TITLE: One heart beat for every lost day.
AUTHOR: faith_in _Faith
E-MAIL: faith_in_faith@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: Don't owe a thing someone else, very luck person does..
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: U to and including "old dogs, new tricks"
AUTHORS NOTE: My usually thanks to Carina, Jenny and Wine- into- water for correcting this, and a special thanks to Jenny for the patience with al my objections! BIG THANKS all of you for the reviews, please keep them up they make it easier to write!
Well are they going to be able to fix it.read and find out!
CHAPTER TWELVE
All Bosco had talked about for two weeks now was how sick Samuel and Adam were and how hard it was to take care of sick kids that were whining all the time. So when he called Faith to tell her he was sick, she didn't think it was anything strange about it at all. To tell the truth, she was surprised that he had last as long as he had. She figured he had to catch it from them sooner or later. She really missed him though, because although his patience with her and the preps got less and less as the days went by, Faith had really enjoyed those conversations. For once they talked about the same things, were on the same level so to speak.
She was also amazed about how much responsibility he took for two kids that weren't even his own, but there was something special about Anna. Something that made him show all his good sides at the same time, all the reasons that she was still his partner.
When she stepped out from the precinct that night and spotted Anna outside on the pavement, she immediately felt a knot forming in her stomach. Now what was wrong? Why was she here? Had Bosco fallen seriously ill? Thousands of possibilities to why Anna was there flew through her mind as she made her way over to her. When she came closer, Faith knew for sure there was something seriously wrong. Anna looked terrible. She was very pale and she obviously hadn't been getting much sleep lately, judging by the bags beneath her eyes, and a mix of guilt and despair replaced the usual calm and confident look in them.
"Anna what's wrong? Has anything happened to Bosco?" Faith asked anxiously.
"I don't know," Anna said in a weary voice. "I came to talk to him. I though he was here."
"Why would he be here when he's sick?" Faith asked in disbelief and looked intensely at her, waiting for an explanation. Anna didn't answer. She just looked at Faith, anguish in her big blue eyes.
"Anna! What's going on here? Where is Bosco?" Faith asked, growing more and more worried for every minute.
"I don't know," Anna whispered unhappily and swallowed hard. "I hoped he was with you."
Faith tried hard to put the pieces together and suddenly she understood. Something had gone seriously wrong between Anna and Bosco, and Bosco wasn't sick. He was on the run, again.
"What happened?" she asked softly and put her hand on Anna's shoulder.
"Nothing." Anna said simply.
"Nothing?" Faith said and rolled her eyes as she suppressed the urge to shake Anna. She felt like she was talking to Bosco. He really had a bad influence on people.
"Come on Anna! You wouldn't stand here looking like your whole world was falling apart if nothing had happened. So now tell me! What's wrong?"
"But nothing did happen," Anna said desperately. "He just thinks it did."
Faith looked at her for a few moments and then she sighed.
"Let's go somewhere and talk. Let me jut call Fred first. Can your babysitter stay?"
Anna nodded.
"OK, then just wait a second," Faith said, took out her cell phone and called Fred to tell him she would be late, again.
"So, now tell me what happened." Faith said and looked over at Anna who sat on the other side of the table. She had her hands around her cup as if she tried to warm herself. She took a deep breath and tucked some hair that had escaped from her braid behind her ear. Then she lifted her head to look at Faith and said tiredly:
"He thinks that he was about to hit me."
"WHAT?" Faith exclaimed, and then more calmly," was he?"
"No, of course not!" Anna said in a way that told Faith that she thought it was a very stupid question to ask.
"Then why does he think he was?"
"Because I acted like an idiot!" Anna said unhappily.
"I have a hard time believing that," Faith said softly, knowing all to well that the one who usually acted like an idiot was Bosco.
"But I did," Anna said and looked down at the tabletop.
"Why don't you tell me exactly what happened," Faith said gently. "If I know what happened then maybe I can help you to figure out what to do, OK?"
Anna nodded and took another deep breath, hesitated for a moment and then she said:
"You know the boy's have been sick for a long time right?"
Faith nodded to encourage her to go on.
"I work the night shift this week, and yesterday I was incredibly late because there was so much to do at work. I was hoping that Bosco had been able to get up and start making breakfast for the kids and things." she paused again and looked at Faith. Faith nodded again and Anna continued.
"Well, he had. He looked very tired though, and he was in a very bad mood, so I guessed you two had had a bad shift."
