TITLE: One heart beat for every lost day.
AUTHOR: faith_in_Faith
E-MAIL: faith_in_Faith@hotmail.come
DISCLAIMER: Don't owe a thing., just borrow and play..
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: We have reach "sex, lies and videotapes."
AUTHORS NOTE: BIG THANKS to Jenny and Carina, for correcting this for me and to Wine -into- Water for correcting it and encouraging me all the time. Thanks everybody who does reviews! You make this so much fun!
CHAPTER TEN
Bosco felt someone kick his leg and reluctantly opened his eyes to see who had the nerve to disturb his sleep. His eyes fell on a small boy curled up on his side next to him, at first he got confused, but than he remembered that he wasn't at home. He was at Anna's place and the boy in the bed was Samuel or if it was Adam, it was hard to tell, because to Bosco they looked exactly the same. He would make a bet on Samuel though, because his pajama was blue. Anna had no problem telling who was who, but she was supposed to know, she was their mother.
Poor kid, he thought, he had probably had another nightmare. Not a single night went by without one or both boys ending up in their bed after a nightmare and that was all too familiar to him. There was one big difference though; no one had been there to comfort him.
Bosco had more or less moved in with Anna after that night three weeks ago, when Faith once again saved his sorry ass, and Anna once again was there for him when he needed her the most and, most important of all, asked him to come back to her. He smiled happily when he thought about it and carefully, not wanting to wake up the boy, pushed himself off the bed and headed into the kitchen. Anna was by the stove, fixing breakfast, and Adam, at least he thought it was Adam, was already sitting at the kitchen table, and eating his porridge.
"Morning Bosco," the boy at the kitchen table said.
"Morning Adam," Bosco said hesitantly and was rewarded with a happy smile that told him he had guessed right this time.
He wrapped his arms around Anna's waist from behind and kissed her neck as he said:
"Morning." She turned around and smiled. "Morning, slept well?"
"Mm," he said and tried to kiss her.
"Stop it!" she said and smiled again. "Sit down and eat, I'm gonna get Samuel."
He sat down at the kitchen table and started to eat his breakfast, not porridge though, thank God. Anna came back with a very sleepy Samuel and sat him down at the table.
"Morning Samuel," Bosco said and got a sleepy smile in return.
"You're working today?" he asked and looked at Anna and suddenly he saw a glimpse of something in her eyes. Fear? No, it couldn't be, right? It was gone as fast as it had come as she said:
"Yeah, I work the same hours as you this week. Eve's gonna pick up the boys this afternoon."
"Do you want me to drop them of at preschool?"
She smiled gratefully. "That would be great. I need to run some errands."
He nodded and they finished their breakfast in silence. They always eat more or less in silence and that had surprised Bosco at first. By now he had gotten used to it, but he was still fascinated by the fact that two kids could be that quiet. ****
"Bye Bosco," Adam said and Samuel hugged his legs, Bosco kneeled down and embraced both of them as he said:
"Now behave and have fun, OK?"
"You're coming home to us tonight?" Samuel asked and looked at him pleadingly.
Bosco nodded.
"Promise!" Adam said.
Bosco opened his mouth to respond as he heard Anna's voice in his head: "Don't make promises you can't keep, especially not to the kids." He looked Adam in the eyes and said:
"You know I can't promise that. Things I can't control can happen at work, but I promise to be careful and do everything I can to come home, OK?"
"But Faith's looking after you, right?"
He smiled, "Yeah, she is."
"Anna, can I talk to you for a moment?" one of Anna's colleagues, named Kit said.
"I'll be there in a minute," Anna answered without looking up from the IV she was changing.
"Anna," Kit said again and something in her voice made Anna turn to look at her.
"What?" she asked with worry in her voice. Kit looked at her and pointed at the door and said:
"Let's take it outside." Anna smiled at the little boy in the bed, and said:
" I'll be right back."
"There's a cop at the nurses' desk who wants to talk to you. She says it's important," Kit said unhappily.
Anna didn't respond. She just hurried towards the desk and her heart started to race as she spotted Faith standing there, looking extremely nervous.
"Faith?"
Faith, who looked like she would start crying any minute, said in a shaky voice:
"He got shot Anna; I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry."
Anna felt her knees go weak and she reached out and grabbed the desk for support.
