Author: Asrai
E-Mail: ikh@haefft.de
Rating: R
Summary: What if Buffy was the screwed up one?
Spoilers: General spoilers for Btvs seasons 1 - 3
Disclaimers: I don't own Btvs nor do I make any money out of this; no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 11 - Temptation
*She sat on the swing and watched the stars when Thomas found her. Quietly, he sat next to her on the too small swing and for a little while the only sounds were that of a normal night in Los Angeles. Finally, Buffy broke the silence between them.
"Sorry that I ran off like that. I just needed some fresh air."
"It's alright, Buffy. I did jump you with this whole affair after all.."
Buffy began to swing tentatively and remembered a time when she'd watched the other kids doing this with their parents while she'd stood by.
"So, what's she's like?"
"Faith? I don't know, I never met the girl. The Council didn't tell me much, except that she died, but came back to life with the help of her friends. She lives on the hellmouth, with her watcher."
"Must be exciting."
"Probably."
She swung higher and higher, until she had the feeling that her feet could touch the stars, somehow. Then Buffy somersaulted off the swing in high air to impress her watcher and smiled at him.
"Let's go home."*
~~~
"You wanted to see me?"
"Ah yes, Buffy, sit down, please," Giles gestures at a chair and I plop down on it, yawning widely just to show him that I don't care that called me to the library for 'something important'. Which I don't, just to make that clear. I don't care much for anything these days.
"As you certainly know, it's your birthday in a few weeks and you'll be eighteen, a crucial age for a slayer."
I snort, twisting one of my locks with my fingers. Perhaps I should cut my hair. Or dye it. Black. Or green? Something ugly, something screaming 'I don't give a damn!' at the world loudly. The goldilocks-look is so not made for that.
"Yeah, sure. Your point is?"
"It's, am, the time to begin a new stage in your training, which, by the way, has been really neglected lately."
"Been busy."
"As I was saying, this new stage includes new exercises such as meditating with some, am, gemstones. here."
Giles opens a small box to reveal some glittery stones and I sit up abruptly. Wait a minute.
"You have to concentrate on their structure-"
"Why isn't Faith doing this?"
"I beg your pardon?"
I stand up and cross my arms. I remember the dream I had just a few hours ago, Thomas telling me to remember, telling me that they took his 'angel' away from him, too. An I remember. My ass, I do.
"Why isn't Faith doing this meditation crap? She's been the slayer longer than me and she's never told me anything about the structures of gemstones being part of her training."
Giles takes off his glasses and searches absentmindedly for something to clean them with. "But she is younger than you. This training has been developed specifically for slayers soon to be eighteen. She'll undergo the same training in a few months."
"That's crap, and you know it."
"Excuse me?" He puts his glasses back on and stares at me.
"Watcher, let me tell you a little story."
I begin to pace around the room, feeling his eyes on me the whole time.
"You knew my watcher? Thomas?"
"N-no, I didn't, I'm sorry," he says, confused.
I shrug, "Anyway. So, he had a twin sister, Rose. When they were about two years old, there were some nice old gentlemen knocking on their parents' door. Turns out the gentlemen were watchers and they wanted to take Rose, 'cause she was one of the few probably-to-be-chosen chicks."
I wander to the counter and look through a stack of books while avoiding directly looking at Giles.
"Her parents said no to the whole taking-her-away thing though. Rose was trained to be a slayer, but she lived with her family. And really, one day, bang! super-strength and she could kick vampire ass for real. Her watcher moved in her house, hung around her 24/7 from then, became a part of the family and apocalypses came and went peacefully until one day shortly before her 18th birthday, this watcher pulled the whole new-stage-of- training-gig on her."
"You wanna know how the story ends, Giles?"
He raises a brow, "I'm sure you will tell me."
"But you already know it, right? Rose died on her 18th birthday because she couldn't defend herself against that vampire that her watcher had locked her up with after he'd stolen all her strength and powers. She died during the Cruciamentum," I spit the word out like it's something very nasty and disgusting, which it really is, after all.
