AN: I wasn't planning on putting out another one of these so quickly, but I came down with a terminal case of goofy ideas. I should probably see a doctor about that, but the end result was that the chapter basically wrote itself. So that's cool. Mildly annoying, but ffnet doesn't seem to be saving formatting right now, so if you want to read this chapter with italics and bolding and whatnot, read it on ao3. Otherwise, enjoy.
In clear defiance of the laws of space and time, Ronnie abruptly manifest behind Sid just as the brunette began to lean over the guard railing, her eyes darting downward in eager anticipation of what sights may lay in southern Lincoln County. Sadly for her, these designs were handily foiled as one of her arms was suddenly seized by Ronnie's vice-like grip. Sid let out a squeak of surprise, mingled with an almost imperceptible dash of agony as she was suddenly lifted into the air, then placed unceremoniously upon the ground once more. When the pain fog lifted, she found that Ronnie was now leaning against the guard railing, facing her, with her arms crossed. Looking for all the world like she was playing the role of bouncer for the still confused-looking Loud boy.
"How's it going, Ronnie Anne?" Sid chirped cheerfully, discretely wrenching her shoulder back into its socket with a flick of her torso.
"I dunno, Sid," said her friend, her narrowed eyes betraying the calmness of her reply. "You're the one who ran in here screaming. Remember?"
"Oh." Said Sid, blinking uncomprehendingly. Then her eyes widened. "Ooooooooooooh! Right! I need help! Desperately!"
"That sounds a little more—WOAH!" Ronnie's response was abruptly cut off as the brunette grabbed her and flung her aside.
"And this is perfect because Lincoln's here! Just the person I need!"
"Hurrah," Ronnie wheezed, slightly dazed at having found her face firmly planted in the ground. With a heave, the hoodied girl threw herself upward and landed on her feet, only slightly stumbling as she found her footing. Then, she spun around, fully intent on intervening once more if the situation called for it. Fortunately, the situation was significantly more tame than it had been before, if no less puzzling. Again, Sid was peering up at Lincoln, but this time her eyes were shining with hope and relief. And probably several other things, but nothing that was setting off her Lincoln sense.
"UUUUH…?" To be fair, Lincoln's response was probably the best one could do given the rapid-fire turn of events that had unfolded within the last few minutes.
"Oooh!" Sid squeaked in delight. "And Carlota's here too! That's even more perfect! Hiiiiiiii Carlota!"
"HEY THERE, LIL' CHANG", Carlota giggled in response, carefully sidling on over and leaning down closer to the balcony. She wrapped one arm around Lincoln's waist, presumably to steady herself, but it failed to escape Ronnie's notice that Lincoln's face jerked to the side as certain the motion brought certain parts of her cousin far closer to the boy than was socially acceptable.
Free again! And now we can—CURSES!
Ronnie shook out her now throbbing hand, trying to relieve the sudden tension that had quite literally gripped it, and tried to focus on the conversation at hand.
"Blee bluh blooo bloop!" Sid exclaimed at the two giants, gesturing emphatically with her whole body. "Bloop bloo blee blooh!"
Fortunately, it seemed she hadn't missed anything.
Confirming her assumption, Lincoln and Carlota exchanged confused glances, each shrugging, seemingly as uncomprehending as Ronnie herself was.
"YOU...UH...YOU WANT TO TRY THAT AGAIN, SID?" Lincoln suggested, turning back to the comparatively miniature girl. "BUT WITH WORDS?"
"Oh, right," Sid chortled, gently bopping herself on the head. "That would probably make this way easier."
Sid took a deep breath, then exhaled, fixing the pair with a gaze that was disturbingly free of any trace of silliness.
"I need to know how you two became Upscaled." She said, her head frantically darting to and fro from one titan to the other. "Please!"
This odd request prompted another exchange of confused glances.
"WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THAT?" Carlota asked.
"Because I need to become Upscaled!" Sid replied, pleading. "And fast!"
"YOU...WANT...TO BE UPSCALED?" Lincoln asked after a moment of silence, looking to Carlota for her take on things.
"YEAH...TRUST ME, HON, YOU REALLY DON'T." Agreed the older girl. "IT'S NOT AS FUN AS IT PROBABLY LOOKS. LIKE, YOU HAVE TO BE REALLY CAREFUL ABOUT WHERE YOU STEP. AND THEY STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE SHOES FOR US."
Carlota wiggled her toes demonstratively.
"PLUS, YOU CAN'T GO TO THEME PARKS," Lincoln added. "OR A LOT OF OTHER FUN PLACES. THEY FINALLY STARTED REFURBISHING DRIVE-INS SO WE CAN GO TO THE MOVIES AGAIN, BUT THAT TOOK A LONG TIME TO GET GOING."
"YOU'RE ALWAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO," Carlota pursed her lips thoughtfully. "THOUGH, I GUESS THAT'S NOT ALWAYS A BAD THING."
"YOU NEED TO CONSTANTLY BE REQUISITIONING SUNBLOCK SINCE THERE'S NOT A WHOLE LOT OF SHADE FOR US. WHICH WAS HORRIBLE BEFORE THE GOVERNMENT STARTED SUBSIDIZING OUR NEEDS."
