Author's Note: Sorry it's been a while. Life has been upside down and a lot of this chapter is new or completely rewritten!
Saiyo kissed me. The words played on repeat in Tenzo's mind as he walked home. Saiyo kissed me, and she wanted to do more than that, maybe a lot more. The realization startled Tenzo, though he supposed that it shouldn't have after his conversation with Sakura about the woman. Suspecting that Saiyo had feelings for him was a world away from having them confirmed. Embarrassment warmed Tenzo's cheeks, so he pushed the thoughts away.
The scent of the whiskey hung in the air, wafting up from Tenzo's shirt. A small part of him wanted to remove the garment and wring out any droplets trapped in the fabric. He didn't, of course, because he didn't want to look insane. Besides, the flavor from Saiyo's lips lingered on his, even this much later. Two weeks felt like an eternity, and he'd been so close to tasting alcohol again.
After blowing out a breath, Tenzo pulled in a lungful of crisp night air. He hoped that it would help clear his mind, but it didn't. If anything, Tenzo felt more lightheaded than before. A small part of him wanted to go back to Saiyo's apartment and throw caution to the wind. He knew that it was wrong; he knew that it would be a temporary fix at best, but the idea refused to leave.
The thought of Sakura finding out that he'd slept with Saiyo was one of the only things that kept Tenzo from turning back to the woman's apartment. The pinkette would be furious if she found out that he'd spent the night with Saiyo, especially if she knew the real reason behind it. They'd already discussed that he didn't have romantic feelings toward the woman, so there would be no respectable explanation for sleeping with her. And, after everything that he'd put Sakura through, Tenzo didn't want her upset with him again.
"That doesn't mean I'm whipped," Tenzo grumbled under his breath, replaying Saiyo's words from earlier in the evening. Sakura wanted what was best for him, so it was only natural that their decisions would line up. Besides, Saiyo would calm down in a few days, and they would work everything out. At least, Tenzo hoped that they would; they always had in the past.
Determined to put the disastrous evening behind him, Tenzo increased his pace to just short of a jog. He needed to get back to the apartment and wash the smell of alcohol off of his body before it made him do something that he'd regret. Hopefully, a shower would clear his judgment and make him stop regretting not not staying with Saiyo.
Tenzo took the steps to the second story of his building two at a time. He'd grab a quick shower and—his thoughts ground to a halt when he noticed a woman outside of his apartment. Sakura sat with her back against the wall, one leg bent at the knee while the other stretched in front of her. The woman's green eyes snapped to Tenzo's face, so there was no opportunity to back up and go through a window.
"Hey," Sakura pushed to her feet and dusted the seat of her pants with one hand. Her nose scrunched in confusion, then she frowned and took a step forward. "What happened to you?"
Digging his keys from a pocket, Tenzo shrugged. "What makes you think something happened?"
"You're bleeding." Sakura reached for Tenzo's chin, undoubtedly to turn his cheek toward the light, then stopped and pulled her hand back. Her lips pinched into a thin line like Tsunade's used to do whenever the woman was struggling to control her rage. Sakura looked identical to her mentor as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you drunk?"
Rolling his eyes, Tenzo pushed past Sakura to unlock the door. "No, I'm not."
"But, you've been drinking," Sakura countered, following Tenzo into the apartment. Anger sharpened her words, but he ignored it. Tenzo couldn't seem to do anything right, so why should this conversation be any different? Sakura caught his hand and tried to bring him around to face her. "Haven't you?"
Tenzo retreated deeper into the apartment without answering. Guilt nagged at him, a constant reminder of how much he'd wanted to drink and how much he'd enjoyed tasting it, even second hand. Sakura closed the door behind them. "You reek of it. Did you think I wouldn't notice? How much have you had?"
"I didn't have any." Tenzo jerked his sandals off and tossed them beside the door. His temper climbed, but he held his tongue. One angry female was enough for the night.
Sakura's shoes dropped to the floor beside Tenzo's as she followed him through the living room. "You smell like you've been on a week long bender. How am I supposed to believe you?"
"I hoped you'd know me better than that by now." Tenzo flipped on the bedroom light, then continued to the bathroom. The bulbs above the mirror drove back the darkness that poured through the window. "Or at least give me the benefit of the doubt."
Pausing, Sakura leaned against the door frame and raised one eyebrow. "Fine. Explain it, then."
Tenzo huffed out a breath as he reached for the hem of his shirt. The sticky fabric clung to his skin when he pulled it over his head. Despite knowing better, Tenzo raised the shirt and inhaled. The complex scent of whiskey filled his nostrils as he tossed the garment into the hamper. It wasn't quite as good as tasting it, but it left him somewhat more focused, less on edge
Conscious of Sakura's gaze, Tenzo turned on the water and pulled a washcloth from the cabinet. She moved closer and took the rag from his hand. "What happened?"
Despite the gentleness in Sakura's tone, Tenzo bit off a waspish reply. "Do you actually want to know, or would you rather keep making assumptions?"
Rolling her eyes, Sakura held the cloth under the water. She frowned and adjusted the temperature, adding more warmth, then nodded to herself. After a few seconds, Sakura turned off the faucet and wrung out the excess before folding the rag in half. Moving closer to Tenzo, she dabbed at the blood on his cheek. "I'm sorry that I jumped to conclusions. I should have trusted you."
Tenzo froze, surprised that Sakura's anger had melted so easily. He'd expected more bickering about how he'd spent the evening before they reached this point. As his silence dragged on, Sakura cleared her throat. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"
Sighing, Tenzo pulled out of Sakura's reach and ran a hand through his hair. "I went to check on Saiyo, and I brought up the fact that she needed to finish her evaluation at T&I."
"I'm assuming it didn't go over well," Sakura surmised, shifting the cloth to her free hand. The corners of her lips tugged toward a smile as she glanced up at Tenzo through her lashes.
Tenzo winced when Sakura swiped at the cut on his cheek, igniting a flash of pain. "What gave it away? Was it the blood?"
"Definitely the blood." Sakura laughed, smoothing the damp cloth across Tenzo's cheek a second time. The air had cooled it somewhat, but the heat of her fingertips followed in its wake. "What caused this?"
Blowing out a soft exhale, Tenzo shrugged. "A kunai."
Sakura snorted as she tossed the cloth into the sink. "I thought you were this amazing Anbu captain with exceptional reflexes. Why didn't you dodge it?"
"Have I failed to mention that Saiyo is also Anbu?" Tenzo rolled his eyes at the playful teasing, but something inside of his chest loosened to know that Sakura wasn't angry with him any longer. He shrugged with the other shoulder. "And, to be honest, I didn't think she was that angry."
Sakura arched one eyebrow as if to underscore her incredulity. "Hurling deadly weapons at one's commander isn't standard Anbu practice?"
Tenzo chuckled despite himself and dipped his chin. "You've met Saiyo, right? She doesn't exactly have the best anger management skills."
"Fair enough." Sakura sobered. "Her responses do seem a bit excessive." She flashed a grin at Tenzo. "What if you'd been even slower about getting out of the way?"
"Then we wouldn't be having this conversation," Tenzo answered, playfulness sliding into his tone easier than he'd expected.
Sakura nudged Tenzo's stomach. "Hey, none of—" the woman's face morphed into a confused frown, then shifted into horror as she jerked her hand back. "Why are you sticky?"
Keeping his thoughts away from the warmth of Saiyo's body sprawled across his, Tenzo sighed. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. I smell like alcohol because Saiyo spilled nearly an entire bottle on me."
"She must have been pretty unsteady to do that," Sakura observed, swiping the cloth across Tenzo's stomach. His muscles contracted away from the cooling contact drew a soft exhale from him.
Sakura studied Tenzo, then trailed her fingers along the same path. He shifted to the side to escape the questing digits. When Tenzo frowned, she grinned and swiped at the sticky skin. "You're still ticklish, I see."
"Did you expect it to change," Tenzo huffed and wrapped his arms around his exposed middle.
Sakura shook her head, failing to hide the smile threatening to give her away. "Nah, I just enjoy watching the big, scary Anbu captain fall apart because of a little tickling."
"I'm hardly falling apart," Tenzo pointed out, grabbing for Sakura's wrist. The woman wiggled out of his grasp, so he returned to his protective stance while trying to look menacing. "But, I am a big, scary Anbu captain. You should keep that in mind."