"So," I spread my arms out wide, "is that your brand-new exercise? Inject Buffy with some drug so she'll be eaten by the evil vampire later?"
"I." he seems to be at a loss for words and I rave right on, too mad about him, too mad about Angel being a bastard, too mad about anything to notice that I'm shouting, "Well, tell you what! You're not my watcher! And you can take your Cruciamentum and all the other sick little tests you got planned out and shove them up your ass! I don't work for you and I don't work for the Council anymore either! You screw with my life again and again and then you kill me off? Great plan. Wonder how Faith will react when you try to murder her, too."
"Buffy, this is my duty, it wasn't a personal choice- I wish I could-"
"You wish what?"
Suddenly all my energy's gone, all my energy to be mad and scream. I'm tired now. I just want to sleep and not wake up for a very long time.
I chuckle but it sounds more like a sob and I decide to get the hell out of dodge before the sob-like sound can turn into a real one, which would lead to crying, and I won't do that. I never do that.
"It doesn't matter. Tell the council that I'm done with them. I'm done with all of you!"
I storm out of the library and a part of my still functional brain muses over my ever-present ability to make a spectacular exit.
Once outside of the school I take a deep breath and look around. Nobody's in sight- that's clear 'cause lunch break hasn't started yet, but there's no cars passing on the streets either and for a moment I live in the bizarre illusion that I'm all alone and that there's no other human being in the world than me. Which is, of course, nonsense, but still- I can't shake off that feeling completely. I look at the sky which is to my surprise not nauseatingly sunny and blue, but gray and looks just as depressing as my mood.
~~~
The rain is pouring down on me when Angel finds me.
I sit on a park bench in the middle of the night, which would be a sure one- way ticket to victims-for-vampires land for a normal person. But I'm not a normal person and so I can sit on a park bench trying to count the rain drops falling on my nose at 11 p.m. without getting snacked on. I close my eyes for a second and when I open them again, Angel's looming over me.
I blink. "Hi."
He, in turn, grips my arms so tightly that I almost wince and shakes me.
"Buffy, where have you been?"
I blink again and sit slowly upright, shaking his hands off.
"What do you mean?"
"What do I-" he stops and stares at me like I'm some rare, extra-exotic animal in a zoo that's just stuck out his tongue at the gaping visitors.
"Are you serious? You- you just disappeared for three days- we turned Sunnydale upright down!- and you aren't at home, or at work and everybody's been worried and you have-" he takes a deep breath, more to calm himself, I guess, 'cause he doesn't really needs to breathe after all, "You have the nerve to ask me 'What I mean'?"
For Angel, that's quite a speech. And with so much emotion, too. Still, I'm not in the mood to be mollycoddled by some- some vampire who didn't even have the guts to admit that I'm his girlfriend.
"Chill! I'm just peachy, as you can see, I just needed some time away from old SunnyD, that's all."
"And you couldn't have told someone of your plans? You should have seen Faith, she's barely slept-"
"Bullshit," I interrupt him bluntly, " I doubt that my sis' would've even noticed me being AWOL if her watcher hadn't called in a Scooby-Emergency- Meeting for Members Only the minute I stepped out of that dusty library of his."
By Angel's look, I can tell that I'm right. I slowly stand up, pick up the small back containing all my personal stuff and sling it over my shoulder. I continue, while trying stubbornly to ignore how sexy and downright edible he looks with his hair wet from the rain and the glistening black coat, "And, as I already told the Watch-Man, I work for nobody but for myself. If I decide to skip town for a few days, he's the last person who'd get a 'See you soon' card."
He looks at his feet and his voice sounds very soft as he asks, "And what about me?"
"You!" I put all my anger in that one word; anger which is not all even directed at Angel. No, a good part of that is dedicated solely to Giles, that damn Council of Watchers and the world in general.
"You!" I repeat again and resist the urge to stomp my feet like a five year old.
