I finish saying grace and Franz starts to serve dinner. I look at the children happily eating. I can't bear to have to say goodbye to them. Hopefully the Captain finds a governess soon as I cannot be here when they wed.
Gretl looks at me smiling and says" Fraulein Maria I am so glad your back. Don't ever leave us again". I look at her and kiss her on the cheek. I can't lie to her so I just don't say anything. The Baroness laughs and says" Oh Gretl you will soon be at school and won't be needing a governess. The children stop eating and look at their father. He turns to the Baroness and says " Elsa we will talk about this later"
I am surprised at the sternness in his voice. She raises her eyebrows and says " I'm sorry Georg your right now is not the time. I see the captain look at me. I try not to look at him but my eyes are drawn to his. We stare our eyes locked. He smiles softly at me and I can't help but smile back. He looks as if he wants to tell me something but he can't. We finish dinner and Franz brings in dessert.
As we are eating dessert the Baroness starts to talk about the wedding. She talks about where it will be and who is making her dress. I look at the Captain. He says nothing. He looks at me again and I look away. The children ask if they will be a part of the wedding and she says she will have to see. I ask to be excused as I can't take her discussing the wedding. The captain stands as I get up and leave. As I attempt to go outside Liesl stops me.
"Fraulein are you alright, you seem upset" Liesl says. She is so intuitive. I wish I could tell her what is wrong but I feel she is too young.
" I guess I need some air. I will be fine, I am going to take a walk" I say heading for the doors leading to the back. Liesl walks to me and hugs me . I hold back my tears once more. She releases me and I go outside. I walk slowly across the terrace and turn towards the house as I hear the children laughing inside. I slowly walk down the stairs and head toward the gates to the lake. I look at the lake and close my eyes. My memory goes to when I was on the lake with the children and the boat tipped over. The captain and I argued and then he heard the children singing. I remember his face. That was the day he found his children again. I open my eyes and walk towards the gazebo. I see the moon reflecting on the glass walls and think what a beautiful place this is. I have only been here in the daytime. The children and I used to sing inside. Our voices would echo off the wall and it would sound wonderful. I walk thinking about what I will do when I leave here. I don't want to go back to the abbey. I don't think I will make a good nun. I see the bench and I decide to sit down.
As I sit I lean forward and begin to pray "Dear Lord please tell me what my purpose in life is. I thought I found my life but that has changed now. I need guidance-please show me.
I am startled to hear him. I am not sure if I am dreaming.
" I thought I just might find you here" he says smiling. I stand feeling very uncomfortable.
"Is there something you wanted?" I ask him.
He says" No,.... please sit" Please". I sit slowly and look away. I ask myself Why is he here? "What does he want? He sits down on the bench beside me.
"I was just wondering why did you go back to the abbey and what made you come back? he asks me. He looks at me and I want to tell him everything the Baroness said to me that night. Instead I tell him" I had an obligation to fulfill and I came back to fulfill it". He asks "is that all. I say" and I missed the children. I look at him and he says "only the children". As I look in his eyes I feel connected to him. I forget myself and say no and then I quickly change my answer to say yes. I get very nervous and say "Isn't it right that I should have missed them. I get defensive.
" Of course I was only hoping, he hesitated and leaned a little closer to me. I answered "Yes" I felt as if he was trying to tell me something but didn't know how to say it.
"Nothing was the same when you went away and it will be all wrong when you go. I thought you could change your mind" he said. I looked at him and wondered how could he ask me to stay. How could he be that cruel. As I stood up I said " I'm sure the Baroness will make things fine for you." I could not look at him. As I started to walk towards the gazebo I heard him. He said "Maria". It was the first time he called me by my first name. He continued "there isn't going to be any baroness". I stopped and he walked up beside me. Not sure of his meaning I said "I don't understand" We continued walking. He answered "We've called off our engagement." I heard what he said but for some reason it didn't register at first. We walk into the gazebo.
I say " Oh I'm sorry". Acting surprised he says "you are? I realize what he has told me " you did" was all I could say.
Looking through the glass he says softly" You can't marry someone" he looks at me smiling" when your in love with someone else, can you? Our eyes meet and my heart skips. I shake my head knowing now that he loves me.