Author: Asrai
E-Mail: ikh@haefft.de
Rating: R
Summary: What if Buffy was the screwed up one?
Spoilers: General spoilers for Btvs seasons 1 - 3
Disclaimers: I don't own Btvs nor do I make any money out of this; no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 09 - Touched
*"Hey, cutie! Nice skirt!" someone said and a large hand slapped her on the butt. Buffy whirled around and saw Robert, one of the more feared guys at school grinning and eying her short, black leather mini-skirt appreciatively.
"You know, if you'd dress like that all the time, someone might even want to look at your ugly face."
His friends who were standing around him laughed out. Buffy felt her face flush hotly and balled her hands into fists.
"Get lost, Robert."
He only leered at her and reached out a hand to rest on her hip. "I'm just saying, cutie! I mean, you really brought a guy to notice your a-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence because Buffy slapped him with all her might. What surprised her was that he flew back and crashed into a locker, unconscious.
Buffy stared at him with big eyes.
"Oh, crap."*
~~~
I begin to get worried after Faith hasn't shown up for a week. Sure, I told Willow what she can take care of herself but I haven't seen her since that night at the Bronze either- and that was a week ago. I'm not her babysitter and she doesn't have to check in with me every five minutes, but the girl was practically living with me for two weeks and then- poof.
I don't even want to be worried- when did that happen anyway?- because being worried means that I'm kind of attached to her, which leads straight to being dependant and this is so the last thing I need right now.
But I'm enough concerned that I voluntarily go the lion's den aka Sunnydale High library to ask about her.
Calling would've been an option, too, but I had nothing to do except to sleep or to stare at the walls 'cause the TV's broken. Me and my rotten luck.
Every self-respecting human being wouldn't be anywhere near the high school on a Sunday but Giles' a watcher; he probably sleeps there. And I don't know where he lives normally. I swore to myself that I wouldn't go to Faith's picture perfect family or her so-called friends- I do have some pride. Well, there's always Angel but I don't know his address either.
I blaze into the library calling out lout a "Anybody here?" and stop dead in my tracks as the complete Scooby Gang- including Angel, some unknown woman and, bingo, Faith- looks up from a pile of books, empty soda cans and pizza boxes. That question just answered itself, I see.
"Hello Buffy," Giles says, in a startled where-did-*you*-come-from tone.
"Hi. Big research party going on?"
"Yes."
Insert awkward pause here.
"So. I wanted to ask about Faith actually. 'Cause she kinda disappeared off my radar for the last days. But now that she's all peachy, I'll just leave and let you guys have fun with the researching."
I'm already out of the door when Faith comes after me.
"Wait!"
"What?" I unpack a gum with the greatest indifference possible and pop it in, slowly.
"I'm sorry I didn't catch up with you last week, but things have been. kind of crazy."
"So what? No biggie."
"But- see, there were these invincible demons and they beat me up pretty bad and- remember Scott?"
"The guy at the Bronze."
"Right. I- I slept with him."
"What's this to do with invincible demons? Unless he was one."
Faith shots me a disgusted look and snaps, "Of course not! I just. I felt so bad after that- I just wanted to get back at Xander and things went overboard from there. Do you know what it's like to wake up in someone else's bed and you just want to die?"
"Yeah," I sigh, "still, not seeing the connection to the demons here."
"I ran into them on Sunday, in broad daylight. I came, saw and got pummeled. I kinda woke up in the hospital with the whole gang looming over me."
"And you decided to pull the let's forgive and forget card."
"It just- jeez, Buffy, I woke up with little needles and tubes sticking in my body! I didn't decide anything, I just needed them. And no, Xander and I aren't together anymore. Satisfied now? But he and Willow are my only real friends here and.. and."
I can see that she wants to slap herself the moment the words have left her mouth. Too late to take them back now, sis'. At least I know now for sure what I tried to ignore the last weeks: I'm nothing but a substitute for her 'real' friends. Convenient if there's nobody else but dropped like something particularly icky afterwards.
