CHAPTER SEVEN- Frogs And Snails And Puppy Dog Tails

"What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails
And puppy-dog's tails;
That's what little boys are made of."

~ 'What Are Little Boys Made Of?', Ladybird Book of Nursery Rhymes

"If She imagines She's going to be able to keep me quiet by plonking me in front of the television all day, She's living in a fantasy world. There are no soft options in dealing with me, and the sooner She comes to terms with that fact, the better."

~ 'How To Be A Little SOD' by Simon Brett

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After a quick tour of the school, where Severus showed scant interest in the library but was fascinated with the House Elves and lingered in the potions classroom and the bottled wonders within it, Sirius guided the child to his rooms accompanied by Remus. Although his quarters were not of the massive dimensions as the teaching staff, when one had spent twelve years languishing in a six-foot-by-six-foot cell in Azkaban they were positively luxurious in comparison. Comprised of a living room, a bathroom, a small kitchen area and two bedrooms- the teachers had at least four which could be used as bedrooms or study areas- Sirius found his quarters more than adequate since he spent most of his time at his childhood home doubling as the Order Headquarters or in the field.

While the two men shifted Severus' luggage to the spare bedroom, the boy occupied himself by exploring what would be his new home for the foreseeable future. Suddenly Severus let out such a horrified gasp, Sirius feared Voldemort had come to snatch the tiny Potions Master right then and there. He and Remus dumped the suitcases they were holding and dashed into the main living room only to find their charge desperately searching for something.

"What's wrong, Sev?" Sirius demanded, thinking the boy might have been ill.

"There's no TV!" wailed Severus, his dark eyes wide in astonishment and disbelief.

Emergency deemed a false alarm, Sirius heaved a hefty sigh of relief and Remus chuckled softly, waiting to see how his friend would excuse the absence of the Muggle contraption given the way Severus was glowering at him as if he had committed a major crime. Remembering Severus still thought much like a Muggle, Sirius guessed it *was* an unforgivable deed to him. Before he had been pardoned, Sirius had spent part of the year he was on the run living among Muggles and he had seen how their children, and many adults, seemed unable to function without a daily dose of the absolute rubbish aired on their beloved televisions.

"Eh, kid, wizards don't use electricity so we have no TVs," Sirius said, patiently, "in fact we don't have any of the appliances you had back in the Muggle world."

Severus took a long moment to digest this then chewed his lip plaintively like they condemned him to some prehistoric land. "No TV, no pizza- what kind of place have you brought me to?"

Sirius couldn't help smirking inwardly at that. Ever the epitome of the perfect Pureblood, Snape would be mortified if he heard himself being reliant on Muggle technology. He would bet his freedom that Snape probably didn't even know what a television was until he was cursed back into childhood.

Sensing Moony's rebuke, no doubt his friend was more than aware of how he was thinking, Sirius ruffled Severus' silky hair in encouragingly. There would be plenty of time later to taunt Snape when he was back to adult form thus a more suitable target.

"Just relax, no electricity doesn't mean we live like cavemen, our needs are served by magic."

"We'll pick you up some comic books and toy figures tomorrow," Remus added, "and with the refresher classes you'll be doing," Severus screwed up his face at this, "we won't see you go bored."

At Severus' doubtful scoff, Sirius grinned mischievously. "And when you meet Harry and his friends, I'm sure you kids will find plenty of fun to get into."

He had already told the boy all about Harry and couldn't wait for the two to meet, eagerly anticipating the adventures they could experience together. He proudly recalled the numerous antics his godson had previously managed to be muddled in. James would be so proud of his son, the honourary Marauder.

Over the boy's head, Remus scowled at disapproval at him then knelt down in front of Severus, taking him by the shoulders. "Severus, I want you to remember you'll be safe at Hogwarts from Voldemort-"

"The bad man?" interrupted Severus.

Remus smiled grimly. "Yes, the bad man, but I want you to remember that Hogwarts has its dangers and you have to be careful just like you would anywhere else."

"What do you mean?" Severus asked guilelessly. "Like not playing near the cooker 'cause you could burn yourself?"