"How bad Faith, how bad?" she asked, and silently prayed to God for mercy.
"I don't know exactly, but the bullet hit his vest and he..e. he woke up at the scene, but I think he hit his head too and hee..e. having trouble breathing." Faith choked out.
Anna closed her eyes and thanked God for not taking him from her. She couldn't believe it. All those years she was married to Thomas she didn't have to hear things like this, not even once, but after only three weeks with Bosco, here she was, scared almost to death, looking at his partner who had guilt written all over her face.
"I'm so sorry, I should have been there, I should have backed him up, I just. I'm so sorry. I know I promised you," Faith said, anguish in her voice.
"It's OK Faith, I know him. I know how hard it is to keep him out of trouble, believe me. Don't you worry about it," she said and gave her the most reassuring smile she could manage at the time.
"Can I see him?"
Faith nodded "He's been asking for you," she whispered.
"You have a concussion and a cracked rib, you should stay here over night and rest," the doctor said.
"No way!" Bosco said and winced from the pain in his chest as he moved.
Anna, who stood in the doorway, smiled relived. If he was like this, than he was OK.
"Hi," Anna said.
"Hi," he said looking guilty.
"You really know how to scare me half to death, don't you?" She went into the room and sat down next to him at the exam table.
He smiled weakly. "What can I say? It's a gift."
Anna just sighed. "I'm glad you're OK," she said quietly. "Is Faith gonna take you home now?"
"No I want to drop by the station and get my things and change clothes."
"OK, I'll pick you up there in an hour, I'll just finish my shift first," Anna said and fought back tears of relief.
He nodded, "Sorry to scare you and drag you away from work."
"It's OK, you didn't do it on purpose, did you?"
He smiled and shook his head and grimaced when he felt the pain the movement caused him.
Anna kissed him carefully and said as she stood up: "See you in an hour then, I love you."
Bosco grinned and said: "Ditto."
Anna looked at Bosco who sat on the couch, his head resting on the cushions, his eyes closed. She was worried about him. He hadn't said a word since she'd picked him up and she was starting to wonder if she should take him back to the hospital, maybe he was worse off than they first thought. She studied him quietly, checking his breathing. It was a bit fast and shallow but nothing else was to be expected. She went and sat down next to him, caressing his hair as she said:
"How're you feeling?"
"I got shot, how do you think I'm feeling?" he asked annoyed as he opened his eyes and looked at her, a frown on his face.
OK, so that's the problem, she thought. He was mad at someone. Well it couldn't be at her, because she hadn't said any of all the things she wanted to say, so then it had be at Faith.
"Why are you mad at Faith?" she asked.
He looked surprised as he said: "How do you know I'm mad at Faith?"
She smiled. "Well you sure are mad at someone, and since we have barely spoken to each other today I just assumed she was the one that was in trouble."
He didn't respond.
"So you wanna tell me what she has done to piss you off?"
"You wouldn't understand, you're not a cop," he said dismissively.
"How can you be so sure, I was married to one for eight years, remember?"
"It doesn't matter."
They sat in silence for a while and Anna let the memories from earlier that day play in her head, and she remembered Faith saying "I should have backed him up I just. I'm sorry." Suddenly she understood what this was about and she looked at Bosco and said:
"So she didn't back you up?"
Once again he looked at her in surprise. "How did you know that?"
"It was something she said to me, something about how sorry she was for not doing that."
"So she feels guilty, huh? Well that suits her right!" he said, a mean smile on his face.
"Bosco!" Anna said," don't be like that! I know how hard it is to keep you in line!" I'm sure she had a good reason not to be there.
"Yes she had, and that's the worst part of it all!" he said angrily.
"Bosco, what is this all about?" Anna said, both annoyed and confused at the same time.
"She's sick! She's got cancer! And she didn't TELL ME!" he shouted the last part.
"Keep you're voice down, I don't want you to wake the boys," she said and looked at him in confusion. She didn't understand why he was so mad at poor Faith; cancer was a life threatening disease. He should be concerned or afraid, not mad.
"Why are you so mad?" she asked carefully, knowing that the question probably would make him even angrier.
"You heard me! She didn't tell me! he said, staring angrily at her.
Anna felt herself shudder, she hated when people raised their voices against her.
