**Opening Music Plays**
Setsuna-sama - Welcome to a special British edition of Celebrity Death Match, ladies and gentlemen! Setsuna Meioh here, along side my co-host Hotaru Tomoe. We are subbing for Nick Diamond and that one dude whose name I don't recall.
Hotaru-chan - YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
**Large anime sweat drops on Setsuna's head**
Setsuna-sama - Ummmm…yes. Anyway…tonight's match will be the best ever!
Hotaru-chan - Usagi Tsukino vs. Chibi-Usa Tsukino!
Setsuna-sama - Yeah! And they are fighting for control of Tuxie Boy-er I mean Mamoru Chiba!
Hotaru-chan - Uh huh…can I get a damn brown lemon over here!
Servant - Yes Hotaru-chan right away!
**Servant rushes off to get Hotaru a brown lemon**
Setsuna-sama - Couldn't that have waited till after the show?
Hotaru-chan - Hey! You got a cocktail with an umbrella last time we subbed for someone, so I get some fucking brown lemons all right!
Setsuna-sama - Oh fine…oh! Here comes our first dumbass-er challenger! Welcome Usagi Tsukino to the Death Match ring!
**Crowd starts throwing popcorn buckets and cups of Dr. Pepper at Usagi**
Usagi - OW!
**Usagi falls flat on her face like the dumbass that she is**
**Crowd roars with laughter**
Chibi-Usa - Hey klutz! Get in the damn ring!
**The crowd looks at Chibi-Usa in the ring and boo's her**
Chibi-Usa - Oh go screw a fork you messed up people!
**Camera turns back to Setsuna-sama who is getting a manicure while talking on her cell phone and Hotaru-chan who apparently didn't get her brown lemon**
Setsuna-sama - I know! Oh my gosh…are you serious? Tom did what? Damn…that boy has problems…
Hotaru-chan - GET ME A STUPID BROWN LEMON YOU LITTLE BITCH! I SAID A BROWN LEMON! NOT A DUMB YELLOW LEMON! BROWN!
Servant - I'm sorry oh great and almighty Hotaru-chan! I will fetch you a brown lemon and some star flakes my future queen!
Hotaru-chan - That's better!
**Some guy runs on and tells Setsuna that they're on**
Setsuna-sama - Oh shit!
**Setsuna hangs up her phone**
Setsuna-sama - Umm…Hotaru…uh…who do you think will win this umm…battley-thing?
Hotaru-chan - Me!
Setsuna-sama - Uhhhh…right…hey…why isn't Tuxie-er I mean Mamoru hanging from the ceiling yet?
**Haruka and Michiru walk in, holding hands**
Haruka - Dumb Inner Senshi…
Michiru - Yes, they forgot to do it, so Haruka beat them up…
Haruka - That's right…Michi baby!
Michiru - Oh Haruka…
Hotaru-chan - CUT IT OUT YOU HORNY LUNATICS!
**Haruka and Michiru stop about an inch from kissing each other**
Setsuna-sama - Hotaru…here comes Mamoru on the rope!
**Hotaru gets very attentive, even though she still doesn't have a brown lemon**
**Servant walks in with a brown lemon**
Servant - Miss Hotaru-chan I brought your-
**Hotaru whacks the servant with her Sil-er…Glaive**
Hotaru-chan - BE QUIET!
**Servant falls to the ground unconscious**
**Mamoru is lowered down on a rope, hanging by his ankles**
**Ami runs in**
Ami - Okay! Just a bit lower! Yeah…all right…a little to the left…no no no right!
**Loud banging comes from above and Mamoru lands on top of Ami**
Ami - Oh...my head…
Mamoru - Thanks for catching me Ami!
Ami - Oh go to hell you gay bastard!
Mamoru - You're mean!
**Ami gets up and walks away angrily**
Haruka - HANG HIM BACK UP DAMNIT!
Hotaru-chan - MAKOTO GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!
**Makoto and Minako rush in**
Makoto - Sorry my Queen!
Minako - Rei pushed one of the wrong buttons!
