The Burdens of Childhood
by Mel (email me at cosmic_quest@yahoo.com)
CHAPTER TEN- Home Truths
"Are you out of your mind?! Do you *like* people to think you've got a screw loose?!"
"Now, young man," Minerva scolded as if talking to one of her First Years, "there is no need for a tantrum."
"Oh, I think there is."
Apparently, Darien Storm- the American Auror assigned by his Council to Severus' case- was not impressed by whom they had placed the little Potions Master with until the stiuation could be rectified. Too loyal to Albus to oppose him openly, Minerva did have to silently agree with Storm's stance. Sirius Black was hardly one's ideal vision of a foster parent although she had to admit the man had coped rather well with Severus over the past fortnight.
Storm had abandoned his chair in the Headmaster's office to pace, his face more than clearly expressing his sheer disbelief at the situation. "I permitted you to take the boy from our country assuring Montliskeard and the Council you'd have him placed with a decent foster family or someone who at least didn't have a term in Azkaban on their resume. Nobody in their right mind places one of the most powerful wizards this century in the hands of a nut. You might as well gift-wrap the boy and send him off to Voldemort for Christmas."
"Sirius was acquitted
of all murder charges!" Remus immediatly exclaimed when it apparent
Sirius was too hurt by the American's attack on him to defend himself.
"I'm not denying that,"
Storm replied, unperturbed by the other's near violent retort, "but
twelve years in Azkaban does not make for the sanest mind, does it?
That's the way the lawyers will see it. You need to be careful
how you proceed now if you wish to maintain contact with the boy.
If this condition is to be permanant and Snape is grow up once
more there will be issues raised as to where he will be located."
"You Yanks are going
to try and get him back?" Sirius sneered.
It did not escape
Minerva's attention the way Albus, Sirius and Remus simultaneously
bristled at the very thought of Severus being spirited back to America.
She knew better than to expect any other reaction from the former
two; the Headmaster was very enarmoured with the concept of this second
chance of 'saving' Severus from himself before he could be stained by
the Dark Mark and Sirius was too stubborn to give in, to realize there
was no shame in letting go for the boy's sake.
However, she had hoped
Remus would see the logic in perhaps sending Severus to a place which
could provide him shelter from Voldemort's grasp. While it was too
late to salvage Harry's innocence, it did not mean they had to comdemn
another young boy to a life of fear and turmoil. At least in America,
where Voldemort's influence had yet to properly stretch, Severus would
be safe.
Yet Minerva could not
muster any sense of disappointment that Remus didn't see this, he was only
human. She had seen how close he had grown to young Severus, surprisingly
settling back into the role of uncle and leaving the disciplining and
general parenting to Sirius. It wasn't hard to enjoy Severus, of course,
he was an adorable child and she too had to force herself to remember
he was not a grandchild but her colleague.
She could only hope
that when push came to shove, she would have the strength- where Albus
might not have- to put Severus' needs first even if it meant sending
him to another continenant.
"Not 'try', the Council
will persue this and if the Ministry refuses they'll take
this to the International Committee of Magic and they'll win."
Storm sighed. "I don't mean to be on your case about this, I don't think
you're good people and the kid is obviously happy here. I just want
you to know how it is, that you're being watched."
That was one of Sirius'
main flaws; he always viewed matters in black and white, as one or another.
It probably had never occured to him that while Harry was important
to the Wizarding World, at least within the Europe, he was not the only
one with great power. Why, even confining to Harry's year group, Minerva
could easily see that if it had not been for the boy's connection to
Voldemort, it would have been Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy who would
have garnered the most interest as magically gifted.
"Read your history, Black," scorned the American Auror.
"It took me all of an hour to see Snape's mother descended from
one of the oldest mage families of the Ancient Wizarding World. I know
Potter is your godson and all but surely even you see that his flare
of powers are directly linked to Voldemort. Snape, on the other hand,
is powerful on his own merit with the abilities to become a great Auror...or
a most trecherous Dark Lord."
Both Sirius and Remus turned
startled eyes to the Headmaster. As usual, it was the former who voiced,
"Is this true?"