"Please Bosco, don't raise your voice at me," she said quietly. Bosco looked at her and saw the uncertainness in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, feeling like a jerk. He shouldn't shout at her, it was Faith he was mad at, not Anna.
"What really happened out there today Bosco?" Anna asked.
He sighed knowing she wouldn't give in until she had heard it all, but also really wanting to tell someone about it.
"We were chasing a murder suspect, but she didn't want to, because she didn't feel well. She even threw up once, but we were the nearest unit so I thought we had to. When we went into the apartment building I thought she was right behind me, but when I called her she didn't answer. Then I got caught behind a door and I called and called for her but she didn't show up, and then he took my gun and shot me! Next thing I remember is that I woke up as she tried to remove my vest." Telling her this had upset him even more and Anna saw that he had trouble catching his breath.
"Bosco calm down," she said gently, "try to take deep breaths, OK?"
Bosco concentrated at his breathing for a moment but as soon as it got better he continued:
"She has known it for months, had surgery and taking radiotherapy and stuff, and still she didn't tell me. I could have been killed today because she didn't trust me enough to tell me she was too sick to back me up!"
Anna looked him straight in the eyes and said:
"Didn't she?"
He looked at her startled, "What the hell do you mean?"
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you just tell me that she didn't want to go after the murder suspect because she didn't feel well?"
"Yeah, but she didn't protest when I ran into the building!"
"Did you give her a chance?"
He didn't answer, just glared at her. She smiled.
"I didn't think so."
"It doesn't matter, she let me down! She didn't back me up! For Heaven's sake Anna, she was too dizzy to even move, she told me so herself!"
"And you don't think you did the same?"
"WHAT?" he shouted.
"I told you to keep your voice down!" Anna said angrily. "Bosco, can't you see you let her down as well? You knew that she was sick, she had told you so. You had even seen her throwing up, but when she wasn't behind you as you thought she was, when she didn't show up when you called for her, did you go back to check on her? No! You just carried on without thinking as usual! For Heaven's sake Bosco, she could have been lying there unconscious or the murderer could have taken her already, you didn't know that, and still you just carried on!"
"I can't believe you try to make this my fault! Who's side are you on anyway?" he said and looked at her angrily.
She sighed. "Bosco I'm not on anyone's side in this, and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. I'm just trying to show you that everything isn't just black or white, there are many shades of gray too."
"She still should have told me! I thought she at least trusted me enough to tell me something as important as that. I can't understand why she stays partner with me if she thinks she can't trust me with this. She trusts me with her life for God's sake!" or maybe she doesn't, he thought darkly.
Anna took a deep breath and chose her next words carefully, noticing that the anger in his eyes had been replaced by that haunted look again.
"I don't think this is about trust Bos," she said softly "I think she was, and still is, afraid."
"Of what? ME?" he asked in disbelief.
She sighed a little about his lack of fantasy. "No Bos, she is or wasn't, afraid of you. Cancer is a life threatening disease and telling people you love and care about that you might die isn't the easiest thing to do."
"So she didn't think I could handle it, huh? It's SO like her. She always treats me like one of her kids. I hate it! She can't decide what I'm 'old enough' to handle," he said sarcastically.
"And you don't think you're giving her a reason?"
Anna's heart was bleeding for Faith, because Bosco was probably right, this was most likely the reason she hadn't told him. She wasn't stupid and she probably knew that she was pretty much the only one Bosco trusted, at least at the time she found out about the cancer. Anna knew Faith could read Bosco almost as good as she could, maybe even better, and if Anna were in Faith's shoes she would've been afraid to tell him too, actually she would've been scared to death!
Bosco looked at her angrily. "I can't believe you're asking me this shit! Of course I don't!"
"No? Well then tell me Bosco; how do you think you're acting now, huh? Your best friend and partner just told you she has cancer, that she might die, and all you can think about is that she didn't tell you right away! If this is how you always react, then I understand she was afraid to tell you. She doesn't need you sitting here, like a spoiled child, complaining about that you weren't the first to know, what she needs right now is help and support!"
"She still should have told me, " he said stubbornly, but his face had softened and his voice was low.
"Yes, she probably should, but she can't change that now, neither can you, all you two can do is to try to forgive and forget, and Bosco, please try to remember; she needs your support, now more then ever, to be able to fight this. She has cancer."