"Yeah, we had," Faith said and thought about how upset Bosco had been after arresting Mikey.
It was Anna's turn to nod before she said:
"I was so tired when we ate so I didn't notice that Adam was kicking at the table, but Bosco lost it and yelled at him. I got angry with him for it," Anna said regretfully.
"I can't say I blame you. Children don't like when you yell at them, and I guess yours have some bad memories connected with those things," Faith said and smiled reassuringly at Anna, not really sure were this was going to end.
Anna looked at her gratefully and offered her a tiny smile before she continued.
"I was angry with him for acting like a jerk. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me about Mikey. Then he got really angry and started to yell at me and suddenly he took a step closer to me, and then I acted like an idiot."
"And did what?"
"I backed away!" Anna said, guilt written all over her face.
"And Bosco thought that you thought he was about to hit you?" Faith asked carefully, knowing they were heading for disaster.
Anna nodded as she closed her eyes and swallowed hard.
"It was horrible. You should have seen him. He was devastated. He told me he knew I was afraid of him, but that I didn't have to worry. He wouldn't hurt me. I didn't have to see him again, ever, and things like that," Anna said in a shaky voice, her eyes filled with tears.
" Were you?"
"Was I what?"
"Afraid of him?" Faith asked, almost holding her breath. If the answer to the question was yes, then this whole thing was irreparable.
"NO! Of course not! That's the worst part of it all. I know what a man looks like when he's about to hit a woman. Bosco didn't look anything like that, never has and never will. When I took that step back, it was just instinct! After all those years of beating, that's how I react, I can't help it! It had nothing to do with him!" she said desperately and wiped away a tear that had escaped from her eyes.
"I tried." She took a shaky breath and tried to pull herself together before she continued.
"I really tried to make him stay, so that I could explain, but he didn't listen. All he could see was that he behaved exactly like his father! Oh Faith! He was so afraid! What am I gonna do?" Anna whispered and buried her face in her hands.
Faith felt so angry. Why could people like Bosco and Anna never have any peace and happiness? Why would everything always have to go wrong? It just wasn't fair. She had really thought that they would be able to heal each other's wounded souls. Obviously she was wrong. Her heart was bleeding for both of them, but most of all for Bosco. It didn't seem to be such a thing as happiness for him.
"Faith, what am I gonna do?" Anna asked again. "I have to talk to him, but he doesn't return my calls or answer the door. What if something has happened to him? What if he has done something to hurt himself?"
Faith felt her heart skip a beat. "He would never do that. He's no coward," she said, quickly dismissing the thought.
Anna just looked at her with eyes filled with anguish and despair.
"You don't understand. If he thinks he's like his father."
"Believe me I do understand!" Faith said firmly, cutting her off. "He would never do something like that. Trust me on this. I know him."
Anna nodded slowly. Faith was right. She knew Bosco, probably better than she did. If Faith said he would never do such a thing, then she didn't have to worry.
"Let me go and talk to him for you," Faith said gently.
"But what if he doesn't open the door?" Anna said pessimistically.
"Maybe he does for me, but if not, I have my own key."
"Can I come with you?" Anna said pleadingly.
"No," Faith shook her head. "It's better if I talk to him alone. If he sees you he might just refuse to talk to either of us. Why don't you go home and try to get some sleep. I try to fix this, OK? I'll call you to let you know he's OK."
"Thanks," Anna whispered gratefully.
Faith looked her straight in the eyes and said in a serious voice:
"I owe you one, remember?"
Anna just smiled weakly. *********
Faith knocked on Bosco's door. There was no answer. "What if he has done something to hurt himself?" Faith heard Anna's voice in the back of her head and once again she dismissed the thought, but an uneasy feeling lingered in her stomach. She knocked again, still no answer.
"Come on Bosco! Open up, it's me, Faith!" she shouted through the door.
"Go away!" came the raspy replay from inside the apartment.
"No, I've gotta talk to you. It's important," she said sternly.
"You'll just catch what I have, go away, I call you later." His voice sounded hoarse and weary, maybe he was sick too.
"No, I have to talk to you. It's about Anna, and I'm tired of standing outside the door talking to your neighbors as well as you. If you're not letting me in I'm gonna use my key," Faith said firmly.