"YOU CAN'T GO SHOPPING," Carlota grumbled, shaking her head in annoyance. "BUT...DON'T TELL MY BOSSES I COMPLAINED ABOUT THAT SINCE OUR WHOLE BUSINESS MODEL DEPENDS ON THAT."
"PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS POSTING CANDID PHOTOS OF YOU TO SWIFTYPIC."
"YOU'RE ALWAYS GETTING ASKED ABOUT THE WEATHER."
"THE JAPANESE SELF-DEFENSE FORCE ATTACKS YOU ON SIGHT."
Carlota's mouth was opened, ready to add another nugget of wisdom to the conversation, but instead, she turned to the younger boy, one eyebrow raised in surprise. "SERIOUSLY?"
"YEAH," Lincoln nodded, wincing slightly. "KIND OF A LONG STORY. BUT THEY APOLOGIZED FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING."
"Look! Guys!" Sid shouted, trying to get the pair's attention. "I get that you can probably keep up this bit for a good while, but time's a factor here! Please! I really need your help!"
Another silent exchange occurred between the Upscaleds, followed by a mutual shrug.
"LOOK, SID," Lincoln began, apologetically. "I'M SORRY, BUT THERE REALLY ISN'T MUCH TO TELL. EVEN LISA HASN'T FIGURED OUT HOW, OR WHY IT HAPPENS, AND SHE'S GOT A WHOLE TEAM WORKING UNDER HER NOW. IT JUST...HAPPENS."
"YEAH," Carlota nodded in agreement. "THEY'VE ALREADY WORKED OUT THAT IT'S NOT A DISEASE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. AND EVEN IF IT WAS, I WASN'T ANYWHERE NEAR ROYAL WOODS WHEN IT HAPPENED TO ME. I WAS LITERALLY IN THE NEXT ROOM FROM YOU GUYS, AND NOT DOING ANYTHING NOTEWORTHY. IT JUST AS EASILY COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ONE OF YOU."
"I wish it had!" Sid groaned, stamping her foot in frustration. "I've tried everything, but nothing works!"
There was an extended beat of silence.
"WHEN YOU SAY 'EVERYTHING'," Lincoln began, curious. "WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN?"
"I mean everything!" Sid shouted, counting on her fingers. "I tried shadowing Carlota, living out of her old room for a while, dressing like her—"
"I'm sorry," Ronnie interjected. "But...when the heck did this happen?"
"I tried rolling around in her new clothes," Sid continued. "I even tried licking her—"
"EW!" Carlota exclaimed. "ALSO, DO ANY OF THESE NOT INVOLVE ME?"
"Well, Lincoln lives really far away," Sid explained, nodding at the pale-haired boy. "And you're the only other Upscaled I have easy access to."
Carlota frowned thoughtfully. "BUT WHAT ABOUT—"
"Not her!" Sid hissed, glancing around fearfully. "Anybody but her! Please, I need this! I even tried drinking a gallon of Flippees! Literally a whole gallon!"
"HER WHO?" Lincoln asked, confused. "AND ALSO, WHY FLIPPEES?"
"Flip's Food and Fuel put out that commercial recently," Sid explained. "The one with that disclaimer saying they're not responsible for any sudden growth spurts that might be caused by excessive Flippee consumption. Which, coincidentally, came out right before they opened up a Flip's Express here in town.
"The one that the health inspector graded a 'Q' before it even opened?" Ronnie asked, incredulously.
"I thought it was worth a shot."
"I GUESS THERE'S...A SORT OF SENSE IN THAT." Lincoln admitted. "KIND OF. BUT AGAIN, WHO IS IT YOU'RE—"
"SID CHANG!" Boomed a thunderous voice, causing the girl in question to squeal in terror. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! YOU'D BETTER COME OUT RIGHT NOW!"
"Help, me!" Sid mouthed to Lincoln.
Lincoln Loud had seen a lot of weird things in his life, and that strange propensity had only been exacerbated by the onset of the Upscale phenomenon. But this was definitely one for the books.
There was now a titanic child standing outside the Casagrandes' apartment building. Inhumanly large, and exuding a palpable aura of menace in spite of her youth—
"Quit hiding, Sid! This isn't funny!"
—and yet, in clear defiance of her imposing stature, she wasn't tall enough to look upon the balcony, coming up ever so short, much to her obvious annoyance. Craning her head wasn't enough to make up the difference, nor was standing on her tiptoes. Finally, clearly fed up with the lack of visual and aural feedback her demands were getting, she crouched low, and leaped into the air!
...but it still wasn't enough—
THOOM
—and as she landed, the impact set off the alarms of all the cars parked nearby, adding that much more insult to injury. Until this point, Lincoln had been content to simply stand there, observing with a bemused smile on his face. But seeing the obvious frustration on the girl's face caused his big brother instincts to kick in.
"Everything okay, Adelaide?" He asked, waving at the younger girl to get her attention. The younger Chang sibling whirled around, scowling. But after catching sight of him, the scowl was immediately replaced by a big smile.