They could all hear what he was really asking was, 'Did the boy I once tormented have the potential to wipe out half the school on a whim of a thought?'
Albus sighed. "Yes, Severus
is indeed one of the most accomplished wizards Hogwarts had ever produced.
If we were to actively rank our children, he would fall into the same
banding as myself, Voldemort, Grindenwald, Harry and Merlin."
"Then why the hell did you
not...I don't know, do something with him?! God, you and he could have taken
Voldemort out years ago then we wouldn't be in this bloody mess in the first
place!"
"Cassius Snape was firmly
entrenched in the Dark Arts, Mr Black," Minerva pointed out. She felt
compelled to defend Albus even despite her own misgivings of how they
failed Severus the first time. The whole situation was not entirely the
Headmaster's fault; they all placed him on a pedestal he was but a man who
did the best he could in a school where nearly three hundred children and
fifteen staff looked to him for guidance. "Would you have the Headmaster show
him just how powerful his son was so he could groom a second Dark Lord
for us?"
And there would be no little
baby to destroy if he had chosen such a devestating path.
"But you are right, Sirius,"
Albus admitted with a heavy-heart, "I *should* have done more
for him. In a bid to make him blend in with the other children so no-one
would realize his true potential, I went too far in that direction and
alienated him from me and from most of the staff. We ended up losing him
as a student because I thought I knew best."
There was awkward silence
at the damning confession, Sirius and Remus no doubt astonished to hear
their vaunted Headmaster was falliable after all. Minerva glanced sideways
to see Storm smirking, enjoying the show. What an impudent young urchin!
Before Minerva could rebuke him, Remus scowled darkly at him. "How do you know all this about Snape and Harry? I thought it was confidential."
Storm laughed sardonically. "You have your Order of the Phoenix but don't think we're not prepared either. If you fall, if you fail to contain Voldmort, it's likely his following will spread and so we will step up to finish what you began. That was the terms of agreement our two organisations made, in return for information we be ready to assist you if things went seriously wrong with the Voldemort situation...And now this young Severus Snape has significantly made things stickier for you people. A second Dark Lord all ripe for the picking if you don't do right by him."
"And you Americans
are willing to take him from our hands out of the goodness of your heart?"
Minerva asked, tartly.
"Hell, no! Politicians
are the same worldwide- always on the look out what's in it for them.
The way they figure it a happy, well-adjusted baby Sev raised back in
Cal will grow into happy, well-adjusted Auror at the Council's disposal."
"Be that as it may,"
Albus said, curtly, "there will be no attempts to contest custody while
there is still a chance Severus can be restored to his rightful age."
"How is that going,
Headmaster?" Remus queried. "Have St Mungo's made any progress?"
Albus shook his head.
"So far, the Healers and curse-breakers are quite at a loss. Apparently,
as it was not just Severus' body affect but his mind also, they anticipate
major problems aligning his six-year-old consciousness with his adult mind.
If they act too hastily, Severus may experience episodes where he vacillates
between thinking like a child and thinking like an adult."
It was a sobering
thought. It was hard for six-year-old Severus to be lumbered with so much
knowledge when he was still so immature but Minerva couldn't imagine a worse
fate for the adult Severus, always so quick-witted and sharp, to be reduced
to the mental age of a small child.
"Well, they had better
work quicker," Storm interjected, "Lucius Malfoy has been making so inquiries
about custodial rights to Severus and he presents a very good case."
Sirius jerked up in
his chair. "You have to be kidding? Who in their right mind would give
a kid to a slimy Death Eater like Malfoy?"
"Maybe the same people
who have a kid to a sanctimonious ex-convict like you," Storm muttered,
under his breath.
Eyes flashing dangerously, Sirius made to strike against the American
until his actions were stalled by a stern warning. "Sirius, sit back down,"
the Headmaster ordered in a tone not be disobeyed. Once the reluctant younger
man dropped back in his seat, Albus turned a cool glare to Storm. "Why
would the Council allow Lucius Malfoy to have access to Severus?"
