'Sir, may I enquire what the chocolates are for?" asked the Harrod's delicatessen as he filled the order.
Severus Snape surveyed the elderly gentlemen carefully and replied smoothly, "Oh, I'm going home to seduce my wife".
"How lovely," replied the cashier in a genteel tone. "Can I ask how long you've been married?" he finished.
"Almost three weeks now," Snape contributed, much to the surprise of the other man. "My Hermione is but seventeen. She's barely legal," he said with a wicked and conceited smirk. Paying for his purchases to the silenced delicatessen, Snape added the chocolates to the collection of lingerie bags and set off home to do just as he had intended.