He looked at her, his eyes growing wide with fear when the severance of the situation finally hit him.
"But she said she would be alright, the doctors had told her so," he whispered, his voice filled with fear and the look of utter despair form the other day back in his eyes again.
"Bos," Anna said gently and looked him in the eyes as she touched his cheek, " things like that can never be for sure, believe me I know."
"Anna, I can't loose her, I just can't!" he said anguish in his voice, and she could tell that he was getting trouble breathing again.
"I know Bos, I know," she said softly, "just take one day at the time, OK? Talk to her tomorrow, try to sort things out, OK?"
He nodded and she said: "Come on, let's get you in bed."
Anna held him in her arms until he feel asleep, praying to God the whole time, not to take Faith away from them, knowing she needed her almost as much as Bosco, if she was going to stay sane in this relationship.
There was a knock at the door and Anna opened it, finding Faith standing outside, looking nervous and at the verge of crying.
"Hi," she said quietly.
"Hi, how are you feeling?" Anna said with concern and worry evident in her face and in her voice.
Faith felt relived. She had thought that Anna would be just as pissed as Bosco, maybe even more. Bosco could have ended up dead because of her, but all she saw in Anna's eyes was compassion.
"I'm OK. How's Bosco?" she said in a shaky voice.
"He's OK too, but he'll not be hunting down any preps for a while, that's for sure!" Anna said and smiled.
"Anna, I'm sorry, I know I promised you, I should have told him, I know he could have died because of me, I." her voice trailed off.
"Faith," Anna said gently. "It's OK, you and I are OK, don't worry about it. Save your apologies for Bosco, he's the one you have to convince. I tried to do some damage control for you, but the rest is up to you."
Faith looked at her, tears in her eyes. "Do you think he wants to talk to me?"
"No, he don't, but he promised me, so he better," Anna said and smiled again.
Faith just looked at her unhappily.
"Look, I have to go to work, but just go on in, and try not worry, I'm sure it's gonna be OK. Don't cry, though, Bosco's girls don't do that," Anna said and left, leaving a confused Faith to star after her.
AUTHOR: faith_in_Faith
E-MAIL: faith_in_Faith@hotmail.come
DISCLAIMER: Don't owe a thing., just borrow and play..
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: We have reach "sex, lies and videotapes."
AUTHORS NOTE: BIG THANKS to Jenny and Carina, for correcting this for me and to Wine -into- Water for correcting it and encouraging me all the time. Thanks everybody who does reviews! You make this so much fun!
CHAPTER TEN
Bosco felt someone kick his leg and reluctantly opened his eyes to see who had the nerve to disturb his sleep. His eyes fell on a small boy curled up on his side next to him, at first he got confused, but than he remembered that he wasn't at home. He was at Anna's place and the boy in the bed was Samuel or if it was Adam, it was hard to tell, because to Bosco they looked exactly the same. He would make a bet on Samuel though, because his pajama was blue. Anna had no problem telling who was who, but she was supposed to know, she was their mother.
Poor kid, he thought, he had probably had another nightmare. Not a single night went by without one or both boys ending up in their bed after a nightmare and that was all too familiar to him. There was one big difference though; no one had been there to comfort him.
Bosco had more or less moved in with Anna after that night three weeks ago, when Faith once again saved his sorry ass, and Anna once again was there for him when he needed her the most and, most important of all, asked him to come back to her. He smiled happily when he thought about it and carefully, not wanting to wake up the boy, pushed himself off the bed and headed into the kitchen. Anna was by the stove, fixing breakfast, and Adam, at least he thought it was Adam, was already sitting at the kitchen table, and eating his porridge.
"Morning Bosco," the boy at the kitchen table said.
"Morning Adam," Bosco said hesitantly and was rewarded with a happy smile that told him he had guessed right this time.
He wrapped his arms around Anna's waist from behind and kissed her neck as he said:
"Morning." She turned around and smiled. "Morning, slept well?"
"Mm," he said and tried to kiss her.
"Stop it!" she said and smiled again. "Sit down and eat, I'm gonna get Samuel."
He sat down at the kitchen table and started to eat his breakfast, not porridge though, thank God. Anna came back with a very sleepy Samuel and sat him down at the table.
