His eyes met hers and she almost gasped at the love she saw there. He was
looking at her just like Spike did when they would make love. The awe, the
emotion, the raw intensity, it was all there. She'd never seen this in
William, but she could tell without mistake that when Spike looked at her
like this, it was William shining through and not the other way around.
"With your permission....." William let the question hang between them. At
her slight nod and smile, he brought his hand to her face and began
caressing her cheek gently. When he leaned in, Buffy sighed, her warm
breath tingling his cool lips. When their lips touched, they both felt
pent up energy surging. Buffy parted her lips for him, and he smiled
against her mouth when he felt it. He gently slid his tongue in to meet
hers and as both flicked and played, the owners were holding on to each
other like it was their last kiss.
Buffy ran her fingers through his silky locks, while William rested one hand on her hips and the other still caressed her face. As their kiss deepened, rational thought left town. Long-suffering need took over as Buffy moved her hands to William's shoulders and laid back on the couch, bringing him with her. William moved fluidly over her, fueled by a similar drive. When he settled between her open legs, she could feel his arousal. He moaned into her mouth as she ground her hips upward into him. He pulled back for a moment to look questioningly into her eyes. The smile on her lips and the heat in her eyes was the only answer he needed. As he lowered his head to resume kissing her, William braced himself on one arm as he slowly moved his other hand down her torso. When he reached her hips, he slipped his hand under her shirt and moaned again at the warmth of her skin there. Buffy's sharp intake of breath when he reached her breast was the only momentary break in the kissing. As he traced her nipple with his thumb, she absently wondered if Spike had returned because she was certain William wasn't this experienced. After a moment, William began gently kneading, and Buffy drew up her leg to hook it around his, pressing him more fully into her.
Suddenly, William stiffened, his grasp on Buffy's breast becoming somewhat painful. She whimpered into his lips and he jerked back. Buffy saw a wave of emotions pass through his eyes, ranging from confusion to anger. She knew Spike was back. He slowly looked down at the way they were situated and gingerly removed his hand from under her shirt. He climbed off of her and took a deep breath to calm himself. He growled and his eyes flashed yellow when he smelled her extreme arousal. "So.....that's it, eh? Run me off so you can get laid? I want to hold off a little while, but you can't wait, so you pounce on 'im as soon as I'm gone?"
Buffy sat up and shook her head. "What? Spike, no. He's.....he's *you*. I just.....we were talking, and you changed and he was upset.....I don't know, it just happened. And why am I trying to defend myself to you for 'being' with *you*?"
"You prefer him, don't you? I mean, I saw it this whole week. You want to be with him." Spike shook his head. "Damn.....one thing I sure didn't count on. If anything, I thought you seeing that side of me would make you think I was a wanker. Turns out, you prefer the wanker."
"Look, you just said it yourself, he's a side of you. I love all the sides of you. Including him."
"You love him?" Spike asked incredulously.
"Yes, I love him. Because he is you and you are him. I love you both, even though for there to be a both there has to be two and there's only one and god, I'm giving myself a headache." Buffy closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.
"Yeah, but.....you were going to have sex with him."
"You. I was going to have sex with you. Or, I don't even know if there would have been sex. I just.....it was nice. I saw.....I saw *you*. And I don't mean 'Spike' you versus 'William' you. I just mean, you, whole. For a moment, you felt whole. The way you, he, looked at me. It was purely you. But it was him. You know what I mean?"
Spike frowned. "Maybe, I don't know. I just.....I saw, or felt.....him getting on with you like that. Made me mad. Like you were......"
"Cheating on you with you?" Buffy quirked an eyebrow at him.
Spike half-smiled sheepishly. "I know. I'm the first to admit we're the same. But it didn't feel like it just then. And I couldn't just stay in there while he had his way with you. Or, knowing him and you, while you had your way with him." Spike smirked at her.
"So you just.....came out? You can do that? I mean, you had just gone in. That's the shortest I've known William to stay out."
