclaimed, then hugged Hermione tightly. "You are just the cutest thing!"

Hermione broke free of Nat's hold, and took a few steps back. "Lovely. Now, we need to start our lessons."
Nat sighed. "Oh, alright."

+++

Nat walked up the long flight of stairs. Why the hell did the Slytherins have to live in the dungeons? It was dark, cold, and too far from everything!

Rounding a corner, Nat forgot to watch her footing, and yelped in surprise as one of the steps disappeared from under her, and she was sent tumbling backwards down the flight of stairs.

Of course, being Nat, she happened to roll right into Severus Snape, as he was making his way up the stairs as well. So both were sent tumbling down the stairs, where they landed in a heap at the bottom.

"Owww… Shit." Nat said, struggling to sit up, and holding her head. "What the hell did I hit?" she asked herself, looking around. She of course found herself laying atop an unconscious Snape.

"Ahh! Fuck!" She yelped, jumping up immediately, and backing away from the professor. "WhatamIgonnado?!" she said, absolutely horrified. She'd get expelled for knocking a teacher out!

"What's going on?" a voice called from down the hallway.

"Oh no! Nononono!" Nat whispered frantically, before ducking behind a suit of armour.

A few moments later, Emma appeared, and stooped to inspect the unconscious form of Professor Snape. "Now what have we here?" Emma mused, "A wittle Snapey, all defenceless?!" She said, delighted, before cackling evilly. "I can definitely take advantage of this!" She said, before removing Snape's wand from his pocket, and casting a levitating spell with her own wand. "Now let's go find somewhere we can be alone, alright, Snapey? Yes…" Emma said, grinning evilly,  as she pulled a small jar of strawberry jam from her pocket. "We can have lots of fun this way…" She said, glancing around and then levitating Snape's body in the direction of an unused classroom.

"Whoa, that's fucked up." Nat said, quietly to herself, as she climbed out from behind the suit of armour. "Ah well, I'm sure he could use some anyhow." She said, shrugging it off.

+++

"Hiiii!" Nat greeted the entire great hall, before hopping on the nearest table (Ravenclaw). "Just so you all know, Snape's not feeling too well, so he won't be joining us for dinner! Everyone cry!"

The great hall stared blankly at Nat, and Dumbledore shook his head (exchange students, why did he agree to have one?!). Nat frowned, then hopped over to the Slytherin table, walking down the length of it before hopping into her seat next to Draco.

"Hi honey!" she exclaimed, loudly.

"Shut up." Draco said, glaring at her.

"Aww… Are you still upset I won't let you do anal? Honestly, if you want to do that, ask Crabbe or Goyle, I don't want—"

"SHUT UP!" Draco yelled, drawing his wand.

"Pfft. Meany." Nat said, but for once, decided not to push things any further.

The rest of the meal passed in silence, although Nat did kick several of her housemates who were sitting across the table across from her.

+++

Note: Eh… Do my homework. And uhm… My job. Then I'll have time to write.

Jeezis. I was 15 when I started this. For the record, I'm 17 ½ now. Pfft!

Disclaimer: Emma owns Snape. I know this because she raped him.

Moral: Anal sex is for fanfiction only.