Thanks a lot.
"I'm cool with that, sis'. Just wanted to see if you'd been eaten by a vampire or something like that. You should go back now, help the gang to research these demons. Wouldn't want to see you another time in the hospital."
"Do you want to help us? With the researching? I mean, you could come across them, too and I'm almost sure that there's till a few donuts left."
Now the guilt kicks in and her good manners demand that she make up for it. It's ridiculous how Faith's like an open book for me sometimes. The "no" is already at the tip of my tongue but then I remember my broken TV, so I say "yes" and go back to the library with her.
I sit down next to Angel and he half-smiles at me, "So you decided to join us?"
"Got nothing else to do. Who're you?" I ask the dark-haired woman who's way too old to be a student and doesn't look British enough to be a watcher.
"That's Giles' lady love," Xander mutters and grins at the watcher who's taken off his glasses to glare at him, "What? Isn't she?"
The woman looks up from her screen, "I'm Jenny, I'm a teacher here. I help Rupert sometimes with doing research on the net."
"Willow Version 2.0?"
"Something like that."
"So, what are you searching for?" I flip idly through a thick volume that's seen a few centuries more than me.
"Faith perhaps told you that she encountered a group of three demons near the college campus against she, am, lost. They seemed to be Beluah demons, at least their yellowish fur and red claws indicated that, but they couldn't be beaten by any weapon. Angel said that it could be a rare breed, relatives of the Beluah, or perhaps even a mutation."
"Okay," I snap my gum and begin to dig through the tomes. One book is bigger than the other and about half of them are written in Latin or ancient Sumerian or some other funky language I've never even heard of.
Giles clears his throat. "Please, do be careful, Buffy. Some of these books are extremely old and valuable. It would be a pity if they were damaged."
"Don't worry, I won't smear snot all over them," I roll my eyes, "I've done this before."
And without the support gang and junk food, too.
"Y-yes, I was just saying that you could handle them a bit more delicately- "
I slam the book shut and everybody flinches, but pretends not to have noticed. Angel lays a hand on my arm but I shrug it off and stand up. "I don't need to do this. You don't like me, I don't like you, so I'll get outta your hair now. Was stupid to come, anyway."
I march out of the room with seven pairs of eyes staring after me and throw a perfectly British-accented "Have a nice day" over my shoulder. Let them look for their rare breed; I already fought Beluahs a couple of months ago and I spent enough time reading stuff about them before - they can mate only every five years, how very important- and I know that there's not a rare breed nor a weird mutation thing going on. If Faith's too busy grieving over a one night stand and her lost love to get her ass kicked by three everyday-demons, well, that's her problem.
Me, I'm going to kill some Beluahs now.
~~~
I think fleetingly that Faith was damn right about them being invincible when Furry's claws rip my shirt apart and sink into my right shoulder. It hurts like hell and I have to grit my teeth to keep from crying out loud. Instead I punch him right on the nose- at least I suppose it's its nose- and taunt, "That all you got?"
It growls menacingly and its two fellow demons- Furry 2 and Furry 3- come to its side. I do realize that I'm in deep shit already and that my situation isn't likely to get better anytime soon but I won't go down without a fight and a few of well-placed quips.
"Should have know that anything which looks like a bad Teletubby clone would fight like one, too."
They lunge at me at once- how do they know what Teletubbies are?- and I make a dash towards, pushing Furry 2 back with all my weight. He stumbles and almost falls over his two companions which gives me enough time to pick up the knife I let drop earlier and ram it into its chest. One down, two to go- but the real weird and absolutely unfair thing is that the knife doesn't seem to affect it at all. No, Furry 2 gets right back up, unhindered by the rather pointy blade sticking in its chest and it has its claws all over me before I even realize what's happening.