Spike stood, scratched his head and frowned. "Dunno. Usually it takes me a while to get myself set to rights in here." He tapped his head for emphasis. "But when I saw that.....just had to come out then. Cuz I felt what he was feeling for you. And part of me thought, 'Yeah, let the ponce get laid.' But then a bigger part of me couldn't just stand by and watch that. Cuz you're mine."
"I'm his, too, ya know." Buffy smiled.
Spike's face turned serious. "You know.....I've been worried that if, somehow, I manage to pull a Humpty Dumpty and get put back together again, that if.....*he* comes out a bit more in my personality.....wasn't sure how you'd take to that. I mean......I'm your Big Bad 'n all, but if he's there......don't know what that'd do to me....."
Buffy grinned. "First of all, I don't think they actually managed to get Humpty Dumpty back together again. Second, I think I've already shown you that I want you both. That I love you both. Most of all, I need you both. I love your Big Badness. But I also love you softer side that you only let *me* see. And if that's thanks to William, I say more power to him. I mean, my god, what woman would complain that her arrogant, aggravating boyfriend would become a little more sweet and sensitive?" Buffy gave him a smile to let him know she was teasing him.
Spike hung his head and chuckled a little. "Well, there's another thing--- gggaaaaahhhhh," Spike convulsed and grabbed his head. "I do beg your pardon, but I believe you interrupted some.....alone time that I was having with Buffy. You called me out, so let me do my job. I'm certain you aren't completely straightened out--" Another convulsion and a painful wince on his face. "You bloody wanker! You got no right comin' up when I don't need you. I'm having a soddin' conversation with m' girl, here. Now go back--" Convulsion. "Oh, I think Buffy will confirm that we were having something more deep than a conversation. Now I don't generally assert myself, but I think you are being extremely too rude, and I question your judgment in making--" Convulsion. "Bloody fuck! I don't believe this....."
Buffy watched in amazement as her lover transformed several times before her eyes--demeanor and accent switching quickly, save a bit of convulsing and probable headaches. The yelling escalated, mostly on Spike's part. Buffy started wondering if the neighbors would call the cops for noise, but then quickly put that thought away. Given everything that happened on the Hellmouth, a bit of yelling wouldn't even faze most residents. Curious as it was, the fighting was becoming too much for Buffy and she could see it was taking a toll on Spike and William. 'If his body gets any more tense, he's going to explode,' Buffy thought. Then something else amazing happened. She noticed that Spike had vamped out in anger, but when William cut in, his human face returned. Buffy silently wished Giles was here to witness this, because she wasn't sure she could do the sight justice with mere description.
She stood and shook her head. She walked to where Spike and William's thrashing had gotten them. She waited until Spike's demon face showed and firmly punched him in the nose. He looked at her, a confused look clouding his golden eyes. His vamp face slid away and he said, "See? She doesn't want a ruffian like you around right now." Demon face. "Oh, don't you bloody start again--" Another punch to the nose.
"Enough!" Buffy yelled. "Now I've been sitting there listening to you two argue about......spending time with me? If you two could get your act together, literally, you could *both* be with me all the time!" Buffy hesitated as she noticed that he was panting as from exertion, but more fascinating was that his demon visage and human mask were rapidly cycling from one to the other with each unneeded breath he took. Breath in, demon. Breath out, human. Both faces had a pained, confused expression, like they were both trying to stay in the foreground to listen to her better. Buffy shook her head to stay focused. "Look," she said a bit softer. "I know you're both at a very tumultuous place right now. And, god, if I could help you both I would. But I can't .This is something you have to work out together. Fighting is only going to splinter you apart further. And that's not what I want. Please, if you can't do it for your own sakes, do it for me. I need my guy whole. I don't think I can handle this back and forth much longer." She knew it was a lie, she'd handle it as long as she had to. But she also figured it might be the only way to make them work together instead of against the other. To welcome the other's presence and not fight for dominance. If they could do that, maybe they could, someday, integrate. Buffy knew it would be a long road, but she was willing to stick by both of them until this mess got worked out--which happened to not be as long as she thought.
