"Wow......so.....wow....." Willow stammered as she looked in amazement at William who was kissing the back of Tara's hand.

Buffy nodded. "I know."

"We would have stuck around if we had known.....as it was, we just thought you'd be gone all night." Tara shyly drew her hand back.

"No big. He wasn't really in a good place last night. Or this morning for that matter." Buffy drew Willow away from the living room. In a hushed voice she asked, "So can you fix him? I mean, he's got multiple personality disorder, he's really not handling it all very well. Is there anything we can do?"

"Hmm, well I think it's actually called dissociative identity disorder now. DID for short. I think in the DSMV-IV they....." Willow stopped when she saw Buffy frown. "Uh, right, that doesn't matter right now. Well, I brought all the research material I could find at the library, and some of the course books I kept."

Buffy looked at her incredulously. "You *kept* your college books? Man, I couldn't sell mine back fast enough."

Willow sniffed indignantly. "Well, I bet *some*one is glad I kept them now, aren't they?"

Buffy smiled and took a couple of books from Willow. "I am indeed grateful for your.....educational enthusiasm."

As Buffy walked back to the living room, she heard William exclaim, "Intriguing!"

Buffy chuckled and raised her eyebrows. "Just what's so 'intriguing'?"

William strided quickly up to Buffy and pointed at Tara. "Do you know that your friends are actual witches? Isn't that amazing? And nothing at all like I would have pictured....."

Buffy put her hand on William's arm. "Yes, I did know that. And shouldn't you have known that too? I mean, Spike has known it for a long time."

William looked very confused. "Yes.....I suppose I should have been aware. But for some reason, it is a surprise to me. I wonder......I wonder why I have certain memories and not others. Certainly this wouldn't have been a painful memory to have. Unless, perhaps......have they ever done a spell on me?" William looked accusingly at Tara.

Tara pointed to Willow. "She did, not me! And long before I came a long!"

Buffy intervened. "Yes, there was a spell.....but it's nothing Spike would want to forget. As a matter of fact, it's one of his favorite memories. The first times we kissed." William's brow furrowed. "It was a love spell. Spike and I, well, you and I or.....ok, this is really confusing. Let's just skip it and get to researching."

Willow piped in. "Hey, just for clarification, it wasn't a *love* spell. It was a marriage spell. Any love present was not my doing."

Buffy chuckled. "No, no real love present. Those were the days of intense hatred." She turned to William. "That would be the era that was post- homicidal and pre-moony. Well, somewhat pre-homicidal..." William nodded his head uncertainly. "Anyway, let's get to researching! Where are Anya and Xander?"

"Oh, Xander's on his way. Anya said she'd close the store today to help if we needed her, but we told her this was less magicky and more psychological, and she kind of lost interest." Willow sat on the coffee table in front of William, making him noticeably uncomfortable.

Buffy sighed. "We may need some of both today."

"Ok, William? I'm gonna ask you some questions so I can get an idea of where to start, ok?" Willow readied her pen and pad.

William straightened in his seat and looked at Buffy. She came around and sat beside him. "It's ok. She just wants to get some info so we can help......you."

William stammered a bit. "Well, y-yes, but as I told you before, some things.....I'm just not able to discuss either for lack of knowledge or.....well, some things are not for others to know," he said, showing some resolve.

"Ok, we don't want to push. This is obviously a very tense situation. Just answer what you're comfortable answering. Ok?"

William pondered this for a moment, looking worried. His face brightened when Giles entered with a hot cup of tea. "It's not what you're used to, I'm sure. But we have to make do here. Bloody colonials never did know how to make a decent spot of tea." Giles smiled as William accepted the cup with a chuckle.

Slightly more at ease, William nodded at Willow. "Alright, Ms....."

"Uh, Rosenberg."

"Ms. Rosenberg. I'm prepared for your inquiry."

"Ok, good! Alright, what's the first memory *you* have of being separate?"

William frowned in thought. "I would say.....oh yes, I remember finding myself on a dark street. No, an alley more like. It was raining. I was very confused as to how I had gotten there, having no memory of anything previous. I wandered around a long while, hours perhaps. Some features seemed vaguely familiar. I was wondering what had caused my loss of memory when I felt.....him. He was struggling to the surface. I felt a change within myself, but almost washing over me. And in the few moments before I was pushed down, it all made sense to me. I quickly, and I should say rather overwhelmingly, regained a good deal of our memories. Like looking at a Van Gogh painting, if you look too close it's just random colors and swirls. But if you step back, you see, quite literally, the big picture. That's how it was for me. When the memories flooded my mind, I knew I was him. Or that I had been him, but at that moment I was somehow separate. And I understood my function, too. Something that took him a while longer to discern, I think. He wasn't......or rather isn't too happy when I'm in control. To be sure, he's relieved initially, but when he gets his fire back, he refuses to be held down. Quite comical sometimes, actually." William chuckled to himself.