Hotaru-chan - Well where is she then!
Makoto - Ummmm…
Minako - Makoto beat her down with her large pixie stick, your majesty.
Hotaru-chan - Ooohhh…
**Camera goes back to the ring, where Mamoru is being fought over by Usagi and Chibi-Usa. Himoko and Luna are fighting over Kikarou (he's the referee), while Artemis is crying in the corner**
Usagi - MAMORU IS MY BOYFRIEND!
Chibi-Usa - I DON'T CARE! HE'S MINE!
Usagi - HE'S YOUR FATHER!
Chibi-Usa - OH WELL!
Usagi - You're a sick little bitch you know that?
Mamoru - You know Usagi is right you are-
Usagi & Chibi-Usa - SHUT UP!
**Usagi and Chibi-Usa each take turns slapping Mamoru across the face**
**Camera goes to Himoko, Luna, and Kikarou**
Himoko - YOU DUMB CAT HE IS MINE!
Luna - NO!
Himoko - YES! YOU ARE JUST A CAT! YOU CANNOT BE HIS DAMN SOULMATE!
Luna - YES I CAN!
**Kikarou goes over to Artemis and sits down next to him**
Kikarou - Why do girls insist on fighting over me?
Artemis - I have no idea…maybe because they find you so sweet, which probably means you're gay and you like that guy with the glasses.
Kikarou - Excuse me? Did you just say…I'm gay?
Artemis - Yes.
**Kikarou looks at Artemis…Artemis looks at Kikarou**
**There is a moment of sil-er quiet**
**The two start to kick each other's ass**
**The crowd cheers them on while Luna, Himoko, Usagi, Chibi-Usa, and Mamoru stare at them in amazement**
**Camera goes back to Hotaru, Setsuna, Michiru, Haruka, Minako, and Makoto**
**Minako and Makoto are bowing before Hotaru, Hotaru is eating her brown lemon**
**Setsuna is talking to some nicely ripped, tan man with sandy blonde hair**
**Michiru and Haruka are making out**
Minako - I'm so sorry!
Makoto - We are unworthy to be in your presence!
Hotaru-chan - That's right! Now get out of here!
Minako & Makoto - Yes your highness!
**Minako and Makoto leave very, very quickly**
Setsuna-sama - So…you're 19, right?
Nicely Ripped, Tan Guy - Yes.
Setsuna-sama - Well, I should check out the mailrooms around here more often.
Nicely Ripped, Tan Guy - Yes.
Setsuna-sama - Would you care to go get a cocktail with me…?
Nicely Ripped, Tan Guy - HELL YES!
Hotaru-chan - SETSUNA! WE HAVE A SHOW ON RIGHT NOW!
**Setsuna smiles at the nicely ripped, tan guy**
Setsuna-sama - Well I guess I'll see you at my mansion around…3 o'clock then?
Nicely Ripped, Tan Guy - YES!
**Setsuna waves cutely to the nicely ripped, tan guy as he walks off stage**
Hotaru-chan - AND WILL YOU TWO CUT IT OUT!
**Camera goes to Michiru and Haruka who are obviously making out**
**Setsuna turns around and whacks them both on the head with her Time Key**
**Michiru and Haruka fall down the floor, out cold**
**Medics and other people rush in and carry them out**
Setsuna-sama - Okay! Let's start this match already-
Hotaru-chan - It already started! Look at those two guys go!
Setsuna-sama - Yeah! Kick each other's ass you mother-fuckers!
**Crowd still cheering Artemis and Kikarou on**
**Artemis claws Kikarou's eyes out while Kikarou tries to rip off Artemis's tail**
Luna & Himoko - KIKAROU! NOOOOOOO!
**Chibi-Usa's eyes turn red and she starts drooling**
Chibi-Usa - I WANT BLOOD!
**Chibi-Usa tackles Kikarou and sinks her teeth into him**
Usagi - Ew…
Mamoru - LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO OUR CHILD! MY DAUGHTER IS A DAMN VAMPIRE BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU BITCH!