"Hey! That's cheating," I wheedle as the other two grab me from behind and Furry 2 advances slowly. Through the haze of blood loss and exhaustion my brain registers that this fight contradicts everything I know about Beluahs. They are big, dangerous and can be really, really nasty sometimes. They aren't very intelligent, not to say completely dumb and just beat up everything that gets in the way until it gives up or is dead. No big difference from all the other demons out there, really.
But this group here fights controlled, like they have a plan. They aren't killable with a knife- which, by the way, is quite long and perfectly capable of sending annoying demons to hell-, they aren't even injured by it. I mean, hello! Are they on drugs or something? Or perhaps zombies- or Giles was right about that mutation thing.
My last conscious thought is that I'll keep my big mouth shut in the future; then I pass out.
~~~
"Oow," I groan softly and try to curl up into a little ball and die from the pain. I hurt so much, I can't even say which parts of me are still intact and which are not.
"Don't move!" an anxious voice says and I crack one eye open and see Angel hovering over me. I squint at him because he's kind of blurry and notice that the whole Scooby Gang is standing over me. Perfect. This is just what I needed, a new entry on Buffy's List of Embarrassment. This one will make it straight to the Pole Position and stay there for a long time, I think.
"Hi," I croak and lick my swollen lips, "How're you doing?"
"Please tell me she's being funny," Xander huffs, "We're not the ones who got the beating of their lives."
"I'm fine!" I protest and push myself into a sitting position. Angel grabs my left, uninjured shoulder to steady me and I don't have the power to shrug him off.
"Yeah, tell me another one," Faith comes into focus as I slowly stand up, more leaning onto Angel than standing on my own feet.
"How could you be so. stupid? I was in hospital because of these guys! Giles told you that they were invincible! But no, Buffy the Vampire Slayer has to go off and play hero, just to prove that she's the better Chosen One! Or were you just keen on some quality training session with you as the punching bag?"
"Faith, that's quite enough now," Giles intercepts and takes off his glasses, "I believe that Buffy's hardly in the condition for these matters now. We'll talk about this later."
"What's there to talk about?" Xander pipes up and if my body would stop being one big Pain, I'd punch him now.
"Super Slayer here almost got killed, Scooby Gang to the rescue, the demons are dead- let's party!"
"Xander!" Willow hisses softly.
"What?"
"I think it'll be the best if we bring you to the hospital, Buffy."
"No!" I flinch involuntarily and my knees buckle; I clutch Angel firmly to keep from falling.
"No hospital! I'll just get some aspirin and sleep and tomorrow I'll be as good as new. Without hospital."
Did I mention that I hate hospitals? Don't know why, I just do, I wouldn't go to one if my life depended on it. All those nurses and whiteness and fake comforting mood in the waiting room while people are dying in the next room. No thanks.
"I could take her home," Angel says and I look up, surprised.
"To me," he clarifies, "I can disinfect and wrap her wounds. She's a slayer, she'll heal fast."
"I don't know," Giles sighs, "Are you sure that you don't need to go to the hospital, Buffy? You look quite roughed up."
"Yes, I'm sure. Like, one hundred and fifty percent sure. Never been so sure of anything in my life." I mutter and lean a little more on Angel. I guess it would be bad if I passed out right now, huh?
"I'll come by the library tomorrow, okay?"
Angel's chest rumbles against my cheek as he speaks and it's comforting. I could fall asleep; it's safe now. I'm safe now.
"See you tomorrow, then," Faith's voice is far away and kind of hazy.. I don't protest as Angel picks me up and cradles me against his chest as he carries me down the dark streets of Sunnydale. I'm in some weird kind of sleep where you're very, very tired and feel all boneless and puddle-y. Nothing hurts but everything's warm.
I wake up abruptly when something burning is poured on my skin.
"Ouch!"
"Sorry," Angel has gotten the remains of my shirt off and leans over my shoulder, trying to disinfect it as gently as possible.
"The pain will pass in a sec."
"I know," I hiss, "I've done this before. Doesn't make it any easier right now though."
