April

The next two weeks have been hectic and full of challenges. Since the green light from the Foundation, I had to gather the signatures of all of my colleagues stating their agreement to all future changes due to the implementation of my project. What was supposed to be a simple formality turned into a battle of epic proportions. Matthew – being more opposed to my idea than ever – demanded we held a discussion with voting at the end of it. He didn't hide his disdain for the Foundation's involvement and tried to persuade as many colleagues as possible to see his way. In the end, only Nicole has sided with him, out of loyalty more than reason, as it seemed to me. But the discussions went on for a couple of days, muddying the waters and turning me into the least favorite person at the clinic.

I'm sure the fact that I cut back the number of my weekly shifts at the clinic to start the work with the Foundation didn't help. So now instead of being at the clinic every other shift, I worked there only three times a week. The rest of my time was spent doing research either at the Foundation building, where I now had my own office with a breathtaking view of the city skyline, or consulting with people who had experience implementing similar programs, like women's shelters.

My married life took a turn for the worse. After having a fit upon hearing about my success with the Foundation, Matthew used silent treatment as an emotional weapon of his choice. What would've undoubtedly worked on me previously, was now proving to be ineffective. Every time I felt the urge to cave to his demands, a voice reminded me of my obligation towards Harriet. I owed it to my daughter to give her an example of a successful mother. Moreover, I wanted her to see that as a woman you were not required to abandon your dreams for the man's comfort. I wasn't naïve enough to think that Matthew would let it go. No, he was waiting me out, planning his next line of attack. I was simply too busy and stretched out as it was to spend a lot of time wondering what it could be.

The only bright spot in my life was Harriet. Pre-school was out for the summer, so every waking moment when she wasn't with her daddy or Catherine, who demanded to be allowed to spend time with her granddaughter, she was with me. Trying to create new ways to entertain her brought so much joy to my life, that every negative thought regarding Matthew was lost in the background.

I parked the car in my driveway and took two bags of groceries out of the trunk. Matthew was home, and since I had some time before going into the new office, I decided to cook something for lunch and spend some time with him. Sort of a peace offering. Harriet was with Jackson today, so it was a rare occasion when Matthew and I could talk in private.

As I was walking up the stairs of my porch, I had the weirdest sensation of being watched. A shiver crept down my spine, but I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary around me. I shook my head to break from the eerie feeling and went inside.

Matthew was sitting at the kitchen island and writing something on his phone. He seemed to be engrossed in it and didn't notice me come into the kitchen or offer to help unpack the bags.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked cheerful but was left with no answer. After putting everything in the fridge, I tried to approach him again. This time my voice sounded dry and matter-of-factly. "I'm cooking lunch, so we can eat together and talk."

"Lucky me, someone finally remembered her wifely duties," his quiet mumble still reached my ears, and after weeks of tension and passive-aggressive comments I'd had enough.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what about your duties as a husband to me!" irritation colored my cheeks red.

"I'm not the one galivanting around with another woman, forsaking my wife to do God knows what all the time I'm out the door!" he tore his eyes from his phone long enough to face me and send an angry scoff my way.

"What are you even talking about? I'm trying my best to help as many less fortunate people as I can, and you call all my efforts galivanting?"

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about! Playing dumb doesn't suit you! Out of all the people in the medical field and all the charities in the world you went to him!"

"Him? This is about Jackson again?" This argument was running in circles over and over again. No matter how many times I've said to him that I almost didn't see Jackson over these last few weeks, Matthew still pressed the issue to the point of me almost losing my sanity.

"Don't you dare say his name in my house!" the bump of his fist on the countertop caused me to jump up in surprise. I took a step back and hugged my midsection. Not noticing my discomfort, he added dismissively "I don't need this right now. I'm going out!

He slammed the door on his way out. I heard the rev of his car's engine and then everything went silent. I didn't know whether my heart was beating like crazy out of fear or anger. I decided I didn't need it either and went to work earlier.

"What do you think, Hattie? Should we take Mommy with us or is she far too busy to have some fun with us today?" Jackson's soft voice indicated him being in deep contemplation.

I looked up from the pile of documents on my table and saw my ex-husband leaning casually against the doorframe and carrying our daughter in his arms. Harriet was pressed to his left side and started waving at me and sending me air kisses. I couldn't stop the warm smile at the sight of these two.

"Daddy, take her with us!" Hattie demanded and giggled.

I felt his gaze giving me a slow once-over. The corners of his lips turned upward and he said in a deep, raspy voice: "You heard the Boss. I'm taking you with us."

"Oh yeah?" I decided to play along and adopted his playful tone. "And where pray tell, are we going?"

"To the beach. To eat some burgers, have a stroll in the sand, and start a sea-shell collection for this little munchkin here."

I gave his tailored suit pants and Italian leather loafers a skeptical look. He only laughed and continued his little game of convincing. "Oh come on! Our daughter doesn't have any sea shells for examination. It really is a scientific emergency!"

"Yeah! Not fair!" Hattie added and gave her best version of puppy dog eyes yet.

I silently regarded them both, trying my best not to let any emotion show on my face. I was going to say yes, there was no doubt in my mind about it. Harriet was the only thing keeping my sanity right now, so any chance to have her was a gift. I didn't know if Jackson could sense my stress levels rising the last couple of weeks and invited me on his time with Harriet because of it. Or maybe working together in the same building was easier to bump into each other and plan something together. Either way, I was grateful for the invite and wasn't going to let this opportunity go to waste.

"Well, as a doctor I feel it's my duty to prevent any scientific emergency from happening. I gladly accept your invitation."

I closed my laptop, took my purse, and went to the door. Jackson put Harriet down and she immediately ran towards the elevators.

"Hattie, wait up!" I said, not wanting her to accidentally use the elevator without us. There were cameras in the halls of every floor and every elevator, plus security was well aware what the only heir to the Foundation looked like, so it's not like anything could endanger Harriet here, but you never know.

"How's work treating you so far?" Jackson asked, as he gently directed me with the brush of his hand towards our daughter.

"So far so good. I have a lot of research to do to get myself acquainted with the proper procedure, but I can't believe this is really happening!" I heard an embarassing hint of squeal in my tone and cleared my throat. "So...What are you doing here? I thought you had the day off?"

"Last minute meeting required my presence. Didn't want to leave Harriet with the sitter, so brought her here. You saw the daycare here, right?"

"I did. Didn't have the chance to use it though. But it will definitely come in handy this coming week, seeing as my schedule is pretty full."

We all walked inside the elevator that was almost full of other people. My back was instantly pressed against the wall, and I grabbed Harriet and lifted her in my arms to avoid her being trampled by others. Jackson stepped towards us, angling his body in a way so that his back was facing the others and shielding us from anything. Such a small gesture, but it made my stomach flutter.

At that moment I was reminded of a truth long forgotten: only he could evoke a feeling of utter and complete safety from anyone and anything by simply being present in a room with me.

Feeling the gaze of his magnetic eyes on me and barely hiding the trembling of my body, I knew that I was well and truly screwed.