Usagi - Because of ME! YOU'RE THE ONE YOU PUT THE MOVES ON HER YOU DICK! IT IS YOUR FAULT!
**Usagi and Mamoru starts kicking and punching each other**
**Luna and Himoko watch their beloved Kikarou get all the blood drained from his body by Chibi-Usa**
Luna - You little…
Himoko - I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
**Luna and Himoko both jump on top of Chibi-Usa and start stabbing her with Swiss army knives**
**Artemis sits down and drinks some lemonade**
Artemis - This is the life!
**Camera scrolls to the entrance to the ring**
**The crowd and everyone turns their heads in awe**
Justin Timberlake - Hi Everyone!
**Everyone in the crowd brings out shotguns and start shooting at Justin Timberlake**
Setsuna-sama - IT'S THE CHIA-PET! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
**Setsuna-sama brings out a grenade launcher and blows him up**
**Crowd cheers**
Hotaru-chan - SILENCE! I AM ENJOYING THIS FIGHT!
**Crowd shuts up immediately**
**Luna is clawing chunks of flesh from Chibi-Usa's leg while Himoko is beating her on top of the head with a stick**
**Usagi and Mamoru are stabbing each other repeatedly with daggers**
**Artemis sits back in his chair and sips his lemonade**
Setsuna-sama - You know…someone should go fight with Artemis…
**Rei runs out**
Rei - Yes Setsuna-sama! Right away!
**Rei runs down to the ring with a blowtorch and burns Artemis**
Setsuna-sama - Ah…perfect.
**Artemis screeches**
Setsuna-sama & Hotaru-chan - MY EARS!
**Nicely Ripped, Tan Man runs out along with another servant**
**Nicely Ripped, Tan Man gives Setsuna a pair of earplugs**
Nicely Ripped, Tan Man - Here Setsuna-sama!
Setsuna-sama - Thanks baby…
**Setsuna gets up off her chair and Nicely Ripped, Tan Man sits down in it. Setsuna sits on his lap smiling**
**Servant hands Hotaru some earplugs**
Servant - Here my Queen…
Hotaru-chan - Geez…I get servants and she gets nicely ripped, tanned men…ARGH! I'm getting screwed with this contract! GET ME A HOT, PALE, SCRAWNY GUY RIGHT NOW OR I WILL IMPLODE YOU ALL!
**Servant disappears in a puff of smoke and a hot, pale, scrawny guy appears in her place**
Hotaru-chan - Now that's more like it!
**Hot, Pale, Scrawny Guy smiles at Hotaru**
**Hotaru smiles back**
Setsuna-sama & Hotaru-chan - GET THAT CAMERA OFF US NOW!
**Camera quickly turns back to the ring**
**Luna and Himoko have managed to get Chibi-Usa off of Kikarou, who is dead white from loosing all his blood**
**Chibi-Usa walks like a zombie away from the two and walks over to a person in the crowd**
Chibi-Usa - BLOOD!
**Chibi-Usa attacks the member of the audience and the rest of the crowd starts bashing her brains in with chalkboards**
Luna & Himoko - KIKAROU!
**Both faint and are taken out of the ring immediately**
**Artemis lays in the ring, his fur charred and black**
Artemis - Ow…my…fur…
Rei - YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
**Rei jumps on top of Artemis and starts tearing his fur out**
**Ami runs out**
Ami - I'm the new referee since I obviously won't have any girls fighting over me.
**Everyone ignores her**
**Anime sweat drops appear on Ami's head**
Ami - Why do I even bother?
**Ami sits down at the edge of the ring waiting for someone to get knocked out**
**Camera goes back to Setsuna and Hotaru**
**Setsuna is babbling on about how gorgeous she is while Nicely Ripped, Tan Man is staring at her uncovered legs**
Setsuna-sama - So I had to smack him upside the head for calling me old…
Nicely Ripped, Tan Man - Yeah…damn you are so fine!
Setsuna-sama - I know!
**Hotaru is now sitting on Hot, Pale, Scrawny Guy's lap as they make out**
Hotaru-chan - Mmmmmmm…hmmmm?
