AN: Greetings to everyone! I admit, I am slightly apprehensive that people are getting warned away from this, because the concept of someone entering the fictional Caribbean is a victim of overuse, and much abuse, to be honest. People like to insert themselves into the story and go ruin certain people's character, I know. Be assured, I hate 'em as much as you do. Despicable, I say. So, before I commence thanks to reviewers-
Tanuki Yasha: Thanks! Wow, you're perceptive! Yes, the telemarketer does have some significance…although I haven't really worked out what significance they have yet, though…I'm just improvising. I'm in NO position to make fun of you, as I just found out a month ago that pipe cleaners were actually used to clean pipes. Go figure! O.O Merci!
Roux: Thanks! Hey, I like being watched over the Internet. It's the real-life stalkers I can't stand…Of course I'll keep going!!! Oh, and by the way, I really like your stories that I've been reading…good stuff…
lem68: Sticking to the point is good. Glad you like. Approval is encouraging.
Sara: Well, I'm keeping going. If it turns into something, let me know, k?
Mythical Assassin: YAY! I'm so glad you agree it's not typical, I was trying to keep it that way because the concept is cliché, I admit. But there will be no Mr. Mary Sue here, I assure you. And Simon is NOT falling in love with Jack. YUCK. That's just…ugh. I mean, slash has its time and place, I suppose, but NOT here. Plus, he DOES have Liana, and one of her reasons for existence is so that Simon doesn't get in any romantic involvements with PotC characters…thanks for reviewing! You're special! ^^
And, to let you know, there is going to be very, very, little romance in this story. None if I can get away with it. I mean, of course, there's always the obligatory Will/Elizabeth sap but that's being kept to a bare minimum, and I assure you that Captain Jack Sparrow will never, ever, ever, get in any sort of love with anyone in this story, so don't look for it. I mean, come on, the closest love interest implied is his ship, for God's sake. (I refuse to acknowledge the Anamaria thing. Not out of jealousy, but because she doesn't really have much of a personality…)
Oh, and the way Simon acts at the beginning of this is reminiscent of me in the morning…
Anyway, thanks to all reading, and now I'll shut up.
Disclaimer: Sure, I own Pirates of the Caribbean. And all the characters. And George W. Bush graduated magna cum laude.
Come on, people…
Chapter 2:
4 weeks later…
"Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep."
"Aaaaah, damn. Shut up, you freaking—"
"BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEE—"
Crash.
The alarm clock would never beep again.
Simon stood up groggily and looked down at what used to be the alarm, now pieces of cheap plastic littering his bedroom floor. "Crap," he said matter-of-factly, shaking his head. "I didn't mean to do that." He threw the remains into the trash, andered out into the kitchen, and squinted as he switched on the overhead light. "Augh…ouch…" He blinked several times and glanced around the room. Food. Right. He popped some bread into the toaster and looked at the clock. 10:oo AM. Unlike Liana, who liked to get up at 6 and go out bicycling on the Burke-Gilman trail, he wasn't much of a morning person, and would have slept until noon if not for the alarm. Reflecting on the situation, he realized it was pretty pathetic that he had to set his alarm for any time later than 9, but no matter. He was about to go change out of his pajamas when there was a loud knock on the door.
"Package for Donaghy! It's UPS!"
He winced at the loud voice. "Um…hold on a sec!" He quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and jogged to the door, opening it. "Hey, Angelo," he greeted the black-haired man in the UPS uniform. Angelo always delivered to his house, and Simon had finally asked his name sometime during the Christmas season after seeing him five times. "How's it going?"
"Aw, pretty good," replied Angelo, grinning. "I finally got a date with Yvette."
"That's great! So, what's it today?"
"Oh," Angelo said, handing him a large cardboard square box wrapped in brown paper, and checking his clipboard. "You have to sign for this package. It's from…" He squinted. "The…it looks like HG Corporation? Something like that…sent you something." He extended the clipboard. "Got a pen? Sorry, Robert took mine…"
Simon put the box down and took the clipboard, running inside and grabbing a pen, wondering what this package was. HG Corporation? I don't think I…
Wait a minute!
He signed the paper in a messy script, acknowledging that he'd gotten the package, and handed it to Angelo. "Here."
"Thanks," said Angelo. "See you around!"
"'Bye," called Simon, as Angelo hopped into the UPS truck and drove away. As soon as it was out of sight Simon shut the door and picked up the brown box, looking at it curiously. Sure enough, the return address said,
HG Corporation
21568 13th Ave.
Facsimile, NY
12569
Strange. He didn't know there was a town in New York called Facsimile. Weird. Again, it was addressed to him, which still was a rare occurrence. He tore off the brown paper, opened the box and found two things: One, a business-sized envelope, and two, a small metal box with a keyhole, which he found was locked.
Weird…
He opened the envelope, not daring to believe the suspicion growing in his mind. You don't think…Nah, no way. You never really win this kind of thing; nobody does. I mean, the odds are a million to one…
But:
Congratulations!!! You have won an all-expenses paid cruise to the Caribbean! Enclosed is your ticket, which will allow you passage on our newest cruise ship, the Caribbean Princess. (Gag.) This is a four-week cruise, and remember, it's COMPLETELY FREE!!! Arrive at Pier 99 at 6:00 PM Pacific Standard Time on September 26th, 2003. A helpful member of the cruise staff will give you any additional information that you will need to make your vacation as pleasant as possible. Remember, pack for all weather, and bring a camera! J We here at the HG Corporation wish you a wonderful trip!