Willow jotted down some notes before looking up again at him. "Where were you? Did you ever figure that out?"

"Oh, yes. I was in Naples. Italy. Never figured why I was there, though. We wandered around the city for a few days, struggling back and forth, he and I. But it quickly became less of a struggle when I just accepted my role. Control wasn't as important to me as it was, I should say *is*, to him. And well, as I'm sure you know, when he's feeling tip top, there's no holding him back. But he never stays that way for very long. And in those first few days.....weeks perhaps, I found myself in control quite a bit. I think, well, I'm certain that the soul triggered quite an onslaught of memories for him. The guilt was nearly unbearable those first days. So palpable, even *I* felt it. I had some of the guilt, but not the memories. Slowly, I lost the guilt. Unfortunately, I gained some of the memories. But I feel I have a different perspective than he. I almost feel like the very few.....things that I can remember.....well, I feel that I took part in some way, but that I'm not really responsible. Whereas I think he feels the complete weight of all the events. Tragic really. I feel his pain when he calls for me. Anyway, after that very turbulent period, we just....." William turned and smiled at Buffy, "It was all about you. He wanted to find you. We both did. We knew that no matter what happened, you had to be a part of it." He turned back to Willow. "It was shortly thereafter that we concluded the best course of action was to end our life. Or rather, he concluded and I concurred. We called Buffy to come.....kill us. She came and.....well, didn't. And that, my dear Ms. Rosenberg, is how I find myself conversing with you." William gave her a polite smile and looked down at his hands.

"Wow.....this is.....hmmm.....Do you remember any of the events immediately before the separation?"

William shook his head. "None. Unfortunately, the memories I do have are rather random. I thought at first that I should really not have any unpleasant memories of our life. But I do have some. And others, which should probably be very good memories.....I don't have those."

"Amazing.....this could be PTSD induced DID. I'd say getting your soul back is pretty traumatic. I'll have to check the manual again, but that would be my best bet."

"Willow, what is the next step?" Giles asked quietly from the corner of the room.

"Um, well, ideally we could isolate the memory that caused the separation."

"But it's not just one memory, Will. It's all the people Spike's killed. It's a ton of memories. How can you isolate them?"

"Well, that's not really what I meant. More like, isolating memory of the event that caused the separation. Or rather the catalyst to the flood of guilt, you know? Like, if we could figure out just how Spike got his soul back, we could work with that, maybe. I mean, Angel didn't go all splitty when he got his soul. There's got to be something different here."

Buffy looked down. "What if the different thing is just Spike?"

Willow shrugged. "It might be, but we need to find out. If we can, there might be a possibility of integrating the two personalities back into one."

William spoke up. "While I realize that is the goal of this research, perhaps we're being a bit hasty. I'm here because he can't handle the memories. If we become one again, there will be the memories and the guilt, but no relief. Perhaps you should look into finding a way to help us with the guilt after we are no longer separated. I think it's important to have a plan before acting on anything."

Willow frowned and nodded. "You're right. We really should have a plan." She turned to Buffy. "And I think maybe we can work on that too at the same time. Maybe there's a key to relieving his guilt.....inside. If I can......go inside his mind. Like I did with you before you.....well, ya know.....If I can see what William can't, maybe we can figure out where to go from here."

William stiffened. "Oh, I don't think he likes that idea.......oh my.....you might want to......remove yourself from his vicinity......." William closed his eyes tightly and laid his head on his knees for a moment, making small whimpers that turned slowly into growls.

Buffy took a deep breath and gave a strained smile. She leaned over and rubbed his back, whispering soothingly in his ear, "Spike? Baby, you there?"

Without notice, Spike flew up, game face on. "Look, witch, you are not mucking around in my brain. I don't care how much you lot like Sweet William, he's not letting you in. I won't let him!" Spike stormed from the room and ran upstairs. After Buffy's bedroom door slammed, they heard extremely loud music come on. The stations switched a few times before it stopped on something appropriately crude and noisy.

Willow stood stunned, Tara patting her gently. "Well.....that was a little....."

"Disconcerting," Giles supplied.

"I was gonna say 'wiggy' but that works too," Willow managed to say.

The front door opened and Xander came in with some bags. "Hey all! I come bearing donuts. So do we have a new soulboy or what?"

Buffy started up the stairs and without a backward glance said, "I think right now it's 'or what'."

Xander looked at his dumbstruck friends. "What'd I miss?"

**

R&R Por favor!