Susan Tessio walked down the halls of Castle Rock High with an almost
monotonous demeanor; her life was so repetitive. Forever in the shadow of
her best friend, always known as 'Vern's little sister,' what was she in
life anymore? Susan was always the girl alone in the corner, staring hard
at the floor. Sure, she was fun and smiled often, but deep down inside, she
was tearing apart.
Every time Gordie passed her in the hall and she smelled that certain air about him, her head went light. She missed him so much; but he had not missed her. He was going out with Trish Giovanni, as of last night. Megan had gone over to tell her the news. Apparently, Gordie had gone over to Megan's, not knowing what else to do, and had told her. She didn't know why, Gordie and Megan had never really talked, but Susan's heart was ripped out of her chest that night.
And now, here she was, walking down the halls of her ever cliché high school. She was oblivious to the whispers around her and completely ignored people running into her. She often got run into, no one seemed to notice her. Many times, Susan tried to end her self conflicting life, but to her dismay, she had chickened out. What was wrong with her? Why did she get overlooked? Why was she this way? Did she enjoy feeling sorry for herself?
Oh God how she loved Gordie. That damn boy had stolen her heart many years ago. But what had she done so wrong? Had she given him her heart too soon?
Susan Tessio vowed, then and there in the hallway, to never love again.
You couldn't get hurt without loving.
Tears began to fall down her creamy face as she did her locker combination. What had her pathetic world come to? And over some guy? Was she really turning into nothing because of someone who didn't love her back?
Susan brushed a stray strand of her red hair out of her face just as Megan came up to her. She grinned weakly at her best friend.
"Hey," she said, trying to hide the fact that she was tearing up inside.
Megan looked at her friend and shook her head. "Susan, please, you really need-"
"Shut up. I know, I need to move on. God dammit, Megan. Have you ever been in love?" Susan looked expectantly at her friend. Megan shook her head, her blonde tresses falling neatly around her shoulders. Susan just then noticed why guys were always fawning over Megan; she may not have been beautiful or a stick figure, but she worked what she had. And she was very popular for it...and for some reason, Susan felt bitter.
"Susan, listen," Megan started. "You need to just..I don't know. Why love someone who doesn't return it?"
"I don't love him, Megan," Susan said as she closed her locker. The two began walking to the lunch room.
"Bullshit," Megan said as she grinned at a senior, Jake Hallence, who winked at her. "I know you do."
Susan felt like screaming. How could anyone tell her anything? She hated everyone, everything, even Megan. Who the hell did she think she was?
"Urggh!" Susan shrieked, rubbing her head. "You don't understand. It's I hard I."
"No it's not. Get over it."
Susan looked up at her friend with tears in her eyes. "Shut the hell up. What do you know anyways. You've never loved anyone in your whole life, so what do you know?"
Megan looked at her friend with kind compassion.
"Yes I have. And I've fallen hard. And it's hard when they don't even know you exist."
Susan stared at her friend. Megan had smoked on too many cigarettes in her short sixteen years of existance.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I wrote this chapter because I myself was tearing up. I needed to get it out...It was a release.
This chapter is dedicated to everyone out there who feels alone in this world, who feels in the 'shadow' who has feelings for someone who barely knows who they are.
This is for you.
This is for any kid who has been called a freak.
This is for any kid who didn't have a date for prom.
Who got picked last for a team.
This is for you.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Every time Gordie passed her in the hall and she smelled that certain air about him, her head went light. She missed him so much; but he had not missed her. He was going out with Trish Giovanni, as of last night. Megan had gone over to tell her the news. Apparently, Gordie had gone over to Megan's, not knowing what else to do, and had told her. She didn't know why, Gordie and Megan had never really talked, but Susan's heart was ripped out of her chest that night.
And now, here she was, walking down the halls of her ever cliché high school. She was oblivious to the whispers around her and completely ignored people running into her. She often got run into, no one seemed to notice her. Many times, Susan tried to end her self conflicting life, but to her dismay, she had chickened out. What was wrong with her? Why did she get overlooked? Why was she this way? Did she enjoy feeling sorry for herself?
Oh God how she loved Gordie. That damn boy had stolen her heart many years ago. But what had she done so wrong? Had she given him her heart too soon?
Susan Tessio vowed, then and there in the hallway, to never love again.
You couldn't get hurt without loving.
Tears began to fall down her creamy face as she did her locker combination. What had her pathetic world come to? And over some guy? Was she really turning into nothing because of someone who didn't love her back?
Susan brushed a stray strand of her red hair out of her face just as Megan came up to her. She grinned weakly at her best friend.
"Hey," she said, trying to hide the fact that she was tearing up inside.
Megan looked at her friend and shook her head. "Susan, please, you really need-"
"Shut up. I know, I need to move on. God dammit, Megan. Have you ever been in love?" Susan looked expectantly at her friend. Megan shook her head, her blonde tresses falling neatly around her shoulders. Susan just then noticed why guys were always fawning over Megan; she may not have been beautiful or a stick figure, but she worked what she had. And she was very popular for it...and for some reason, Susan felt bitter.
"Susan, listen," Megan started. "You need to just..I don't know. Why love someone who doesn't return it?"
"I don't love him, Megan," Susan said as she closed her locker. The two began walking to the lunch room.
"Bullshit," Megan said as she grinned at a senior, Jake Hallence, who winked at her. "I know you do."
Susan felt like screaming. How could anyone tell her anything? She hated everyone, everything, even Megan. Who the hell did she think she was?
"Urggh!" Susan shrieked, rubbing her head. "You don't understand. It's I hard I."
"No it's not. Get over it."
Susan looked up at her friend with tears in her eyes. "Shut the hell up. What do you know anyways. You've never loved anyone in your whole life, so what do you know?"
Megan looked at her friend with kind compassion.
"Yes I have. And I've fallen hard. And it's hard when they don't even know you exist."
Susan stared at her friend. Megan had smoked on too many cigarettes in her short sixteen years of existance.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I wrote this chapter because I myself was tearing up. I needed to get it out...It was a release.
This chapter is dedicated to everyone out there who feels alone in this world, who feels in the 'shadow' who has feelings for someone who barely knows who they are.
This is for you.
This is for any kid who has been called a freak.
This is for any kid who didn't have a date for prom.
Who got picked last for a team.
This is for you.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~