At this point I will just be dedicating this fic to T Swift's album Midnight's (3am Version) Enjoy!
Of Dates and Sweet Nothings
Thursday came and went. Hermione didn't hear from Malfoy so she decided not to bother him. The articles came out and she received letters and Howlers; she could only imagine what Malfoy received. However, many letters she opened had been outraged at the Ministry. Their plan was working; they needed to fan the flames and direct the outrage now. Outrage, she bitterly thought, that should have existed from the beginning.
Hermione fell into a fitful sleep, plagued with her familiar troop of nightmares.
Friday morning, she decided to go into the office to review some prospective client cases; she couldn't just sit around her house for an entire day again, waiting for a man who may never show up. Her desire to be productive was pointless, though. All she could think about was why Malfoy was blowing her off. They were meant to be a happy couple but instead he was avoiding her.
Hermione scowled at her own ridiculous train of thought. She was a successful woman with her own company and here she was fretting because a stupid boy hadn't owled. Merlin, what was wrong with her?
A knock on her door after hours startled her. She looked up to be greeted by the too-amused face of Malfoy, looking far too fit leaning against her doorway. Worse yet was the swooping feeling she noted in her traitorous stomach. Without invitation, he pushed off the door frame and stepped into her office, closing the door behind him. Crossing the room in three steps, he proceeded to lean over her desk, grab a kerchief from his pocket, and wipe her cheek.
"You are still so much like the girl I remember in the library, chewing on the end of her quill, staring down the parchment before her with the intensity of a thousand suns, and ink smudges littering her face." This startling confession made her heart skip a beat. "I wanted to Scourgify your face back then and, of course, make some ill-conceived quip about your dirty blood. The caveat being that acknowledging you was beneath me. I couldn't really admit even to myself that I knew more about your habits than most because I spent so much time watching you, hating you, and myself. I say all of this to apologize. I was cold on Wednesday, and then yesterday I spent the entire day wallowing in self-pity."
Hermione stared at him in disbelief. Did he really think this was an apology? And yet he continued.
"Being around you reminds me that I really just ran from my issues and avoided dealing with the hard things because I wasn't ready. I have no choice now because you hardly deserve a partner who shuts you out. I made a promise to you, that I would do everything I could to make sure you still had happy life—"
Hermione rounded the desk then and forced Malfoy to sit on the edge so she could look at his stupid face instead of craning her neck.
"Malfoy, I don't need you to be anybody different. Do you really think I am actually any better?" What was she saying? Where was this confession coming from? Shehad no idea but it was coming out now or never. With sudden clarity she realized 'never' was not an option anymore.
"I still have nightmares and panic attacks. Too often, I wake up in a cold sweat worried Harry and I have been found because our wards didn't hold overnight. Another favorite is when we were actually captured."
Hermione noticed his pained and drawn expression so she hurried on, looking at the floor instead of his face for the next bit. "What I'm trying to say is, I am a mess. I am still haunted, too. I don't need you to be anyone but who you actually are. You aren't broken, there is nothing to fix. You have feelings, and that's good, lean into them. Stop running from them. I don't expect you to become some alien version of yourself. Together we can both work on letting the past go. I don't know if you are like me but sometimes, and I cannot believe I am admitting this out loud for the first time to you, I think I don't want to let it go. Carrying it with me eases my guilt for living when others didn't. Carrying it with me means I can have a chip on my shoulder and an excuse for my shitty behavior," Hermione finished with an exhale before daring to glance up.
Malfoy's grey eyes were bright as he blinked and looked down. He reached out and grasped her left hand bringing it to his lips. He met her eyes again as he pressed his lips to her knuckles and whispered, "So how do we mend something that didn't break?"
Her breath caught as his words ghosted over her knuckles, both from the intimate gesture and because the question was the exact one she had asked herself for years.
"I don't have an answer for that. But can we figure it out together?" she whispered back.
They stood quietly for another moment grasping hands before Malfoy cleared his throat and released her hand.
"I actually came to see if you would like to have dinner with me, we need to make an appearance in public." Hermione bristled as Malfoy continued. "But I would rather go somewhere Muggle and avoid the papers if possible. What do you say?"
Hermione's expression softened as he finished his offer, and she smiled. "That sounds nice."
"Tomorrow we can make a show of spending the day together doing wedding planning. That sounds perfectly terrible and the paper will love it," Malfoy drawled.
"That does sound perfectly terrible and just the thing to attract attention," Hermione agreed.
"Look at us agreeing on something," Malfoy said with a chuckle. "Now, do you have a preference on dinner or can I take you somewhere I like?"
Hermione looked a bit surprised he had a preferred restaurant in mind, almost like this was a real date. Her surprise must have shown because Malfoy said, "If you're wondering about my motives, I find I am really tired of pretending it is hard to spend time with you." He paused as if assessing her reaction. "You are smart and funny, and if we didn't have all the history between us, you are someone I would seek out to spend time with. And by history, I mean my beastly behavior that would have made asking you on a date without you being forced into marriage with me impossible," he finished quickly.
Hermione eyed him critically before responding. "Dinner sounds good, I didn't even realize how late it's gotten."
She decided to move past everything else he said, not knowing how to unpack that case of crazy at this moment. Thankfully, he seemed equally as willing to move on. Hermione flicked her wand and the mess on her desk organized itself into neat stacks.
"So, you have a place in mind?" she asked with a critical brow.