"I'm not afraid of you, Tenzo." Sakura curled her voice around his name, undoubtedly to remind him of how close they'd become. Her fingers reached for his side, leaving imagined tingles in their wake. "What are you going to do? Give me a stern talking to?"
Tenzo grabbed Sakura's wrist in one hand and held it away. "Would that work?"
"Probably not," Sakura admitted, pulling away to turn on the sink again. She ran the cloth under the water, wrung out the excess, then moved closer. Tenzo tensed for the caressing of fingers, but she reached for his face instead. She prodded gently beneath the thin cut that Saiyo's kunai had left. "May I heal you?"
Glancing at the mirror, Tenzo studied the thin line of red that followed his cheekbone. It was an inconsequential wound that would heal on its own in a few days, but arguing with Sakura was pointless when it came to any aspect of his health. Tenzo dipped his head, and heat spread away from Sakura's hand in a wave. The healing centered on Tenzo's cheek, but the insistent warmth of Sakura's chakra suffused his body, checking for injuries that he hadn't disclosed.
Tenzo closed his eyes at the onslaught, letting Sakura's healing work through him without resistance. The comfort that followed in its wake surprised Tenzo. The wound hadn't bothered him, but Sakura's presence worked like a balm on the anxiety coursing through his veins. Tenzo's muscles relaxed, and his worries and fears melted away with the pain.
When Sakura spoke, her voice seemed to come from far away. "How's that?"
It was fine, Tenzo thought, but his voice answered with a soft hum instead. He opened his eyes, half disoriented from the healing, and found Sakura staring up at him with her head tipped to the side. Her brilliant green gaze studied him, one hand resting on his chest as the fingers of the other curled against his cheek. Tenzo found it difficult to force words past the lump in his throat. A second wave of heat covered his cheeks when he noticed the proximity of Sakura's body.
The woman's lips pulled into a frown. "Why is your face so flushed? Are you feeling—"
"Saiyo kissed me." The confession tumbled out of Tenzo's mouth without any context. He wasn't sure why he said it, or why his cheeks felt hot enough to rival the sun, but it halted the flow of whatever Sakura had been planning to say.
For a minute, Sakura stared at Tenzo without speaking. Then, she pulled back and dropped her hands to her sides. He half expected the woman to gloat about being right, but her expression was impossible to read. "How do you feel about that?"
Tenzo blew out a breath and considered the turn his night had taken. He'd wanted to stay with Saiyo, yes, but it had been the selfish desire for alcohol and oblivion. It had nothing to do with the woman herself. The harsh bathroom light and Sakura's expectant face made things clearer. "It confirmed what I already knew: I don't have romantic feelings for her."
"Are you sure?" Sakura's voice dropped almost to a whisper as she stared up at Tenzo with a curious expression. "You seem pretty tense for someone who doesn't care."
Tenzo scrubbed through his hair, frustration leaking into his movements. Why couldn't the woman understand that he knew how he felt? At least, he knew how he didn't feel. "I came home, didn't I? I could have stayed and, and . . ."
When the explanation trailed off, Sakura arched one eyebrow. "You could have stayed and done what? Are you going to finish that thought?"
Huffing under his breath, Tenzo refused to rise to the woman's bait. His face burned hot enough that he felt the heat radiating from the tops of his ears. "You're old enough to know what I mean without making me say it," he growled.
"You mean what happens when a mommy and daddy love each other very much?" Sakura's voice took on a sticky sweet tone made worse by her grin.
"You're making fun of me." Tenzo crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. "But, she was serious. I could have stayed and taken advantage of the situation, if I'd wanted to."
To Tenzo's shock, Sakura stepped close enough that their feet were almost touching. She slid a hand behind his neck and rose on her tiptoes before he could process the movement. Then, the world shuddered to a halt whenSakura pressed her lips to Tenzo's cheek. "No, you couldn't," she murmured against his burning skin. "You're too kind for that."
"Am I?" Tenzo lowered his hands to rest on Sakura's sides, intending to push her back. They found her hips instead, curling into the soft fabric of her shirt and the warm muscle beneath.
Sakura hummed near Tenzo's neck before returning to her normal height. The noise seemed to reverberate through his body. "Yes, you are," she continued. "You're too honest to lead someone on."
The stifling air in the small room grew warmer, drawing out sweat on Tenzo's forehead. His hands fell away from Sakura, and he took a step back to put some space between them. "Thanks," he murmured, unsure what else to say to the compliment. He rubbed the back of his neck, then reached for the rag that Sakura held. "I think I'm going to need a shower to get the smell off of me."
Nodding, Sakura relinquished her hold on the cloth and gave herself a shake. The woman turned toward the bedroom, then paused and looked over her shoulder. "I'm proud of you for turning her down, and for not drinking with her. I'm sure it wasn't easy."
Tenzo nodded, not trusting himself to answer. He wondered how disappointed Sakura would have been if he'd stayed with Saiyo or surrendered to the drinks she pressed on him. Did Sakura have any idea of how close he'd come to throwing it all away? Probably not. She thought Tenzo was better than he was, and he didn't want to disabuse her of that notion, so he kept his mouth shut.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Tenzo closed the door behind Sakura and walked toward the shower. He paused at the mirror to study his reflection. The thin, bloody cut that Saiyo had left on his cheek was completely gone; not even a scar remained. He traced the path, recalling the warmth of Sakura's fingers on his skin. His mind refused to consider the softness of her lips brushing the same area.
Tenzo shook his head to clear the forming thoughts before they could coalesce into something that he didn't want to deal with. He couldn't focus on Saiyo's kiss, or Sakura's gentle compliments; life had enough complications already. Throwing his towel over the rack, Tenzo turned the shower on cold. He glanced at the bedroom door, then stepped under the spray without warming it.
"So, tell me about your weekend." Ino's calm, friendly tone did little to ease the tension squeezing Tenzo's shoulders. The question seemed innocuous enough, but the past three days left him in something of a tailspin. First, the disagreement and kiss from Saiyo, then the awkwardness that followed once Sakura found out about it.
After taking a shower, Tenzo had returned to the bedroom and found Sakura reading. She hadn't asked what happened at Saiyo's apartment, and he hadn't volunteered the information. It wasn't that Tenzo was embarrassed about it, but he didn't want to relive the moment with Sakura. He'd slid into bed beside her without speaking, and they'd gone to sleep soon after.
"It was just another weekend without missions to keep me busy," Tenzo offered with a shrug. He had no intention of telling Ino that one of his colleagues had offered to sleep with him after trying to get him drunk. That seemed the territory of at least the tenth or eleventh session. "I bought some groceries, worked out, and laid around the apartment."
Tenzo decided that half truths were better than full lies when it came to therapy. First, there was less for him to remember, and second, the majority of his life wasn't interesting enough that it needed to be hidden. While he had spent time resting in the apartment, he'd also watched television and played card games with Sakura. The tension that had flared up after the revelation about Saiyo kissing him had been doused by the domesticality of living together. Tenzo's life with Sakura was another aspect that he never planned to bring up with Ino unless he had to.
"Well, that's good." Ino made a notation on the file in front of her, then glanced up. "Did those activities decrease your anxiety response? Did you experience any panic attacks?"
Tipping his head to the side, Tenzo considered how the weekend had gone, chaos notwithstanding. He'd done well when it came to drinking with Saiyo, and Sakura's presence had its usual calming effect over the rest of the weekend. It wasn't a lie to tell Ino what she wanted to hear. "No problems except boredom."
"Well, boredom beats sleeplessness and fear, right?" Ino's tone reached toward playfulness without quite hitting the mark.
No matter how much they talked, Tenzo couldn't bring himself to think of the blond as anything more than a barrier to getting back to work. He wasn't ready to let her inside his walls. Tenzo refused to think of the woman as a friend. He felt guilty for not giving his all to therapy, but he wasn't ready to let another person into the hellish existence that had been his life. "Yeah, I guess so."
Unsure what else to add, Tenzo studied the flowers on the table between him and Ino. They were white and pink this time; he couldn't help but wonder where she'd found them with autumn rapidly closing in on the village. As the silence dragged on, Tenzo saw Ino move in his peripheral vision and glanced up. The woman stared at him with the same intensity that he'd examined the flowers, tapping the pen against her lips.
"Let me level with you," Ino began, leaning forward with a serious expression on her face. "I know you think this is a waste of your time, and maybe it is. But, if you put some effort into these sessions instead of trying to give me the answers you think will get you back on active duty the soonest, you might start to see some real changes."