"To be perfectly honest with you, I didn't think you'd give a flying fuck about where I was, not more that the Dream Team itself. I mean, if you're not sure that I'm your girlfriend, then what am I to you after all, Angel? A casual acquaintance? A fellow soldier in the everlasting, epic war against Evil? Or just someone to have fun with during otherwise boring patrols?"
Angel looks at me like I've sprouted a second, extra-slimy pink head and I cross my arms and glare back defiantly.
"What," he eventually says softly, "makes you think that you're not my," he hesitates shortly, "my girlfriend?"
He says that one word as if it's something delicate that could break at the slightest motion; and I can't help it- my anger's suddenly gone and so is any desire to fight with Angel. I just want to turn back time a little, before Giles's phone call, before Faith's visit and kiss him.
"I-" I begin. Then, deciding that me being able to turn back time isn't going to happen anytime soon and that I'd really like to kiss Angel right now, I skip the explanations and excuses, launch myself at him and start kissing him like there's no tomorrow.
Angel wraps his arms automatically around me and leans down to meet my lips. In between nipping his bottom lip and tracing it with my tongue- oh, it's been far too long since I've been able to do that- I mutter a soft "I'm sorry" and although it must have been almost impossible to hear it, he seems to understand me 'cause he tightens his arms around me and smiles a little.
~~~
Coming out of the bathroom, I throw a towel at Angel and plop down on the bed.
"Sorry, it's the last one."
"It's okay," he mutters and takes off his coat which is soaking wet. I imagine that we both look more like drowned rats than anything else right now.
I pat on the spot on the bed next to me, "C'mere."
Angel obediently sits down and I tug at his shirt. He gives me and almost panicked look and I have to suppress a grin, "I'm not going to jump you or anything, I just want to gawk at your perfect body while pretending to dry you off."
"Well, in that case." he smiles and starts unbuttoning his shirt, "Buffy, can we- can we resume where you kind of interrupted? Not that I minded that very much," he adds hastily.
I sigh; should have known that this kind of diversion tactic would be only a temporary success.
"I. when Faith was at your apartment warning you about the dangers of dating SunnyD's second slayer, I was-"
"Eavesdropping?" he finishes for me and I shake my head in indignation, "No! Well- not really, I just happened to stand in front of your door. I can't be blamed for having super-hearing, can I? It was all the fault of your walls, I mean, if they'd been thicker." I trail off, fully aware of the fact that I'm babbling.
"I- when Faith said all those, those things about me and you didn't say anything and- and I know that she's probably right, but," I swallow to make the lump in my throat disappear, "I was just mad at you in that moment, you know? Blame it on screwed up slayer hormones or something."
"Hey," Angel embraces me so that my head's buried against his shoulder and starts stroking my back, "It's alright that you were mad, it's my fault. I acted like an idiot with Faith. But here she was, standing on my doorstep in the middle of the day and with this speech probably mapped out in her head. I'm sorry I hurt you, Buffy."
He slowly kisses my forehead, gently, then my nose and mouth. I cuddle up against him, not caring very much about Faith anymore.
"It's 'k," I mumble, "if I can make a sign saying "Buffy's my girlfriend!" in neon printing that you have to wear around your neck day and night."
Angels smiles, "If you wear a similar sign around your neck."
Then he's serious again, "Was that why you ran away?"
"I didn't run away;" I protest half-heartedly, beginning to feel very warm and cozy and just plain perfect, "I took a vacation! And no, that's not why," I sigh and look out of the window; it's pitch black outside.
"Have you heard of a thing called the 'Cruciamentum'?" I ask Angel.
He shrugs, "Yes. Rumor has it that it's an ancient test for slayers. Most of them die in the process, but that's all I know."
"It's not so ancient. Giles wanted to put me through it."
"What?"
"Yeah," I say, trying to sound indifferent, "Imagine my surprise when the Watch-Man called me, sounding twice as stuffy as usual. He blabbed something about a new phase of my training- training, my ass!- and then tried to hypnotize me."
