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(Random Observation) Titling chapters is HARD.
And yes, before everyone says anything, I am a dork. I listen to the Backstreet Boys. And N* SYNC. And yet I have six Metallica CDs. Explain this to me, someone!
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The scenery flashed by his windows fast enough to cause the beginnings of a headache, but Squall stomached Zell's dubious driving skill without a word. Any commenting would bring incessant complaints about back-seat driving... Or, at least he suspected it would. He'd never actually let Zell drive...
But he wasn't surprised with the result.
Get OUTTA TH' ROAD- ah, dammit. The blond jammed on the brakes hard enough to make the tires screech. Squall winced, bracing himself a bit too late. His knees banged into the dashboard, and he inhaled sharply, eyes watering.
Zell offered apologetically.
Squall nodded with some annoyance, preparing to let that go by without further rebuke, until his mind caught up fully with the comment. he snapped incredulously. Where the Hell are we, Zell?
Zell winked at him conspiratorially. Obviously, we're someplace that has penguins, baby.
Squall stared at him in utter disbelief. His hapless companion grinned and gunned the engine again. I'm tryin' t' think of somewhere we can go, he explained somewhat sheepishly. And ya gotta admit, you haven't been much help.
I thought you had a plan, he said curtly, lifting his chin aloofly and staring out the window. Now that he noticed, there was a slight dusting of snow over the grass. Where were they...?
Hey, you're the one with the plans, Zell shrugged.
This was your idea! Squall snapped, hands clenching into quivering fists where they rested on his upper thighs. Zell could be so infuriating sometimes...! Sometimes it was impossible to remember why he even liked him at all-
But Zell was silent, instead of whining and fighting back like anybody else would, simply sliding lower in the seat and staring at the wheel, a shadow falling over his face. Yeah, I know, he said more quietly.
Squall blinked at him, then sighed softly. This was the difference. Where Irvine would whine, or Selphie would continue to argue, or Quistis would tease him, or Rinoa would accuse him of being heartless and uncaring... Zell just... backed off. Pulled back. He would go from bright and cheerful to dark and silent at a harsh word, appeasing his perceived anger however he could, always avoiding anything that could possibly lead to a confrontation between them... and it seemed so unlike him to do so. Zell was never one to back away from a fight, especially when it was over something he believed in.
He should just leave it be.
But...
Squall winced, then sighed again. Zell... I'm sorry, he managed quietly. I know you're just trying to help.
Bright blue eyes found his, and Squall cocked his head. Zell watched him cautiously for a moment, then grinned and slammed onto the gas.
I'll find us somewhere t' go! he announced cherrily.
Squall grabbed onto the seat by reflex, and was grateful he had done so when the car took the next turn on what seemed like less than two wheels. Zell fumbled absently with the radio, steering with one knee and three fingers, whistling all the while.
It was truly amazing... He always reacted like that. Zell drew back into that darkness whenever Squall was too sharp with him, then bounded back like nothing had happened at the first indication that he wasn't mad anymore. He was like a puppy, sometimes, in demeanor as well as energy level.
He didn't understand it... not at all. Zell seemed as transparent as a window sometimes, and yet... in that one sense, the look in his eyes sometimes... He didn't understand it. And it bothered him to no end that he didn't understand it. He... he wanted to understand Zell.
Because he had the eerie feeling Zell understood him.
All too well.
There had been a time he had hated that. He had hated the mere thought that someone had made it far enough inside his boundaries to understand things he couldn't make sense of himself. That someone could burrow so deep into his heart that he would risk his life and happiness for them.
He cared about Zell. And it would be one thing to have a secret fondness for him and have it be just that- secret. But unlike those who professed to know his heart and were secure in his friendship... Zell... Zell took nothing for granted where he was concerned. If he told Zell he hated him and never wanted to see him again, he wouldn't argue. He might believe differently, but... for some reason... He would accept it. Where anyone else would protest, he would simply hang his head and walk away.
And that would be it.
And he couldn't bring himself to take that chance.
But one day... one day, he was going to figure him out. If it took the rest of his life, he would figure out Zell Dincht.
Zell's voice broke into his thoughts, and Squall started up from leaning against the cool window. How about we head over to Winhill? We could take that ferry we found a while ago, that should take us right over there.
Why Winhill? he inquired, stomach twisting a little. Winhill... where he had been born... Where he had seen the ghost of the woman who was his mother...
I dunno, it's pretty there. And quiet, and I know you like quiet places. Sides, there were some old houses that no one lived in anymore... His voice softened, turning more considering, almost hesitant. And... you said you didn't have anywhere t' go, and I was thinking... maybe we could get a house. In Winhill, y'know... and then use it on vacations, just to get away for a while.
Just the two of us...? Squall whispered, lips fighting to twist into a smile. The way he had said it... the quiet longing in his suddenly-serious voice, the sparkle in his deep blue eyes, the twitching of his fingers on the steering wheel...
Zell jumped, then to his astonishment, his cheeks darkened slightly, and he coughed. Oh, uh... heh... Sorry, that was stupid. I meant, um... I meant, just a place for you... y'know, t' go to when you have vacation...
The urge was irresistable, and Squall nearly smiled again.
No, you didn't. That's not what you meant.
It is TOO! Zell protested, squirming in his seat. C'mon, gimme a break. You wanna go look for a place or not?
Squall rubbed at his temples, considering. It would be something to do... and though his heart was fluttering in his chest for reasons he couldn't explain, reasons he attributed to fear of returning to his birthplace again. Why not? he muttered, then settled back into his seat. Do you remember where the ferry landing is?
I think so... Zell grinned at him, then spun the volume dial up on the radio until the doors vibrated with the bass. Squall winced. His choice of station wasn't really one he would agree with, but he staunchly refused to complain. Besides, Zell seemed to be having fun...
AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HEARTACHE- TELL ME WHYYYYY... the blond was belting out, voice surprisingly good. I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY...
Squall sighed and looked out the window again. He had gotten himself into this of his own free will... so he had no one to blame.
And God help him if he actually started to enjoy this...
I WANT IT THAT WAY!!!
Squall covered his face with one hand. There was no doubt in his mind that this was how Zell wanted things...
But he didn't want things this way... he didn't. He couldn't. Not two months in a house, just the two of them... Seeing Zell every day... seeing his smiling face every morning at breakfast, knowing that he would always be there. He would always be there... always dependable, always there with a smile and a joke and a reassuring pat or hug when he refused to admit he needed it...
He took a glance at his companion, fought back yet another smile, then sighed heavily. This was so unlike him... so unlike everything he had tried so hard to be...
But something was beginning to tell him he did want things this way.