Tenzo schooled his expression to the impassivity that he wore beneath his Anbu mask. "What makes you think I'm not putting effort into it?"
"We're on what, our fourth or fifth session now? I have no idea what you're dealing with beyond panic attacks." Ino leaned back and continued to study Tenzo's face like she might find some answers there. "You give me the right answers, you always have, but that doesn't make them true."
Resisting the urge to bounce his legs with nervous energy, Tenzo met the woman's gaze. "If you think I'm faking it, why keep doing this?"
"Mostly because of Sakura." Ino raised her hand in a helpless gesture. "She wouldn't be so adamant about getting help for you unless she saw a reason."
Tenzo ignored the twist of regret and shame at the mention of Sakura. The pinkette had always believed that he could turn things around. "She's using me as a guinea pig to create the changes she wants to see, you mean."
"There is probably some of that to it," Ino conceded, tipping her head in acknowledgment. "But, she thinks you deserve more than you're getting. Why?"
Ino crossed her legs at the knee, watching Tenzo for something that he was determined not to surrender. He wondered if she knew about his relationship with Sakura. It seemed unlikely considering Tenzo didn't know what to call it, either. He divorced himself from the quiet nights that they spent alone together in his bed and looked at the situation objectively. "Sakura likes to fix people; I'm just her latest project."
Realization nauseated Tenzo, but he forced his breath to remain calm and consistent. At least some part of him believed that Sakura only cared about him for her own ends. He'd watched her prattle on about rescuing Sasuke from himself during his brief time with Team Seven, and he'd seen the heartache her stubborn insistence had caused. But, Tenzo had never thought that he'd be just another broken person for Sakura to check off of her list.
"Does that bother you?" Ino's voice pulled Tenzo back from the dangerous spiral that he'd been preparing to launch himself into. "Do you resent that she wants to help you?"
Tenzo blew out a long, exhausted breath. "I don't want to need it."
Though Ino didn't reach for the file in her lap, Tenzo could sense that she wanted to. "Why not?"
While the conversation was moving away from Sakura like Tenzo wanted, he wasn't sure about this new path. He couldn't believe that Sakura saw him as a means to an end, nor did he want to examine why that bothered him so much. Dealing with Ino's question was easier. "I should be strong enough to do it alone." The admission stung, leaving a vile taste on Tenzo's tongue.
"There's no shame in getting help when you need it." Ino leaned back in the chair, losing the predatory focus that she'd had a few moments earlier. She lifted one slim shoulder in a shrug. "Everyone needs support from time to time."
Tenzo scoffed and shook his head. "I'm being forced into this, whether I want it or not. I can't do my job because someone else thinks they know my mental limits better than I do."
"You think we're wrong?" Ino arched one eyebrow in the same infuriating way that Sakura did whenever she got tired of Tenzo's excuses. Then, the woman smiled. "You're angry because you can't fake your way through it this time."
"Of course I'm angry," Tenzo growled, surprised to feel the rumble of annoyance in his chest. The weight lodged in stomach, struggling against the calm that he fought to cultivate. "There are people out there dying while we sit here pretending that this is going to fix anything." He gestured at the room with a huff.
Ino's amused expression softened when she spoke. "You know we aren't at war any longer, right?"
"You don't have to be at war for people to die, especially in my line of work." Tenzo pushed to his feet and paced a couple of strides away from the couch. "If you put every shinobi on leave when you think they can't handle the mental load, how long will it be until there are none left? Konoha functions by sacrificing our lives for the greater good."
"The greater good," Ino mused, following Tenzo's progress from one side of the room to the other with her eyes. "Dying for Konoha is a noble cause, I suppose."
Tenzo paused and turned to face the woman, crossing his arms over his chest. "Isn't that the Will of Fire?"
Rather than answering, Ino stood and walked past Tenzo to pause beside a framed picture of herself and Inoichi. The pair were laughing about something invisible to the camera, eyes sparkling. She almost raised one hand toward the image, then shook her head. "Dying for the village is one thing, but getting yourself killed for it is something else entirely."
Dumbfounded, Tenzo stared at the younger woman who had the gall to lecture him. Ino had no idea about the sacrifices that he'd made through the years; she didn't know the losses that he'd suffered. Tenzo glanced at the picture a second time wondering if Ino might understand him better than he thought, but she didn't give him a chance to answer. "Not even Anbu can stand up to the darkness alone."
"Why are you so willing to lay your life down for the village?" Ino continued without looking at Tenzo. "Did someone tell you it was the right thing to do? Did you decide for yourself? Are you trying to protect something bigger than you?" Ino delivered the questions with clinical precision, each one chipping away at the defenses that Tenzo had thrown around himself.
When Tenzo didn't answer, Ino returned to her seat and reached for his file. The pen scratched across the paper for several seconds before he came back to the couch. He wanted to defend his willingness to die for the village, but he couldn't organize his thoughts in a manner that made sense. "I don't know," he mumbled, staring down at the woman.
"Well, I suggest you think about that before we meet again." Ino glanced at the watch on her wrist as she closed the folder. "It might give you some insight into why you behave the way you do."
Snorting in frustration at the useless suggestion, Tenzo inclined his head. "Yeah, thanks."
"Maybe instead of dying for Konoha, you should try to find something worth living for," Ino suggested as she stood up. She carried the file back to her desk with a nod. "That's our time for today. I'll see you on Wednesday."
"I can't wait," Tenzo grumbled, running a hand through his hair in annoyance at the way the conversation had gone.
Ino chuckled as she put her notes away in one of the cabinets behind her desk. Tenzo almost made it to the office door before the woman's voice stopped him. "Yamato?"
Turning back, Tenzo made a questioning sound. Ino studied him for a second, then sighed. "Sakura wouldn't put all of this effort into someone who wasn't worth saving."
"It's not like she has a great track record of fixing broken men." Tenzo couldn't contain the bitterness that gnawed at him after Ino's veiled accusation. "Sasuke was a resounding success, after all."
Ino's lips pulled into a tight frown. "There's a difference between medical science and love. Besides, the person has to want to change."
"That's what everyone keeps telling me." Tenzo barked out a sarcastic laugh before bowing at the waist. "See you Wednesday."
Huffing out a breath, Sakura picked up her pace as she walked through the streets of Konoha. After catching up on her paperwork, she'd started seeing patients again. It left her physically and mentally exhausted at the end of the week. Sakura was already waking up earlier so that she could get to her apartment in time to prepare for the day. Then, every evening without fail, she spent at least an hour training with Tenzo. Each moment of her schedule was spoken for except the weekends, and Sakura wanted to use those to recuperate.
At least, that had been Sakura's plan until Ino stopped by her office. Her morning coffee had still been singing in her veins when the woman asked her to go drinking after work. They hadn't been out in over a month, not since Sakura started spending so much time with Tenzo, so she'd agreed. Now that the caffeine high had worn off, home and bed sounded better than alcohol ever could. Though, she supposed that an evening out without the responsibility of someone else's well being had its own appeals.
The previous weekend had been a whirlwind of chaos that left Sakura glad for work's distraction. After finding out that Saiyo had kissed Tenzo, she hadn't known what to think. She was proud of the man for turning down Saiyo's advances, but she felt an unexpected jolt of jealousy when she learned about it. Sakura put it out of her mind by reading a novel until Tenzo came to bed. When he'd slipped into the sheets without speaking, she'd followed his lead and gone to sleep.
By the following morning, the awkwardness had started to pass. Sakura and Tenzo watched television, played games, and spent far too long sparring in the evenings. Then, the weekend was over, and it was back to work for Sakura, and back to therapy for Tenzo. The man had completed two sessions earlier during the week, but he wouldn't talk about them. Sakura imagined that today's meeting would yield similar results. She'd decided to let Tenzo keep his secrets unless it caused problems.
Sakura pushed the thought away as she mounted the steps to Tenzo's building. She'd spent more time here than at her own apartment, but that realization no longer bothered her. For the most part, Sakura enjoyed the time that she and Tenzo shared. Having someone to talk to after a long day was nice, even if he continued to kick her butt during their sparring sessions. In fact, one of the perks of spending this evening with Ino was that Sakura could skip tonight's workout.
With that thought pulling at her lips, Sakura knocked on Tenzo's door the way that she'd done dozens of times over the past month. He pushed the panel open a few moments later, fingers splayed against the wood like he'd been expecting her. "Hey," he greeted, holding the door back with his shoulder. When Sakura didn't enter right away, Tenzo's brow creased in confusion. "What's up?"
