I would like to apologize for my poor grammatical skills…..my poor spelling and misuse of words are perhaps my greatest weakness in my writing….Luckily I work with some amazing editors and they usually keep me out of trouble. Maybe I'll post one of my editorials, I have a really good one on the second Harry Potter movie…I honestly should probably get a beta, but I just don't see the point. The thing about publishing is that your story goes though so many editors before it even gets to press…..I don't think there is any such thing as a perfect writer. We all have our quirks and faults…..the story and how is you tell it is the most important part. Anyways…enough rambling…….

Here is another chapter, one chapter closer to that dark October day.

Thanks for all the reviews….

Remember nothing is my own and continue to read and review…

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Chapter sixteen: The Secret Keeper

Dearest December,

If your reading this, than I am gone, and I will not be returning. I owe many people and friends an explanation for what I am doing, but you're the only one who I feel obligated to explaining anything to.

I told myself years ago that one day I would dedicate my life to finding an end to this terrible curse. I know now that by finding an end to this misery is the only way we can be together. I can't expect you to understand why I must go. I don't know where my quest will take me, but it has to be better than this damn life I'm living. I almost left so many times, telling myself that you and I were a mistake. Everytime I looked into your eyes, I knew I couldn't leave, and I delayed the evitable. Remember, that every night when I look into the heavens you'll be in my heart and no matter where I am you'll always be in my thoughts. Please send my regrets to everyone, and help them to understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. You have always been my best friend, my soul mate that was never meant to be.

Tell Sirius I'm sorry.

Always Yours,

Remus

Nobody could believe that Remus had just left, no goodbye, just an old yellowed letter he probably wrote before they left Hogwarts. The only thing that didn't seem aged about the letter was the fresh inked words, "tell Sirius I'm sorry."

When December had found the letter the morning after the incident, she had gone ballistic. She had sobbed uncontrollable. Peter seemed the most rattled by Remus disappearance, he had told the group of this elaborate story about how Remus had seemed insane and knocked him out with a series of violent curses when he had tried to talk to him.

Lily bounced Harry on her hip as she appeared in the living room. December had again spent the night, she wasn't able to sleep in her house since Remus left. She mutter things about too many memories being there. Lily was actually getting out of the house today, she was going to warn her parents about the prominent danger that they were in. James had been withdrawn and vague about any details since his parents died, and the disappearance of Remus was not helping.

The silvery pensive James had brought home had been the greatest gift to Lily. She had religiously emptied her memories into the bowl every night, and her head felt unbelievable lighter. It was so hard to believe that the Potter's were dead. She didn't know them very well, she only saw them on special occasions, but they had always been wonderful to her. Their death seemed almost surreal, and Lily imagined it was because her and James were unable to attend their burial ceremony. She had read somewhere long ago, that if you don't see the people who died actually dead, they really aren't in your mind.

James had seen his parents, Lily didn't even have time to stop him from apparating when Sirius delivered the news. Alastor had told Lily that the aurors had been unable to shield the Potter's mangled bodies before James eyes found them. Their death had been more prolonged than Beth's, and their tortured faces told the story of the horror that had murdered them. Lily tried to get James to talk about the subject, but he wouldn't.

Lily nudged December, "hey time to get up sleepy head."

December groaned and pushed her dark hair from her eyes.

"I need you to do me a favor," Lily said quickly.

She handed a giggling Harry over to December, "can you watch him for a couple hours?"

December let Harry chew on her finger, "yea, where are you going?"

Lily rarely left the house these days, and the fact she seemed secretive about her exit made December life her eyebrows in wonder.

"I'm going to warn my parents, James is still asleep upstairs. Whatever you do, don't tell him where I went," Lily begged.

"Lily, are you sure you should go?" December asked.

Lily lowered her head, "their my parents, I have to warn them."

December smiled as the teething Harry continued to chew her finger, "just be careful, I'll cover for you the best I can."

Lily had been wanting to go warn her parent for the past week now, but James felt it was too dangerous. She hated going behind his back like this, but had given her no choice. She had snuck him a sleeping potion the night before, and if everything worked out right, she'd be back before he was even up. Lily pulled a sweater around her shoulder to protect her from the cool summer morning. She smiled one last time at Harry and December and apparated.

The house was dark and cold. The warmth that normally traveled though her body when she was home was missing. The coffee table showed a weeks worth of dust, and the half empty cup of abandoned tea shot a cold chill up Lily's spine. The crack of morning sun that was peeking though the window calmed Lily's nerves a bit. It was the birth of a new morning and although her mother was a morning person, it was possible that her parents had not yet greeted the new day.

Lily held her tongue, realizing it was probably not a wise idea to yell. She slowly crept up the stairs, almost forgetting to breath. Her parents bedroom door was open and silent, and Lily paused a moment. Her heart was beating frantically as her feet slowly carried her to the empty doorway. She had a terrible feeling that something ghastly await her on the other side. She closed her eyes as she continued to approach, and finally as her hands found the door frame, she willed her eyes open.