Sirius, realizing what Remus was attempting to explain to the child, felt an odd wave of sadness. Cookers were least of the potential dangers to the boy here in the big bad Wizarding World that was infinitely darker than the world he had come from. Between Voldemort, the various lone wizards with fiendish motives and falling afoul of a roaming Dark Creature, Severus needed to be made aware of every possible threat, more so considering he was now the most sought after child on the Death Eaters' hit list. Not to mention the very simple reason of the castle hardly being deemed childproof when it was intended for students old enough to be vigilant and responsible.

"A bit like that," Remus said, "but here it might be a burning cauldron that you could burn yourself on or an acidic potion. I don't want you to wander around the classrooms on your own without an adult or touching anything you don't recognise and I want you to promise me, the biggest promise you can make, that you won't go near the Forbidden Forest. Do you promise?"

From the way Severus' eyes lit up at mention of the forest, Sirius could see the boy had been plotting a visit from the second he had learnt of the existence of the Forbidden Forest. It chilled him to think of the boy slipping away to the forest then being mauled by some beast or losing his way in the deep thickets where men had gone before and never been seen since.

Every First Year student were drawn to the allure of the forest and all the awesome creatures that lived in its dark realms- the fact it was forbidden made it all the more tempting to an eleven-year-old newly cut loose from their parents' apron strings- but the risk of losing House points or expulsion was enough to ward off any thought of acting on impulse. Only they couldn't expel Severus since he wasn't even a Hogwarts student and, tempting as it was, they could hardly deduct points from Slytherin since House loyalty meant nothing to him. All they could do was have him solemnly swear not to go off into the forest and to stay where he was safe.

A promise Severus did not seem keen to hold himself to.

"Severus?" Remus urged sternly, when the boy did not reply. "Do you promise?"

Severus sighed grudgingly. "Okay, I promise."

Remus rewarded him with a proud smile. "Good boy, that's all I ask."

Like any child, Severus revelled in this praise until a calculating shrewdness crossed his eyes reminding them of his Slytherin roots. "Has Harry been in the Forbidden Forest?"

Sirius was starting to regret ever mentioning Harry's exploits. Apparently, all his stories were being stored away for ammunition. He might have enjoyed Harry's schoolboy tricks or hearing his godson rave certain reviled teachers like Snape but it pained him to learn of how the teenager had faced down Voldemort and had witnessed a friend being slaughtered in front of him. There was no way he would have wished any child, especially one as young as six, to go through what Harry had endured over the past five years, even if that child was Snape.

Remus just shook his head in despair of him and what he had told Severus. He pointedly refused to answer the waiting boy leaving Sirius to clean up his own mess.

"Harry is...different," Sirius replied lamely.

"How is Harry different?" This time the question was asked with a stubbornness only a child could muster.

"He just is, Sev." So used to encouraging Harry's unruly behaviour, it was strange trying to be the voice of authority. Was that the difference between being a friend and being a father? Suddenly, he was starting to rethink the way he treated Harry and how his godson saw him.

Remus rolled his eyes at his friend's pitiful explanation. "Severus, Harry is much older than you and he knows how to perform magic to protect himself. When he was your age he wasn't allowed in the forest either and when you're his age, you'll be allowed to do the same things as he is. Does that sound fair?"

Severus nodded. "Yes, I suppose so."

"Good, I knew you'd understand. Now how about you get changed into your pyjamas for bed?"

"Aww, but I'm not tired," yawned the boy petulantly.

"I know you're not but put your pj's on and we'll tell you a story," Remus bartered. "One about monsters and dragons."

"I'll get changed right now," beamed the boy, running off into his new bedroom.

Sirius had to admit for the first time in years he felt a surge of jealousy towards Remus as he watched how easily his friend both disciplined and rewarded Severus. The boy was *his* responsibility. He forced himself to acknowledge not only was Moony more sensible and level-headed by nature- he was the only Marauder to be named prefect- but he was a teacher by profession who attended to twenty or more children every day. Of course he would be enlightened in the care of children but that didn't mean Sirius was incompetent. He just had to learn.

And learn he did.

Over the course of the next few days, Sirius found himself in the role of a student of sorts learning the many lessons of raising a small child. His first inclination had been to treat Severus as he did Harry, allowing the boy the same freedoms as his godson regarding bedtime and bath routines. He quickly discovered that was not a bright approach.