"So you get yourself slashed open on a regular basis?"
"Pretty much. Slayer, remember?"
I look around me curiously; this is Angel's apartment. I've never been to a vampire's apartment before. I feel guilty for that thought a second later. Yes, Angel is technically a vampire, but he has a soul- a human one. She he's kind of human. Who drinks blood and has a sun allergy. Yep, that's it.
"But tonight you almost died. You have to be more careful in the future."
I clutch the sheets beneath my hands. They're soft. silk? It somehow fits Angel, like the rest of the room, or that bit I can see anyway. Dark with some small lights on and the seems to be a large bookshelf in the corner.
"Why?"
"What?" Angel looks up from the bandage he's wrapping around my shoulder. His cool fingertips caress my bare skin for a moment and I suck in my breath and try to focus on everything else *but* his fingertips.
"What, 'why'?"
"Why be more careful in the future? Doesn't matter if die. I get myself killed, another slayer's called, it's how it works. There's nobody who'd miss me anyway," I finish bitterly and wonder how wallowing in self pity has become a hobby of mine lately.
"Don't say that."
"It's true."
"No. It's not true and you know that, Buffy," he says with conviction, then fixes the bandage with some clasps. His hand lingers shortly on my shoulder, then wanders slowly up my neck and comes to rest on my cheek. It leaves a trail of goose bumps in its wake and I could dissolve into a big puddle of goo in the moment when he starts drawing small patterns on my skin.
"I would miss you, Buffy."
The only logical thing to do is to kiss him then, of course. And so my face comes closer to his, my eyes seeking reassurance in his silently. When they find it in these brown orbs I could drown in, they close and my lips touch his hesitantly.
Like when I first looked into Angel's eyes, this moment will stay with me forever, in full Technicolor. I know that I'll always be able to recall the feel of these soft lips; his reflexive breath that tickles just a little and his hands, one resting on my cheek the whole time, the other one drawing me closer to him
This is how it's supposed to be; this is perfect.
E-Mail: ikh@haefft.de
Rating: R
Summary: What if Buffy was the screwed up one?
Spoilers: General spoilers for Btvs seasons 1 - 3
Disclaimers: I don't own Btvs nor do I make any money out of this; no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 09 - Touched
*"Hey, cutie! Nice skirt!" someone said and a large hand slapped her on the butt. Buffy whirled around and saw Robert, one of the more feared guys at school grinning and eying her short, black leather mini-skirt appreciatively.
"You know, if you'd dress like that all the time, someone might even want to look at your ugly face."
His friends who were standing around him laughed out. Buffy felt her face flush hotly and balled her hands into fists.
"Get lost, Robert."
He only leered at her and reached out a hand to rest on her hip. "I'm just saying, cutie! I mean, you really brought a guy to notice your a-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence because Buffy slapped him with all her might. What surprised her was that he flew back and crashed into a locker, unconscious.
Buffy stared at him with big eyes.
"Oh, crap."*
~~~
I begin to get worried after Faith hasn't shown up for a week. Sure, I told Willow what she can take care of herself but I haven't seen her since that night at the Bronze either- and that was a week ago. I'm not her babysitter and she doesn't have to check in with me every five minutes, but the girl was practically living with me for two weeks and then- poof.
I don't even want to be worried- when did that happen anyway?- because being worried means that I'm kind of attached to her, which leads straight to being dependant and this is so the last thing I need right now.
But I'm enough concerned that I voluntarily go the lion's den aka Sunnydale High library to ask about her.
Calling would've been an option, too, but I had nothing to do except to sleep or to stare at the walls 'cause the TV's broken. Me and my rotten luck.
Every self-respecting human being wouldn't be anywhere near the high school on a Sunday but Giles' a watcher; he probably sleeps there. And I don't know where he lives normally. I swore to myself that I wouldn't go to Faith's picture perfect family or her so-called friends- I do have some pride. Well, there's always Angel but I don't know his address either.