"So," Sakura began, drawing out the word as she moved past Tenzo. "Ino wants me to go out with her tonight."
Tenzo's expression remained neutral as he turned with Sakura, letting the door close behind them. She bit her lip and tried to suppress the guilt that settled into her stomach. The man worked through the statement, then flashed a soft smile. "You're just trying to get out of our run tonight."
Sakura swatted at Tenzo's shoulder. Though she knew that he could take it, she didn't put much force behind the blow. "Can you blame me, taskmaster," she asked, arching one eyebrow at his teasing.
"You don't answer to me," Tenzo pointed out, letting the recoil from her strike bring him back to bump their shoulders together. "Go, have fun with your friend. You've wasted more time looking after me than you should have"
"It hasn't been a waste; I like being here." Sakura shrugged, feeling like she was standing the man up for a date that she'd never agreed to. "It's just that I don't know what time I might get back, and . . ."
Sakura trailed off, not sure what she was trying to say. Tenzo's smile pulled into a frown, then his eyes widened. "And, you don't know if you'll be home," he supplied in a questioning tone.
Despite Sakura's best efforts, crimson suffused her cheeks. "I didn't mean that, only that it might be late, and I don't want to wake you."
"You don't have a curfew here, and I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't do." Tenzo chuckled, but Sakura thought it sounded frayed at the edges. "That said, if you want to come back, you are always welcome, no matter what time it is." He paused, lips twitching in and out of a smile. "I'll leave the window open."
Sakura rolled her eyes, then tipped her head to the side to study the man's features. "Are you sure? I can tell Ino tonight isn't good for me. We could try next—"
"Sakura," Tenzo interrupted, his voice amused but firm at the same time. Heavy hands rested on her shoulders "I'll be fine. You should go; enjoy your night."
Despite Tenzo's assurances, guilt nagged at Sakura to change her plans. Going to a bar was the opposite of what she should do to help Tenzo with his sobriety, but it had been so long since she'd done anything except work and train. A break sounded like exactly what she needed. Besides, she didn't have to stay out all evening. She could have a few drinks, then leave. She had no intention of going home with anyone, though Ino probably had other ideas.
Chewing her lower lip, Sakura debated with herself. "Are you sure? I don't want you to think that I'm abandoning you."
"I'm sure." Tenzo's easy smile sprang into place too quickly to be authentic, but Sakura didn't argue. He didn't appear upset by the idea that she was leaving which was progress, but the apparent indifference left her frustrated.
Sakura forced the thought away and stepped forward to catch Tenzo in a hug. He tensed for a moment, then folded his arms around her. "Thank you," she murmured, giving him a quick squeeze. "I'll see you soon, promise."
"Don't worry about me." Tenzo pulled back and smiled. "Enjoy your night."
Shadows crept through the forest, dark fingers that grabbed for Tenzo's running legs. As the ground disappeared beneath his feet, he focused on the hitch in his breath and the sweat trickling between his shoulder blades. He wasn't sure how many miles he'd run, but it was far enough for the burn in his muscles to fade to a background annoyance.
Normally, a streak of pink would be nipping at Tenzo's heels, fighting to press through the opening on his left. Even though his stride outpaced hers, Sakura kept the gap between them to a minimum when they ran. The woman was nothing if not persistent. She hadn't managed to overtake him yet, but she might if she kept training for much longer. Tenzo hadn't realized how comfortable he'd gotten with the woman's presence until it wasn't there any longer.
"I'm not as young as I used to be," Tenzo grumbled, slowing to a more reasonable pace. He'd pushed himself too far again, too close to the edge. But, if he couldn't take soldier pills, training harder was the only way to strengthen his body. Over the past couple of years, Tenzo had teased Kakashi for complaining about his age. Now, after each training session, he felt it in every joint and muscle. His physical prowess from Anbu had started to rust away during the enforced break. Training could only compensate for so much.
For a week and a half, Tenzo had done everything that Sakura and Ino asked. He'd gone to counseling sessions, he'd given the right answers when he could and talked when he couldn't fake it any longer. Not to mention, he'd avoided alcohol and stimulants for weeks. The only addiction that Tenzo had nurtured was Sakura's presence in the long, dark, panic-filled nights. It scared him how easily they'd fallen into the pattern of spending time together, pushing the boundaries a little more each day.
Sakura had turned a lot of things in Tenzo's life upside down. Once she'd realized that he enjoyed tea, she'd introduced him to several calming blends. The pair worked out every night: running, sparring, or stretching. She encouraged him to practice meditation, deep breathing, and focusing on the calm inside, whatever that was supposed to mean. Tenzo hadn't felt calm in years; his entire life revolved around battle and death. Even so, he felt something like peace when he listened to the steady cadence of Sakura falling asleep each night.
Even Tenzo's run felt emptier for the lack of Sakura breathing down his neck. Despite feeling like he'd pushed himself, he wasn't sure that the pace had been as grueling as it would have been with her closing in on him. Tenzo slowed his stride further, reverting to more of a jog than a run, and considered the woman's absence. It felt a dull ache under his sternum, like he'd lost something that he hadn't expected to miss.
Over the past few weeks, Tenzo hadn't given much thought to the social life that Sakura had put on hold for his sake. He didn't think that she was in a relationship with anyone given their conversation about soulmates, but things might have changed. She'd mooned after Sasuke, sure, but then she left the village for almost two years. He doubted that she'd maintained a long distance relationship for that long, but there could be someone new.
Tenzo slowed to a jog, letting his heart rate return to a more natural rate. He'd run longer than he would have with Sakura, trying to push his body as close to exhaustion as possible. He wasn't sure how well he would be able to sleep without her calming presence, but the more physically tired he was, the better it would go. The moon and stars were bright overhead, providing a modicum of light through the forest canopy. Not that Tenzo needed it, he knew this part of Konoha by heart.
Soon enough, the lights of the village peeked through the trees, growing stronger with every step. As he reached the more populated areas, Tenzo slowed to a walk. He wondered what Sakura and Ino were doing, and the thought left him lonelier than expected. He recalled the smell of alcohol on Saiyo nearly a week earlier. Would Sakura return to his apartment with the same scent clinging to her? Would she return at all? He told himself that the idea of the woman spending the night somewhere else didn't bother him.
A chilly wind whipped through the village, drying the sweat on Tenzo's skin. The streets were more crowded at the end of the week as people moved between restaurants and bars or stopped to visit with friends. While he walked, Tenzo kept an ear open for gossip. He'd picked up the habit during undercover missions where gathering reconnaissance could be the difference between life and death.
Most of the tidbits that Tenzo picked up were innocuous. There was a new baker near the Hokage's complex who made the best bread in town. Someone named Yumi had been sleeping with her best friend's husband for a couple of weeks. There was a falling out between newlyweds when clan loyalties came into play. Then, Tenzo heard something that stopped him in the middle of the street.
"Why is he allowed to walk around Konoha without any consequences," whispered a woman who looked to be around Tenzo's age. "He's a war criminal; he should be detained."
The woman's companion shrugged and continued sweeping the front step of her store. "He only gets by with it because he used to be on Hokage-sama's genin team."
"That doesn't give him the right," the stranger's words ground to a halt as she noticed Tenzo's attention. "What are you looking at?"
"Sorry, excuse me." Tenzo dropped into a bow, wishing that he was wearing one of the uniforms that marked him as an elite shinobi guard. But, of course, he was still on suspension.
Cutting away from the pair of women, Tenzo continued on his way. His mind spun with the new information. Could Sakura still bear a flame for the boy who had hurt her and treated her with disdain for so many years? Was she still holding on to the idea that Sasuke might be her soulmate? Tenzo wondered if the nervousness in Sakura's demeanor came from the possibility of seeing him while out. Was Ino a part of the evening, or was that just an excuse to—
No, Sakura has no reason to lie to me, Tenzo thought, pushing the question to the back of his mind. He didn't want to examine the idea that she planned to spend the evening with Sasuke. Besides, what Sakura did in her free time didn't concern him, at least not beyond the fact that Sasuke was a terribly unhealthy choice for her to make. The boy had treated her with nothing but contempt, and he'd only break her heart again if she let him.