The main differences dividing childhood and adolescence was the way the child viewed sleep; on one hand, Harry would quite happily retire to bed if he felt tired, be it nine o'clock or three in the morning, while on the other, Severus saw bedtime as defeat and feared he would miss some great event if he were in bed. So naturally he was delighted when Sirius initially did not impose a set bedtime. The boy stubbornly forced himself to stay up until past midnight only to wake up grumpy bright and early at the crack of dawn the following morning. Sirius could feel the utter disapproval and tutting of McGonagall, Pomfrey and Sprout as they took in their exhausted, cantankerous little cherub yawning his way through breakfast. Even Moony the traitor frowned at him when he had to save Severus from falling asleep in his soup at lunch.

That night Severus was bodily carried to bed at nine o'clock sharp.

Then there was bath time. What was the attraction between children and mud? And why did every little boy have an 'allergy' to being clean? One morning Severus managed a mere twenty minutes before his clean clothes of the day were stained with juice, dust and what looked like paint (Merlin only knows where the kid found wet paint in a thousand-year-old castle). When it became apparent Severus was quite happily going to bed grubby and unwashed, Sirius put his foot down and made nightly baths compulsory. The last thing he needed was having the Dementors carting him away because McGonagall had reported him for child neglect.

He just thanked Merlin and whatever deities who watched out for poor struggling new fathers that Severus could bath himself. He *did* not want to contemplate how wrong he would have felt if he had to help Severus Snape in the bath, child or otherwise.

Sirius was also unprepared for what notoriously picky eaters young children could be so used to being surrounded by perpetually hungry teenagers. The first morning Severus had a major case of the sulks when he found out Hogwarts did not supply those hideous boxes of sugar Muggles passed for children's cereal. Then at supper time he glared in disdain when Sirius ploughed food onto his plate.

"Aren't you going to eat, Severus?" Sirius had asked when the boy had not touched his dinner.

Severus had frowned at the platter Sirius had dished out for him. "Look, the carrots are touching the potatoes, there's green *things*," he sneered in disgust as he pointed at the peas, "on the plate and there's slimy stuff on the meat."

"That's gravy. Don't you like it?"

"Eww!"

Why had he never been warned how taxing full time childcare could be? James had always made parenthood look a breeze albeit he had Lily as one hundred percent support and Harry had been at a good age then. Whatever idiot had said the task of raising children became easier as they grew apparently had never met a six-year-old child, old enough to talk and make demands yet too young to be reasoned with. In the space of a week, his respect for Molly Weasley had increased tenfold; the woman deserved the Order of Merlin award for surviving the horror of raising not one but *seven* kids.

Yet he was damned if he would admit defeat and not just because he didn't want to concede to McGonagall. No, the reason for his perseverance was simpler...for all the demands that came with caring for Severus, Sirius relished the role he played in the boy's life. He was starting to even forget this child was not another godchild but his boyhood foe. This young Snape was such a bright, happy angel of a child it was easy to disconnect him from the morose, unpleasant teacher who was the bane of every Hogwarts student life. He only hoped Harry would not be jealous or feel displaced by his new charge, a boy who had him entwined around his little fingers as tightly as he was around his godson's.

Still, Sirius was cautious never to mention how he took such glee in tormenting Snape in their schooldays. Children could be the cruellest creatures on the planet and he certainly was no exception to the rule. But in his experience, children from fractured backgrounds like 'Steven' and Harry's could either be broken or, as a result of never knowing familial love, were more empathic to classmates who were different thus open to bullying.

That rule seemed to hold true when applied to his new charge. During his months in that orphanage, Severus had been taught to try to show empathy and kindness to all his peers and to see his contemporaries in the orphanage as his family. He did not understand why there were four Houses dividing the student body of Hogwarts, patiently telling them Jessica said there was enough war in the world without looking for more. It was for this reason he refused to accept the immense rivalries between the Hogwarts Houses and why he would not be so tolerant of the tricks the Marauders played on the Slytherins simply because they felt they were upholding Gryffindor's honour. Severus might have been young but Sirius did not think he would be any more forgiving than his elder self.