There was a sound of feet shuffling against the floor and then the door opened and Bosco stood in front of her. To say that he looked like crap was probably the understatement of the century, she thought. He was pale and unshaven. His hair was a mess and his eyes blood shot. It was obvious that he hadn't taken a shower recently and she could smell the booze. Compared to him, Anna had looked and smelled like a beauty queen. She looked at him disapprovingly and said:
"So you're sick, huh? It seems to me like you've taken too much medicine."
"What do you want?" he said in a rude voice and massaged his temples.
She took another look at him and saw that he wasn't drunk anymore. He had a hangover. She softened a bit and said:
"I told you. It's about Anna. She came and talked to me today."
Bosco's face drained from what little color it had left and he leaned heavily against the doorframe, closing his eyes.
"Bosco?" Faith said worriedly. He opened his eyes to look at her and she could see the anguish and despair in them.
"I knew that she was afraid of me, but I didn't think she was so afraid that she had to ask you to keep me away from her," he said his voice so raspy and quiet that Faith could barely hear him.
Faith felt a lump forming in her throat. Anna was right; it was horrible to see him. He really looked devastated and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"Bos," Faith said gently and took him by his arm. "Let's go inside."
He didn't fight her. She led him to the couch and sat down beside him.
"You're wrong, she's not afraid of you Bos," Faith said firmly.
"You don't know that. You weren't there, but I was. I saw her. I saw her back away from me. I saw the fear in her eyes when she thought I would use these, he held up his shaking hands in front of her, to hurt her. Believe me she's afraid of me, and maybe you should be too."
The utter despair in his voice and eyes started to make Faith feel desperate as well.
"Bosco, please listen to me," she pleaded. "It's not like you think. It's all a big misunderstanding. Anna has tried to tell you that ever since it happened, but you wouldn't listen to her. That's why she came to talk to me. She didn't want me to keep you away from her. She wanted me to bring you back to her."
"That's not gonna happen," Bosco said firmly although his voice was a bit shaky.
"Bosco."
"No Faith! I'm not going back! Next time I might not been able to control myself and I'm not gonna end up hurting her. It's not gonna happen. No way!" he said desperately.
"But Bosco, nothing happened. She wants you to come back. She told me so herself," Faith tried to convince him.
"No nothing happened. This time, but next time she might not be that lucky, and they always want the abuser to come back. You of all people should know that. It's not like you haven't seen it all before," he said bitterly.
"Bosco," Faith said softly, "you have to listen to me. It was a misunderstanding. She told me so herself."
Bosco looked at her and smiled a twisted smile that made him look like he was about to loose it completely.
"There was no misunderstanding, believe me. I acted like my father the whole freaking morning, I even yelled at the poor kids! I know it's hard, but you better face it Faith. I'm just like him, and I if anyone knows what happened, it's me. I was there, you weren't!"
"No I wasn't, but Anna was, and all I know is, that when I left work tonight, she was there, trying to get hold of you, looking just as guilty and desperate as you do."
He didn't answer.
"Bosco look at me!" she urged. He stubbornly looked down at the floor. "Please Bosco" she said pleadingly," look at me."
He reluctantly lifted his head to look at her and she took it between her hands to stop him from turning away from her again, but he pulled it away. She sighed and said:
"When Anna showed up outside the precinct tonight I got scared. I thought you were seriously ill or something. Then I realized that she was as worried about you as I was, that she didn't even know where you were. I asked her what had happened, and do you know what she answered?"
"No," Bosco said barely audible. He was terrified to hear the answer. He didn't want to hear how scared she had been. This was hard enough as it was. He tried to avert his eyes, but Faith held his gaze.
"Nothing. She said nothing had happened."
Bosco looked at her in disbelief. "She said that?" Faith nodded.
"Yeah she did, and to be honest with you that pissed me off. I thought she was just like you."
He gave her a questioning look. She smiled.
"You know, always refuse to talk about things that bug you."
He glared at her, and she smiled again.
"The thing is Bosco, she was telling the truth. Nothing did happen, at least not what you think happened."
Bosco opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off.
"Now please listen to me, or listen to Anna, because this is what she would tell you if you gave her a chance. You are right. She took a step back, and yeah, in some way she was afraid too, but she wasn't afraid of you. It was the situation that frightened her. She has been beaten for eight years. Eight years Bosco! That's a very long time.
"I know;" he murmured. That thought had tortured him since he found out, and even more so now, when he had almost given her more experience on the subject.
