TITLE: One heart beat for every lost day.
AUTHOR: faith_in_Faith
E-MAIL: faith_in_Faith@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: I owe nothing, if I did things would be different. : )
RATING: PG-13
SPOILER: Up to and including season four.
AUTHORS NOTE: Good news everyone! My beta readers are back from their vacation : ) so here you have another chapter! Thanks Jenny we are all very happy you're back, right guys? THANKS all of you for the GREAT reviews!! Thanks to all you faithful one's who have following this from the beginning, thanks all of you who took the time to catch up with it, and thanks all of you who promise me to follow me to the bitter end.you make my writing so much fun! : )
CHAPTER NINETEEN.
Bosco knocked on the door to Faith's apartment and put both his hands back in his jeans pockets. It was almost eight o'clock in the evening and he had spent almost the entire day walking around, thinking. He wished he could turn back time and undo the things he'd done wrong, but he knew it was impossible. He didn't know where to go because he had given up his own apartment, so he was basically homeless. He knew Faith wouldn't let him stay either, because like Anna had said, he had blown it with her too. He knew now that what Faith and Anna had tried to tell him, and what Adam had seen all along, was true. Cruz was a bad cop and he needed Faith's help, because he couldn't bring her down himself. That was the reason why he was standing there right now, that and the fact that Anna had told him to fix things with Faith if he wanted to come back. So here he was outside her door, nervous as hell, hoping that she stilled cared enough about him to help him out. The door opened and he stood face to face with Fred.
"What are you doing here?" Fred asked rudely.
"I need to speak to your wife."
"Why? So you can upset her with more of your bullshit?"
Bosco swallowed hard. "Please, I really need to talk to her."
"Wait here," Fred said and went into the apartment again and closed the door.
The door opened again and Faith appeared in the doorway. "What to you want?"
"I need your help."
"Forget it Bosco."
"Please Faith, I need your help with Cruz, she's."
"I said forget it. I don't care what you've gotten yourself in to this time. I'm not gonna help you. We aren't even partners anymore remember? You lied to me. Partners don't lie to each other. "
" Like you did with the abortion, how you miscarried? "
"You know what Bosco? I don't care. You can accuse me of anything you like. I don't care. We aren't partners anymore and you'll have to fix your problems by yourself, or find someone else to do it. I'm done with you and your stupid screw-ups. I can't do this anymore. It's bad enough that I have to try to explain to two kids who see you as their father, why you're working with a bad cop, make their mom sad and don't care about them anymore!"
"You have the boys?" he asked quietly.
"Yes, I owe Anna everything so I wanted to help her out. I'll take them home tomorrow. Did you two talk?"
"Yeah, she threw me out," Bosco said almost inaudibly.
"Good! Now get out of here. I can't help you. I'm moving on. I have to start thinking of my own family," Faith said coldly.
"Faith please." Bosco pleaded, but she just closed the door in his face.
**************
The next day, 11.04 am:
Anna sat on the couch with her eyes closed. She didn't feel well, not well at all. Her hip was aching and she felt dizzy and weak. She knew she was running a fever again and that it was probably very high, considering the fact that she felt dizzy although she was sitting down. There was a knock on the door and she stood up to answer it. The dizziness immediately overwhelmed her and she dropped back down on the couch again. She put her head between her knees and took deep breaths, willing herself not to pass out. The knock came again and she knew it was Faith and the boys. The question was how she would be able to answer the door, yet alone take care of the boys, when she couldn't even stand without passing out.
Faith frowned and knocked a third time. The fact that Anna didn't answer the door made her feel very worried. Anna had told her on the phone the other day that she hadn't been feeling well lately, and she had looked very pale and tired when Faith picked up the boys yesterday. She also knew that Anna obviously had been so ill, that Bosco had stayed at home to take care of her. All those things together made Faith fear that something had happened to her.
"Anna!" she called out with worry in her voice.
Anna stood up again, slowly and tried hard to fight the dizziness. She managed to make it to the door without passing out, by using the walls for support. She opened the door and leaned heavily against the doorframe. Her vision was blurry and she could hardly see Faith's face. Faith looked at Anna and her worry increased ten times. Anna's cheeks where flushed, her eyes feverish and her forehead was covered with sweat, causing her hair to get damp and curly. She looked like she could pass out in that very moment.