Simon shook the envelope and a ticket fell out.
He stared at it for a second, and then…
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Yes! No more Seattle! YEAH! All right!"
Simon's jubilant (and exceedingly loud) exclamations of joy reached all the way to the apartment building next door, causing a forty-year-old man to mutter about young people these days, the janitor to sigh wistfully at the prospect of leaving the Soggy City, and an elderly Mrs. T. Plotkins to drop her knitting in surprise on the cat, who yowled and cowered underneath the soft leather chair.
-*-
After Simon had calmed down (which took about twenty minutes of prancing about the house in happiness—note, Simon was never a particularly hyperactive person, but for a Seattleite to acquire a means of getting to somewhere even rumored to have decent weather was somewhat akin to winning the lottery) he reread the congratulatory letter, and noticed something odd: It didn't mention the locked box, which he still couldn't get open. Picking locks was not one of his strong points, and though he suspected Avery could do it, said person was currently in Olympia protesting something related to freedom of expression, which Simon highly doubted was very political. The letter was unusually short, and although Simon didn't have any experience in this sort of thing, he would have thought there would be more advertising involved. He shrugged. Who cares? I'm going to the Caribbean! He checked the calendar and realized that September 26th was only four days away. Logically, he recognized that he should be packing. Realistically, he decided the first thing he would do was call Liana. He picked up the phone and punched out her number.
"Hello?" came Liana's voice over the phone. "Who is it?"
"Guess," said Simon, grinning.
"Simon! Hi! How're you doing? I was just thinking about you."
"Really?" Simon was pleased. "Sure you weren't thinking about a certain pirate character?" he joked.
"Nah," sighed Liana. "I do have some concept of reality, you know."
"Wow!"
"Hey, stop it. Anyway, were you calling for anything in particular, or did you just want to hear my sexy voice?" She laughed.
"I would call for that reason any time, dahhling, but I just thought I should let you know something…"
"What's that?"
"I'm going to be gone for four weeks."
"What?! That's dismal! Where are you going?" She sounded dismayed.
"Ah…well…I won some sweepstakes, so I'm going on vacation…"
"And where exactly are you going?" Her voice was sounding a bit dangerous.
"Promise you won't get pissed at me?"
"I'll promise no such thing, not until I know where you're going. It's not somewhere I want to go, is it? Not Italy or somewhere?" Liana was taking Italian, and desperately wanted to visit Italy, but like so many was constricted by her college-student budget.
"Hey, Li, look who's talking," said Simon, feigning indignation. "Weren't you the one who went with Sarah to Australia last summer?" Simon had been more than slightly jealous of that trip, although he'd handled it pretty well, he thought, being civil to Liana, and cursing after she'd left.
"Touché. Sorry. Tell me where you're going."
"I'm going on a cruise…"
"Where?!"
"The Caribbean."
Silence.
Then:
"Excuse me, I didn't hear that right. I could have sworn you said you were going to the Caribbean," Liana said at last, "but of course you said you wished you were going to the Caribbean with me, but instead you were going to Botswana. Right?"
"Botswana? Aren't they going through a war right now? Or is that somewhere else?"
"You need to keep up on world issues more, mister," said Liana good-naturedly. "So where did you say you were going?"
"The Caribbean."
"AUGH! Ce n'est pas vrai! Aaah, say it's not so! The Caribbean? Agony! How could you do this to me?" Much as her voice was filled with woe, Simon could tell the copious weeping over the phone was mocking and purely for entertainment, and she wasn't that distressed. Liana didn't get distressed very easily. She often talked like that, in that dramatic and colorful way, which was one of the things Simon liked about her so much.
"Alas, Li, it is so," replied Simon, amused. "I do really wish you could come, but the sponsor's only sponsoring me, which is decidedly dismal."
"You get to see where all the places are," said Liana mournfully. "Lucky…"
"On the other hand," added Simon dryly, "I don't know if your obsession needs to be fueled anymore than it already is."
"Obsessions live to be fueled!" declared Liana. "Always! Obsessions are the key to life!"
"Li, I am going to miss you on this trip."
"Yeah…I'm going to miss you too," Liana admitted. "A lot. But c'est la vie…plus," she continued in a mischievous voice, "I'll have time to do other things…" She laughed. "Nah, not really, although I'll turn my homework in on time more, that's for sure. You just better send me tons of postcards or I'll kill you!" she added as an afterthought.
"Anything you say," replied Simon. "'Course I will. Hey, d'you want to come over sometime before I go?"
"Yeah!" said Liana enthusiastically. "When?"
"Well, it can't be tonight, as I have to do an evil analysis essay…how about Thursday?"
"'K. See you then! Love you."
"Love you too." He hung up. I'm going to the freaking Caribbean! Yes!
He hadn't been this excited since he got accepted into the UW. "I guess I should pack now," he told himself reluctantly, and headed into his room to dig his little-used suitcase out of the closet, a task which would be similar to skiing during an avalanche. He didn't notice the wind picking up outside, the autumn leaves skittering along the ground as the trees swayed back and forth, and the usually calm waters of the Puget Sound starting to rock the Bremerton ferry on its way north.