Well, it's the weekend again...I probably won't be updating until Sunday..I'm hopefully heading up to West Virginia for some White Water Rafting on the Upper Gauley. Anyways...thanks for all the reviews...my story is nearing its conclusion, hope you guys enjoy the final few chapters..

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Nothing Is My Own

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Chapter Fourteen: The Darkest of Times

It seemed that the night was never-ending as James watched the Death Eaters searching the street below his window. A cold shiver shot up his spine, and as they killed everything living thing that moved, he felt grateful that they could not touch his home. They were getting close though, too close.

The coldness of the winter was starting to set in, and while the pristine white snow normally seemed innocent and pure, the illusion of childhood had started to fade from James mind. He remembered those carefree days playing out in the white powder. He could still feel the tingle the coldness caused on the end of his nose. Those days seemed like a distant memory.

He turned his head from the window and the sight below, and he began to rock his sleeping baby. Little Harry was growing, and his innocent green eyes knew not of the dangers that awaited him in this dark world. James never pictured this kind of life, a life of fear and hiding.

When he use to daydream of his life with Lily it always seemed so perfect. Now, the romance was dead and the terror was real. He loved his wife, and his baby son. He would do anything for them, he'd give his life for them. He glanced back towards the frosted window, and vowed that nothing would harm his wife and child as long as he were alive.

James and Lily hadn't left the house in over a month. They and the Longbottoms were frequently visited by members of the Order, and shortly after the birth of Harry and Neville, were advised to seek deep hiding and completely withdrawal themselves from the wizarding world. Although most of the time the James and Lily seemed completely consumed by their loneliness, it did not break their spirits. They had many friends and visitors and the Potter home was never without excitement.

Young Harry had shown signs of great talent when he had stolen his father's wand and set the kitchen on fire, accidentally of course. He was going to be a fireball, and with the mixture of Lily's wits and James's mischievous nature, they had their hands full. Sirius had gotten Harry a baby snitch for his first Christmas, and the young Potter refused to let it out of his sight. He obvious liked the bright golden ball.

The coldest month of January had finally begun, and the numbing sensation that usually followed every Christmas seemed more intense. Lily listened as James paced in the nursery above, she dare not go to the window, the sight of the Death Eaters searching filled her with an unbearable dread. She tried to focus on a happier thought. The group was coming over that evening for a visit, and she was looking forward to seeing those who were dearest to her heart. She had never realized how much her friends meant to her, even Sirius with his fire whiskey seemed to fill the void in her chest. When the pacing finally subsided she knew her young son was finally asleep. She glanced over at the stairs and prepared to see her husband.

James looked much older now, his messy jet black hair and his warm eyes were the only things left from his school boy face. He now had a deep wrinkle in his forehead and a forgotten smile.

Lily gave him a look as he appeared, "you look old."

"Well, thanks darling," he laughed.

She approached him and placed her arms around his waist and drew in his familiar scent.

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like." she started.

"No, I can't imagine a life without you," he said almost reading her mind.

She absorbed his warmth, and let her mind carry her back to those first days. She remember the first time she nuzzled her nose into James chest. She remembered the first time those lips found hers. She felt his warmth engulf her and they were like two kids again, discovering love for the first time.

"Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and December O'Riley request admittance," said that familiar deep voice.

"Should we?" James asked as Lily pulled away slightly.

She smiled, " admitted."

"Hey guys, how you holding up?" asked Sirius as he appeared. He seemed to have changed the most since Harry's birth. It use to be unheard of for Sirius Black to be anywhere on a Friday night without a bottle of fire whiskey, but tonight his hands were empty. Peter gave a slight grin, as he looked upon James face. He tugged on his sleeve, feeling the burning mark the material hide.

"You guys look good," Peter lied.

Tonight was the night to unleash his plans. His master was getting impatient and if he didn't deliver to the Potters to him soon, he would pay with life. "So, where is Harry?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Peter, we've already put him down for the evening," Lily explained.

Peter gave an understanding nod, and took a seat on the couch. December followed Lily into the kitchen to gather some butter beers. She almost gasped when Lily opened the pantry door and removed a bottle of Witches Rum.

"Want a swig," she offered December.

"Lily, you shouldn't be drinking this stuff," she said hatefully as she snatched the bottle out of Lily's hand.

Lily forced a smile, "sometimes I just need something stronger than fire whiskey."

December laughed as she placed the cork back into the bottle, "so are the Death Eaters still searching outside?"

"I don't know, I never go to the window anymore," Lily said solemnly.

She walked over to the kitchen door and peeked out, "Peter seems to be doing much better."