Hot, Pale, Scrawny Guy - Mmmmm…..hmmmhmmmm…mmmmm….
**Camera quickly turns back to the ring, so Hotaru doesn't notice**
**Mamoru gets away from Usagi and accidentally touches Rei's butt**
**Usagi gets really mad at Rei*
Usagi - GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
**Usagi whacks Rei with her scepter**
**Chibi-Usa runs from the crowd and throws Artemis towards them**
**A female audience member catches Artemis**
Female Audience Member - Oooooooh!
Artemis - Why hello there…
**Female Audience Member flirts with Artemis…Artemis flirts back**
Artemis - What do you say we go back to my place and get some tuna?
Female Audience Member - Yeah!
**Artemis and Female Audience Member run out of the ring and go get tuna**
**Camera goes back to Setsuna and Hotaru**
Setsuna-sama - What do you say we go have a little fun?
Hotaru-chan - Yeah, Setsuna is right…let's go have a pool party!
**Setsuna, Hotaru, Nicely Ripped, Tan Man, and Hot, Pale, Scrawny Guy all leave the arena to go have a pool party**
Mamoru - You know…it's kind of quiet without Setsuna-sama and the great Hotaru-chan!
Usagi - Yeah…complete and absolute silence!
Ami & Rei - AAAHHHH!
**Ami and Rei run out very, very, very, very quickly**
**Everyone else is scared stiff, and are frozen in place**
**Camera outside goes to Hotaru and the gang**
Hotaru-chan - YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! THE SILENCE! BWAHAHAHA! MISTRESS 9 HAS REAWAKENED!
Setsuna-sama - Oh shit! Get down!
**Everyone lays down on the ground**
Hotaru-chan - SILENCE……..GLAIVE……SURPRISE!
**Arena implodes into a million bazillion pieces**
Hotaru-chan - All right…let's go get wet!
Setsuna-sama - Yeah!
**Setsuna whacks the camera guy with her Time Key and everything goes black**
Setsuna-sama - Welcome to a special British edition of Celebrity Death Match, ladies and gentlemen! Setsuna Meioh here, along side my co-host Hotaru Tomoe. We are subbing for Nick Diamond and that one dude whose name I don't recall.
Hotaru-chan - YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
**Large anime sweat drops on Setsuna's head**
Setsuna-sama - Ummmm…yes. Anyway…tonight's match will be the best ever!
Hotaru-chan - Usagi Tsukino vs. Chibi-Usa Tsukino!
Setsuna-sama - Yeah! And they are fighting for control of Tuxie Boy-er I mean Mamoru Chiba!
Hotaru-chan - Uh huh…can I get a damn brown lemon over here!
Servant - Yes Hotaru-chan right away!
**Servant rushes off to get Hotaru a brown lemon**
Setsuna-sama - Couldn't that have waited till after the show?
Hotaru-chan - Hey! You got a cocktail with an umbrella last time we subbed for someone, so I get some fucking brown lemons all right!
Setsuna-sama - Oh fine…oh! Here comes our first dumbass-er challenger! Welcome Usagi Tsukino to the Death Match ring!
**Crowd starts throwing popcorn buckets and cups of Dr. Pepper at Usagi**
Usagi - OW!
**Usagi falls flat on her face like the dumbass that she is**
**Crowd roars with laughter**
Chibi-Usa - Hey klutz! Get in the damn ring!
**The crowd looks at Chibi-Usa in the ring and boo's her**
Chibi-Usa - Oh go screw a fork you messed up people!
**Camera turns back to Setsuna-sama who is getting a manicure while talking on her cell phone and Hotaru-chan who apparently didn't get her brown lemon**
Setsuna-sama - I know! Oh my gosh…are you serious? Tom did what? Damn…that boy has problems…
Hotaru-chan - GET ME A STUPID BROWN LEMON YOU LITTLE BITCH! I SAID A BROWN LEMON! NOT A DUMB YELLOW LEMON! BROWN!