"Morning Samuel," Bosco said and got a sleepy smile in return.
"You're working today?" he asked and looked at Anna and suddenly he saw a glimpse of something in her eyes. Fear? No, it couldn't be, right? It was gone as fast as it had come as she said:
"Yeah, I work the same hours as you this week. Eve's gonna pick up the boys this afternoon."
"Do you want me to drop them of at preschool?"
She smiled gratefully. "That would be great. I need to run some errands."
He nodded and they finished their breakfast in silence. They always eat more or less in silence and that had surprised Bosco at first. By now he had gotten used to it, but he was still fascinated by the fact that two kids could be that quiet. ****
"Bye Bosco," Adam said and Samuel hugged his legs, Bosco kneeled down and embraced both of them as he said:
"Now behave and have fun, OK?"
"You're coming home to us tonight?" Samuel asked and looked at him pleadingly.
Bosco nodded.
"Promise!" Adam said.
Bosco opened his mouth to respond as he heard Anna's voice in his head: "Don't make promises you can't keep, especially not to the kids." He looked Adam in the eyes and said:
"You know I can't promise that. Things I can't control can happen at work, but I promise to be careful and do everything I can to come home, OK?"
"But Faith's looking after you, right?"
He smiled, "Yeah, she is."
"Anna, can I talk to you for a moment?" one of Anna's colleagues, named Kit said.
"I'll be there in a minute," Anna answered without looking up from the IV she was changing.
"Anna," Kit said again and something in her voice made Anna turn to look at her.
"What?" she asked with worry in her voice. Kit looked at her and pointed at the door and said:
"Let's take it outside." Anna smiled at the little boy in the bed, and said:
" I'll be right back."
"There's a cop at the nurses' desk who wants to talk to you. She says it's important," Kit said unhappily.
Anna didn't respond. She just hurried towards the desk and her heart started to race as she spotted Faith standing there, looking extremely nervous.
"Faith?"
Faith, who looked like she would start crying any minute, said in a shaky voice:
"He got shot Anna; I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry."
Anna felt her knees go weak and she reached out and grabbed the desk for support.
"How bad Faith, how bad?" she asked, and silently prayed to God for mercy.
"I don't know exactly, but the bullet hit his vest and he..e. he woke up at the scene, but I think he hit his head too and hee..e. having trouble breathing." Faith choked out.
Anna closed her eyes and thanked God for not taking him from her. She couldn't believe it. All those years she was married to Thomas she didn't have to hear things like this, not even once, but after only three weeks with Bosco, here she was, scared almost to death, looking at his partner who had guilt written all over her face.
"I'm so sorry, I should have been there, I should have backed him up, I just. I'm so sorry. I know I promised you," Faith said, anguish in her voice.
"It's OK Faith, I know him. I know how hard it is to keep him out of trouble, believe me. Don't you worry about it," she said and gave her the most reassuring smile she could manage at the time.
"Can I see him?"
Faith nodded "He's been asking for you," she whispered.
"You have a concussion and a cracked rib, you should stay here over night and rest," the doctor said.
"No way!" Bosco said and winced from the pain in his chest as he moved.
Anna, who stood in the doorway, smiled relived. If he was like this, than he was OK.
"Hi," Anna said.
"Hi," he said looking guilty.
"You really know how to scare me half to death, don't you?" She went into the room and sat down next to him at the exam table.
He smiled weakly. "What can I say? It's a gift."
Anna just sighed. "I'm glad you're OK," she said quietly. "Is Faith gonna take you home now?"
"No I want to drop by the station and get my things and change clothes."
"OK, I'll pick you up there in an hour, I'll just finish my shift first," Anna said and fought back tears of relief.
He nodded, "Sorry to scare you and drag you away from work."
"It's OK, you didn't do it on purpose, did you?"
He smiled and shook his head and grimaced when he felt the pain the movement caused him.
Anna kissed him carefully and said as she stood up: "See you in an hour then, I love you."
Bosco grinned and said: "Ditto."
Anna looked at Bosco who sat on the couch, his head resting on the cushions, his eyes closed. She was worried about him. He hadn't said a word since she'd picked him up and she was starting to wonder if she should take him back to the hospital, maybe he was worse off than they first thought. She studied him quietly, checking his breathing. It was a bit fast and shallow but nothing else was to be expected. She went and sat down next to him, caressing his hair as she said:
"How're you feeling?"