"That kind of experience creates a way of acting that's pure instinct. You know, like we do when we face dangerous situations at work. You were angry. You shouted at her. You took a step towards her. She took a step back. Not because she was afraid of you. Not because she thought that you would hit her, but because that's how she reacts in those kinds of situations."
He shook his head. "No, she thought I was going to hit her. I know it, and like you said: She had been beaten up for eight years. She should know, right?"
Faith sighed. God, he was stubborn, but for once she understood him. For two days he had thought his worst nightmare had come true. If she had been in his shoes, she wouldn't have been that easy to convince either.
"No Bos," she said firmly. "She didn't think that. She told me she knew what a man looks like when he's about to hit a woman and she said you didn't look anything like that. Never have and never will."
"She really said that?" Bosco asked in a shaky voice.
"Yeah, she did, and like you said, she should know."
"So you mean nothing really happened. Everything was just a big misunderstanding?" he said with a mix of disbelief and relief in his voice, looking at her wide-eyed.
Faith nodded. "That's why she tried to get you to stay. That's why she has been calling you and coming here to talk to you. Nothing really happened Bosco, it was just your imagination."
"How can you be so sure? You weren't there."
"No I wasn't, but Anna was. I might not know her all that well, but one ting I do know. She doesn't lie." Faith said firmly.
Bosco nodded slowly. She was right. Anna would never lie, not about something as important as this. Faith looked at him and saw that the truth finally began to sink in and said gently:
"Come one Bos, let me take you home to her. She's been worried sick about you."
"No, I'll go to her tomorrow. I don't want her to see me like this," he said and looked at himself, embarrassed about the condition he was in.
"Come on Bos," Faith said with a smile. "She's worried about you and if I know you, she has probably seen you in a much worse condition than this!"
He smiled weakly and said: "You're probably right."
"I always am," she said and smiled. ******
Twenty minutes later Anna heard a knock on the door and found Bosco standing outside. Her whole face lit up when she saw him.
"Bosco, I'm so sorry," she said in a shaky voice.
He pulled her into his embrace and whispered with his lips against her hair "You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault."
"Neither was it yours," she whispered back.
"I know," he said.
Anna pulled away from him and said: "I love you Bosco, but if we're ever gonna make this work, we both have to stop being afraid of ghosts."
He just nodded and pulled her back in his embrace, feeling her shake as she began to cry.
AUTHOR: faith_in _Faith
E-MAIL: faith_in_faith@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: Don't owe a thing someone else, very luck person does..
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: U to and including "old dogs, new tricks"
AUTHORS NOTE: My usually thanks to Carina, Jenny and Wine- into- water for correcting this, and a special thanks to Jenny for the patience with al my objections! BIG THANKS all of you for the reviews, please keep them up they make it easier to write!
Well are they going to be able to fix it.read and find out!
CHAPTER TWELVE
All Bosco had talked about for two weeks now was how sick Samuel and Adam were and how hard it was to take care of sick kids that were whining all the time. So when he called Faith to tell her he was sick, she didn't think it was anything strange about it at all. To tell the truth, she was surprised that he had last as long as he had. She figured he had to catch it from them sooner or later. She really missed him though, because although his patience with her and the preps got less and less as the days went by, Faith had really enjoyed those conversations. For once they talked about the same things, were on the same level so to speak.
She was also amazed about how much responsibility he took for two kids that weren't even his own, but there was something special about Anna. Something that made him show all his good sides at the same time, all the reasons that she was still his partner.
When she stepped out from the precinct that night and spotted Anna outside on the pavement, she immediately felt a knot forming in her stomach. Now what was wrong? Why was she here? Had Bosco fallen seriously ill? Thousands of possibilities to why Anna was there flew through her mind as she made her way over to her. When she came closer, Faith knew for sure there was something seriously wrong. Anna looked terrible. She was very pale and she obviously hadn't been getting much sleep lately, judging by the bags beneath her eyes, and a mix of guilt and despair replaced the usual calm and confident look in them.
"Anna what's wrong? Has anything happened to Bosco?" Faith asked anxiously.
"I don't know," Anna said in a weary voice. "I came to talk to him. I though he was here."
"Why would he be here when he's sick?" Faith asked in disbelief and looked intensely at her, waiting for an explanation. Anna didn't answer. She just looked at Faith, anguish in her big blue eyes.
"Anna! What's going on here? Where is Bosco?" Faith asked, growing more and more worried for every minute.
"I don't know," Anna whispered unhappily and swallowed hard. "I hoped he was with you."