Tenzo shoved the door of his apartment open and tossed his keys onto the table. The adrenaline from his run left him satiated, but he forced himself to warm leftovers for dinner. He picked at the food, then decided that he didn't have much of an appetite after all. Cleaning the dishes took only a few minutes, as did stripping out of his sweaty clothes in the bathroom. Tenzo winced at an unexpected pain in his right knee and turned the shower warm enough to erase it. Between the exhaustion and heat, sleep should be easy to find.
Changing into pajamas, Tenzo mused at the silence in his bedroom. By this time of night, Sakura would normally be brushing her hair as she prattled about her day. The woman either complained about her co-administrator for challenging her, or was thankful for his invaluable help. Tenzo would have been less surprised to find that Sakura was sleeping with Kazuko than Sasuke. At least the former seemed like the type of man who might be able to appreciate her.
Tenzo reined his thoughts away from Sakura. He had his own problems to worry about. In the silent darkness, he listened to the clock tick forward, then counted the seconds in a vain attempt to find rest. Next, Tenzo numbered his breath like Sakura had taught him: one on each inhale, and two for every exhale. Sleep remained elusive. Tossing onto his other side, Tenzo stretched one hand through the empty space beside him and sighed.
Near midnight, Tenzo thought he heard someone enter the apartment. He jerked upright in bed, heart pounding. It took him several dizzying seconds to recognize the wind rattling the shutter outside. Heaving out a breath Tenzo curled beneath the blanket; only seven more hours until sunrise.
"You look ravishing," Ino gushed, studying Sakura with a critical eye. The blond had spent over an hour tweaking Sakura's hair, make up, and clothing to get it exactly the way that she wanted it.
Blushing, Sakura studied her reflection in the mirror. She barely recognized the woman with the bright pink lips and kohl-rimmed eyes. Ino had added loose curls to her hair so that it bounced and swayed with every step. A borrowed black dress hugged Sakura's body like a glove, suggesting that she had a better figure than she did. Long boots completed the look, stretching up her legs as protection from the autumn air and leaving a tantalizing gap of pale skin between them and the hem of the dress.
Sakura toyed with a dangling, silver earring, then picked up the drink that Ino had made earlier in the night. "Thank you, but this was a lot of work for nothing. I told you I'm not staying out late."
"You always say that," Ino complained, adding a flourish of highlighter to one cheekbone. She nodded at her reflection, then flipping off the light. "But, it's time for you to get out and have some fun. Take a boy home, hell, take two or three; it'll be good for you. You've been lacking vitamin D lately."
"Oh my god," Sakura groaned, choking on her drink. "You're such a dork. Besides, how do you know I've been lacking? Maybe I'm taking a break from my secret sexy times so you don't get suspicious."
Ino chuckled as she pulled on a jacket. "Because I know everything that happens in Konoha. If you were getting some, I'd hear about it."
"Sure you would," Sakura drolled, rolling her eyes. Once Ino's mind was made up, there was no point arguing. Of course, the fact that the woman was right didn't help matters. Sakura changed the subject rather than admitting defeat. "Aren't you ready to go?"
"You don't want to get there too early," Ino pointed out, finishing her cocktail then carrying the glass toward the kitchen. "It makes you look desperate."
Blowing out a breath, Sakura shook her head. She'd go out for an hour or two to appease Ino, then she'd get the sleep that she so desperately needed. Besides, it would be nice to see more of her friends; it had been too long. Ino had chosen a bar frequented by shinobi, so there were bound to be familiar faces.
While they walked to the bar, Sakura found herself wondering how Tenzo was coping with his evening alone. On any other night, they would have been working out right now. Had he gone without her, or taken the night off? Probably the former. Tenzo took his position as leader of Anbu seriously, even while on leave. The man had voiced his concern about losing crucial stamina and skill during his recovery period , but Sakura didn't think it likely. Until they started training regularly, Sakura had never realized what a different league Anbu were in compared to normal shinobi.
"Stop," Ino growled, voice sharp with reprimand. She caught Sakura's arm and pulled her around so that they were facing each other. "I don't know what you're thinking about, but stop. Tonight is about alcohol and boys. No work, worries, or drama. Do I make myself clear?"
Sakura laughed at the serious expression on Ino's face and offered a quick, mock salute. "Yes ma'am. But, I meant what I said; I'll give you an hour or two, then I'm going home."
"Well then, we better stop wasting time." Before Sakura could argue that Ino was the one who insisted on being late, the blond pushed the door open. A wave of warm, alcohol scented air wrapped around Sakura as the raucous noise of laughter and music filled her ears. Bright lights competed with pockets of darkened privacy along the edges of the room, assaulting every sense at once.
For a heartbeat, Sakura thought about turning away from the chaos and fleeing into the night. Then, Ino dragged her forward, moving through the crowd with a comfortable confidence that Sakura would never manage. She made a beeline for the bar, bobbing and nodding to several people along the way. As Ino ordered the drinks, something electric pink and fruity no doubt, Sakura took in the scene around her.
Dozens of men and women dotted the room in small groups, chatting, dancing, and drinking. A few of the faces were familiar, but Sakura didn't see anyone that she wanted to talk to right away. There were a couple of people—Sakura's head snapped up at the sound of a familiar voice, and warmth rushed through her body. Heat settled in her cheeks and the tips of her ears while her heart did an uncomfortable fluttery squeeze that she'd come to associate with only one person, no matter how much she hated it. Dark eyes locked with Sakura's from the end of the bar, widening with surprise.
"It wasn't what? Aren't you going to finish that thought?" A second, equally familiar voice prompted when Sasuke's words trailed off mid sentence. It was only then that Sakura realized that the man had been talking to Naruto when he'd lost his train of thought. The blond turned, following Sasuke's gaze, then his face split into a wide smile. "Sakura!"
Before Sakura could form a thought beyond shock at finding Sasuke at the bar, Naruto was dragging him toward her. He threw one arm around Sasuke, then the other around Sakura, and pulled them together in a familiar hug. As Sasuke fought free of the embrace, his fingers brushed Sakura's. She jerked back like she'd been burnt.
"I can't believe you're here," Naruto shouted above the noise of the crowded bar as he slid onto a seat beside Sakura. Sasuke took a stool on Naruto's other side. "The whole team is together again; it's been too long."
"It has," Sasuke agreed. The single dark eye visible through his hair focused on Sakura. "Much too long."
Warm weight settled on Sakura's shoulder at the same time as a dark purple drink appeared in front of her. Ino smiled, but it turned cold when her gaze landed on Sasuke. Sakura ignored her friend; she knew what Ino was doing. Naruto lifted his beer in blissful ignorance to the tension surrounding everyone else. "Talk about a crazy coincidence."
"Yeah," Sakura agreed, glancing over to see if Ino had known that Sasuke would be here. She took the woman's withering look to mean that there wasn't a chance in hell that Ino would have brought them to this particular bar if she had.
Unsure what to add to the conversation, Sakura tried her drink. She couldn't taste the alcohol, which probably meant that it was more potent than it seemed. Ino nestled against her side, looping their free arms together as she smiled toward Sasuke. "I didn't know you were back in the village."
"I got back earlier this afternoon," Sasuke answered, gaze sliding away from Sakura to settle on Ino. "Naruto insisted we celebrate."
A stab of hurt slid through Sakura's chest when she realized that Naruto hadn't invited her to go out with him and Sasuke. She shouldn't care, but it felt strange to be on the outside of their friendship. Maybe it was spontaneous, she comforted herself, taking another drink. Sasuke tipped his head toward Sakura as if he could read her thoughts. "I thought you were still on your medical tour?"
"I came back a couple months ago." Sakura set her glass on the bar, noting the ring of pink lipstick around the rim as she shrugged. "Tsunade-sama asked me to take over the hospital."
A single eyebrow arched in surprise. "That's a big responsibility," Sasuke observed.
"Sakura can handle it," Ino interjected with a toothy smile. "She's good at handling big things. That's probably why you two couldn't—ouch!"
Ino rubbed the back of her arm where Sakura had pinched her. "I guess I trained a little too hard yesterday," the blonde lied. She sipped her red cocktail, then tipped her head as the music changed. Placing her drink beside Sakura's, Ino let out a happy squeal. "Ah, I love this song. Come dance with me Sakura! You'll watch our drinks, right boys?"
Calling the question over her shoulder, Ino dragged Sakura toward the crowded dance floor. Sakura glanced back at the bar, noting the confused expression on Naruto's face coupled with the amusement on Sasuke's. Then, the crowd hid the men from her field of vision, and Ino leaned close to hiss. "You can not be serious right now."