At Angel's questioning look, I explain, "He would've injected me with some drug- it would've taken all my shiny super-powers away. The actual test is the big birthday surprise from the Council with love. You get locked in a house with a vampire and have to kill him. Somehow. If you do, goody for you, if not." I raise my eyebrows and smile bitterly, "then on with the show and a new slayer. So you understand now why I blew up at the Watch-Man and my need for some time off, don't you?"
Angel doesn't say anything for a while, just sort of clutches me in his arms like I could evaporate if he doesn't pay attention. His voice sounds choked, "Giles- *Giles* tried to do this?"
"Yeah," I say, "he was fulfilling his duty as a watcher. He'd be fired if he didn't do it."
"But- how did you know?"
"My watcher told me," I say, not wanting to tell the whole drama again, "He- well, he didn't really play by the rules, you know? But hey, something good comes out of this- you can tell Faith, 'cause she'll want to survive her 18th birthday, too."
"Yes," he sighs, "Buffy, I'm so glad that you're alright."
I'm flattered, I gotta admit that. Up to this point, I've had exactly one person who really cared about me- I like that feeling. I like Angel's voice when he says that; that voice has the ability to turn my knees into goo and to throw Be-Careful!Buffy right out of the window.
I sit up slowly and let my fingers trail across his chest. He sucks in an unnecessary breath when I start kissing my way up to his mouth and thankfully doesn't resist when I push him back so that we both lie on the bed now. He's still got his arms wrapped around me and they slowly start exploring the skin underneath my tank top.
Smiling against Angel's mouth, I begin fumbling with the zipper of his pants, when he suddenly grabs my wrists.
"Buffy." he swallows and I can look into his dark brown eyes and see myself reflected in them, "Are you- sure? I mean-"
I interrupt him gently by batting his hands away and kissing him again. This is not sudden; it's not rushed. Ever since I first kissed Angel, I wanted him- I wanted and want him to be mine and I want to be as close to him as I can possibly get and now, though not planned at all, is the perfect time for it.
"I've never been so sure of anything in my life."
E-Mail: ikh@haefft.de
Rating: R
Summary: What if Buffy was the screwed up one?
Spoilers: General spoilers for Btvs seasons 1 - 3
Disclaimers: I don't own Btvs nor do I make any money out of this; no copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 11 - Temptation
*She sat on the swing and watched the stars when Thomas found her. Quietly, he sat next to her on the too small swing and for a little while the only sounds were that of a normal night in Los Angeles. Finally, Buffy broke the silence between them.
"Sorry that I ran off like that. I just needed some fresh air."
"It's alright, Buffy. I did jump you with this whole affair after all.."
Buffy began to swing tentatively and remembered a time when she'd watched the other kids doing this with their parents while she'd stood by.
"So, what's she's like?"
"Faith? I don't know, I never met the girl. The Council didn't tell me much, except that she died, but came back to life with the help of her friends. She lives on the hellmouth, with her watcher."
"Must be exciting."
"Probably."
She swung higher and higher, until she had the feeling that her feet could touch the stars, somehow. Then Buffy somersaulted off the swing in high air to impress her watcher and smiled at him.
"Let's go home."*
~~~
"You wanted to see me?"
"Ah yes, Buffy, sit down, please," Giles gestures at a chair and I plop down on it, yawning widely just to show him that I don't care that called me to the library for 'something important'. Which I don't, just to make that clear. I don't care much for anything these days.
"As you certainly know, it's your birthday in a few weeks and you'll be eighteen, a crucial age for a slayer."
I snort, twisting one of my locks with my fingers. Perhaps I should cut my hair. Or dye it. Black. Or green? Something ugly, something screaming 'I don't give a damn!' at the world loudly. The goldilocks-look is so not made for that.
"Yeah, sure. Your point is?"
"It's, am, the time to begin a new stage in your training, which, by the way, has been really neglected lately."
"Been busy."
"As I was saying, this new stage includes new exercises such as meditating with some, am, gemstones. here."