Nothing, the bed was cleanly made and the room was in perfect order, except for the displaced robe crumbled on the bedroom floor. Lily searched around the bedroom for a sign about where her parents could be, but found nothing. She went back down the stairs into the living area, feeling more confused than anxious.

"Their probably out on holiday somewhere," she told herself. Then that abandoned tea cup once again caught her eye. She walked over to it and slowly held her breath. The cream that had been added to the tea had soured, she carefully set it back down on the table. She caught sight on a second tea cup lying shattered on the floor. She felt her heart stop, and she apparated to the last place she'd every thought she'd go.

Had she stopped to think she probably would have never went there, but she didn't think.

She didn't even realize she was standing in her sister's house until Vernon Dursley let out a mouthful of swear words at her appearance.

Lily didn't dabble in pleasantries, "where is my sister?"

"How the hell did you get into my living room?" Vernon continued, puzzled by her appearance.

"There is no time for that, where is my sister?" Lily demanded.

Vernon looked around and his eyes found an astonished looking Petunia.

She stood motionless at the middle on the stairwell, her eyes puffy from what looked like a good crying.

Lily didn't need to ask what she had been crying over. She had a feeling she already knew.

"About time you finally decided to show up," Petunia said hatefully.

Lily didn't speak, she had lost her ability to move her tongue.

"Their dead, dear sister. The police said it was a gang related crime or something, but I know what happened to them, and from your sudden entrance so do you."

Lily tried to will her knees not to buckle, she felt her head swimming and realized it was because she wasn't breathing.

"When?" Lily finally managed to choke out.

"Last week," Petunia said hatefully, "do you realize how many lies I had to tell, when everyone asked where you were. I even sent out an owl to look for you, and still no word from my precious sister."

"I had no idea," Lily tried to explain.

"Then why are you here?" Petunia asked coldly.

Lily lowered her head, she knew her sister had a right to know, she too was in grave danger. "Their dead because of me."

Petunia looked almost outraged, then a odd grin crept into her face, "their precious freak daughter caused them to meet their end, figures."

"Voldemort is after my baby, and Dumbledore placed a blood curse to protect us," Lily said as clearly as her dried throat allowed her to say.

Vernon Dursley looked puzzled at Lily's answer, and his searching face begged Petunia for answered. Petunia looked horrified. Lily words had pierced her iced heart like a dagger, and all the secrets of the magical world she had chosen to ignore were now slapping her in the face.

"A blood curse?" Petunia's shaking voice finally managed.

Lily nodded to affirm her sister's worst fears.

Petunia let her eyes wander up her stairs where she had her own sleeping child, "is my family in danger?"
Lily didn't want to answer, she was afraid Petunia would never understand. She could hear that cold voice of Petunia shouting for her to leave. Petunia didn't need to hear Lily say it, she knew the answer by the expression on Lily's face. She placed her hand over her mouth to muffle her cries and collapsed on to the stairs.

"I'm so sorry," Lily cried, tears now filling her eyes.

Lily felt her feet carrying her over towards the stairs.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Vernon swore as he watched clueless.

Lily took her seat next to Petunia and careful whispered so Vernon couldn't hear, "do you still have your wand?"

Petunia's head shot up at Lily's words, "what are you suggesting?"

"Me and James are selecting a secret keeper, and this blood curse will be lifted, I swear, but I think you should be prepared to defend yourself if need be," Lily explained.

Petunia's gray eyes looked deeply into her younger sisters, and for the first time in years the two sisters understood each other.

Lily stood up quickly, "I'll be back to make sure everything is okay."

Before Petunia could respond Lily was gone.

Lily apparated straight to James's side, and shook him madly until he finally cracked his eyes, "is everything okay?" he asked in alarm.

Lily shook her head and bit her bottom lip to hold back her tears, "their dead."

James didn't know what Lily was talking about but he tried his best to comfort her, as she exploded into tears.

"Who's dead love?" he finally asked.

Lily held her breath long enough to mutter the words, "my parents."

James felt like yelling at her, she had intentionally went against his wishes, but he couldn't. His wife's parents were dead, his parents were dead; what if he and Lily were next?

"I warned Petunia," Lily finally said after a minuet or two of crying.

"Is she okay?" James asked sympathetically.

"Yes, but we've got to select our secret keeper and soon."

James glanced over at the bottle sitting on their dresser, a year was quickly reaching its end. The warmth of June had chilled James clear down to his bones, he knew that he had one month left to officially select his secret keeper and his and Lily's hiding would become even more intense. The luxuries they enjoyed now would seem like a distant memory. Nobody would be able to visit the Potter home without the direct permission of their secret keeper.