"I got shot, how do you think I'm feeling?" he asked annoyed as he opened his eyes and looked at her, a frown on his face.
OK, so that's the problem, she thought. He was mad at someone. Well it couldn't be at her, because she hadn't said any of all the things she wanted to say, so then it had be at Faith.
"Why are you mad at Faith?" she asked.
He looked surprised as he said: "How do you know I'm mad at Faith?"
She smiled. "Well you sure are mad at someone, and since we have barely spoken to each other today I just assumed she was the one that was in trouble."
He didn't respond.
"So you wanna tell me what she has done to piss you off?"
"You wouldn't understand, you're not a cop," he said dismissively.
"How can you be so sure, I was married to one for eight years, remember?"
"It doesn't matter."
They sat in silence for a while and Anna let the memories from earlier that day play in her head, and she remembered Faith saying "I should have backed him up I just. I'm sorry." Suddenly she understood what this was about and she looked at Bosco and said:
"So she didn't back you up?"
Once again he looked at her in surprise. "How did you know that?"
"It was something she said to me, something about how sorry she was for not doing that."
"So she feels guilty, huh? Well that suits her right!" he said, a mean smile on his face.
"Bosco!" Anna said," don't be like that! I know how hard it is to keep you in line!" I'm sure she had a good reason not to be there.
"Yes she had, and that's the worst part of it all!" he said angrily.
"Bosco, what is this all about?" Anna said, both annoyed and confused at the same time.
"She's sick! She's got cancer! And she didn't TELL ME!" he shouted the last part.
"Keep you're voice down, I don't want you to wake the boys," she said and looked at him in confusion. She didn't understand why he was so mad at poor Faith; cancer was a life threatening disease. He should be concerned or afraid, not mad.
"Why are you so mad?" she asked carefully, knowing that the question probably would make him even angrier.
"You heard me! She didn't tell me! he said, staring angrily at her.
Anna felt herself shudder, she hated when people raised their voices against her.
"Please Bosco, don't raise your voice at me," she said quietly. Bosco looked at her and saw the uncertainness in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, feeling like a jerk. He shouldn't shout at her, it was Faith he was mad at, not Anna.
"What really happened out there today Bosco?" Anna asked.
He sighed knowing she wouldn't give in until she had heard it all, but also really wanting to tell someone about it.
"We were chasing a murder suspect, but she didn't want to, because she didn't feel well. She even threw up once, but we were the nearest unit so I thought we had to. When we went into the apartment building I thought she was right behind me, but when I called her she didn't answer. Then I got caught behind a door and I called and called for her but she didn't show up, and then he took my gun and shot me! Next thing I remember is that I woke up as she tried to remove my vest." Telling her this had upset him even more and Anna saw that he had trouble catching his breath.
"Bosco calm down," she said gently, "try to take deep breaths, OK?"
Bosco concentrated at his breathing for a moment but as soon as it got better he continued:
"She has known it for months, had surgery and taking radiotherapy and stuff, and still she didn't tell me. I could have been killed today because she didn't trust me enough to tell me she was too sick to back me up!"
Anna looked him straight in the eyes and said:
"Didn't she?"
He looked at her startled, "What the hell do you mean?"
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you just tell me that she didn't want to go after the murder suspect because she didn't feel well?"
"Yeah, but she didn't protest when I ran into the building!"
"Did you give her a chance?"
He didn't answer, just glared at her. She smiled.
"I didn't think so."
"It doesn't matter, she let me down! She didn't back me up! For Heaven's sake Anna, she was too dizzy to even move, she told me so herself!"
"And you don't think you did the same?"
"WHAT?" he shouted.
"I told you to keep your voice down!" Anna said angrily. "Bosco, can't you see you let her down as well? You knew that she was sick, she had told you so. You had even seen her throwing up, but when she wasn't behind you as you thought she was, when she didn't show up when you called for her, did you go back to check on her? No! You just carried on without thinking as usual! For Heaven's sake Bosco, she could have been lying there unconscious or the murderer could have taken her already, you didn't know that, and still you just carried on!"