Faith tried hard to put the pieces together and suddenly she understood. Something had gone seriously wrong between Anna and Bosco, and Bosco wasn't sick. He was on the run, again.
"What happened?" she asked softly and put her hand on Anna's shoulder.
"Nothing." Anna said simply.
"Nothing?" Faith said and rolled her eyes as she suppressed the urge to shake Anna. She felt like she was talking to Bosco. He really had a bad influence on people.
"Come on Anna! You wouldn't stand here looking like your whole world was falling apart if nothing had happened. So now tell me! What's wrong?"
"But nothing did happen," Anna said desperately. "He just thinks it did."
Faith looked at her for a few moments and then she sighed.
"Let's go somewhere and talk. Let me jut call Fred first. Can your babysitter stay?"
Anna nodded.
"OK, then just wait a second," Faith said, took out her cell phone and called Fred to tell him she would be late, again.
"So, now tell me what happened." Faith said and looked over at Anna who sat on the other side of the table. She had her hands around her cup as if she tried to warm herself. She took a deep breath and tucked some hair that had escaped from her braid behind her ear. Then she lifted her head to look at Faith and said tiredly:
"He thinks that he was about to hit me."
"WHAT?" Faith exclaimed, and then more calmly," was he?"
"No, of course not!" Anna said in a way that told Faith that she thought it was a very stupid question to ask.
"Then why does he think he was?"
"Because I acted like an idiot!" Anna said unhappily.
"I have a hard time believing that," Faith said softly, knowing all to well that the one who usually acted like an idiot was Bosco.
"But I did," Anna said and looked down at the tabletop.
"Why don't you tell me exactly what happened," Faith said gently. "If I know what happened then maybe I can help you to figure out what to do, OK?"
Anna nodded and took another deep breath, hesitated for a moment and then she said:
"You know the boy's have been sick for a long time right?"
Faith nodded to encourage her to go on.
"I work the night shift this week, and yesterday I was incredibly late because there was so much to do at work. I was hoping that Bosco had been able to get up and start making breakfast for the kids and things." she paused again and looked at Faith. Faith nodded again and Anna continued.
"Well, he had. He looked very tired though, and he was in a very bad mood, so I guessed you two had had a bad shift."
"Yeah, we had," Faith said and thought about how upset Bosco had been after arresting Mikey.
It was Anna's turn to nod before she said:
"I was so tired when we ate so I didn't notice that Adam was kicking at the table, but Bosco lost it and yelled at him. I got angry with him for it," Anna said regretfully.
"I can't say I blame you. Children don't like when you yell at them, and I guess yours have some bad memories connected with those things," Faith said and smiled reassuringly at Anna, not really sure were this was going to end.
Anna looked at her gratefully and offered her a tiny smile before she continued.
"I was angry with him for acting like a jerk. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me about Mikey. Then he got really angry and started to yell at me and suddenly he took a step closer to me, and then I acted like an idiot."
"And did what?"
"I backed away!" Anna said, guilt written all over her face.
"And Bosco thought that you thought he was about to hit you?" Faith asked carefully, knowing they were heading for disaster.
Anna nodded as she closed her eyes and swallowed hard.
"It was horrible. You should have seen him. He was devastated. He told me he knew I was afraid of him, but that I didn't have to worry. He wouldn't hurt me. I didn't have to see him again, ever, and things like that," Anna said in a shaky voice, her eyes filled with tears.
" Were you?"
"Was I what?"
"Afraid of him?" Faith asked, almost holding her breath. If the answer to the question was yes, then this whole thing was irreparable.
"NO! Of course not! That's the worst part of it all. I know what a man looks like when he's about to hit a woman. Bosco didn't look anything like that, never has and never will. When I took that step back, it was just instinct! After all those years of beating, that's how I react, I can't help it! It had nothing to do with him!" she said desperately and wiped away a tear that had escaped from her eyes.
"I tried." She took a shaky breath and tried to pull herself together before she continued.
"I really tried to make him stay, so that I could explain, but he didn't listen. All he could see was that he behaved exactly like his father! Oh Faith! He was so afraid! What am I gonna do?" Anna whispered and buried her face in her hands.
Faith felt so angry. Why could people like Bosco and Anna never have any peace and happiness? Why would everything always have to go wrong? It just wasn't fair. She had really thought that they would be able to heal each other's wounded souls. Obviously she was wrong. Her heart was bleeding for both of them, but most of all for Bosco. It didn't seem to be such a thing as happiness for him.
