Title: Recalling the Best "Worst" Times (Part 2)
Author: Sirius
Pairing: R/J sooner or later
Summary: Jess is back in New York, thinking back on his times in Stars
Hollow. He hated it there, in that cookie-cutter town, but now it was the
only place he wanted to be.
Rating: PG
So now I'm in Washington Square Park. The storm passed so I decided to go out for a walk. I can't believe how much I miss her. I thought if I came here, went back to my old life, my old ways, I would be able to just forget that I ever knew her, ever had feelings for her. Fat chance of that. The park benches were a lot more comfortable in Stars Hollow.
I look up from where I'm slumped on my hard, steel bench. People walking in pairs or hurrying home from work pass me by and I just stare at them. A payphone catches my eye so I head over to it. Now's my chance. I put in my coins and dial a very familiar number. I wait for someone to pick up, and then I hear it. Her angelic voice.
"Hello?" Ah, Rory. Sweet, sweet Rory.
"Hi." I smile to myself but don't allow it to show in my voice. I don't hear her on the other side and panic takes over. "Hello?" Please be there!
"Hi." Thank goodness.
"Is this a bad time?" I don't mean to intrude or anything.
"Um, no, just hold on a sec?" I wait a minute and I hear the loud noise in the background quiet a little. I guess she went in another room. "Hi."
I decide to be nonchalant and respond with, "You said that already."
"I did. You're right, sorry." I love how much I can fluster her with a few simple words.
"So, what's up?" I miss her. God I miss her. If I were there right now I would know what was up. I can't believe I screwed myself out of being with her. Maybe not "being" with her, but at least getting to see her.
"Nothing. What about you?"
"Same."
"So, what have you been doing?" Personally, I thought that question was covered in the "what's up" that I already answered, but hey, whatever.
"Nothin' much. Just hanging out . . . in the park, mostly."
Rory, never really being a real urban-type, named the first park that came to mind. "Central Park?"
"Washington Square Park." In my opinion, Central Park is always a little too crowded. Washington Square is quieter and a better place to read.
"Oh."
"It's cool though."
"Yes."
"It's where David Lee Roth got busted."
"Right, right. I hope he's got it together now." Typical . . .
"Sounds like you got a party going on there." And it did. I could hear the music from where I was standing in middle of a crowded street.
"No, it's just me and my mom." Sometimes just the two of them make quite a party on their own.
"Right. Okay, well, I'm gonna go. This is long distance." The operator had come in on my side of the line and told me to finish up because my time was up.
"Yeah, it is long distance." I thought I heard sadness or longing in her voice, but I didn't comment on it.
"So, see ya." I don't want to leave. Don't make me leave. Two more minutes. Please. Anything to keep talking to Rory.
"Yeah, see ya." She hangs up on the other end and I stand there, pressing the phone to my ear, wishing her to come back, but she's gone.
Not satisfied with the little time I was given, but thinking it would be foolish to call her back, I hang up the phone and walk away. I return to my bench with an empty pit in my stomach.
The memories come back and haunt me continually. All the times I could have done better. Could have been nicer. Could have not screwed things up. Could have gotten on people's good sides. Could have . . . should have . . . didn't.
Mainly, I remember Rory. However, most of those memories end with Dean. The first day I screwed up in front of Dean floats through my mind and I linger on it for a minute. It was right after I pulled the dumb prank of drawing a chalk outline on the sidewalk in front of Doose's Market.
"Should you be standing here all alone? I hear this is a pretty dangerous corner." I begin with one of my honorable sarcastic comments.
"I'm fine." However, judging by her put off tone, she doesn't see the humor.
"Feeling succinct today?"
"Pretty much."
"Hmm. Did I do something to offend?" Maybe I really did hurt her feelings and I just didn't know it.
"Me?"
"Yeah."
"No."
"Good." I hoped that hadn't been the case and was relieved when I found out I hadn't.
"You might want to ask that same question to Luke though." Ah, now we get right down to it.
"Meaning?"
"You've got this whole town down on him." This whole town being what? Fourteen people? Big deal.
"Really? How did I do that?" I threw in the dumb card and acted like I had no idea.
"You know how you did that."
"I'm not really familiar with the blue book laws in this town, so you can be talking about a lot of things. Dropping a gum wrapper, strolling arm in arm with a member of the opposite sex on a Sunday." At the time, I had been pretty proud of coming up with something that creative that fast, but now, looking back on it, I find it really stupid. She motioned down towards the outline that took me an hour to draw. "Ah. What about it?"