As his panting slowed, so did the morphing of his face. Buffy reached up to his face and held it gently in her hands. She leaned up and kissed his lips when his human face came forth. With his next intake of breath, she kissed the demon too. She kissed each face in turn until his panting stopped and he settled into his human form. She pulled back and noticed his eyes wet with unshed tears. When he closed them tight, a few tears spilled. His face contorted in pain and he fell to his knees. As Buffy moved to kneel beside him, he held up his hand to stay her. She took a few steps back, wondering what could go wrong now.
**
TBC!
Buffy ran her fingers through his silky locks, while William rested one hand on her hips and the other still caressed her face. As their kiss deepened, rational thought left town. Long-suffering need took over as Buffy moved her hands to William's shoulders and laid back on the couch, bringing him with her. William moved fluidly over her, fueled by a similar drive. When he settled between her open legs, she could feel his arousal. He moaned into her mouth as she ground her hips upward into him. He pulled back for a moment to look questioningly into her eyes. The smile on her lips and the heat in her eyes was the only answer he needed. As he lowered his head to resume kissing her, William braced himself on one arm as he slowly moved his other hand down her torso. When he reached her hips, he slipped his hand under her shirt and moaned again at the warmth of her skin there. Buffy's sharp intake of breath when he reached her breast was the only momentary break in the kissing. As he traced her nipple with his thumb, she absently wondered if Spike had returned because she was certain William wasn't this experienced. After a moment, William began gently kneading, and Buffy drew up her leg to hook it around his, pressing him more fully into her.
Suddenly, William stiffened, his grasp on Buffy's breast becoming somewhat painful. She whimpered into his lips and he jerked back. Buffy saw a wave of emotions pass through his eyes, ranging from confusion to anger. She knew Spike was back. He slowly looked down at the way they were situated and gingerly removed his hand from under her shirt. He climbed off of her and took a deep breath to calm himself. He growled and his eyes flashed yellow when he smelled her extreme arousal. "So.....that's it, eh? Run me off so you can get laid? I want to hold off a little while, but you can't wait, so you pounce on 'im as soon as I'm gone?"
Buffy sat up and shook her head. "What? Spike, no. He's.....he's *you*. I just.....we were talking, and you changed and he was upset.....I don't know, it just happened. And why am I trying to defend myself to you for 'being' with *you*?"
"You prefer him, don't you? I mean, I saw it this whole week. You want to be with him." Spike shook his head. "Damn.....one thing I sure didn't count on. If anything, I thought you seeing that side of me would make you think I was a wanker. Turns out, you prefer the wanker."
"Look, you just said it yourself, he's a side of you. I love all the sides of you. Including him."
"You love him?" Spike asked incredulously.
"Yes, I love him. Because he is you and you are him. I love you both, even though for there to be a both there has to be two and there's only one and god, I'm giving myself a headache." Buffy closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.
"Yeah, but.....you were going to have sex with him."
"You. I was going to have sex with you. Or, I don't even know if there would have been sex. I just.....it was nice. I saw.....I saw *you*. And I don't mean 'Spike' you versus 'William' you. I just mean, you, whole. For a moment, you felt whole. The way you, he, looked at me. It was purely you. But it was him. You know what I mean?"
Spike frowned. "Maybe, I don't know. I just.....I saw, or felt.....him getting on with you like that. Made me mad. Like you were......"
"Cheating on you with you?" Buffy quirked an eyebrow at him.
Spike half-smiled sheepishly. "I know. I'm the first to admit we're the same. But it didn't feel like it just then. And I couldn't just stay in there while he had his way with you. Or, knowing him and you, while you had your way with him." Spike smirked at her.
"So you just.....came out? You can do that? I mean, you had just gone in. That's the shortest I've known William to stay out."
Spike stood, scratched his head and frowned. "Dunno. Usually it takes me a while to get myself set to rights in here." He tapped his head for emphasis. "But when I saw that.....just had to come out then. Cuz I felt what he was feeling for you. And part of me thought, 'Yeah, let the ponce get laid.' But then a bigger part of me couldn't just stand by and watch that. Cuz you're mine."
"I'm his, too, ya know." Buffy smiled.