"Anna, are you OK?" she asked worriedly.
Anna didn't answer. Instead her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out. Faith barely managed to catch her in time.
"Shit!" she said.
"MOM!" Samuel and Adam screamed in horror.
Faith carefully eased her down on the floor and put her hand on her forehead.
"Oh Anna, you're burning up," she murmured.
"Faith what's wrong with her? Why did she fall?" Samuel asked anxiously.
"She's very sick honey, but don't you worry. I'll call for the paramedics. They'll take her to the hospital so the doctors can help her, OK?" Faith said, took out her cell phone and called 911.
***********
Faith sat in the waiting room at Angel of Mercy with Samuel and Adam on her lap, and waited for the doctor to come out and tell her what was wrong with Anna. The paramedics had told her that she had woken up in the ambulance and asked for the boys. Faith found that encouraging. Suddenly Dr Thomas stood in the room and looked around.
"Are you a relative to Anna Lewis?" Faith let the boys down on the floor and stood up.
"I'm the one who brought her in. I've called her brother. He'll be here in an hour or so. How's she doing?"
"She's doing pretty well for now. She's conscious and orientated, and has been able to tell us for how long she's been ill and so on, but we are very worried about her condition. She's dehydrated and the infection in her hip is very serious. She should have come here much earlier. The fact that the fever is so high, and even made her lose consciousness, indicates that the infection is working its way into her system and that's very serious too. We're giving her antibiotics and fluid directly in her blood, but if the antibiotics aren't working we might have to operate in order to try to drain the infection."
Faith took a deep breath and asked:
"How serious? Will she ." she glanced at the boy's and then looked at the doctor again. "You know."
Dr Tomas looked gravely at her. " If we can't get control of the infection, I'm afraid that's an option, yeah."
Faith bit her bottom lip. Shit, she thought. Now what was she going to do, with the boys, and Bosco, and everything?
"Can I see her?"
"Sure. We'll move her upstairs in half an hour or so."
Faith took the boys' hands and walked over to the nurses' desk where Nurse Proctor was standing and said:
"Proctor, can you look after Samuel and Adam for a moment? I need to talk to their mother." Proctor nodded.
"But Faith we wanna come too," Adam whined.
Faith crouched down beside him and said: "I know honey and you will. Let me just talk to her first OK?"
"I want Bosco to be here," Samuel said quietly.
Faith cursed under her breath. She wanted to strangle Bosco right there and then. How come I always have to deal with his mess? she thought angrily.
"I know, I know," she said and hugged him. "Let me talk to you mom and then maybe we can call him, OK?"
"OK."
"Good, now be nice to nurse Proctor and I'll be right back," she said and forced a smile at them. They both nodded.
Faith entered Anna's room. Anna was awake and smiled a tiny smile at her. She looked very small and fragile, laying there in the bed with an intravenous drip attached to her. She looked like she was made of glass and could shatter into pieces any moment. The look in her eyes was sad and devastated. Faith couldn't help but thinking about the day at the hospital when she watched Bosco and Anna through the ICU window. Their love had amazed her. She remembered thinking that Anna had the power to destroy Bosco completely because of that love. She hadn't even for a moment thought that it would be the other way around.
"Hi, how are you feeling?" Faith asked and gave her an equally tiny smile.
"Better, they gave me some good drugs for the fever and the pain. So I'm pretty comfortable right now."
Faith nodded. "That's good."
"Look Faith I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble," Anna said apologetically.
"It's OK. Don't think about it. I'm just glad I was there to help. It was a good thing you weren't alone with the boys when it happened."
"I guess you're right. Have you tried to call someone?" she asked anxiously.
"I called Steven. He'll be here in an hour to see you and take care of the boys."
"Did he ask for Bosco?"
"Yeah he did."
"What did you tell him? "
"I told him that he wasn't around because he was trying to sort out some of his problems," Faith said. She wondered why the hell she covered for an asshole who thought she was a bad mother, cheated on his girlfriend and rather had Cruz for a partner than her.