So although Remus harped on about confessing the truth of their adversarial relationship with Snape to little Severus, Sirius ignored him in favour of focusing on the present. Every since he had seen a five-day-old Harry cradled in the arms of his doting parents, he had had wanted to put his devil-may-care attitude behind him and settle down with a family of his own. He dreamt of watching his kids play with James', the next generation of Marauders, and coming home each night to the loving embrace of a wife.

Dreams that shattered the day he was incarcerated in Azkaban.

Even now, despite being pardoned for his crimes, people still whispered behind his back and there were lingering doubts of his innocence from those who did not know him. What woman would want a man who was marred by the stench of spilled blood?

Only he had been given a chance once again. He might not have any hope of having a conventional family but the moment he met the then thirteen-year-old Harry, he knew it could at least have a taste of fatherhood. And now this second child had been placed in is custody, Sirius already felt as protective of him as he did of Harry. If anyone or anything posed any threat to either of his boys, he would gladly strike them down without hesitation, without remorse. In the mere week he had known little Sev, he would die to protect the boy from Voldemort or anyone else who sought to do him harm.

Perhaps, *that* was the difference between being a friend and being a father...

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It was September first and the students would be returning to Hogwarts the next day. For Steven there was a mix of apprehension and excitement at the thought of the school suddenly being packed with nearly three hundred children all years older than him. At his former elementary school, the children in the older grades only had a couple of years on him not to mention they didn't live in the same building as him. Sure, there was older children at the Centre but at least there he had the support of Allie and Chance.

Not to mention back home he was Steven, just a normal boy with some strange abilities no more or less intriguing than any of the other children he knew. Now he was supposedly some sort of fancy chemistry teacher in a magic school. He might only have been six years old but he still had problems accepting that. It wasn't that he didn't believe them, it was more than he didn't *want* to believe he was an adult when he felt so much like a child. And it was rather frightening and disturbing to have these new people tell him of all the power and knowledge brimming in his mind. He had always known deep down what he was capable of, how *things* would happen when he lost his temper or was scared, but having it confirmed to him made it all the more real.

"What's up, Sev?"

Steven gazed up from where he was lying on the floor, absently fiddling with some wizarding chess pieces, to find Sirius smiling down at him. "Nothing, just thinking."

"Well, just start thinking about bed, it's almost nine o'clock," Sirius reminded him.

"Mmm."

Steven pushed himself up to watch Sirius join Remus on the sofa, both men indulging in a glass of an amber substance called Firewhiskey. Not truly concentrating on them, he picked up the gist of their conversation revolved around the new school term where Remus would begin his second year running as the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Apparently he used to teach before but left only to return the previous year to help protect the school when everyone though he, Steven, had been murdered. Steven had heard Professor Sprout say Remus was reliable and at least he wasn't dictated by his ego, or worse, a psychopath; this school was very stranger.

For his part, Steven rather liked Remus. No matter how exhausted the sandy-haired man appeared, he always had a smile and a kind word for the boy. It was more than that; Remus seemed naturally placid but he could be strict with Steven, chastising him if the boy was up to mischief and providing rules so as he didn't wander out of bounds. What Steven enjoyed most was that Remus treated him like a friend rather than a baby to be coddled and cooed over, a crime constantly committed by all the staff including the Principal and Professor McGonagall.

Of all the adults in Hogwarts, it was Sirius who he found unpredictable. Although he liked Sirius in boyish adoration, the man was confusing. There were times when Sirius would attempt to be tough on him, like marching Steven off to bed and ensuring he ate most of his dinner before dessert, then there were other occasions when he acted like those men Jessica described as 'overgrown boys'. He'd snigger over a silly joke or executed daredevil stunts on his broomstick (which Steven couldn't wait to try for himself the minute he was unattended with a broomstick) until Remus would shout at him for being a bad example.

"You know how you said we went to school together?" asked Steven, breaking a short lull.

Sirius nodded, a little puzzled at his sudden interest in the past. "Yeah?"

"Were we good friends?"

Had he been older he would have been more aware of subtle body language. As it was, Steven was only a little boy and he didn't notice both men still at the question.

"Why do you ask?" Remus asked, choosing to hedge.

"Just wondering. I mean, you wouldn't be looking after me if we hated each other, right?"