Servant - I'm sorry oh great and almighty Hotaru-chan! I will fetch you a brown lemon and some star flakes my future queen!
Hotaru-chan - That's better!
**Some guy runs on and tells Setsuna that they're on**
Setsuna-sama - Oh shit!
**Setsuna hangs up her phone**
Setsuna-sama - Umm…Hotaru…uh…who do you think will win this umm…battley-thing?
Hotaru-chan - Me!
Setsuna-sama - Uhhhh…right…hey…why isn't Tuxie-er I mean Mamoru hanging from the ceiling yet?
**Haruka and Michiru walk in, holding hands**
Haruka - Dumb Inner Senshi…
Michiru - Yes, they forgot to do it, so Haruka beat them up…
Haruka - That's right…Michi baby!
Michiru - Oh Haruka…
Hotaru-chan - CUT IT OUT YOU HORNY LUNATICS!
**Haruka and Michiru stop about an inch from kissing each other**
Setsuna-sama - Hotaru…here comes Mamoru on the rope!
**Hotaru gets very attentive, even though she still doesn't have a brown lemon**
**Servant walks in with a brown lemon**
Servant - Miss Hotaru-chan I brought your-
**Hotaru whacks the servant with her Sil-er…Glaive**
Hotaru-chan - BE QUIET!
**Servant falls to the ground unconscious**
**Mamoru is lowered down on a rope, hanging by his ankles**
**Ami runs in**
Ami - Okay! Just a bit lower! Yeah…all right…a little to the left…no no no right!
**Loud banging comes from above and Mamoru lands on top of Ami**
Ami - Oh...my head…
Mamoru - Thanks for catching me Ami!
Ami - Oh go to hell you gay bastard!
Mamoru - You're mean!
**Ami gets up and walks away angrily**
Haruka - HANG HIM BACK UP DAMNIT!
Hotaru-chan - MAKOTO GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!
**Makoto and Minako rush in**
Makoto - Sorry my Queen!
Minako - Rei pushed one of the wrong buttons!
Hotaru-chan - Well where is she then!
Makoto - Ummmm…
Minako - Makoto beat her down with her large pixie stick, your majesty.
Hotaru-chan - Ooohhh…
**Camera goes back to the ring, where Mamoru is being fought over by Usagi and Chibi-Usa. Himoko and Luna are fighting over Kikarou (he's the referee), while Artemis is crying in the corner**
Usagi - MAMORU IS MY BOYFRIEND!
Chibi-Usa - I DON'T CARE! HE'S MINE!
Usagi - HE'S YOUR FATHER!
Chibi-Usa - OH WELL!
Usagi - You're a sick little bitch you know that?
Mamoru - You know Usagi is right you are-
Usagi & Chibi-Usa - SHUT UP!
**Usagi and Chibi-Usa each take turns slapping Mamoru across the face**
**Camera goes to Himoko, Luna, and Kikarou**
Himoko - YOU DUMB CAT HE IS MINE!
Luna - NO!
Himoko - YES! YOU ARE JUST A CAT! YOU CANNOT BE HIS DAMN SOULMATE!
Luna - YES I CAN!
**Kikarou goes over to Artemis and sits down next to him**
Kikarou - Why do girls insist on fighting over me?
Artemis - I have no idea…maybe because they find you so sweet, which probably means you're gay and you like that guy with the glasses.
Kikarou - Excuse me? Did you just say…I'm gay?
Artemis - Yes.
**Kikarou looks at Artemis…Artemis looks at Kikarou**
**There is a moment of sil-er quiet**
**The two start to kick each other's ass**
**The crowd cheers them on while Luna, Himoko, Usagi, Chibi-Usa, and Mamoru stare at them in amazement**
**Camera goes back to Hotaru, Setsuna, Michiru, Haruka, Minako, and Makoto**
**Minako and Makoto are bowing before Hotaru, Hotaru is eating her brown lemon**
**Setsuna is talking to some nicely ripped, tan man with sandy blonde hair**
**Michiru and Haruka are making out**
Minako - I'm so sorry!