I blaze into the library calling out lout a "Anybody here?" and stop dead in my tracks as the complete Scooby Gang- including Angel, some unknown woman and, bingo, Faith- looks up from a pile of books, empty soda cans and pizza boxes. That question just answered itself, I see.
"Hello Buffy," Giles says, in a startled where-did-*you*-come-from tone.
"Hi. Big research party going on?"
"Yes."
Insert awkward pause here.
"So. I wanted to ask about Faith actually. 'Cause she kinda disappeared off my radar for the last days. But now that she's all peachy, I'll just leave and let you guys have fun with the researching."
I'm already out of the door when Faith comes after me.
"Wait!"
"What?" I unpack a gum with the greatest indifference possible and pop it in, slowly.
"I'm sorry I didn't catch up with you last week, but things have been. kind of crazy."
"So what? No biggie."
"But- see, there were these invincible demons and they beat me up pretty bad and- remember Scott?"
"The guy at the Bronze."
"Right. I- I slept with him."
"What's this to do with invincible demons? Unless he was one."
Faith shots me a disgusted look and snaps, "Of course not! I just. I felt so bad after that- I just wanted to get back at Xander and things went overboard from there. Do you know what it's like to wake up in someone else's bed and you just want to die?"
"Yeah," I sigh, "still, not seeing the connection to the demons here."
"I ran into them on Sunday, in broad daylight. I came, saw and got pummeled. I kinda woke up in the hospital with the whole gang looming over me."
"And you decided to pull the let's forgive and forget card."
"It just- jeez, Buffy, I woke up with little needles and tubes sticking in my body! I didn't decide anything, I just needed them. And no, Xander and I aren't together anymore. Satisfied now? But he and Willow are my only real friends here and.. and."
I can see that she wants to slap herself the moment the words have left her mouth. Too late to take them back now, sis'. At least I know now for sure what I tried to ignore the last weeks: I'm nothing but a substitute for her 'real' friends. Convenient if there's nobody else but dropped like something particularly icky afterwards.
Thanks a lot.
"I'm cool with that, sis'. Just wanted to see if you'd been eaten by a vampire or something like that. You should go back now, help the gang to research these demons. Wouldn't want to see you another time in the hospital."
"Do you want to help us? With the researching? I mean, you could come across them, too and I'm almost sure that there's till a few donuts left."
Now the guilt kicks in and her good manners demand that she make up for it. It's ridiculous how Faith's like an open book for me sometimes. The "no" is already at the tip of my tongue but then I remember my broken TV, so I say "yes" and go back to the library with her.
I sit down next to Angel and he half-smiles at me, "So you decided to join us?"
"Got nothing else to do. Who're you?" I ask the dark-haired woman who's way too old to be a student and doesn't look British enough to be a watcher.
"That's Giles' lady love," Xander mutters and grins at the watcher who's taken off his glasses to glare at him, "What? Isn't she?"
The woman looks up from her screen, "I'm Jenny, I'm a teacher here. I help Rupert sometimes with doing research on the net."
"Willow Version 2.0?"
"Something like that."
"So, what are you searching for?" I flip idly through a thick volume that's seen a few centuries more than me.
"Faith perhaps told you that she encountered a group of three demons near the college campus against she, am, lost. They seemed to be Beluah demons, at least their yellowish fur and red claws indicated that, but they couldn't be beaten by any weapon. Angel said that it could be a rare breed, relatives of the Beluah, or perhaps even a mutation."
"Okay," I snap my gum and begin to dig through the tomes. One book is bigger than the other and about half of them are written in Latin or ancient Sumerian or some other funky language I've never even heard of.
Giles clears his throat. "Please, do be careful, Buffy. Some of these books are extremely old and valuable. It would be a pity if they were damaged."
"Don't worry, I won't smear snot all over them," I roll my eyes, "I've done this before."
And without the support gang and junk food, too.