Giles opens a small box to reveal some glittery stones and I sit up abruptly. Wait a minute.
"You have to concentrate on their structure-"
"Why isn't Faith doing this?"
"I beg your pardon?"
I stand up and cross my arms. I remember the dream I had just a few hours ago, Thomas telling me to remember, telling me that they took his 'angel' away from him, too. An I remember. My ass, I do.
"Why isn't Faith doing this meditation crap? She's been the slayer longer than me and she's never told me anything about the structures of gemstones being part of her training."
Giles takes off his glasses and searches absentmindedly for something to clean them with. "But she is younger than you. This training has been developed specifically for slayers soon to be eighteen. She'll undergo the same training in a few months."
"That's crap, and you know it."
"Excuse me?" He puts his glasses back on and stares at me.
"Watcher, let me tell you a little story."
I begin to pace around the room, feeling his eyes on me the whole time.
"You knew my watcher? Thomas?"
"N-no, I didn't, I'm sorry," he says, confused.
I shrug, "Anyway. So, he had a twin sister, Rose. When they were about two years old, there were some nice old gentlemen knocking on their parents' door. Turns out the gentlemen were watchers and they wanted to take Rose, 'cause she was one of the few probably-to-be-chosen chicks."
I wander to the counter and look through a stack of books while avoiding directly looking at Giles.
"Her parents said no to the whole taking-her-away thing though. Rose was trained to be a slayer, but she lived with her family. And really, one day, bang! super-strength and she could kick vampire ass for real. Her watcher moved in her house, hung around her 24/7 from then, became a part of the family and apocalypses came and went peacefully until one day shortly before her 18th birthday, this watcher pulled the whole new-stage-of- training-gig on her."
"You wanna know how the story ends, Giles?"
He raises a brow, "I'm sure you will tell me."
"But you already know it, right? Rose died on her 18th birthday because she couldn't defend herself against that vampire that her watcher had locked her up with after he'd stolen all her strength and powers. She died during the Cruciamentum," I spit the word out like it's something very nasty and disgusting, which it really is, after all.
"So," I spread my arms out wide, "is that your brand-new exercise? Inject Buffy with some drug so she'll be eaten by the evil vampire later?"
"I." he seems to be at a loss for words and I rave right on, too mad about him, too mad about Angel being a bastard, too mad about anything to notice that I'm shouting, "Well, tell you what! You're not my watcher! And you can take your Cruciamentum and all the other sick little tests you got planned out and shove them up your ass! I don't work for you and I don't work for the Council anymore either! You screw with my life again and again and then you kill me off? Great plan. Wonder how Faith will react when you try to murder her, too."
"Buffy, this is my duty, it wasn't a personal choice- I wish I could-"
"You wish what?"
Suddenly all my energy's gone, all my energy to be mad and scream. I'm tired now. I just want to sleep and not wake up for a very long time.
I chuckle but it sounds more like a sob and I decide to get the hell out of dodge before the sob-like sound can turn into a real one, which would lead to crying, and I won't do that. I never do that.
"It doesn't matter. Tell the council that I'm done with them. I'm done with all of you!"
I storm out of the library and a part of my still functional brain muses over my ever-present ability to make a spectacular exit.
Once outside of the school I take a deep breath and look around. Nobody's in sight- that's clear 'cause lunch break hasn't started yet, but there's no cars passing on the streets either and for a moment I live in the bizarre illusion that I'm all alone and that there's no other human being in the world than me. Which is, of course, nonsense, but still- I can't shake off that feeling completely. I look at the sky which is to my surprise not nauseatingly sunny and blue, but gray and looks just as depressing as my mood.
~~~
The rain is pouring down on me when Angel finds me.
I sit on a park bench in the middle of the night, which would be a sure one- way ticket to victims-for-vampires land for a normal person. But I'm not a normal person and so I can sit on a park bench trying to count the rain drops falling on my nose at 11 p.m. without getting snacked on. I close my eyes for a second and when I open them again, Angel's looming over me.
I blink. "Hi."