Makoto - We are unworthy to be in your presence!
Hotaru-chan - That's right! Now get out of here!
Minako & Makoto - Yes your highness!
**Minako and Makoto leave very, very quickly**
Setsuna-sama - So…you're 19, right?
Nicely Ripped, Tan Guy - Yes.
Setsuna-sama - Well, I should check out the mailrooms around here more often.
Nicely Ripped, Tan Guy - Yes.
Setsuna-sama - Would you care to go get a cocktail with me…?
Nicely Ripped, Tan Guy - HELL YES!
Hotaru-chan - SETSUNA! WE HAVE A SHOW ON RIGHT NOW!
**Setsuna smiles at the nicely ripped, tan guy**
Setsuna-sama - Well I guess I'll see you at my mansion around…3 o'clock then?
Nicely Ripped, Tan Guy - YES!
**Setsuna waves cutely to the nicely ripped, tan guy as he walks off stage**
Hotaru-chan - AND WILL YOU TWO CUT IT OUT!
**Camera goes to Michiru and Haruka who are obviously making out**
**Setsuna turns around and whacks them both on the head with her Time Key**
**Michiru and Haruka fall down the floor, out cold**
**Medics and other people rush in and carry them out**
Setsuna-sama - Okay! Let's start this match already-
Hotaru-chan - It already started! Look at those two guys go!
Setsuna-sama - Yeah! Kick each other's ass you mother-fuckers!
**Crowd still cheering Artemis and Kikarou on**
**Artemis claws Kikarou's eyes out while Kikarou tries to rip off Artemis's tail**
Luna & Himoko - KIKAROU! NOOOOOOO!
**Chibi-Usa's eyes turn red and she starts drooling**
Chibi-Usa - I WANT BLOOD!
**Chibi-Usa tackles Kikarou and sinks her teeth into him**
Usagi - Ew…
Mamoru - LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO OUR CHILD! MY DAUGHTER IS A DAMN VAMPIRE BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU BITCH!
Usagi - Because of ME! YOU'RE THE ONE YOU PUT THE MOVES ON HER YOU DICK! IT IS YOUR FAULT!
**Usagi and Mamoru starts kicking and punching each other**
**Luna and Himoko watch their beloved Kikarou get all the blood drained from his body by Chibi-Usa**
Luna - You little…
Himoko - I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
**Luna and Himoko both jump on top of Chibi-Usa and start stabbing her with Swiss army knives**
**Artemis sits down and drinks some lemonade**
Artemis - This is the life!
**Camera scrolls to the entrance to the ring**
**The crowd and everyone turns their heads in awe**
Justin Timberlake - Hi Everyone!
**Everyone in the crowd brings out shotguns and start shooting at Justin Timberlake**
Setsuna-sama - IT'S THE CHIA-PET! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
**Setsuna-sama brings out a grenade launcher and blows him up**
**Crowd cheers**
Hotaru-chan - SILENCE! I AM ENJOYING THIS FIGHT!
**Crowd shuts up immediately**
**Luna is clawing chunks of flesh from Chibi-Usa's leg while Himoko is beating her on top of the head with a stick**
**Usagi and Mamoru are stabbing each other repeatedly with daggers**
**Artemis sits back in his chair and sips his lemonade**
Setsuna-sama - You know…someone should go fight with Artemis…
**Rei runs out**
Rei - Yes Setsuna-sama! Right away!
**Rei runs down to the ring with a blowtorch and burns Artemis**
Setsuna-sama - Ah…perfect.
**Artemis screeches**
Setsuna-sama & Hotaru-chan - MY EARS!
**Nicely Ripped, Tan Man runs out along with another servant**
**Nicely Ripped, Tan Man gives Setsuna a pair of earplugs**
Nicely Ripped, Tan Man - Here Setsuna-sama!