"Y-yes, I was just saying that you could handle them a bit more delicately- "
I slam the book shut and everybody flinches, but pretends not to have noticed. Angel lays a hand on my arm but I shrug it off and stand up. "I don't need to do this. You don't like me, I don't like you, so I'll get outta your hair now. Was stupid to come, anyway."
I march out of the room with seven pairs of eyes staring after me and throw a perfectly British-accented "Have a nice day" over my shoulder. Let them look for their rare breed; I already fought Beluahs a couple of months ago and I spent enough time reading stuff about them before - they can mate only every five years, how very important- and I know that there's not a rare breed nor a weird mutation thing going on. If Faith's too busy grieving over a one night stand and her lost love to get her ass kicked by three everyday-demons, well, that's her problem.
Me, I'm going to kill some Beluahs now.
~~~
I think fleetingly that Faith was damn right about them being invincible when Furry's claws rip my shirt apart and sink into my right shoulder. It hurts like hell and I have to grit my teeth to keep from crying out loud. Instead I punch him right on the nose- at least I suppose it's its nose- and taunt, "That all you got?"
It growls menacingly and its two fellow demons- Furry 2 and Furry 3- come to its side. I do realize that I'm in deep shit already and that my situation isn't likely to get better anytime soon but I won't go down without a fight and a few of well-placed quips.
"Should have know that anything which looks like a bad Teletubby clone would fight like one, too."
They lunge at me at once- how do they know what Teletubbies are?- and I make a dash towards, pushing Furry 2 back with all my weight. He stumbles and almost falls over his two companions which gives me enough time to pick up the knife I let drop earlier and ram it into its chest. One down, two to go- but the real weird and absolutely unfair thing is that the knife doesn't seem to affect it at all. No, Furry 2 gets right back up, unhindered by the rather pointy blade sticking in its chest and it has its claws all over me before I even realize what's happening.
"Hey! That's cheating," I wheedle as the other two grab me from behind and Furry 2 advances slowly. Through the haze of blood loss and exhaustion my brain registers that this fight contradicts everything I know about Beluahs. They are big, dangerous and can be really, really nasty sometimes. They aren't very intelligent, not to say completely dumb and just beat up everything that gets in the way until it gives up or is dead. No big difference from all the other demons out there, really.
But this group here fights controlled, like they have a plan. They aren't killable with a knife- which, by the way, is quite long and perfectly capable of sending annoying demons to hell-, they aren't even injured by it. I mean, hello! Are they on drugs or something? Or perhaps zombies- or Giles was right about that mutation thing.
My last conscious thought is that I'll keep my big mouth shut in the future; then I pass out.
~~~
"Oow," I groan softly and try to curl up into a little ball and die from the pain. I hurt so much, I can't even say which parts of me are still intact and which are not.
"Don't move!" an anxious voice says and I crack one eye open and see Angel hovering over me. I squint at him because he's kind of blurry and notice that the whole Scooby Gang is standing over me. Perfect. This is just what I needed, a new entry on Buffy's List of Embarrassment. This one will make it straight to the Pole Position and stay there for a long time, I think.
"Hi," I croak and lick my swollen lips, "How're you doing?"
"Please tell me she's being funny," Xander huffs, "We're not the ones who got the beating of their lives."
"I'm fine!" I protest and push myself into a sitting position. Angel grabs my left, uninjured shoulder to steady me and I don't have the power to shrug him off.
"Yeah, tell me another one," Faith comes into focus as I slowly stand up, more leaning onto Angel than standing on my own feet.
"How could you be so. stupid? I was in hospital because of these guys! Giles told you that they were invincible! But no, Buffy the Vampire Slayer has to go off and play hero, just to prove that she's the better Chosen One! Or were you just keen on some quality training session with you as the punching bag?"
"Faith, that's quite enough now," Giles intercepts and takes off his glasses, "I believe that Buffy's hardly in the condition for these matters now. We'll talk about this later."