Allowing her body to sway with the music, some upbeat song that she'd never heard, Sakura shrugged. "What are you talking about?"
"You know damn well what I mean," Ino growled. Her lips compressed into a tight line that drained the color from them. "You're playing with fire."
"Was that a pun?" Sakura grinned and glanced at the bar through the crowd. Sasuke watched them, nodding along to something that Naruto was saying. The man's lip curved toward a smile when their eyes met, and Sakura laughed, turning back toward Ino. "Besides, you're the one always telling me to live a little."
The music slowed as the song changed, and Ino pulled Sakura close. "That doesn't mean screwing around with someone who will break your heart."
Sakura jerked her arm free. "It isn't like that, I'm over—"
"Hello, beautiful," called a voice from Sakura's left. She spun to tell Sai that he could shove his backhanded compliment where the sun didn't shine when two shocking things happened. First, she realized that Sai's dark gaze was focused on Ino, and second, the blonde's face had turned crimson from her chin to her forehead.
Ino swatted at Sai's chest, fingers brushing the front of his shirt. "When did you get back," she asked, tone turning petulant as she brushed a wayward strand of hair behind one ear.
"Earlier this afternoon, but I wanted to surprise you." Sai smiled and leaned in to brush his lips against Ino's cheek. Then, he dipped his head toward Sakura. "Hello, Sakura."
A response probably came out of Sakura's mouth, but she wasn't sure what it was. Ino batted her eyes at Sai, standing close enough for her arm to rest against his chest and stomach. Sakura's brain struggled to reconcile the image. Ino and Sai? Sai and Ino? She couldn't imagine two people less compatible than the ones in front of her. Ino kept an exhaustive social calendar, and Sai desired quiet and reflection. How could they make it work when they were so different?
Shaking her head, Sakura moved away to give the pair some space. She would grill Ino about it later, and she wasn't going to let the woman avoid those questions. Deciding that she needed alcohol to handle this revelation, Sakura moved back to the bar. She snatched her drink and moved next to Sasuke. He sat with his back against the edge of the bar, staring over the dance floor. Sakura told herself that her selection meant nothing as she settled on the stool.
Sakura downed her drink in one long pull and set the glass back on the bar. Sasuke watched the movement, then smirked. "Can I get you another one?"
"Are you trying to get me drunk," Sakura teased, running her fingers through the curls that framed her face. Naruto grinned into his fist from Sauke's other side and looked away.
Pleasure pulsed in Sakura's chest when Sasuke chuckled. She hated the way that her stomach ached in response to his voice, and how her heart fluttered when he leaned closer. "Do I need to?"
Tipping her head to study Sasuke through her lashes, Sakura raised a hand to catch the barkeeper's attention. Then, she smiled. "I guess that depends on how you want the rest of the night to go."
Naruto choked, spluttering beer across his arm as the implication hit home. Sakura glanced at the man from the corner of her eye. Did he know that she and Sasuke had already slept together? Did they talk about things like that? Sakura decided that she didn't want to know. The blond had always hoped that she and Sasuke would make a relationship work, so he shouldn't be surprised by some innocent flirting.
The arrival of Sakura's new drink kept her from overanalyzing. She sampled the flavor through the tiny straw and tilted her head against the burn in her throat. This one had more kick than the first. Sasuke watched her, nursing a glass of pale, honey colored liquor. After a moment, he leaned closer to be heard over the music. "So, running the hospital?"
Nodding, Sakura cut her eyes to the dance floor. Ino and Sai were close together, his hands on her hips as they moved to the music. She shook her head, struggling to understand the sight, and took another drink before returning her attention to Sasuke. "Someone had to do it. Tsunade didn't want to stay in the village."
"A sentiment we share." Sasuke offered with a self-deprecating laugh. The sound had a bitter edge to it. "Do you enjoy it?"
"It has its challenges." Sakura's mind went back to her struggles with Kazuko in the early days, and the current situation with Tenzo. She didn't want to dwell on her relationship with the latter after the ups and downs of the past week. Ino was right, she needed to focus on something self-indulgent for the moment.
Determined to live in the moment, Sakura nodded. "Yeah, I enjoy it for the most part. Do you still enjoy being out of the village all the time?"
"You say that like I have a choice." Sasuke snorted with more than a hint of annoyance in his tone.
Sakura refused to buy into the man's pity party. After the war, a lot of people had viewed Sasuke as a war criminal. But, Naruto, Kakashi, and Sakura had spoken up and quelled most of the anger at the Uchiha. Even so, Sasuke refused to put the past behind him. Stirring the straw through her drink, Sakura shrugged. "There's always an option if you want something badly enough."
The corner of Sasuke's lips curved into a smirk, but before he could respond, Ino and Sai reappeared from the dance floor. A sheen of sweat stood out on the woman's forehead, and her face was flushed. Sakura wondered if Ino was embarrassed that her relationship with Sai had been uncovered, or if she was overheated from dancing. Sakura didn't ask; there would be time for answers later.
Sai, Naruto, and Sasuke shook hands like old friends, settling into the usual small talk of missions and weather. While the men were preoccupied, Sakura caught Ino's gaze and nodded toward Sai with a quirked eyebrow. The woman's face grew several shades darker as she shrugged. Sakura offered a devious grin that Ino pretended to ignore.
As if sensing Sakura's intent, Ino called out. "Why don't we find a table where we can hear each other a bit easier?"
Though the bar was crowded, Ino secured a booth in the corner of the room, probably through threats or flirty suggestions. Sakura didn't ask which as she slid in beside her best friend. Sai took the space on Ino's other side, while Sasuke joined Sakura. Chuckling, Nartuo slipped in at the end, forcing Saskue nearer. Sakura slid closer to Ino, ignoring the woman's pointed glance. The places where everyone had chosen to sit meant nothing beyond convenience.
Sakura had been afraid that the conversation would be stunted or awkward given the time that everyone had spent apart, but alcohol and laughter eased the distance. Within a few minutes, drinks and banter were flowing. Sai remained aloof, but Sakura noticed the way that the man's eyes lingered on Ino's face whenever she spoke. Naruto carried the majority of the conversation, regaling the group with tales of his latest missions and his work toward becoming hokage.
For her part, Sakura added a few stories from the hospital, but she stayed away from her relationship with Tenzo and her almost indiscretion with Kazuko. Thankfully, Ino was too preoccupied with Sai to revisit her obsession with the "hot doctor". Sasuke added a few anecdotes as the evening progressed, but he remained quiet more often than not. Even so, Sakura felt his eyes roving over her from time to time. As the night wore on, heated glazes turned into searing touches, "accidental" at first, then full of intent.
Sakura's knee bumped against Sasuke's when she stretched past Naruto to order another drink. Later, as Sasuke leaned close to repeat something that the music made hard to hear, his fingers grazed her thigh. Ino caught a couple of the touches and gave Sakura a disapproving look, but the woman hardly had room to talk. Her fingers rested on Sai's leg beneath the table, and Sakura caught the woman's lips brushing his cheek and lips as they danced.
After an hour or two, Naruto finished off the last of his beer and pushed the bottle away. "Okay, it's time for me to turn in for the night. I've got a mission debriefing first thing tomorrow morning."
"Aw, come on," Sakura laughed, reaching past Sasuke to catch the other boy's hand. "You can stay a little bit longer. How often do we all get to hang out together?"
Naruto flashed a smile that even exhaustion couldn't dim as he pulled free. "I wish I could, but I'm spent. Maybe we can get together later this weekend?" He turned to Sasuke. "Are you coming, or are you going to stay a little longer?"
The Uchiha glanced at Naruto through a fall of black hair, then his gaze turned back to Sakura. He chuckled, low and warm. "I'll catch up with you tomorrow."
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Naruto teased, rubbing a hand over his face to stifle a yawn. "I'll catch you guys later."
Sakura watched Naruto turn away and walk from the room with a nervous flutter in the pit of her stomach. Ino and Sai were back on the dance floor with barely a breath of space between them. The pair was well matched physically, Sai's darkness tempered Ino's brightness to perfection. As they danced, their bodies moved in sync, suggesting intimate knowledge. Sakura wondered if she was the only one who'd been oblivious.
"How long has that been a thing," Sasuke asked, draining his glass as he followed Sakura's gaze.