"Did he buy it?"
"I think so."
"Good and thanks," Anna said and looked relieved. Faith nodded.
"No problem. Do you want me to call Bosco?"
"No."
"Anna, please I think he has the right to know. You're seriously ill. Dr Thomas said you could." her voice trailed off when she realized that that probably wasn't something that Anna should know.
"Die?" Anna asked with a smile. "Don't worry I know that. I'm a nurse remember? If I get that much worse you can call him, but until then just leave it be, please," she said pleadingly.
"OK," Faith said quietly. Suddenly they heard Steven's worried voice from the hallway.
"I'd better be going. See you soon, and please Anna get better soon OK?"
"I'll try," she said and smiled sadly.
**************
Four days later:
Steven gently wiped away the sweat on Anna's forehead with a cold washcloth. She didn't respond at all. She had drifted in and out of unconsciousness the past two days, and now it seemed like she got worse for every hour. Steven was desperate. He didn't know what to do. She didn't seem to have any fighting spirit left at all. Nothing he said or did seem to make any difference, and he knew all to well what she needed: Bosco. He, of course, wasn't around. That idiot never was when she needed him the most. All the years Steven had spent dealing with the relationship between Anna and Bosco told him that Bosco had screwed up again, probably big time. He knew it because Anna didn't want him to try to find Bosco for her. All she'd ever asked for almost her whole life was Bosco. Now she didn't even want to talk about him. Suddenly Dr Mallow stood in the doorway, looking gravely at him.
"Mr. Brown we need to talk."
"OK," he said trying to keep his fear out of his voice.
"Let's take it outside." Steven felt his heart skip a beat. He kissed Anna's forehead and whispered, " I'll be right back," before he followed the doctor out into the hallway. He leaned against the wall and looked questioningly at the doctor.
" Mr. Brown I'm very concerned about your sister. The antibiotics don't help and she is in a very critical condition right now. The infection has worked its way into her system and she's suffering from a sepsis or what we also call blood poisoning. I can't promise you she will make it through this."
Steven felt like someone had stabbed him with a knife. He couldn't breathe. This couldn't be true. She couldn't die. The boys needed her. He needed her, and he knew another idiot who didn't deserve her, but never the less, needed her too.
"But.but you told me when you operated on her two days ago that draining the infection would help," he stammered.
"I'm sorry Mr. Brown, I really am. That was what we thought, but I think it was too late. The infection was already too serious. All we can do now is to once again try a different sort of antibiotics and hope it will help, and pray that she's strong enough to fight this on her own."
Steven closed his eyes tightly and started to pray to God harder than ever before. He felt the doctor's hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Mr. Brown, I really am." Steven nodded somberly. He knew what he had to do. He had to find Bosco before it was too late.
***************
Later that day:
"Faith please!" Bosco pleaded, and the despair was evident both in his eyes and in his voice. They were standing outside the precinct and he was once again pleading with her to help him to bring Cruz down.
"No," Faith said coldly. "I told you she was no good. I told you she was trouble. You wouldn't listen. Instead you accused me of all sorts of things, like being jealous and things I don't even want to repeat. You made your bed, now sleep in it!!"
"Please Faith you have to help me just one more time. It will be the last one. I promise you. If you help me, I'll do anything you want. I'll leave. I'll transfer to another precinct if you want me to, just help me one more time."
"Why me, Bosco? Why is it always me?"
"Because you're the only one, Faith. I don't have anyone else."
Faith ran her hand through her hair in frustration and said sadly:
"No Bosco, not this time," and turned and left.
When she walked back into the precinct she heard the conversation between her and Anna in her head:
"She's destroying it, you know, our friendship."
"Don't let her. He'll be back. I promise."
And then "If you could stop him from getting himself killed that would be great."
She sighed. She knew she had to help him, because he was back with her and Anna needed him alive, not dead. Faith knew that. She had seen the lost and lonely look in Anna's eyes. She had seen her lack of fighting spirit. Anna was lost without Bosco, and Faith knew that no matter how much she hated it, so was she.