December bit her tongue, she knew it was wrong, but she had a bad feeling about Peter. He was acting differently, almost odd since Beth's death, she swore she caught him smiling at her funeral. He also didn't seem to be phased by Beth's old bedroom. December still wasn't able to walk anywhere near it. The strangest thing was he kept grabbing his arm and rubbing it, like something was bothering him beneath his clothing.

"Yea, he seems like he's doing great," December finally said.

Lily lowered her voice, "so what about Sirius and Remus?"

December shook her head, "I don't know."

Lily wasn't satisfied with that response, "has anything else happened?"

December silence was enough to confirm Lily's suspicious .

"December Noel O'Riley, please tell me you didn't" Lily scolded.

"He loves me, I know he does," December muttered.

"Did you?" Lily pushed trying to get solid proof.

"It wasn't like it was out of lust or anything," December rambled.

"Do you love him?" Lily finally blurted out.

"No," December said suddenly.

"Than why?"

"Because I want what you and James have," December cried.

Lily looked in disbelief, beneath December's thick sarcastic exterior she was a romantic and a dreamer. She felt a loss of words as she stared upon December's girlish face . She had spent so many nights here recently envying December O'Riley's life, now she was seeing that this whole time it had been December envying Lily.

"You got to talk to Sirius."

"And say what Lily, hey I slept with your best friend, oh, by the way, I'm in love with you," December said sarcastically

"It's better that he hear from you than someone else," Lily tried.

"No, mine and Sirius's time has passed," December told herself.

Lily knew there was no sense in trying to talk any sense into December, she had to figure this out on her own.

The living room was ringing in laughter just like old times, the Marauder reunited. James and Sirius were engulfed in a light game of wizard chess and Remus and Peter had taken sides and were rooting their friends on.

Peter felt a sharp pain sear on his arm and he tried his best to hide his discomfort. He could hear the cold hisses of his master rattling in his ear, "they will have to select a secret keeper, make sure you're the one they select."

Peter's eyes filled with water as he tried to talk himself out of what he was about to do. He squinted his eyes and stared at his school aged friends. They had taken him in, protected him, but they couldn't protect him from his new master. Peter had always been drawn to those who were stronger, who were smarter. He wasn't sure why he had gone to the Slytherins that cold night his seventh year. He wasn't sure why he had turned his back on those he was closest to. Perhaps is was the fear of losing the Marauders. When Sirius and Remus's fight had almost destroyed the group, he has a terrible thought haunting his mind. What would happen to him, who would watch his back if the Marauders were no more?

At first he had not regretted his turnover, and even when the Dark Lord branded him one of his servants he felt no remorse. He felt more confident, more powerful. When the Marauders didn't split, but mended their ways, he felt for the first time, that he actually belong with this group. He was just as powerful as they were.

He felt no remorse that cold day when he had taken his lovers life. He had convinced himself that the task had proven his worth to his master. Yes, she was defenseless. He sometimes smile as he thought of those childlike tears that filled her eyes when struck her down. It was an overwhelming sense of power to take another life. It wasn't until this moment, his heart racing as he thought about what he had to do, did he feel regret. He didn't regret the fact that he was about to betray his friends, he felt regret because his own life was now in danger. He slowly moved his wand under his robe, and carefully muttered a mind relaxing curse at James.

"Peter, you okay?" Sirius jeered as he looked up at Peter's dazed face.

"I hear them," Peter said in a whisper.

"You hear who?" James asked with worry.

"The Death Eaters," Peter suddenly replied. James closed his eyes, he couldn't explain it, he just had an overwhelming urge to explain his woes to his friends.

"Their after Harry," he finally responded.

Sirius almost leapt to his feet, "what?"

"You know who is after Harry, not me and Lily," James finally confessed.

He had never really explained the whole situation to any of the Marauders. The only person other than Dumbeldore, McGongall and Snape that knew the Potter's and Longbottom's secret to any extent was December, and she had never breath a word of it. Remus eyes grew wide as Sirius continued to swear under his breath.

Peter could hear the cold hisses of his master in his ears again, "what is the curse that protects them?"

"How are you guys keeping Harry safe?" Peter asked obediently.

James answered before he should have, "a blood curse."

Peter bit his lip to hide his grin of pleasure, he knew this information would spare his life for awhile.

Lily and December finally rejoined the group and passed out the bottles of cold butter beers. That is when it hit James, he shouldn't have told them about his secret. He had a terrible knot forming in his chest, he felt like he had just placed him and his family in grave danger. Luckily, Remus was still the sensible one of the group. He quickly changed the subject as the women entered the room. Sirius and Peter followed suit, and the conversation was lost.

December looked over a Peter several times that evening, he wasn't there in mind. He had a wild fire burning behind his eyes, and it gave December chills. Something terrible was about to happen, and she couldn't say a word.