"There is no evidence
to say Malfoy is remains a Death Eater, only hearsay. He's a pillar of
the community, affluent with a wife and son."
Difficult as it was,
Minerva had to see the Council's point of view. To them, Malfoy seemed
like an ideal foster parent in comparison to the errant Sirius Black who
remained a pariah of the general wizarding world since the Ministry only
grudgingly admitted the case against him was a miscarriage of justice.
However, whatever Malfoy fashioned himself to appear, he was a thoroughly
evil man and she would whole-heartedly do anything to prevent Severus from
leaving the safety of Hogwarts.
"The boy is happy
here at Hogwarts, with many positive role models surrounding him," Minerva
said. "Why take him from all that he has here?"
"The boy is a Slytherin
and Hogwarts has a disturbing trend for producing Slytherin dark wizards,"
Storm replied soberly, all traces of humour gone. "This century
alone, Europe has seen two Dark Lords both hailing from a Slytherin background
at this school."
"You can't blame Hogwarts
for people turning bloody barmy in the head," Sirius sneered.
"You need to treat carefully
in this, see the big picture. To you, Voldemort is evil personified.
But some see him differently; Tom Riddle was not some spoilt
little pureblood acting out Daddy's dreams. He was an abused
Muggleborn orphan not unlike Harry Potter and little Snape.
And now he's responsible from turning three generations of Slytherin students
to his cause."
"You don't seem to be catching on here- Slytherins are evil," came the unasked for commentary from the usual cuprit, Sirius Black. "It's simple as that."
"Malfoy said it was this
high-and-mighty Gryffindor attitude which led Snape and kids like him to
Voldemort in the first place. In fact, he has actually presented some evidence
to the Council to. In Snape's case, Malfoy personally attested that as
a schoolboy, Snape was the victim of severe bullying by a group of Gryffindor
boys and you, Principal, did nothing."
Sirius and Remus fidgeted
in their chairs, Albus' blue eyes losing their characteristic twinkle. Minerva
herself felt could not pretrend she wasn't perturbed by the accusations.
She might have been Head of Gryffindor House but that didn't mean she had
no duty to students of the other Houses. And if there ever was a child who
needed the extra attention, it was Severus. She would never truly forget
the tiny Slytherin boy, thin as a rake with dulled dark eyes. It was frightening
to think what- or who- was responsible for turning the happy six-year-old
they were meeting now to the dispirited eleven-year-old they met twenty-odd
years ago.
She did know who, in part, was responsible for turning that First Year
to the Death Eaters, quite simply the blame rested not only on the teachers
but the Maruaders and the children who encouraged them. It was a lesson
in the dreadful consquences of placing four adolescent boys on pedestals
and allowed them to continue the delusion they were above rules; she was
just thankful that Harry, a boy who could so easily have grown equally as
cocky as young James and his friends, carried himself with more humility
and was grounded by his friendship with the sensible Hermione Granger.
"One story stuck out
most," Storm commented, unaware, or perhaps, ignoring the discomfiture
of his hosts, "Malfoy had no direct proof of this so I can't bring myself
to believe such a thing could happen in a school like this, but something
about werewolves and a murder attempt."
An unnatural silence
descended in the office and Storm shook his head, stunned, as he correctly
read the thick guilt atmosphere suffocating them.
"It wasn't attempted
murder," Sirius protested immediatly, for once almost remorseful, "it was
meant to be a joke."
"I can't believe it..."
Storm trailed off. "I can't say I'm surprised to hear *you* were
the one responsible." He eyed Remus. "And I suppose you were the werewolf
in question?"
When Remus nodded with
a touch of self-loathing, Albus jumped in to explain everything. Minerva was
proud he made no attempts this time to colour the appalling Shrieking Shack
event of two decades ago with excuses of Sirius' age or lack of real intent
to harm.
"I can't believe it,"
Storm repeated in disgusted wonder, "I can't believe this sort of thing
happened in Hogwarts, the 'model' school of the Western Wizarding World.
And I can't believe teachers were actually in on it. If it had been me,
I would have reported Black and Lupin to the Ministry that very night then
petitioned the governors to remove you," he glared at Albus, "from a position
you're obviously not fit to hold if you can't even punish someone from nearly
killing a kid."