AUTHOR: faith_in_Faith
E-MAIL: faith_in_Faith@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: I owe nothing, if I did things would be different. : )
RATING: PG-13
SPOILER: Up to and including season four.
AUTHORS NOTE: Good news everyone! My beta readers are back from their vacation : ) so here you have another chapter! Thanks Jenny we are all very happy you're back, right guys? THANKS all of you for the GREAT reviews!! Thanks to all you faithful one's who have following this from the beginning, thanks all of you who took the time to catch up with it, and thanks all of you who promise me to follow me to the bitter end.you make my writing so much fun! : )
CHAPTER NINETEEN.
Bosco knocked on the door to Faith's apartment and put both his hands back in his jeans pockets. It was almost eight o'clock in the evening and he had spent almost the entire day walking around, thinking. He wished he could turn back time and undo the things he'd done wrong, but he knew it was impossible. He didn't know where to go because he had given up his own apartment, so he was basically homeless. He knew Faith wouldn't let him stay either, because like Anna had said, he had blown it with her too. He knew now that what Faith and Anna had tried to tell him, and what Adam had seen all along, was true. Cruz was a bad cop and he needed Faith's help, because he couldn't bring her down himself. That was the reason why he was standing there right now, that and the fact that Anna had told him to fix things with Faith if he wanted to come back. So here he was outside her door, nervous as hell, hoping that she stilled cared enough about him to help him out. The door opened and he stood face to face with Fred.
"What are you doing here?" Fred asked rudely.
"I need to speak to your wife."
"Why? So you can upset her with more of your bullshit?"
Bosco swallowed hard. "Please, I really need to talk to her."
"Wait here," Fred said and went into the apartment again and closed the door.
The door opened again and Faith appeared in the doorway. "What to you want?"
"I need your help."
"Forget it Bosco."
"Please Faith, I need your help with Cruz, she's."
"I said forget it. I don't care what you've gotten yourself in to this time. I'm not gonna help you. We aren't even partners anymore remember? You lied to me. Partners don't lie to each other. "
" Like you did with the abortion, how you miscarried? "
"You know what Bosco? I don't care. You can accuse me of anything you like. I don't care. We aren't partners anymore and you'll have to fix your problems by yourself, or find someone else to do it. I'm done with you and your stupid screw-ups. I can't do this anymore. It's bad enough that I have to try to explain to two kids who see you as their father, why you're working with a bad cop, make their mom sad and don't care about them anymore!"
"You have the boys?" he asked quietly.
"Yes, I owe Anna everything so I wanted to help her out. I'll take them home tomorrow. Did you two talk?"
"Yeah, she threw me out," Bosco said almost inaudibly.
"Good! Now get out of here. I can't help you. I'm moving on. I have to start thinking of my own family," Faith said coldly.
"Faith please." Bosco pleaded, but she just closed the door in his face.
**************
The next day, 11.04 am:
Anna sat on the couch with her eyes closed. She didn't feel well, not well at all. Her hip was aching and she felt dizzy and weak. She knew she was running a fever again and that it was probably very high, considering the fact that she felt dizzy although she was sitting down. There was a knock on the door and she stood up to answer it. The dizziness immediately overwhelmed her and she dropped back down on the couch again. She put her head between her knees and took deep breaths, willing herself not to pass out. The knock came again and she knew it was Faith and the boys. The question was how she would be able to answer the door, yet alone take care of the boys, when she couldn't even stand without passing out.
Faith frowned and knocked a third time. The fact that Anna didn't answer the door made her feel very worried. Anna had told her on the phone the other day that she hadn't been feeling well lately, and she had looked very pale and tired when Faith picked up the boys yesterday. She also knew that Anna obviously had been so ill, that Bosco had stayed at home to take care of her. All those things together made Faith fear that something had happened to her.
"Anna!" she called out with worry in her voice.
Anna stood up again, slowly and tried hard to fight the dizziness. She managed to make it to the door without passing out, by using the walls for support. She opened the door and leaned heavily against the doorframe. Her vision was blurry and she could hardly see Faith's face. Faith looked at Anna and her worry increased ten times. Anna's cheeks where flushed, her eyes feverish and her forehead was covered with sweat, causing her hair to get damp and curly. She looked like she could pass out in that very moment.