"I can't believe you try to make this my fault! Who's side are you on anyway?" he said and looked at her angrily.
She sighed. "Bosco I'm not on anyone's side in this, and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything. I'm just trying to show you that everything isn't just black or white, there are many shades of gray too."
"She still should have told me! I thought she at least trusted me enough to tell me something as important as that. I can't understand why she stays partner with me if she thinks she can't trust me with this. She trusts me with her life for God's sake!" or maybe she doesn't, he thought darkly.
Anna took a deep breath and chose her next words carefully, noticing that the anger in his eyes had been replaced by that haunted look again.
"I don't think this is about trust Bos," she said softly "I think she was, and still is, afraid."
"Of what? ME?" he asked in disbelief.
She sighed a little about his lack of fantasy. "No Bos, she is or wasn't, afraid of you. Cancer is a life threatening disease and telling people you love and care about that you might die isn't the easiest thing to do."
"So she didn't think I could handle it, huh? It's SO like her. She always treats me like one of her kids. I hate it! She can't decide what I'm 'old enough' to handle," he said sarcastically.
"And you don't think you're giving her a reason?"
Anna's heart was bleeding for Faith, because Bosco was probably right, this was most likely the reason she hadn't told him. She wasn't stupid and she probably knew that she was pretty much the only one Bosco trusted, at least at the time she found out about the cancer. Anna knew Faith could read Bosco almost as good as she could, maybe even better, and if Anna were in Faith's shoes she would've been afraid to tell him too, actually she would've been scared to death!
Bosco looked at her angrily. "I can't believe you're asking me this shit! Of course I don't!"
"No? Well then tell me Bosco; how do you think you're acting now, huh? Your best friend and partner just told you she has cancer, that she might die, and all you can think about is that she didn't tell you right away! If this is how you always react, then I understand she was afraid to tell you. She doesn't need you sitting here, like a spoiled child, complaining about that you weren't the first to know, what she needs right now is help and support!"
"She still should have told me, " he said stubbornly, but his face had softened and his voice was low.
"Yes, she probably should, but she can't change that now, neither can you, all you two can do is to try to forgive and forget, and Bosco, please try to remember; she needs your support, now more then ever, to be able to fight this. She has cancer."
He looked at her, his eyes growing wide with fear when the severance of the situation finally hit him.
"But she said she would be alright, the doctors had told her so," he whispered, his voice filled with fear and the look of utter despair form the other day back in his eyes again.
"Bos," Anna said gently and looked him in the eyes as she touched his cheek, " things like that can never be for sure, believe me I know."
"Anna, I can't loose her, I just can't!" he said anguish in his voice, and she could tell that he was getting trouble breathing again.
"I know Bos, I know," she said softly, "just take one day at the time, OK? Talk to her tomorrow, try to sort things out, OK?"
He nodded and she said: "Come on, let's get you in bed."
Anna held him in her arms until he feel asleep, praying to God the whole time, not to take Faith away from them, knowing she needed her almost as much as Bosco, if she was going to stay sane in this relationship.
There was a knock at the door and Anna opened it, finding Faith standing outside, looking nervous and at the verge of crying.
"Hi," she said quietly.
"Hi, how are you feeling?" Anna said with concern and worry evident in her face and in her voice.
Faith felt relived. She had thought that Anna would be just as pissed as Bosco, maybe even more. Bosco could have ended up dead because of her, but all she saw in Anna's eyes was compassion.
"I'm OK. How's Bosco?" she said in a shaky voice.
"He's OK too, but he'll not be hunting down any preps for a while, that's for sure!" Anna said and smiled.
"Anna, I'm sorry, I know I promised you, I should have told him, I know he could have died because of me, I." her voice trailed off.
"Faith," Anna said gently. "It's OK, you and I are OK, don't worry about it. Save your apologies for Bosco, he's the one you have to convince. I tried to do some damage control for you, but the rest is up to you."
Faith looked at her, tears in her eyes. "Do you think he wants to talk to me?"
"No, he don't, but he promised me, so he better," Anna said and smiled again.
Faith just looked at her unhappily.
"Look, I have to go to work, but just go on in, and try not worry, I'm sure it's gonna be OK. Don't cry, though, Bosco's girls don't do that," Anna said and left, leaving a confused Faith to star after her.