It was difficult hearing
the cold, harsh truth from the mouth of an outsider who made no effort
to sugar-coat the story. It was particularly gratifying to see Sirius pale
as he realized that Severus could easily have destroyed not only his life
but also Remus and Albus'. That another person, a strong person with more
self-confidence and self-esteem, would have pressed the matter right to
the heart of the Ministry almost certainly resulting in Remus' imprisonment,
if not execution.
"We cannot change
the past," Albus replied, sorrow deadening his voice.
"No," Storm conceded,
"but because of your actions in the past, you may find you have no say
in this boy's future."
"It was me, okay?
It was me. I didn't want to kill Snape, I just wanted to scare him but I
did it, I sent him to Remus that night and I knew exactly what I was doing.
I never thought how much it would haunt us all- me, Remy...Severus."
Minerva had never
once heard Sirius ever admit full cupability for his so-called prank, not
once in all these years. Everyone was taken aback by the forceful confession.
Even Remus seemed to be experiencing a mix of pride and anger.
"Just..." Sirius inhaled
deeply, "just don't let Malfoy get away with hurting the kid because of
something I did. Please..."
There was silence for
a moment and Storm nodded. "I'll see what I can do in pressing your case.
But you do need to accept that Malfoy may yet get a chance to at least see
the boy."
"But until we have
one hundred percent proof that there is no counter-curse to Severus' condition,
he remains in our custody," Albus pointed out in relief. "He is, after all,
being cared for by Sirius Black and he is safe here at Hogwarts. There
are plenty of responsible and caring people like Sirius here to look after
the boy."
Sirius' preening was
cut short by Storm's amused snort. "Responsible, you say? Then why the
hell is there a six-year-old out there on a broom stick?!"
As one, everyone's
eyes darted to the window where sure enough little Severus was merrily
bobbing around on one of the school's broomsticks, waving to the stunned
on-lookers on the ground below him.
"I'm going to kill
him slowly and painfully," Sirius muttered, dashing out the door.
*************************
Sirius found making
Severus stand in the corner for ten minutes was a far suitably punishment
that killing the errant child outright, especially when McGongall reminded
him of his own dangerous adventures in youth and inquired how old (or rather
how young) he was when *he* hijacked a broomstick.
For Harry's part, while a part of him was almost proud of Severus' control
on the broomstick given his age, he was still amazed by the chill that enveloped
him when he saw the kid alone and unaided high in the sky. He looked so tiny
and how easily he could have fell, killing him instantly.
Harry never would have
imagined the day would come when he would be so worried over his Potions Master.
His heart had been in his mouth as he had watched, with half of the equally
worried school, Sirius and Madam Hooch soar to the air to bring Severus down.
And he'd felt an intense mix of anger and relief at the fact Hooch had left
a broom stick so easily accessable to Severus and that the boy had ridiculousy
decided he was 'nearly' eleven and therefore perfectly able to fly.
"That was scary today,
wasn't it?" Harry murmured, unable to pry his eyes away from an oblivious
Severus, who was happily playing in the corner with his chess pieces.
Sirius gazed up from
his nightly task of preparing the three of them hot chocolate. "It was terrifying,
I didn't think being a parent was such hard work. I was ready for the whole
'getting ready for bed and disciplining' thing but seeing him up on that broomstick,"
he shook his head, "Merlin, the last time I felt like that was when that
bitch of a cousin of mine was trying to kill you."
The boy shivered at
the memory, forcing it to the back of his mind where it could only haunt him
in his nightmares.
"I never thought that
flying could be so dangerous," Sirius mused. He cast a surveying glance to
Harry. "In fact, I wonder if Quidditch is such a good thing after all."
"Sirius..." Harry pleaded,
hoping his godfather was not going to cluck after him like a second mother.
As he had pointed out previously, he already had Mrs Weasley to worry over
him and that was enough. Besides, it was ludicrous to worry over a Quidditch
accident befalling him when he had Voldemort stalking him since he turned
eleven.