He, in turn, grips my arms so tightly that I almost wince and shakes me.
"Buffy, where have you been?"
I blink again and sit slowly upright, shaking his hands off.
"What do you mean?"
"What do I-" he stops and stares at me like I'm some rare, extra-exotic animal in a zoo that's just stuck out his tongue at the gaping visitors.
"Are you serious? You- you just disappeared for three days- we turned Sunnydale upright down!- and you aren't at home, or at work and everybody's been worried and you have-" he takes a deep breath, more to calm himself, I guess, 'cause he doesn't really needs to breathe after all, "You have the nerve to ask me 'What I mean'?"
For Angel, that's quite a speech. And with so much emotion, too. Still, I'm not in the mood to be mollycoddled by some- some vampire who didn't even have the guts to admit that I'm his girlfriend.
"Chill! I'm just peachy, as you can see, I just needed some time away from old SunnyD, that's all."
"And you couldn't have told someone of your plans? You should have seen Faith, she's barely slept-"
"Bullshit," I interrupt him bluntly, " I doubt that my sis' would've even noticed me being AWOL if her watcher hadn't called in a Scooby-Emergency- Meeting for Members Only the minute I stepped out of that dusty library of his."
By Angel's look, I can tell that I'm right. I slowly stand up, pick up the small back containing all my personal stuff and sling it over my shoulder. I continue, while trying stubbornly to ignore how sexy and downright edible he looks with his hair wet from the rain and the glistening black coat, "And, as I already told the Watch-Man, I work for nobody but for myself. If I decide to skip town for a few days, he's the last person who'd get a 'See you soon' card."
He looks at his feet and his voice sounds very soft as he asks, "And what about me?"
"You!" I put all my anger in that one word; anger which is not all even directed at Angel. No, a good part of that is dedicated solely to Giles, that damn Council of Watchers and the world in general.
"You!" I repeat again and resist the urge to stomp my feet like a five year old.
"To be perfectly honest with you, I didn't think you'd give a flying fuck about where I was, not more that the Dream Team itself. I mean, if you're not sure that I'm your girlfriend, then what am I to you after all, Angel? A casual acquaintance? A fellow soldier in the everlasting, epic war against Evil? Or just someone to have fun with during otherwise boring patrols?"
Angel looks at me like I've sprouted a second, extra-slimy pink head and I cross my arms and glare back defiantly.
"What," he eventually says softly, "makes you think that you're not my," he hesitates shortly, "my girlfriend?"
He says that one word as if it's something delicate that could break at the slightest motion; and I can't help it- my anger's suddenly gone and so is any desire to fight with Angel. I just want to turn back time a little, before Giles's phone call, before Faith's visit and kiss him.
"I-" I begin. Then, deciding that me being able to turn back time isn't going to happen anytime soon and that I'd really like to kiss Angel right now, I skip the explanations and excuses, launch myself at him and start kissing him like there's no tomorrow.
Angel wraps his arms automatically around me and leans down to meet my lips. In between nipping his bottom lip and tracing it with my tongue- oh, it's been far too long since I've been able to do that- I mutter a soft "I'm sorry" and although it must have been almost impossible to hear it, he seems to understand me 'cause he tightens his arms around me and smiles a little.
~~~
Coming out of the bathroom, I throw a towel at Angel and plop down on the bed.
"Sorry, it's the last one."
"It's okay," he mutters and takes off his coat which is soaking wet. I imagine that we both look more like drowned rats than anything else right now.
I pat on the spot on the bed next to me, "C'mere."
Angel obediently sits down and I tug at his shirt. He gives me and almost panicked look and I have to suppress a grin, "I'm not going to jump you or anything, I just want to gawk at your perfect body while pretending to dry you off."
"Well, in that case." he smiles and starts unbuttoning his shirt, "Buffy, can we- can we resume where you kind of interrupted? Not that I minded that very much," he adds hastily.
I sigh; should have known that this kind of diversion tactic would be only a temporary success.