"You did it. The whole town knows you did it. They had a meeting about it." She had to be kidding, a meeting? Over something this trivial?
"You actually went to that bizarro town meeting? Those things are so 'To Kill a Mockingbird.'"
"Yes, I went. And Luke went. And when he got there, everyone ganged up on him. They all want you gone." Everyone, being fourteen people, right?
"Wow, bummer."
"And he's standing there yelling at everyone and defending you and paying Taylor back for his lettuce losses . . ."
"Wait, his what?"
"And now Luke's a pariah and it's all because of you! What a shock, you don't care about any of this."
Now, hold on a second! "I didn't say that."
"Go. I'm tired of talking to you." Considering I still kinda wanted to be her friend, I did as I was told, for once.
"Fine."
"You care nothing about Luke and his feelings!" She called after me, apparently not done.
I turn on my heel and smirk at her. "Got a second wind, huh?"
"All he does is stick up for you and all you do is make his life harder. I guess that's what you have to do when you're trying to be Holden Caulfield but I think it stinks. Luke has done a lot for my mom and a lot for me, and I don't like to see him attacked. Okay, second wind over." Aww, now when you put it that way . . .
"I didn't know they were coming down so hard on him."
"Funny, I never pegged you as clueless, my mistake." I'll take that as a compliment.
"Okay. I get it. No, no, I do, I get it. So did you at least think it was funny?"
"That is so not the point." Ah, but in my mind, it is.
"Ah, you thought it was funny." I smile at her briefly, knowing I had touched a nerve, when someone walked out of the market. Rory introduced him as Dean and I summed him up. He was like eight inches taller than me and looked as though he was incredibly possessive. Then, I didn't know just how possessive he could be . . .
"Boyfriend?" I asked her this while mentally praying she would say no.
"Of course." Her next action hit hard. She snuggled up close to him, like he was her blanket or something. I kept thinking, I want to be that guy. Not necessarily to be her blanket, just to be hers.
"Sorry, you didn't say. How ya doing?"
After Rory had showed him off long enough, she dismissed me to go walk with Dean.
"Okay, see you around."
"Seems to turn out that way, doesn't it?"
I smile at this last sentence as I remember it. It always did turn out that way. For the next few weeks or so, we always met each other places. Some of them I purposely set up, but some were just pure luck. One I remember having to fight for was also another time I screwed it all up with her and Dean. The time I won my first date with Rory. Note I said first. In my mind, there will be more. In hers, I'm not sure . . .
So now I'm in Washington Square Park. The storm passed so I decided to go out for a walk. I can't believe how much I miss her. I thought if I came here, went back to my old life, my old ways, I would be able to just forget that I ever knew her, ever had feelings for her. Fat chance of that. The park benches were a lot more comfortable in Stars Hollow.
I look up from where I'm slumped on my hard, steel bench. People walking in pairs or hurrying home from work pass me by and I just stare at them. A payphone catches my eye so I head over to it. Now's my chance. I put in my coins and dial a very familiar number. I wait for someone to pick up, and then I hear it. Her angelic voice.
"Hello?" Ah, Rory. Sweet, sweet Rory.
"Hi." I smile to myself but don't allow it to show in my voice. I don't hear her on the other side and panic takes over. "Hello?" Please be there!
"Hi." Thank goodness.
"Is this a bad time?" I don't mean to intrude or anything.
"Um, no, just hold on a sec?" I wait a minute and I hear the loud noise in the background quiet a little. I guess she went in another room. "Hi."
I decide to be nonchalant and respond with, "You said that already."
"I did. You're right, sorry." I love how much I can fluster her with a few simple words.
"So, what's up?" I miss her. God I miss her. If I were there right now I would know what was up. I can't believe I screwed myself out of being with her. Maybe not "being" with her, but at least getting to see her.
"Nothing. What about you?"
"Same."
"So, what have you been doing?" Personally, I thought that question was covered in the "what's up" that I already answered, but hey, whatever.
"Nothin' much. Just hanging out . . . in the park, mostly."
Rory, never really being a real urban-type, named the first park that came to mind. "Central Park?"
"Washington Square Park." In my opinion, Central Park is always a little too crowded. Washington Square is quieter and a better place to read.
"Oh."
"It's cool though."
"Yes."
"It's where David Lee Roth got busted."
"Right, right. I hope he's got it together now." Typical . . .
"Sounds like you got a party going on there." And it did. I could hear the music from where I was standing in middle of a crowded street.
"No, it's just me and my mom." Sometimes just the two of them make quite a party on their own.
