Buffy paused before knocking on the door. It was obvious he was mad. But was he too mad to talk to her? Just as she raised her knuckles to the door, he yelled, "Go away, Slayer!"

Slayer. He was mad. And mad at her. Or at least mad enough to take it out on her in the worst way possible--shutting her out. So she did the only other thing she could think to calm him down.

**

The door opened with a creak and before Spike could yell again, a little furry head poked in. Spike sighed and turned the music off. "Hey there, pet. Long time no see." Summer bounded in the room and jumped into his lap as he sat on the bed. "Where've you been, girl?

"Basement. She and Giles didn't really get along. It wasn't pretty," Buffy said as she slipped into the room.

Spike's expression instantly went cold when he heard her voice. He refused to look at her. "Look, I know this is your room 'n all, but I'd like to be alone."

"Spike.....please talk to me."

"Got nothin' to say, Slayer."

"Stop calling me that. Look, I can see you're mad about what happened--"

"No!" he cut in. "Not what happened, what you *want* to happen. You wanna let Red go muckin' around in my brain. I know I'm screwed up, but there's gotta be another way." Spike kept petting Summer as Buffy took a seat next to him.

"Look, we're going to keep looking for other ways. But I figured you'd like to be.....back to normal as soon as possible."

Spike sighed and shook his head. "Never be back to normal....."

"Well, no one's normal, but we gotta try, ya know?" Buffy tried for a little chuckle, it fell flat. "And I'll have Willow keep looking. It's only a first step. We'll research it heartily. It's what we Scoobies do!"

Spike shrugged. "'f you say so, luv."

"Ah, I got a 'luv' out of him. The ice must be melting a little." Buffy elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

"Sorry. I guess I got a little drama queen there, eh?"

It was Buffy's turn to shrug. "The whole situation is drama, Spike. I don't think we're gonna escape it any time soon."

"I know, " Spike said quietly. "Uh, by the way, nice job of scaring.....the old me to death this morning. You think *he* ever got sucked off?"

Buffy blushed. "Yeah, sorry about that. I just kinda thought......"

"Uh huh. Well, not that I don't appreciate the thought, pet, but that's also one of the reasons I wanted to go a bit slower. Never know when that wanker will show up, and morning seems to be one of his favorite times anyway." Spike chuckled and shook his head.

"What?" Buffy frowned.

"Just imagining his reaction if he came up while we were, uh.....doin' that thing you had never done before.....ya know, from behind, but....."

Buffy laughed. "Since when have *you* been shy when it comes to talking about sex?"

Spike hung his head. "Soddin' ponce is comin' out in more ways than one. Anyway, I don't figure he'd fancy that. He'd think it some unnatural abomination, I'm sure."

"Well, what reason would he have to come out if we were.....doing that? It's not *that* traumatic, is it? I mean, it was for me at first, but I kinda warmed up to it," Buffy gave him a little smirk.

Spike shook his head and couldn't help but smile at her. "No, I don't imagine he'd have any reason to come out. Except the fact that he's as in love with you as I am. Now that we're separate, I think he's wanting to make time with you now too. Don't like fighting for your attention, even if it *is* with myself."

Buffy leaned her head on his shoulder. "Not to worry. I only have eyes for you.....and him," she giggled.

"Uh huh. So you like him, or what?" Spike asked a little too coarsely.

"What do you mean? Sure I like him. He's you, isn't he?"

"Yeah, but.....I mean, don't you think he's a little.....poofy?"

"What? Being polite and well spoken constitutes 'poofy' now?"

"Oh, so you like him better? Maybe you wish I'd stay gone when he comes, huh?" Spike stood up and put Summer down on the bed. He ran his fingers through his hair and walked over to the window.

Buffy went to him, running her hand up and down his back. "Spike, it's not a matter of liking him better. It's all you. You said so yourself. And he's great, but I don't think I could put up with him 24/7. Especially if he wasn't willing to do that.....thing....." Spike let out a little snort at that. "He's just the much softer side of Spike. And I like the rougher side of Spike too. I like both sides. And everything in the middle. It's the whole you I want. That's why I kind of wanted to get this show on the road with the.....merging or whatever we'll have to do. I want my Spike back."

"'m just a little afraid. Afraid that if you put us back together, I'll be different. There'll be more him than before. Maybe you won't like that. Maybe *I* won't like that."

"I'll like whatever comes out. I wouldn't say no to a poem every now and then, and you've flat refused me. Said you don't do that kind of thing anymore. Big Bad and all. I bet if I asked William, he'd write a poem for me."

"Yeah, but it wouldn't be any good."

"If it came from the heart, it would be wonderful."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Pfft, says you!"

"Spiiiiiikey.....would you write me a poem?"

Spike shrugged. "Sure, I'll just copy someone else's. Not like you'd know."

Buffy frowned. "I don't think any of those old writers you know ever rhymed anything with 'Buffy'."

Spike shook his head and chuckled. Then he turned to her, his face serious. "What now?"

"Well.....we keep researching. Or start, rather. And just try to find some *other* way of.....working through it all."

Spike nodded. "I'm sorry, luv. I just can't.....the idea of anyone gettin' in my head. Especially with the state it's in. I just can't stand it. Too many people in there already."

Buffy slid her arms around his waist and pulled him in for a hug. "Don't worry about it. We'll figure something out. I promise."

As Spike was tightly returning the hug, Summer came up and rubbed her side against his leg, purring. He looked down and smiled. "Guess I've neglected you for a while, huh?"

Buffy pouted. "She's not the only one."

Before he realized what he was doing, Spike leaned in and nibbled Buffy's jutted lower lip. She responded quickly by pressing her lips firmly against his. The kiss was gentle, but conveyed all the longing they'd both held for one another in the months of Spike's absence. When Spike pulled back, he looked very hungry. "Not sure that's such a good idea.....the kissing....."

Buffy hadn't realized that she had closed her eyes until she opened them to find Spike's lust-filled eyes upon her. "Why not?" Spike gently pressed himself into her, letting her feel his arousal. "Oh," she said simply.

"Was also thinking maybe I should go back to my crypt. Don't fancy sleepin' next to you and not being...with you. And I can't be with you just yet, as much as I want to."

Buffy smiled and looked down between them. "Obviously. But I'm not letting you out of my sight. You're going to stay here." As Spike pulled back to argue, she cut him off quickly. "NO. This is not up for discussion. Spike, something serious is going on here, and I'm not going to wonder where you are or how you're doing. I want you here. If you don't want to sleep with me, that's fine. You can have the couch or we can set up a cot in the basement, seeing as it's more crypt-like. But you're not leaving. I'm putting my foot down."

Spike shook his head, realizing the futility of arguing with her. "Alright, but I really can't...." he nodded toward the bed.

"That's fine, we'll figure something else out. Now, why don't you spend some quality time with Summer, who, might I say was really bitchy the entire time you were gone."

"Yeah, well, gettin' locked up in a basement will do that to a gal."

"Hey! I took good care of her. Just when she and Giles were at odds, and at night.....the basement is fine. If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for her," Buffy protested as she walked toward the door.

Spike smiled. "Ok, ok. I'll be down in a bit. Uh, tell Red 'm sorry about flippin' out on her."

"Will do. Take your time." Buffy gave him a wink as she closed the door behind her.

**

Please R&R!