"Faith, what am I gonna do?" Anna asked again. "I have to talk to him, but he doesn't return my calls or answer the door. What if something has happened to him? What if he has done something to hurt himself?"
Faith felt her heart skip a beat. "He would never do that. He's no coward," she said, quickly dismissing the thought.
Anna just looked at her with eyes filled with anguish and despair.
"You don't understand. If he thinks he's like his father."
"Believe me I do understand!" Faith said firmly, cutting her off. "He would never do something like that. Trust me on this. I know him."
Anna nodded slowly. Faith was right. She knew Bosco, probably better than she did. If Faith said he would never do such a thing, then she didn't have to worry.
"Let me go and talk to him for you," Faith said gently.
"But what if he doesn't open the door?" Anna said pessimistically.
"Maybe he does for me, but if not, I have my own key."
"Can I come with you?" Anna said pleadingly.
"No," Faith shook her head. "It's better if I talk to him alone. If he sees you he might just refuse to talk to either of us. Why don't you go home and try to get some sleep. I try to fix this, OK? I'll call you to let you know he's OK."
"Thanks," Anna whispered gratefully.
Faith looked her straight in the eyes and said in a serious voice:
"I owe you one, remember?"
Anna just smiled weakly. *********
Faith knocked on Bosco's door. There was no answer. "What if he has done something to hurt himself?" Faith heard Anna's voice in the back of her head and once again she dismissed the thought, but an uneasy feeling lingered in her stomach. She knocked again, still no answer.
"Come on Bosco! Open up, it's me, Faith!" she shouted through the door.
"Go away!" came the raspy replay from inside the apartment.
"No, I've gotta talk to you. It's important," she said sternly.
"You'll just catch what I have, go away, I call you later." His voice sounded hoarse and weary, maybe he was sick too.
"No, I have to talk to you. It's about Anna, and I'm tired of standing outside the door talking to your neighbors as well as you. If you're not letting me in I'm gonna use my key," Faith said firmly.
There was a sound of feet shuffling against the floor and then the door opened and Bosco stood in front of her. To say that he looked like crap was probably the understatement of the century, she thought. He was pale and unshaven. His hair was a mess and his eyes blood shot. It was obvious that he hadn't taken a shower recently and she could smell the booze. Compared to him, Anna had looked and smelled like a beauty queen. She looked at him disapprovingly and said:
"So you're sick, huh? It seems to me like you've taken too much medicine."
"What do you want?" he said in a rude voice and massaged his temples.
She took another look at him and saw that he wasn't drunk anymore. He had a hangover. She softened a bit and said:
"I told you. It's about Anna. She came and talked to me today."
Bosco's face drained from what little color it had left and he leaned heavily against the doorframe, closing his eyes.
"Bosco?" Faith said worriedly. He opened his eyes to look at her and she could see the anguish and despair in them.
"I knew that she was afraid of me, but I didn't think she was so afraid that she had to ask you to keep me away from her," he said his voice so raspy and quiet that Faith could barely hear him.
Faith felt a lump forming in her throat. Anna was right; it was horrible to see him. He really looked devastated and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
"Bos," Faith said gently and took him by his arm. "Let's go inside."
He didn't fight her. She led him to the couch and sat down beside him.
"You're wrong, she's not afraid of you Bos," Faith said firmly.
"You don't know that. You weren't there, but I was. I saw her. I saw her back away from me. I saw the fear in her eyes when she thought I would use these, he held up his shaking hands in front of her, to hurt her. Believe me she's afraid of me, and maybe you should be too."
The utter despair in his voice and eyes started to make Faith feel desperate as well.
"Bosco, please listen to me," she pleaded. "It's not like you think. It's all a big misunderstanding. Anna has tried to tell you that ever since it happened, but you wouldn't listen to her. That's why she came to talk to me. She didn't want me to keep you away from her. She wanted me to bring you back to her."
"That's not gonna happen," Bosco said firmly although his voice was a bit shaky.
"Bosco."
"No Faith! I'm not going back! Next time I might not been able to control myself and I'm not gonna end up hurting her. It's not gonna happen. No way!" he said desperately.
"But Bosco, nothing happened. She wants you to come back. She told me so herself," Faith tried to convince him.
"No nothing happened. This time, but next time she might not be that lucky, and they always want the abuser to come back. You of all people should know that. It's not like you haven't seen it all before," he said bitterly.