"I. when Faith was at your apartment warning you about the dangers of dating SunnyD's second slayer, I was-"
"Eavesdropping?" he finishes for me and I shake my head in indignation, "No! Well- not really, I just happened to stand in front of your door. I can't be blamed for having super-hearing, can I? It was all the fault of your walls, I mean, if they'd been thicker." I trail off, fully aware of the fact that I'm babbling.
"I- when Faith said all those, those things about me and you didn't say anything and- and I know that she's probably right, but," I swallow to make the lump in my throat disappear, "I was just mad at you in that moment, you know? Blame it on screwed up slayer hormones or something."
"Hey," Angel embraces me so that my head's buried against his shoulder and starts stroking my back, "It's alright that you were mad, it's my fault. I acted like an idiot with Faith. But here she was, standing on my doorstep in the middle of the day and with this speech probably mapped out in her head. I'm sorry I hurt you, Buffy."
He slowly kisses my forehead, gently, then my nose and mouth. I cuddle up against him, not caring very much about Faith anymore.
"It's 'k," I mumble, "if I can make a sign saying "Buffy's my girlfriend!" in neon printing that you have to wear around your neck day and night."
Angels smiles, "If you wear a similar sign around your neck."
Then he's serious again, "Was that why you ran away?"
"I didn't run away;" I protest half-heartedly, beginning to feel very warm and cozy and just plain perfect, "I took a vacation! And no, that's not why," I sigh and look out of the window; it's pitch black outside.
"Have you heard of a thing called the 'Cruciamentum'?" I ask Angel.
He shrugs, "Yes. Rumor has it that it's an ancient test for slayers. Most of them die in the process, but that's all I know."
"It's not so ancient. Giles wanted to put me through it."
"What?"
"Yeah," I say, trying to sound indifferent, "Imagine my surprise when the Watch-Man called me, sounding twice as stuffy as usual. He blabbed something about a new phase of my training- training, my ass!- and then tried to hypnotize me."
At Angel's questioning look, I explain, "He would've injected me with some drug- it would've taken all my shiny super-powers away. The actual test is the big birthday surprise from the Council with love. You get locked in a house with a vampire and have to kill him. Somehow. If you do, goody for you, if not." I raise my eyebrows and smile bitterly, "then on with the show and a new slayer. So you understand now why I blew up at the Watch-Man and my need for some time off, don't you?"
Angel doesn't say anything for a while, just sort of clutches me in his arms like I could evaporate if he doesn't pay attention. His voice sounds choked, "Giles- *Giles* tried to do this?"
"Yeah," I say, "he was fulfilling his duty as a watcher. He'd be fired if he didn't do it."
"But- how did you know?"
"My watcher told me," I say, not wanting to tell the whole drama again, "He- well, he didn't really play by the rules, you know? But hey, something good comes out of this- you can tell Faith, 'cause she'll want to survive her 18th birthday, too."
"Yes," he sighs, "Buffy, I'm so glad that you're alright."
I'm flattered, I gotta admit that. Up to this point, I've had exactly one person who really cared about me- I like that feeling. I like Angel's voice when he says that; that voice has the ability to turn my knees into goo and to throw Be-Careful!Buffy right out of the window.
I sit up slowly and let my fingers trail across his chest. He sucks in an unnecessary breath when I start kissing my way up to his mouth and thankfully doesn't resist when I push him back so that we both lie on the bed now. He's still got his arms wrapped around me and they slowly start exploring the skin underneath my tank top.
Smiling against Angel's mouth, I begin fumbling with the zipper of his pants, when he suddenly grabs my wrists.
"Buffy." he swallows and I can look into his dark brown eyes and see myself reflected in them, "Are you- sure? I mean-"
I interrupt him gently by batting his hands away and kissing him again. This is not sudden; it's not rushed. Ever since I first kissed Angel, I wanted him- I wanted and want him to be mine and I want to be as close to him as I can possibly get and now, though not planned at all, is the perfect time for it.
"I've never been so sure of anything in my life."