"Anna, are you OK?" she asked worriedly.
Anna didn't answer. Instead her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out. Faith barely managed to catch her in time.
"Shit!" she said.
"MOM!" Samuel and Adam screamed in horror.
Faith carefully eased her down on the floor and put her hand on her forehead.
"Oh Anna, you're burning up," she murmured.
"Faith what's wrong with her? Why did she fall?" Samuel asked anxiously.
"She's very sick honey, but don't you worry. I'll call for the paramedics. They'll take her to the hospital so the doctors can help her, OK?" Faith said, took out her cell phone and called 911.
***********
Faith sat in the waiting room at Angel of Mercy with Samuel and Adam on her lap, and waited for the doctor to come out and tell her what was wrong with Anna. The paramedics had told her that she had woken up in the ambulance and asked for the boys. Faith found that encouraging. Suddenly Dr Thomas stood in the room and looked around.
"Are you a relative to Anna Lewis?" Faith let the boys down on the floor and stood up.
"I'm the one who brought her in. I've called her brother. He'll be here in an hour or so. How's she doing?"
"She's doing pretty well for now. She's conscious and orientated, and has been able to tell us for how long she's been ill and so on, but we are very worried about her condition. She's dehydrated and the infection in her hip is very serious. She should have come here much earlier. The fact that the fever is so high, and even made her lose consciousness, indicates that the infection is working its way into her system and that's very serious too. We're giving her antibiotics and fluid directly in her blood, but if the antibiotics aren't working we might have to operate in order to try to drain the infection."
Faith took a deep breath and asked:
"How serious? Will she ." she glanced at the boy's and then looked at the doctor again. "You know."
Dr Tomas looked gravely at her. " If we can't get control of the infection, I'm afraid that's an option, yeah."
Faith bit her bottom lip. Shit, she thought. Now what was she going to do, with the boys, and Bosco, and everything?
"Can I see her?"
"Sure. We'll move her upstairs in half an hour or so."
Faith took the boys' hands and walked over to the nurses' desk where Nurse Proctor was standing and said:
"Proctor, can you look after Samuel and Adam for a moment? I need to talk to their mother." Proctor nodded.
"But Faith we wanna come too," Adam whined.
Faith crouched down beside him and said: "I know honey and you will. Let me just talk to her first OK?"
"I want Bosco to be here," Samuel said quietly.
Faith cursed under her breath. She wanted to strangle Bosco right there and then. How come I always have to deal with his mess? she thought angrily.
"I know, I know," she said and hugged him. "Let me talk to you mom and then maybe we can call him, OK?"
"OK."
"Good, now be nice to nurse Proctor and I'll be right back," she said and forced a smile at them. They both nodded.
Faith entered Anna's room. Anna was awake and smiled a tiny smile at her. She looked very small and fragile, laying there in the bed with an intravenous drip attached to her. She looked like she was made of glass and could shatter into pieces any moment. The look in her eyes was sad and devastated. Faith couldn't help but thinking about the day at the hospital when she watched Bosco and Anna through the ICU window. Their love had amazed her. She remembered thinking that Anna had the power to destroy Bosco completely because of that love. She hadn't even for a moment thought that it would be the other way around.
"Hi, how are you feeling?" Faith asked and gave her an equally tiny smile.
"Better, they gave me some good drugs for the fever and the pain. So I'm pretty comfortable right now."
Faith nodded. "That's good."
"Look Faith I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble," Anna said apologetically.
"It's OK. Don't think about it. I'm just glad I was there to help. It was a good thing you weren't alone with the boys when it happened."
"I guess you're right. Have you tried to call someone?" she asked anxiously.
"I called Steven. He'll be here in an hour to see you and take care of the boys."
"Did he ask for Bosco?"
"Yeah he did."
"What did you tell him? "
"I told him that he wasn't around because he was trying to sort out some of his problems," Faith said. She wondered why the hell she covered for an asshole who thought she was a bad mother, cheated on his girlfriend and rather had Cruz for a partner than her.