"Bosco," Faith said softly, "you have to listen to me. It was a misunderstanding. She told me so herself."
Bosco looked at her and smiled a twisted smile that made him look like he was about to loose it completely.
"There was no misunderstanding, believe me. I acted like my father the whole freaking morning, I even yelled at the poor kids! I know it's hard, but you better face it Faith. I'm just like him, and I if anyone knows what happened, it's me. I was there, you weren't!"
"No I wasn't, but Anna was, and all I know is, that when I left work tonight, she was there, trying to get hold of you, looking just as guilty and desperate as you do."
He didn't answer.
"Bosco look at me!" she urged. He stubbornly looked down at the floor. "Please Bosco" she said pleadingly," look at me."
He reluctantly lifted his head to look at her and she took it between her hands to stop him from turning away from her again, but he pulled it away. She sighed and said:
"When Anna showed up outside the precinct tonight I got scared. I thought you were seriously ill or something. Then I realized that she was as worried about you as I was, that she didn't even know where you were. I asked her what had happened, and do you know what she answered?"
"No," Bosco said barely audible. He was terrified to hear the answer. He didn't want to hear how scared she had been. This was hard enough as it was. He tried to avert his eyes, but Faith held his gaze.
"Nothing. She said nothing had happened."
Bosco looked at her in disbelief. "She said that?" Faith nodded.
"Yeah she did, and to be honest with you that pissed me off. I thought she was just like you."
He gave her a questioning look. She smiled.
"You know, always refuse to talk about things that bug you."
He glared at her, and she smiled again.
"The thing is Bosco, she was telling the truth. Nothing did happen, at least not what you think happened."
Bosco opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off.
"Now please listen to me, or listen to Anna, because this is what she would tell you if you gave her a chance. You are right. She took a step back, and yeah, in some way she was afraid too, but she wasn't afraid of you. It was the situation that frightened her. She has been beaten for eight years. Eight years Bosco! That's a very long time.
"I know;" he murmured. That thought had tortured him since he found out, and even more so now, when he had almost given her more experience on the subject.
"That kind of experience creates a way of acting that's pure instinct. You know, like we do when we face dangerous situations at work. You were angry. You shouted at her. You took a step towards her. She took a step back. Not because she was afraid of you. Not because she thought that you would hit her, but because that's how she reacts in those kinds of situations."
He shook his head. "No, she thought I was going to hit her. I know it, and like you said: She had been beaten up for eight years. She should know, right?"
Faith sighed. God, he was stubborn, but for once she understood him. For two days he had thought his worst nightmare had come true. If she had been in his shoes, she wouldn't have been that easy to convince either.
"No Bos," she said firmly. "She didn't think that. She told me she knew what a man looks like when he's about to hit a woman and she said you didn't look anything like that. Never have and never will."
"She really said that?" Bosco asked in a shaky voice.
"Yeah, she did, and like you said, she should know."
"So you mean nothing really happened. Everything was just a big misunderstanding?" he said with a mix of disbelief and relief in his voice, looking at her wide-eyed.
Faith nodded. "That's why she tried to get you to stay. That's why she has been calling you and coming here to talk to you. Nothing really happened Bosco, it was just your imagination."
"How can you be so sure? You weren't there."
"No I wasn't, but Anna was. I might not know her all that well, but one ting I do know. She doesn't lie." Faith said firmly.
Bosco nodded slowly. She was right. Anna would never lie, not about something as important as this. Faith looked at him and saw that the truth finally began to sink in and said gently:
"Come one Bos, let me take you home to her. She's been worried sick about you."
"No, I'll go to her tomorrow. I don't want her to see me like this," he said and looked at himself, embarrassed about the condition he was in.
"Come on Bos," Faith said with a smile. "She's worried about you and if I know you, she has probably seen you in a much worse condition than this!"
He smiled weakly and said: "You're probably right."
"I always am," she said and smiled. ******
Twenty minutes later Anna heard a knock on the door and found Bosco standing outside. Her whole face lit up when she saw him.
"Bosco, I'm so sorry," she said in a shaky voice.
He pulled her into his embrace and whispered with his lips against her hair "You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault."
"Neither was it yours," she whispered back.
"I know," he said.
Anna pulled away from him and said: "I love you Bosco, but if we're ever gonna make this work, we both have to stop being afraid of ghosts."
He just nodded and pulled her back in his embrace, feeling her shake as she began to cry.