"What's there to talk about?" Xander pipes up and if my body would stop being one big Pain, I'd punch him now.
"Super Slayer here almost got killed, Scooby Gang to the rescue, the demons are dead- let's party!"
"Xander!" Willow hisses softly.
"What?"
"I think it'll be the best if we bring you to the hospital, Buffy."
"No!" I flinch involuntarily and my knees buckle; I clutch Angel firmly to keep from falling.
"No hospital! I'll just get some aspirin and sleep and tomorrow I'll be as good as new. Without hospital."
Did I mention that I hate hospitals? Don't know why, I just do, I wouldn't go to one if my life depended on it. All those nurses and whiteness and fake comforting mood in the waiting room while people are dying in the next room. No thanks.
"I could take her home," Angel says and I look up, surprised.
"To me," he clarifies, "I can disinfect and wrap her wounds. She's a slayer, she'll heal fast."
"I don't know," Giles sighs, "Are you sure that you don't need to go to the hospital, Buffy? You look quite roughed up."
"Yes, I'm sure. Like, one hundred and fifty percent sure. Never been so sure of anything in my life." I mutter and lean a little more on Angel. I guess it would be bad if I passed out right now, huh?
"I'll come by the library tomorrow, okay?"
Angel's chest rumbles against my cheek as he speaks and it's comforting. I could fall asleep; it's safe now. I'm safe now.
"See you tomorrow, then," Faith's voice is far away and kind of hazy.. I don't protest as Angel picks me up and cradles me against his chest as he carries me down the dark streets of Sunnydale. I'm in some weird kind of sleep where you're very, very tired and feel all boneless and puddle-y. Nothing hurts but everything's warm.
I wake up abruptly when something burning is poured on my skin.
"Ouch!"
"Sorry," Angel has gotten the remains of my shirt off and leans over my shoulder, trying to disinfect it as gently as possible.
"The pain will pass in a sec."
"I know," I hiss, "I've done this before. Doesn't make it any easier right now though."
"So you get yourself slashed open on a regular basis?"
"Pretty much. Slayer, remember?"
I look around me curiously; this is Angel's apartment. I've never been to a vampire's apartment before. I feel guilty for that thought a second later. Yes, Angel is technically a vampire, but he has a soul- a human one. She he's kind of human. Who drinks blood and has a sun allergy. Yep, that's it.
"But tonight you almost died. You have to be more careful in the future."
I clutch the sheets beneath my hands. They're soft. silk? It somehow fits Angel, like the rest of the room, or that bit I can see anyway. Dark with some small lights on and the seems to be a large bookshelf in the corner.
"Why?"
"What?" Angel looks up from the bandage he's wrapping around my shoulder. His cool fingertips caress my bare skin for a moment and I suck in my breath and try to focus on everything else *but* his fingertips.
"What, 'why'?"
"Why be more careful in the future? Doesn't matter if die. I get myself killed, another slayer's called, it's how it works. There's nobody who'd miss me anyway," I finish bitterly and wonder how wallowing in self pity has become a hobby of mine lately.
"Don't say that."
"It's true."
"No. It's not true and you know that, Buffy," he says with conviction, then fixes the bandage with some clasps. His hand lingers shortly on my shoulder, then wanders slowly up my neck and comes to rest on my cheek. It leaves a trail of goose bumps in its wake and I could dissolve into a big puddle of goo in the moment when he starts drawing small patterns on my skin.
"I would miss you, Buffy."
The only logical thing to do is to kiss him then, of course. And so my face comes closer to his, my eyes seeking reassurance in his silently. When they find it in these brown orbs I could drown in, they close and my lips touch his hesitantly.
Like when I first looked into Angel's eyes, this moment will stay with me forever, in full Technicolor. I know that I'll always be able to recall the feel of these soft lips; his reflexive breath that tickles just a little and his hands, one resting on my cheek the whole time, the other one drawing me closer to him
This is how it's supposed to be; this is perfect.