His godfather smiling,
shrugging at Harry's complaint. "Just be grateful it's me and not your dad.
He was a right worry wort, I don't think he would have let you see a broomstick
let alone play Quidditch."
"Really? My dad?"
"You bet, I remember
the day your mum brought you home from St Mungos when you were
born. You were all of six days old and he wanted to rein you into
your pram in case you tried to climb out."
Harry smiled at the
story. He had heard so many tales of his father's schooldays, he ironically
found it difficult to imagine James Potter as anything other than a mischievious
schoolboy rather than, well, his father He found that as much as he liked
hearing of his father's childhood, he much preferred to hear of the man he
grew into and the husband and father he became.
"You want to keep him,
don't you?"
Before Sirius seemed
to be treating the whole situation like a game, out to prove to himself and
others that Azkaban had not completely destroyed him and he was capable of
fatherhood as any other. It was only when Harry had caught a glimpse of his
godfather's face when Severus nearly slipped from the broomstick mid-flight
that he realized the last time he had seen such fright was when Mrs Weasley
had been reunited with her children after that terrifying night at the Ministry
in June. The same frightened features only witnessed on a panic-striken parent.
Sirius tilted his head, his face unusually sober for such a mischievious
man. "Yes, yes I do...Actually, I'm starting to wish they won't find a counter-curse
re for him, I don't want to lose him, especially not to Snape." He snorted
grimly. "Doesn't that sound so crazy and selfish?"
With the growing perception
of impending adulthood, Harry had to admit that while it was selfish to force
upon Snape this childhood without his consent, if no obvious cure then why
put too much energy into searching for one? Many times Harry yearned for a
second chance childhood, an opportunity to be raised by people who loved him
without worrying about Voldemort or hateful relations. From what he heard
of Snape's real childhood, he was willing to bet that although the man who
never have admitted it openly, he too probably wanted a chance to escape the
abuse of his parents and the mark of being a Death Eater.
Besides, didn't little Severus have a right to continue to live? If they found a way to change him back, this kid would be gone despite now evolving into being a person in his own right.
"I think if there was a
cure, they would have found it by now," Harry said. "It's good to be preparing
for his future."
This seemed to reasssure
Sirius, who smiled. "Yeah, I suppose it is. Would you mind if I applied for
adoption?"
Harry frowned. "Why would
I mind? I think it'd be brilliant...We'd be a family."
"I'd probably have to move
to the States, those bloody Yanks won't allow him to stay here until he is
of age to go to a wizarding secondary school." Before Harry could panic, Sirius
continued, "It would be a good move for all of us. You'd be able to spend
the summer in a place Voldemort dare not enter yet and where no-one would
know who we are."
Now that sounded like Heaven.
He long since grown weary of his status as the Boy Who Lived; to live in a
place without that burden, if only for a couple of months in the year, was
a wonderful thought.
For the rest of the evening,
as he and Sirius sprawled on the floor with Severus indulging in the boy's
pleas to play with him, Harry's mind was working over-time on plans for the
next summer and his new family. His odd, jumbled family made up of a boy hero,
an ex-prisoner and the oldest child on the planet, but his family nonetheless.
Little did he realize, he would soon be learning the meaning of the old Muggle adage, 'never count one's chickens before they hatch'.
End of CHAPTER TEN- Home Truths
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm really sorry this took so long to get out, especially after all the wonderful
reviews you have all sent me. I was nearly finished when my computer decided
to have a 'serious error' and that was the one time I never saved (the moral
is save your stuff every five minutes!). Anyway, this chapter is a
bit crap, mainly because I needed to explain why Sev might so sought after
yet if I was to add it to the next chapter, it would end up far too long.
Chapter eleven promises to be much better as our favourite Death Eater pays
a visit to the school and the news he has does not make Sirius and co smile!
As we are now about half-way through the whole
story, I think I'll take the opportunity to ask what you guys would prefer-
Sev to stay a child or for him to grow up? I've got scenerios in my mind
which will take us in either direction, and at the moment I am leaning in
one direction (I won't tell you which!) but I would appreciate to hear what
you'd like.