James held his breath, "what about Sirius?"

Lily nodded, "I think that is our best choice."

Lily knew that Sirius Black would rather die than betray his friends, and although she had considered December, she had been far to emotional to deal with this right now.

"Have you talked to him yet?" Lily continued.

"Not yet," James confessed, "but I can today."

Lily nodded, "we haven't much time."

James pulled himself from his bed and adjusted his glasses over his face, "I'll go talk to him now."
He kissed Lily and tried to console her without a word.

"Hurry back," she whispered and like a breeze he was gone. Lily felt herself collapse on her bed, she felt like she was thirteen years old again, and Petunia had just broken her heart.

The image of the broken tea cup on the living area floor haunted her mind. She wondered if they were tortured like the Potters. "I swear we'll be back soon."
Why did she promise those words, she remembered her mother dashing up the stairs on that last visit. She had never gotten the chance to make things right, and now she never would. Lily tried to muffle her sobs with her pillow, she could haven't swore she had washed the green out of her eyes.

James apparated straight to Sirius's place and looked around, the black bra thrown over the couch gave James a good indication of where Sirius might be. As James picked it up and examined the fine piece of French lace he shook his head.

"SIRIUS!" he decided to give plenty of advance notice of his arrival.

Sirius emerged from the bathroom with a towel secured loosely around his waist, "hey Prongs."

James could hear someone moving frantically behind the bathroom door, and James didn't need to ask if Sirius's company was still there.

"Busy?" James asked with a teasing grin.

Sirius just smiled, "I had a friend over last night," he said coolly.

James held the black bra in front of his face, "so I see."

Sirius made his way though his bachelor pad and took a seat on a bar stool.

"So, what honor do I owe this visit to?" Sirius asked casually.

James was about to explain the reason for his visit when he saw a tall blond dash out of the bathroom and into the bedroom at lighting fast speed. James couldn't help but laugh.

Sirius didn't respond, in fact he acted like it wasn't even a big deal.

"You were saying," he urged James.

"I need to talk to you about something important, can you be at my place in a hour?" James finally asked.

Sirius glanced down at his watch, then towards his bedroom door, "can you give be an hour and a half?"

James wasn't in the mood to lecture Sirius about his behavior, "yea, that's fine."

Sirius stood up, and made a motion to walk over to the bedroom. Why James did what he did next, was beyond even him.

James was about to apparate when he heard his voice say, "December's at our place."

Sirius froze at James word, "how is she?" He asked without even looking at James.

"Better," James offered.

Sirius nodded and disappeared behind his bedroom door.

The hour and a half past slowly as James watched every movement of the clock.

"He'll be here soon," Lily tired.

December was watching young Harry in the next room, and Lily could hear Harry laughing in her company. She always had a way of making him laugh.

"Sirius Black request admittance," said the familiar deep voice.

"Admitted," James spat.

Before Sirius could even appear James was already on his feet, "what took you so long?"

Sirius smirked, "I had to finish up some business."

James rolled his eyes, and Lily held her hand up to calm her edgy husband.

"We need to talk to you about something important," Lily began.

Sirius demeanor suddenly changed as he studied Lily's face.

"As you know," she eyed James wearingly, "you know who is after Harry."

Sirius nodded for her to continue.

"My parents are dead," she blurted out, she didn't want to sugar coat the news.

"I'm sorry Lils," Sirius offered and she dabbed her eyes with a napkin.

"The blood curse is almost broken, and we need to find a secret keeper," James picked up.

Sirius felt a lump developing somewhere deep in his throat.

"I think you know what we're asking," James continued.

Sirius nodded and let his eyes meet James, "you know you can count on me James."

James rested his hand on Sirius shoulder, "thank-you."
Sirius looked around and casually asked, "so when do you want to do it?"

"Tomorrow, at sunset, it has to be a sunset," Lily chimed in. "Sunset is the luckiest time of the day, my mother told me that."

"Why not today?" Sirius asked suddenly.

Lily forced a smile, "we've just asked a lot of you Sirius, I want you to have a day to consider it. We're asking you to risk your life for us.

Sirius started to protest, just Lily cut him off. There was no use arguing with her over this.

"I'll go meet Dumbledore today and make sure we know everything to do," James said almost to himself.

Sirius let his eyes carry him over to the kitchen door, "so where is Harry?"

"In the living area with December," Lily carefully explained.

Sirius nodded, "I'll see him another time then."
Lily had a feeling that Sirius would be trying to avoid December. Sirius turned back to Lily and James, "I'll see you two tomorrow."

He stood up and walked slowly to the door and peeked in, he let out a deep sigh.

Young Harry turned his eyes towards the door and met those of his Godfather. He held out his outstretched arms and gave a happy cry. December smiled and turned to see what Harry was reaching for, but saw nothing.