Setsuna-sama - Thanks baby…
**Setsuna gets up off her chair and Nicely Ripped, Tan Man sits down in it. Setsuna sits on his lap smiling**
**Servant hands Hotaru some earplugs**
Servant - Here my Queen…
Hotaru-chan - Geez…I get servants and she gets nicely ripped, tanned men…ARGH! I'm getting screwed with this contract! GET ME A HOT, PALE, SCRAWNY GUY RIGHT NOW OR I WILL IMPLODE YOU ALL!
**Servant disappears in a puff of smoke and a hot, pale, scrawny guy appears in her place**
Hotaru-chan - Now that's more like it!
**Hot, Pale, Scrawny Guy smiles at Hotaru**
**Hotaru smiles back**
Setsuna-sama & Hotaru-chan - GET THAT CAMERA OFF US NOW!
**Camera quickly turns back to the ring**
**Luna and Himoko have managed to get Chibi-Usa off of Kikarou, who is dead white from loosing all his blood**
**Chibi-Usa walks like a zombie away from the two and walks over to a person in the crowd**
Chibi-Usa - BLOOD!
**Chibi-Usa attacks the member of the audience and the rest of the crowd starts bashing her brains in with chalkboards**
Luna & Himoko - KIKAROU!
**Both faint and are taken out of the ring immediately**
**Artemis lays in the ring, his fur charred and black**
Artemis - Ow…my…fur…
Rei - YAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
**Rei jumps on top of Artemis and starts tearing his fur out**
**Ami runs out**
Ami - I'm the new referee since I obviously won't have any girls fighting over me.
**Everyone ignores her**
**Anime sweat drops appear on Ami's head**
Ami - Why do I even bother?
**Ami sits down at the edge of the ring waiting for someone to get knocked out**
**Camera goes back to Setsuna and Hotaru**
**Setsuna is babbling on about how gorgeous she is while Nicely Ripped, Tan Man is staring at her uncovered legs**
Setsuna-sama - So I had to smack him upside the head for calling me old…
Nicely Ripped, Tan Man - Yeah…damn you are so fine!
Setsuna-sama - I know!
**Hotaru is now sitting on Hot, Pale, Scrawny Guy's lap as they make out**
Hotaru-chan - Mmmmmmm…hmmmm?
Hot, Pale, Scrawny Guy - Mmmmm…..hmmmhmmmm…mmmmm….
**Camera quickly turns back to the ring, so Hotaru doesn't notice**
**Mamoru gets away from Usagi and accidentally touches Rei's butt**
**Usagi gets really mad at Rei*
Usagi - GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
**Usagi whacks Rei with her scepter**
**Chibi-Usa runs from the crowd and throws Artemis towards them**
**A female audience member catches Artemis**
Female Audience Member - Oooooooh!
Artemis - Why hello there…
**Female Audience Member flirts with Artemis…Artemis flirts back**
Artemis - What do you say we go back to my place and get some tuna?
Female Audience Member - Yeah!
**Artemis and Female Audience Member run out of the ring and go get tuna**
**Camera goes back to Setsuna and Hotaru**
Setsuna-sama - What do you say we go have a little fun?
Hotaru-chan - Yeah, Setsuna is right…let's go have a pool party!
**Setsuna, Hotaru, Nicely Ripped, Tan Man, and Hot, Pale, Scrawny Guy all leave the arena to go have a pool party**
Mamoru - You know…it's kind of quiet without Setsuna-sama and the great Hotaru-chan!
Usagi - Yeah…complete and absolute silence!
Ami & Rei - AAAHHHH!
**Ami and Rei run out very, very, very, very quickly**
**Everyone else is scared stiff, and are frozen in place**
**Camera outside goes to Hotaru and the gang**
Hotaru-chan - YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! THE SILENCE! BWAHAHAHA! MISTRESS 9 HAS REAWAKENED!
Setsuna-sama - Oh shit! Get down!
**Everyone lays down on the ground**
Hotaru-chan - SILENCE……..GLAIVE……SURPRISE!
**Arena implodes into a million bazillion pieces**
Hotaru-chan - All right…let's go get wet!
Setsuna-sama - Yeah!
**Setsuna whacks the camera guy with her Time Key and everything goes black**