After a slight hesitation, Sirius responded. "You know, Sev, we *were* in different Houses-"

"I was in Slytherin," Steven piped up, pleased he remembered the correct name.

He didn't pretend to understand their obsession with the House teams. If they adopted the same system back at the Centre, there probably would have been blood shed and he didn't know why teachers of all people would want to encourage such bitter rivalry. Take Sirius for example; he was old yet when someone mentioned his former House Gryffindor, he would perk up to pledge his allegiance to it despite the fact he must have left school *centuries* ago.

Still, he did like the idea of belonging to a gang and he found snakes- the animal symbol of his House- fascinating so he wasn't going to argue.

"Yes," Sirius smiled grimly, "and we were in Gryffindor. We were hardly together for much."

"Was Lucius in our class?"

This time it did not escape his attention when Sirius stiffened at the name. "No, he was a few years older."

Ever since he had discovered his hero Lucius Malfoy had attended Hogwarts too, no-one deigned it possible to tell him any more. All he figured out for himself was that Lucius was not popular with his new guardians. Steven did wonder why Lucius never told him about his true identity, however, he wasn't overly concerned about the reason. Instead, he was interested as to when he could meet the enigmatic man on equal grounds as wizards; whenever he asked, he was either told to be patient or ignored outright.

Steven regarded the two men, frowning perceptively. "You don't like him, do you?"

"He's a total g-"

"No, you're right, Severus, we and Lucius are not on very good terms," Remus replied diplomatically, cutting off whatever insult Sirius intended to make.

Steven considered this then announced, "Well, I like him. He was nice to me back home."

Sirius obviously intended to jump in before Remus beat him to it. He smiled gamely. "That's your decision, Severus, I just ask that if you see him, don't feel you have to hide it from us. You can tell us anything."

Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend then glared at the boy. "Go brush your teeth, Sev."

"Why?" complained the child, stunned at his mood change. "It's too early for bed."

The dark-headed man forced himself to relax. "Hey, you want to be alert for tomorrow when all the students come back," he said, his voice mellowing. "You'll get to meet Harry, remember I told you about him?"

Forgetting his defence of Lucius, Steven's typical childish anxieties pushed forth. "The big children, they won't pick on me, will they?"

"'Course not," Sirius assured, "and if they do, they'll have us to deal with."

Suitably heartened by the older man's vehemence, Steven bid Sirius and Remus goodnight before scampering into the bathroom. As he brushed his teeth, he mulled over the conversation, attempting to analyse what was said. Not even Remus, the most amiable person one could hope to meet, could not disguise his dislike of Lucius. Nonetheless, neither man told him why they loathed the other so.

And he couldn't quench the distinct feeling that nice as his new friends at Hogwarts were, they were all hiding something from him. He wasn't too worried though, he'd find out soon enough. One advantage he had was the teachers here dismissed him as a small baby and forgot he heard all and understood everything thanks to his own adult intellect. He would just have to wait for a convenient moment to eavesdrop; one activity he knew adults love to indulge in was gossiping.

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Exhausted from all the day's activity they had crammed in, Severus was in bed and sound asleep by half past nine leaving Remus and Sirius alone to talk. Of course, there were no prizes for guessing what was playing on Sirius' mind. Padfoot was nothing if not predictable.

"I can't believe you sat there and told the kid you thought it was great if he was all chummy with that Malfoy prick," Sirius stated, outraged.

Remus just eased back into the sofa, completely ignoring Sirius' eyes boring into him. "And what would you have me do, Sirius, tell him Malfoy- the first impression Severus had of our world- is a cold blooded monster no better than Voldemort?"

"Yes, dammit!"

Such an approach would have been detrimental. Remus had himself been educated in the ways of attending to spirited, wilful children in his three years of teaching, children much like his friend had once been. He remembered how in their First Year when Dumbledore warned they all the Forbidden Forest was out-of-bounds, Padfoot's first reaction was to launch a plan of exploration. It was only when two Ravenclaw Fourth Years were nearly expelled for wandering into the Forest that he backed down.