Spike's face turned serious. "You know.....I've been worried that if, somehow, I manage to pull a Humpty Dumpty and get put back together again, that if.....*he* comes out a bit more in my personality.....wasn't sure how you'd take to that. I mean......I'm your Big Bad 'n all, but if he's there......don't know what that'd do to me....."
Buffy grinned. "First of all, I don't think they actually managed to get Humpty Dumpty back together again. Second, I think I've already shown you that I want you both. That I love you both. Most of all, I need you both. I love your Big Badness. But I also love you softer side that you only let *me* see. And if that's thanks to William, I say more power to him. I mean, my god, what woman would complain that her arrogant, aggravating boyfriend would become a little more sweet and sensitive?" Buffy gave him a smile to let him know she was teasing him.
Spike hung his head and chuckled a little. "Well, there's another thing--- gggaaaaahhhhh," Spike convulsed and grabbed his head. "I do beg your pardon, but I believe you interrupted some.....alone time that I was having with Buffy. You called me out, so let me do my job. I'm certain you aren't completely straightened out--" Another convulsion and a painful wince on his face. "You bloody wanker! You got no right comin' up when I don't need you. I'm having a soddin' conversation with m' girl, here. Now go back--" Convulsion. "Oh, I think Buffy will confirm that we were having something more deep than a conversation. Now I don't generally assert myself, but I think you are being extremely too rude, and I question your judgment in making--" Convulsion. "Bloody fuck! I don't believe this....."
Buffy watched in amazement as her lover transformed several times before her eyes--demeanor and accent switching quickly, save a bit of convulsing and probable headaches. The yelling escalated, mostly on Spike's part. Buffy started wondering if the neighbors would call the cops for noise, but then quickly put that thought away. Given everything that happened on the Hellmouth, a bit of yelling wouldn't even faze most residents. Curious as it was, the fighting was becoming too much for Buffy and she could see it was taking a toll on Spike and William. 'If his body gets any more tense, he's going to explode,' Buffy thought. Then something else amazing happened. She noticed that Spike had vamped out in anger, but when William cut in, his human face returned. Buffy silently wished Giles was here to witness this, because she wasn't sure she could do the sight justice with mere description.
She stood and shook her head. She walked to where Spike and William's thrashing had gotten them. She waited until Spike's demon face showed and firmly punched him in the nose. He looked at her, a confused look clouding his golden eyes. His vamp face slid away and he said, "See? She doesn't want a ruffian like you around right now." Demon face. "Oh, don't you bloody start again--" Another punch to the nose.
"Enough!" Buffy yelled. "Now I've been sitting there listening to you two argue about......spending time with me? If you two could get your act together, literally, you could *both* be with me all the time!" Buffy hesitated as she noticed that he was panting as from exertion, but more fascinating was that his demon visage and human mask were rapidly cycling from one to the other with each unneeded breath he took. Breath in, demon. Breath out, human. Both faces had a pained, confused expression, like they were both trying to stay in the foreground to listen to her better. Buffy shook her head to stay focused. "Look," she said a bit softer. "I know you're both at a very tumultuous place right now. And, god, if I could help you both I would. But I can't .This is something you have to work out together. Fighting is only going to splinter you apart further. And that's not what I want. Please, if you can't do it for your own sakes, do it for me. I need my guy whole. I don't think I can handle this back and forth much longer." She knew it was a lie, she'd handle it as long as she had to. But she also figured it might be the only way to make them work together instead of against the other. To welcome the other's presence and not fight for dominance. If they could do that, maybe they could, someday, integrate. Buffy knew it would be a long road, but she was willing to stick by both of them until this mess got worked out--which happened to not be as long as she thought.
As his panting slowed, so did the morphing of his face. Buffy reached up to his face and held it gently in her hands. She leaned up and kissed his lips when his human face came forth. With his next intake of breath, she kissed the demon too. She kissed each face in turn until his panting stopped and he settled into his human form. She pulled back and noticed his eyes wet with unshed tears. When he closed them tight, a few tears spilled. His face contorted in pain and he fell to his knees. As Buffy moved to kneel beside him, he held up his hand to stay her. She took a few steps back, wondering what could go wrong now.
**
TBC!