Sakura knocked back the rest of her drink. How many was that, three or four? "Your guess is as good as mine," she shrugged. "I just found out about it."
As Ino laid her head on Sai's shoulder, hips undulating with the music, an uncomfortable sensation of jealousy niggled at Sakura. It had been months since she'd been that intimate with anyone; the last had been Sasuke if she didn't count the brief encounter with Kazuko that left them both frustrated. Now, Ino had Sai to turn to, and Tenzo had whatever he had with Saiyo. That left Sakura alone in a sea of couples.
Sasuke brushed a curl away from Sakura's neck as he leaned in to whisper. "You look absolutely stunning tonight."
An old, familiar ache flared to life in Sakura's chest at the proximity of Sasuke's mouth. It would be easy to turn and capture his lips in a logic altering kiss; she'd done it before. It wasn't love, Sakura knew that now. But, recognizing it as lust didn't make it easier to fight. Laughing, Sakura glanced up at the man through her lashes. "You probably say that to all the girls."
"Only you." Sasuke huffed out a laugh that tickled Sakura's ear. His voice deepened an octave when he moved close enough for the warmth of his words to send a shiver down her spine. "And, only when you look like that."
Heat crawled up Sakura's neck and settled in her cheekbones as she laughed. "Am I supposed to take that as a compliment?"
"I meant it as one, yes." Sasuke smiled, an expression that Sakura had seen rare enough to make her heart turn somersaults. "You're the most beautiful woman in the room."
"While you," Sakura paused and tipped her head to the side, studying Sasuke's features for an exaggerated moment. She raised one hand to push the fringe of black away from his equally dark eyes, then nodded. "You look exactly like you always did."
Chuckling, Sasuke offered another secretive smile. "That used to work for you, if I remember correctly."
A wave of heat rushed through Sakura's body, and she prayed that Ino's makeup hid her blush. She raised one shoulder in a shrug and forced her voice to sound aloof. "Maybe my tastes have improved with time."
If the statement gave Sasuke pause, the smile on his lips never faltered. Sakura wondered what it was like to possess that level of confidence. "Is there someone else," he asked, though he clearly expected the answer already.
For a heartbeat, visions of gentle brown eyes and the sound of quiet laughter rose from the depths of Sakura's thoughts. Pushing them back down, she shook her head. "No, there isn't."
Unbidden, Sakura's gaze returned to Ino and Sai. The pair pressed against each other on the dance floor, completely oblivious to the world around them. Jealousy and loneliness twisted through her stomach, mixing with the warmth of alcohol. Following her gaze, Sasuke made a humorless sound in the back of his throat. "Can I get you another drink," he suggested, then paused and blew out a quiet breath. "Or, would you rather get out of here?"
Before Sakura's mind had a chance to enter into the equation, she nodded. Reading the intent, Sasuke rested a hand above her knee and squeezed. "I'll settle up at the bar."
As the man walked away, Sakura told herself that there was nothing to feel guilty about. It had been a long time since someone looked at her with desire, the disappointing night with Kazuko notwithstanding. And, while Ino had gotten a lot of things wrong, she was right about one: Sakura needed to get laid. Sleeping with Sasuke didn't mean that she wanted a relationship. Sex could be enough; Sasuke was better than her hand.
Pushing the thoughts away, Sakura watched Sasuke lay money on the bar. She wasn't sure whether to be flattered or frustrated that he'd paid for both of their drinks without asking. Sakura supposed it didn't matter. Standing, she tugged her dress into place and cut across the room. Sasuke smiled when Sakura appeared at his side, and the warmth lacing his gaze was enough to bring a blush to her cheeks. His hand came to rest on Sakura's lower back, ostensibly guiding her through the crowd. The touch burned like a brand.
Sakura and Sasuke were halfway to the door when Ino shouted her name. She considered ignoring the sound, but she was afraid that the woman would make more of a scene. After resting a hand on Sasuke's arm to ask him to wait, Sakura pulled away and met Ino halfway. A pout formed on the blond's ruby lips. "You're not leaving, are you?"
"It's late," Sakura reasoned, appreciating the way that Sasuke moved a few steps away to give the women some semblance of privacy. "I told you I wasn't going to be out all night."
The smile on Ino's lips didn't alter, but her eyes hardened to ice chips as she leaned closer. "You also told me you were going to do anything stupid."
Sakura laughed, eyes sliding over Ino's flushed face and smudged makeup from her time on the dance floor. "You should go; enjoy your evening with Sai."
Arguments formed in Ino's eyes, then were discarded with sigh. "Will you at least call me in the morning and let me know you're okay?"
Flashing a tight smile, Sakura nodded. "I will, but you don't need to worry about me. I know what I'm doing."
Ino's gaze slid to where Sasuke waited a few feet away as she shook her head. "That's what I'm afraid of."
Sasuke cursed under his breath as his body shuddered against Sakura's. Hot breath washed over her cheek, then his lips brushed along the shell of her ear. Sasuke chuckled. "That was better than I remember."
Sakura managed a weak laugh despite the unspent tension coiled low in her belly. "Thanks, I think?"
Humming, Sasuke broke the contact between their bodies and lowered Sakura to the ground. Her back clung to the sticky wall that it had been pressed against, forcing her dress to ride up even more. Sasuke tossed the hair from his eyes with a grin. "That was definitely a compliment."
The euphoria that Sakura should have felt faded into shame as she tugged at the dress bunched around her hips. Sasuke fumbled with his pants as she smoothed the fabric of her skirt down her trembling thighs. She glanced around the darkened street, shivering in the wind that whipped between the buildings. Stopping in an alley near the bar had been the height of stupid, even though she or Sasuke probably would have sensed anyone getting too near.
Too much alcohol and months of abstinence fueled the touches that led Sasuke and Sakura to the alcove, more or less protected from prying eyes. Their tryst lasted less than five minutes from first kiss to final gasp. Sakura berated herself for expecting more; she'd sworn that she wouldn't be here again, not after what happened last time. There was no future for her and Sasuke; it was nothing but two minutes of almost pleasure that left her lonelier than before.
Sakura squeezed her legs together, uncomfortably aware of the sticky dampness on her thighs. She glanced toward the mouth of the alley and brushed the hair out of her face. "So, do you want to come over to my place?"
"Tonight was fun." Sasuke raised a hand to brush Sakura's cheek. When his thumb dragged over her lips, he leaned in to take a leisurely kiss. "Don't ruin it by trying to make it into something it wasn't."
Indignation stole the retort from Sakura's lips as she shook with the effort of not slapping Sasuke. She hadn't invited him to her apartment because she wanted to turn the fling into a relationship, but because she wanted to have someone, just for the night. Not that Sakura would refuse a second time; especially after the first left her wanting. "I mean, I'd like something that lasts more than five seconds," she grumbled, pulling away.
"It was at least three minutes," the man returned, the corner of his lip curving into a grin.
Sakura scoffed under her breath, battling with the sick feeling that twisted through her stomach as reality set in. "You say that like it's impressive."
"If it wasn't, why do you want a second round?" Sasuke's expression shifted toward a teasing smile as he tugged his shirt back into place.
Shame washed through Sakura as more of the high faded away. Sleeping with Sasuke isn't something to be ashamed of, she rationalized. The man was good looking enough to be desirable, his past notwithstanding. Sakura had seen the way that a few women gazed at him with calculating stares over the course of the night. She wondered if they'd known who he was, or if it would have changed anything.
Probably not, Sakura decided. She wasn't sure if Sasuke would let anyone else get close besides her. And, even if he did, sex was only the physical connection. It didn't mean that there was a future for them. At best, Sakura had been a one night stand to Sasuke; at worst, a convenient screw when he couldn't get anyone else. Tonight meant nothing; she meant nothing to him.
Even though Sakura had known there was nothing between her and Sasuke, bile mixed with the alcohol in her stomach. It rose hot and acidic in her throat. Stumbling away, Sakura grasped the edges of a nearby trash can and tried to convince herself that she wouldn't be sick. Angry tears burned her eyes when she lost the battle. After a few moments, Sakura's body spent itself in dry heaves that left her gagging.
Warmth pressed through the thin fabric of Sakura's dress as Sasuke rested a hand on her lower back. "Are you okay?"
Cringing away from the kindness, Sakura nodded. "I'm fine. I just had too much to drink."
Sasuke nodded and moved back a couple of steps to offer Sakura some space. "Do you want me to get Ino?"