Just like Sirius and the Forest, Remus knew they could not allow Malfoy to seem appealing and mysterious by forbidding contact. They could not forcibly make Severus see what Malfoy was like, they'd only succeed in pushing the boy into the Death Eater's hands. Ironic as it was, they had to be careful, just as careful as Malfoy was when he was doing Voldemort's bidding with the boy.

"And what would that have achieved other than to frighten him?"

"Then that's the way it has to be," Sirius stated. "We can't bloody well lie to him."

"So why did you not tell him the truth about what shits we were in school?"

There was a sudden hush. "That's different..." Sirius finally muttered, turning away.

And therein lay the crux of the problem, had Sirius matured enough from the schoolboy he was to be responsible for the child he once loathed with a vengeance? It took much of his effort for Sirius to remember Harry was not James; what chance did he have to recall little Severus was untainted of his previous transgressions? Many times he had heard Padfoot snickering away with Harry and Ron Weasley as he told the boys of the good old days when the Marauders were pranksters of the school, bane of the Slytherin's life. Sirius showed no remorse in how the four of them would target a lone Severus, humiliating him in front of their classmates.

Relations between them had not changed even after a nearly two decade separation, only the balance of power had shifted with Snape on more than equal footing. But that was when he was an adult...With Severus so young and helpless, Remus had to put his needs first just as he would any child and he had to question if his friend, loyal as he was to those close to him, was a suitable foster father to Severus.

"I don't think Severus will think it's different," Remus commented.

Sirius' eyes turned a stormy blue in challenge. "I noticed you never argued with me. You want to go in there and tell him the truth?"

It was easy to see the kid loved Sirius and was starting to see Remus with same hero worship too. He didn't want to spoil the relationship that was building between them. No, let him be a coward, better that than chance destroying Severus' sweet illusions about them.

"He's a child but he's not stupid," Remus said. "You have to careful what you tell him and how you tell him. He's not like Harry, he doesn't have to obey you because you're family. And if he gets into trouble, he won't be as able to get himself out."

"You don't think I'm capable of doing this, do you." It wasn't a question.

Remus sighed at the saddened disenchantment in his friend's voice. "It's not that, Siri...Why *are* you doing this, Padfoot? He's not your son...he's not even your godson. He's not six-year-old Harry, he's Severus Snape. That man who, until a week ago, you always called a 'greasy git'."

"That's just it, Moony, he's not Snape. He's just a kid who needs me." It was Sirius' turn to heave a weary sigh. "I know what it's like, to feel dis-jointed and out of place. Twelve years in Azkaban will do that to a bloke. I can help him, especially when tomorrow he's going to be stared at just as much as I will be...I won't hurt him, Remus, he's a Slytherin but I'd never hurt a kid."

"I know," Remus said, fervently. "I just want you to know if things do get tough, you know you have all our support. You're not in this alone, Severus is a Hogwarts' child and we all look after our own."

And he let go, leaned back and allowed Sirius full control. He would be there to support and guide his friend like all the staff would, however, it was time to let Sirius prove himself of the greatest responsibility given to an Order member.

Remus glanced to the tiny clothes hanging on a coat hanger on the side of the mantelpiece. Severus' school uniform ready for the next day. The previous morning Remus and McGonagall had walked down to Hogsmeade to purchase Severus' impromptu disguise along with other goodies for their young charge. The uniform for infant boys attending Hogsmeade Primary School consisted of khaki shorts, a white shirt, a bottle green jumper and matching bottle green robes. The colours of the school's tie- striped in what could easily pass for Gryffindor red and Slytherin green- were fitting for a Slytherin child being cared for by Gryffindor guardians.

He could only hope and pray the lions would not destroy their youngest cub.

End of CHAPTER SEVEN- Frogs And Snails And Puppy Dog Tails


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Well, I'm not sure if I like this chapter much but I felt I needed to write something about Sirius coping with caring for a child, especially the difficulties a rather irresponsible man like him would find when their freedom to do what they like is disrupted. The quote at the top actually comes from a book set in a baby's POV and the torment he unleashes on his poor parents who think parenthood will be easy! The next chapter we'll definitely see Harry and Draco meet our wee Sev. Please do feel free to tell me what you think either by reviewing or sending an email. I'm really grateful to those of you who have done so already, especially the ones who have been with me from the beginning.