"Lincoln!" She shouted happily and dashed towards him with her arms outstretched.
And that triggered a different set of instincts in him. Lincoln hadn't been exaggerating about how frequently he'd found himself ending up on other people's social media accounts. Like all Upscaleds, Lincoln tended to draw attention no matter where he went. However, as the sole male Upscaled, his actions were far more heavily scrutinized, particularly when it came to his interactions with the female Upscaled population. It was bad enough that he and Lucy were involved now, and that the exact nature of their relationship (as well as those he had with his other Upscaled sisters) was a popular topic of discussion among the overly curious. And at least there he had the benefit of Lucy being wise beyond her years, and also now looking older than she actually was. Adelaide, presumably as a consequence of being even younger, still looked more or less the same as he'd remembered her looking (albeit more shabbily dressed, due to the generally lower quality of clothing available to Upscaleds), and the absolute last thing he needed in his life was for a bunch of pictures to pop up on social media featuring him sharing a tender embrace with a literal child, to say nothing of the rampant speculation that would invite.
To that end, Lincoln neatly sidestepped the Chang-sibling's charge, and instead affectionately patted her on the head. Adelaide seemed momentarily confused as to this turnabout, but she quickly shrugged it off, seemingly still pleased by Lincoln's alternative greeting.
"Now, what's this about?" Lincoln asked, concluding the greeting ritual by tousling her brunette mane, eliciting a giggle from the younger girl.
"I'm supposed to get Sid," Adelaide explained, her frown returning at the reminder of their present circumstances. "But…"
Adelaide gestured weakly at the still too-tall balcony.
"Looks like she found your weak spot," Lincoln observed.
"She always does this!" Spat the younger Chang, stamping her foot in annoyance.
CRUNCH
Lincoln winced at the all too familiar sound of glass and metal being crunched underfoot but decided not to say anything. At least it meant there was one less car alarm blaring.
Suddenly, Adelaide pivoted toward Lincoln, her eyes wide with excitement.
"Hey, Lincoln!" She exclaimed, pointing first to the balcony, then to herself. "Do you think you could…"
She gestured at her hips, making circular motions. Yeah, that wasn't happening.
"Yeah, that's not happening." Said Lincoln, prompting a perplexed look from the younger girl.
"Let me handle this," Announced Carlota, motioning for Lincoln to step aside so she could sidle into position.
"Thank you, Carlota!" Adelaide said with a big smile.
"Any time, Lil Chang."
Carlota grabbed the younger girl around the waist and effortlessly lifted her up into the air, finally granting her access to the balcony.
Lincoln, now turning his attention back to the apartment, saw that Sid had mysteriously vanished. Though, there was a suspicious, trembling patch of brunette hair sticking out from behind a thoroughly irate-looking Ronnie Anne. Adelaide gestured for Ronnie to move aside, and the Santiago girl did so without an ounce of hesitation, exposing the "deception", such as it was.
"GOTCHA!" Adelaide cried triumphantly, as she reached down and snatched up her sister, as easily as she might have selected a doll to play with.
"Let! Me! Go!" Sid shouted, frantically struggling against the hand that now encircled her, but unsurprisingly, she was unable to overpower her gigantic sibling.
"NO!" Adelaide boomed, admonishing the smaller girl with her finger. "MOM SAID YOU HAVE TO FINISH YOUR CHORES BEFORE YOU CAN PLAY WITH RONNIE ANNE! AND THAT MEANS HELPING ME CLEAN MY HOUSING UNIT!"
"But I dun wanna!" Sid wailed, continuing to struggle in vain. "Ronnie! Lincoln! Carlota! Heeeeeeelp!"
The named trio silently contemplated the situation, and seemingly in unison agreed to collectively wash their hands of the matter.
"SO, ADELAIDE," Asked Carlota, jerking her head towards the ground. "WE DONE HERE NOW?"
"JUST ONE MORE THING BEFORE I GO," Adelaide said apologetically, before turning her attention to the hoodied girl still standing off to the side. "RONNIE ANNE?"
"Y-yeah?" Ronnie quickly replied, suddenly nervous in the face of the stern look the young Upscaled was now directing at her, which magnified considerably as Adelaide jabbed one titanic finger at her, the digit coming to rest only milometers away from Ronnie's body.
"TELL CARL I'M COMING BACK THIS AFTERNOON!" She said, waggling her finger for emphasis. "AND WHEN I DO, HE'D BETTER BE READY FOR OUR TEA PARTY!"
"S-sure thing, Adelaide," Said Ronnie, nodding emphatically as she did so. Apparently satisfied with the response, Adelaide turned her attention back to the eldest of the group.
"OKAY CARLOTA," She said, "YOU CAN PUT ME DOWN NOW."
Carlota gently placed the younger girl on the ground. Taking a moment to make sure she still had a tight grip on her still-struggling sister, Adelaide turned to the group and waved at them.
"BYE LINCOLN! BYE CARLOTA! THANKS FOR THE HELP!"
And with that, the little girl skipped off down the street.
"Noooooo!" Sid wailed, as she was carried off against her will. "It's not faaaaair! I'm supposed to be the big sister!"