"Right. Okay, well, I'm gonna go. This is long distance." The operator had come in on my side of the line and told me to finish up because my time was up.
"Yeah, it is long distance." I thought I heard sadness or longing in her voice, but I didn't comment on it.
"So, see ya." I don't want to leave. Don't make me leave. Two more minutes. Please. Anything to keep talking to Rory.
"Yeah, see ya." She hangs up on the other end and I stand there, pressing the phone to my ear, wishing her to come back, but she's gone.
Not satisfied with the little time I was given, but thinking it would be foolish to call her back, I hang up the phone and walk away. I return to my bench with an empty pit in my stomach.
The memories come back and haunt me continually. All the times I could have done better. Could have been nicer. Could have not screwed things up. Could have gotten on people's good sides. Could have . . . should have . . . didn't.
Mainly, I remember Rory. However, most of those memories end with Dean. The first day I screwed up in front of Dean floats through my mind and I linger on it for a minute. It was right after I pulled the dumb prank of drawing a chalk outline on the sidewalk in front of Doose's Market.
"Should you be standing here all alone? I hear this is a pretty dangerous corner." I begin with one of my honorable sarcastic comments.
"I'm fine." However, judging by her put off tone, she doesn't see the humor.
"Feeling succinct today?"
"Pretty much."
"Hmm. Did I do something to offend?" Maybe I really did hurt her feelings and I just didn't know it.
"Me?"
"Yeah."
"No."
"Good." I hoped that hadn't been the case and was relieved when I found out I hadn't.
"You might want to ask that same question to Luke though." Ah, now we get right down to it.
"Meaning?"
"You've got this whole town down on him." This whole town being what? Fourteen people? Big deal.
"Really? How did I do that?" I threw in the dumb card and acted like I had no idea.
"You know how you did that."
"I'm not really familiar with the blue book laws in this town, so you can be talking about a lot of things. Dropping a gum wrapper, strolling arm in arm with a member of the opposite sex on a Sunday." At the time, I had been pretty proud of coming up with something that creative that fast, but now, looking back on it, I find it really stupid. She motioned down towards the outline that took me an hour to draw. "Ah. What about it?"
"You did it. The whole town knows you did it. They had a meeting about it." She had to be kidding, a meeting? Over something this trivial?
"You actually went to that bizarro town meeting? Those things are so 'To Kill a Mockingbird.'"
"Yes, I went. And Luke went. And when he got there, everyone ganged up on him. They all want you gone." Everyone, being fourteen people, right?
"Wow, bummer."
"And he's standing there yelling at everyone and defending you and paying Taylor back for his lettuce losses . . ."
"Wait, his what?"
"And now Luke's a pariah and it's all because of you! What a shock, you don't care about any of this."
Now, hold on a second! "I didn't say that."
"Go. I'm tired of talking to you." Considering I still kinda wanted to be her friend, I did as I was told, for once.
"Fine."
"You care nothing about Luke and his feelings!" She called after me, apparently not done.
I turn on my heel and smirk at her. "Got a second wind, huh?"
"All he does is stick up for you and all you do is make his life harder. I guess that's what you have to do when you're trying to be Holden Caulfield but I think it stinks. Luke has done a lot for my mom and a lot for me, and I don't like to see him attacked. Okay, second wind over." Aww, now when you put it that way . . .
"I didn't know they were coming down so hard on him."
"Funny, I never pegged you as clueless, my mistake." I'll take that as a compliment.
"Okay. I get it. No, no, I do, I get it. So did you at least think it was funny?"
"That is so not the point." Ah, but in my mind, it is.
"Ah, you thought it was funny." I smile at her briefly, knowing I had touched a nerve, when someone walked out of the market. Rory introduced him as Dean and I summed him up. He was like eight inches taller than me and looked as though he was incredibly possessive. Then, I didn't know just how possessive he could be . . .
"Boyfriend?" I asked her this while mentally praying she would say no.
"Of course." Her next action hit hard. She snuggled up close to him, like he was her blanket or something. I kept thinking, I want to be that guy. Not necessarily to be her blanket, just to be hers.
"Sorry, you didn't say. How ya doing?"
After Rory had showed him off long enough, she dismissed me to go walk with Dean.
"Okay, see you around."
"Seems to turn out that way, doesn't it?"
I smile at this last sentence as I remember it. It always did turn out that way. For the next few weeks or so, we always met each other places. Some of them I purposely set up, but some were just pure luck. One I remember having to fight for was also another time I screwed it all up with her and Dean. The time I won my first date with Rory. Note I said first. In my mind, there will be more. In hers, I'm not sure . . .