"Did he buy it?"
"I think so."
"Good and thanks," Anna said and looked relieved. Faith nodded.
"No problem. Do you want me to call Bosco?"
"No."
"Anna, please I think he has the right to know. You're seriously ill. Dr Thomas said you could." her voice trailed off when she realized that that probably wasn't something that Anna should know.
"Die?" Anna asked with a smile. "Don't worry I know that. I'm a nurse remember? If I get that much worse you can call him, but until then just leave it be, please," she said pleadingly.
"OK," Faith said quietly. Suddenly they heard Steven's worried voice from the hallway.
"I'd better be going. See you soon, and please Anna get better soon OK?"
"I'll try," she said and smiled sadly.
**************
Four days later:
Steven gently wiped away the sweat on Anna's forehead with a cold washcloth. She didn't respond at all. She had drifted in and out of unconsciousness the past two days, and now it seemed like she got worse for every hour. Steven was desperate. He didn't know what to do. She didn't seem to have any fighting spirit left at all. Nothing he said or did seem to make any difference, and he knew all to well what she needed: Bosco. He, of course, wasn't around. That idiot never was when she needed him the most. All the years Steven had spent dealing with the relationship between Anna and Bosco told him that Bosco had screwed up again, probably big time. He knew it because Anna didn't want him to try to find Bosco for her. All she'd ever asked for almost her whole life was Bosco. Now she didn't even want to talk about him. Suddenly Dr Mallow stood in the doorway, looking gravely at him.
"Mr. Brown we need to talk."
"OK," he said trying to keep his fear out of his voice.
"Let's take it outside." Steven felt his heart skip a beat. He kissed Anna's forehead and whispered, " I'll be right back," before he followed the doctor out into the hallway. He leaned against the wall and looked questioningly at the doctor.
" Mr. Brown I'm very concerned about your sister. The antibiotics don't help and she is in a very critical condition right now. The infection has worked its way into her system and she's suffering from a sepsis or what we also call blood poisoning. I can't promise you she will make it through this."
Steven felt like someone had stabbed him with a knife. He couldn't breathe. This couldn't be true. She couldn't die. The boys needed her. He needed her, and he knew another idiot who didn't deserve her, but never the less, needed her too.
"But.but you told me when you operated on her two days ago that draining the infection would help," he stammered.
"I'm sorry Mr. Brown, I really am. That was what we thought, but I think it was too late. The infection was already too serious. All we can do now is to once again try a different sort of antibiotics and hope it will help, and pray that she's strong enough to fight this on her own."
Steven closed his eyes tightly and started to pray to God harder than ever before. He felt the doctor's hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Mr. Brown, I really am." Steven nodded somberly. He knew what he had to do. He had to find Bosco before it was too late.
***************
Later that day:
"Faith please!" Bosco pleaded, and the despair was evident both in his eyes and in his voice. They were standing outside the precinct and he was once again pleading with her to help him to bring Cruz down.
"No," Faith said coldly. "I told you she was no good. I told you she was trouble. You wouldn't listen. Instead you accused me of all sorts of things, like being jealous and things I don't even want to repeat. You made your bed, now sleep in it!!"
"Please Faith you have to help me just one more time. It will be the last one. I promise you. If you help me, I'll do anything you want. I'll leave. I'll transfer to another precinct if you want me to, just help me one more time."
"Why me, Bosco? Why is it always me?"
"Because you're the only one, Faith. I don't have anyone else."
Faith ran her hand through her hair in frustration and said sadly:
"No Bosco, not this time," and turned and left.
When she walked back into the precinct she heard the conversation between her and Anna in her head:
"She's destroying it, you know, our friendship."
"Don't let her. He'll be back. I promise."
And then "If you could stop him from getting himself killed that would be great."
She sighed. She knew she had to help him, because he was back with her and Anna needed him alive, not dead. Faith knew that. She had seen the lost and lonely look in Anna's eyes. She had seen her lack of fighting spirit. Anna was lost without Bosco, and Faith knew that no matter how much she hated it, so was she.