"No," Sakura growled before the man could finish, shaking her head to clear it somewhat. She scrubbed a hand over her mouth, leaving a brilliant pink stain of lipstick across her skin. "I just want to go home. This whole night was a mistake."
Moving half a step closer, Sasuke ran a hand through his hair. Had it been anyone else, Sakura might have thought he looked sheepish. "Let me walk you back, at least? I want to make sure you're alright."
"Because you care so much about me," Sakura spat, her embarrassment shifting to anger in a heartbeat.
The words brought Sasuke up short, and he reached out like he might catch Sakura's hand. "You know I do, just because it isn't the way you—"
"Stop," Sakura pleaded, afraid of what the next statement might be. "It's fine; it's just been a bad night. Let's catch up another time, okay?"
Sakura didn't wait for an answer to the statements tumbling from her mouth. She turned and fled toward the mouth of the alley. Sasuke called Sakura's name, but she waved over her shoulder to indicate that she didn't want to talk about it. She couldn't have spoken if she wanted to. Sakura's throat closed up with the effort of stopping the tears that squeezed through her eyelids. Their refusal to stop falling only made her angrier.
If Sasuke cared about Sakura the way that he suggested, he would have followed. But, he let her go. Sakura didn't want him to chase her, not really, but the effort would have been nice. She understood the implication: she was an easy lay, nothing more. Gulping in a lungful of night air, Sakura jogged back toward her apartment as quickly as her heels would allow.
Once she arrived, Sakura kicked off her shoes and made a beeline for the bathroom. She glanced at herself in the mirror, noting the dark streaks that mascara left down her cheeks. Her eyes were puffy and swollen from crying, and her skin was pale beneath the makeup. Huffing, Sakura struggled out of her dress. Discarding the garment on the floor, she turned on the water.
A sharp pain stabbed through Sakura's chest as she replayed the night in her mind. If she hadn't known better, she might have thought it was a heart attack. But, it wasn't a physical sensation; it was a longing that she couldn't put her finger on. Forcing the thought away, Sakura raised the temperature as high as she could stand it and stepped into the shower. Tingles spread across her arms as she reached for the body wash to scrub her skin as if it could erase the reminder of Sasuke's touch.
Even now, Sakura couldn't say for sure why she'd done it. Sasuke had always been a natural attraction for her, true, but she felt like there had to be more to it than that. Under the unforgiving spray, Sakura rested her forehead against the blessedly cold tiles. Nausea roiled through her stomach as she relived the feeling of Sasuke's hands on her body. She'd let him use her and gotten nothing in return.
Sakura slid a hand across her damp skin, trying to capture the blissful euphoria that she'd almost reached with Sasuke. Her fingers wandered lower as she let her mind drift back to the feel of teeth on skin and the warmth of a body pressed into hers. Despite the combination of memory and imagination, Sakura couldn't find release. Tension coiled tight in her stomach, then dissipated in a wave of emotion too interconnected to untwine.
Blowing out a breath, Sakura stepped from the shower and shivered in the draft from the bathroom door that she'd forgotten to close. She wrapped a towel around herself and wondered if Sasuke understood her frustration with the way that the evening had gone, or if he cared. Sakura would have to find a way to explain the evening to Ino as well. There was no way the blonde would let it go; maybe Sakura could lie about sleeping with Sasuke.
The thought of Ino brought up a sense of loneliness and jealousy that Sakura had been trying to ignore. Sai and Ino looked happy together, like they were made for each other. While Sakura was glad that her friend had found someone, it only highlighted the difference between their relationship and whatever Sakura had with Sasuke. She knew it wasn't the same, but she wished she had something to compare it to.
Steam on the mirror made it impossible for Sakura to see if she'd removed the last traces of makeup from her skin, but she didn't care. Drying off, she tossed the towel into the hamper, stepped over her dress, and walked into the bedroom. Cool moonlight poured through the high window, highlighting the empty bed that Sakura hadn't slept in for weeks.
Sakura pulled on a sports bra, black leggings, and a clean t-shirt before sitting down on the edge of her bed to comb through her hair. Despite the exhaustion that she'd felt earlier in the day, she didn't think that she'd be able to sleep. Dull frustration coursed through her veins as she lay back on the pillows, watching the pattern of light overhead when clouds moved across the moon.
After twenty minutes, Sakura gave up on the idea of sleep. Rising from the bed, she pulled a sweatshirt from her closet. As much as Sakura had worried that Tenzo would struggle without her, she'd never considered the possibility that she would need him just as much. She hoped that he meant what he'd said about her coming over no matter how late it was. Ignoring the worry that she'd be turned away, Sakura opened the door and stepped into the deepest hours of the night.
Tenzo opened his eyes to complete darkness, chest tight and heart pounding. He'd been lost in the half sleep that he used for missions when the quiet creak of a door opening startled him to full awareness. His gaze slid over to check the clock; it read almost two a.m. Training forced Tenzo's muscles to stillness as he evaluated the sound of footsteps for a threat.
The bedroom door clicked open, then something heavy thumped onto the floor near Tenzo's dresser. A quiet curse followed the sound, and Tenzo's body relaxed as he recognized the voice that he'd come to know impossibly well. He steadied his breathing to the cadence of sleep, a trick that he'd picked up in Anbu, and remained motionless as Sakura walked toward the bed.
The woman chuckled under her breath. "See? You didn't need me. You did fine on your own."
The words were too faint to wake Tenzo if he'd truly been asleep, so he continued to pretend. Sakura moved around in almost complete silence except for the rustle of clothing as she removed what must have been a jacket. Normally, she would retire to the bathroom to change into pajamas and wash her face before coming to bed. Tonight, she moved closer without bothering.
"I hope you meant what you said," Sakura whispered so softly that Tenzo almost leaned closer to catch them. "I didn't want to be alone tonight."
Tenzo almost broke his silence to ask why, then decided against it as Sakura slid into bed next to him. He'd fallen asleep on his left hip and shoulder, facing the side of the bed where she normally slept. Sakura shifted positions a couple of times before falling still as if waiting to see if the movement had woken him. Tenzo continued regulating his breathing as he cracked one eye open wide enough to make out the woman's silhouette. Her back was to him, completely unaware of his partial scrutiny.
Seconds dragged into minutes, and Tenzo felt himself drifting back to sleep when a new sound startled him. Sakura's quiet sniffle could have been allergies or the start of a cold, but Tenzo knew her better than that. It was the sound that preceded tears. Sakura turned her head into the pillow to stifle the sound that rose in her throat, but it only partially covered the sob. Tenzo forgot to maintain his ruse, but the woman didn't notice as she curled in on herself.
Unsure of what to do, Tenzo remained immobile as Sakura's body spent itself. After a few minutes, she drew a deeper breath and fell silent. Even so, her body shuddered through a second bout of silent tears. A stab of pain echoed in Tenzo's chest for the hurt Sakura felt. Faking a yawn, he shifted his body closer and rested one hand on the woman's side.
Sakura tensed, but she didn't pull away. She breathed Tenzo's name as a question, voice laced with emotion. He feared that speaking would break the tentative spell between them, so he hummed a sleepy nonresponse and slid his hand down to Sakura's stomach. She let out a quiet gasp that might have been surprise, then nestled backward against his chest with the gentle pressure of his touch.
The floral scent of Sakura's shampoo filled Tenzo's nose along with something softer that might have belonged to body wash or lotion. Underneath both, the harsh tang of alcohol clung to her in a way that soap and water couldn't erase. Tenzo wrinkled his nose at the familiar assault, then forced himself to ignore it as Sakura swiped at her cheeks. "I'm glad you're here," she murmured.
Me too, Tenzo thought, exhaling as Sakura melted against his chest with every breath that she took. He splayed his fingers across her stomach, using just enough pressure that she knew he was there, but not enough to make it obvious that he was awake. After a few minutes, the tears grew silent, then stopped as the ragged, sore sound in Sakura's throat faded to the regular rhythm of sleep.
Once Tenzo was sure that Sakura had fallen asleep, he relaxed his grip. She made a sound of protest, curling her fingers against his forearm to hold it in place. Smiling to himself, Tenzo relaxed into the warmth of Sakura's body against his. He tucked his free arm under his head as a pillow and glanced at the clock; there were less than four hours until sunrise. Tenzo found it difficult to fall back to sleep, opting instead to watch the darkness fade to grey on his bedroom wall.