"Granger, I find I am appalled at the lack of romance in your life if I am the first man to plan an evening to whisk you away on," Malfoy deadpanned.
Hermione stiffened. Romance and Malfoy did not belong in the same sentence. And how dare he make such an insinuation! Despite her desire to brush off his comment, she considered his words. Hermione realized none of her previous relationships had involved much in the way of romance. She was too practical and found it to be too much fuss. However, it seemed like he had already planned this entirely and just expected her to go along with it.
The relinquishing of control over an outing—because this was not a date—simultaneously bothered and excited Hermione. She'd typically been the one in charge of all the planning in her previous relationships; if she was being honest, she trusted nothing would go well if she hadn't rigorously planned and researched the events of a date herself. No, not a date, she corrected herself.
Malfoy, the annoying git, chuckled like he could see her internal battle and found it amusing. "Come on, Granger, relax. I know you didn't get to make a list and overplan every exchange we shall make this evening but I promise you can do that for tomorrow, alright? Tonight, just let me take you somewhere we can have a nice meal like we aren't former mortal foes forced into an arranged marriage," Malfoy said with mock exasperation, a smile fighting to split his face.
It was truly irritating how well he knew her already. Hermione considered his statement earlier then, about how he watched her at Hogwarts. She began to wonder if this entire arrangement was starting to mean more to him, if it was maybe more to her too. She shook her head, she was delirious at this point, Draco Malfoy did not have any burgeoning feelings for her.
Draco had paced his flat for hours convincing himself to seek her out today. He needed to deal with the consequences of his behavior no matter how nervous he was. In his anxiety fueled haze he had changed his suit three times before finally leaving the flat.
Standing in the doorway of Hermione's office, he'd watched her chew the end of her quill and had nearly lost all sense of reason and self-preservation. He wanted nothing more than to clear her desk with gusto and lay her over it for his personal enjoyment, and hers. A blessed small fraction of his mind held on to sense and he merely wiped ink off her cheek. Then a flood gate of awkwardness decided to spew out of his mouth and he wished he could whither and die on the spot. Granger had rescued him from the self-inflicted drowning by ignoring his schoolboy gushing. This woman was going to be his ruin.
At his favorite Muggle restaurant, seated across from Hermione, he cast secret glances at her over the menu. She chewed her lip when she was in thought, and if her hair was up like it was today, a few loose pieces would inevitably escape and she would twirl an errant curl.
He wanted to do that, too, but he would sooner cut his hand off than be caught twirling her hair in his fingers; he did not have her permission for such casual intimacy. He needed to talk to her, his mind was no longer safe to be alone in if he was considering words like 'intimacy' and 'Granger' in the same sentence.
"What are you thinking of ordering?" he asked. "I've had at least half of the menu and nothing has been disappointing."
"I was thinking everything sounds good and I have no idea how to pick," she said with a little whine.
"Do I have your permission to choose?" he offered.
She stared at him curiously for a moment before responding. "You know, that sounds nice."
Draco nearly choked on his wine. Who was this agreeable woman across from him? "I'm sorry, did you just agree? Without a fight? Who are you and where is that Hermione Granger woman who is often found yelling in my face?" he said with a disbelieving laugh.
"If you are going to be a prat about—"
"No, no, it just took me by surprise. I like it. I mean, it's nice—" The waiter saved him from the fit he was clearly having.
Granger smirked into her wine as he ordered for them. His face felt hot and he had the mortifying sense he was actually blushing, which was something he never did. Or, had never done, until now. Bloody hell, he was going barmy.
"Malfoy, I don't think I have ever seen you so flustered. Are you quite alright?" she asked in a light teasing tone.
"I am not, if I am being honest. This entire week has been hell." He glanced at her and his breath caught as he tracked her left hand with the engagement ring he had given her on the dock. He lost all train of thought.
Hermione seemed to sense the focus of his attention. "I hate that flashy thing you gave me but I felt like I should wear something, and I only went to work today so I figured this would be fine." Now she was rambling and wringing her hands.
Draco reached across the table and took her left hand, running his thumb over the delicate band. "Wear whatever makes you comfortable," he said as he released her hand and met her gaze. "You never have to be anyone but who you are with me."
He expected the statement to bring a smile to her face but instead, she almost looked sad. Draco's brow furrowed and he considered what he could have said that made her feel that way. "Did I say something wrong?"
Hermione shook her head and cast her gaze down for a moment. "I am mad, and overwhelmed, and furious, but happy at the same time. I have friends who have been with me all of my life but somehow it's the man sitting across from me who says something I've waited my entire life to hear," she said quietly.
Draco's confusion only grew as Hermione continued.
"I'm the smart one, the one with a plan, the one with ideas. I'm the person my friends looked to for answers. You…you don't need my ideas, my knowledge, you don't need anything from me, you don't want anything from me." She held up a finger as he made to interrupt her. "You just want me to be me, because you don't need me. You planned this date because you wanted to, you gave me this ring because you wanted to. Earlier when you joked about the lack of romance, you were absolutely right. I don't let people get close to me because then they'll know I am not infallible. With you, I don't even care. All our lives, I knew you thought I was nothing, so I don't feel the need to try and raise your opinion of me. I can just be who I am. And I know you don't think I'm scum now but I still don't give a shite if you like me or not. It's really freeing, and until we were forced together, it was something I never realized I was missing in my life."
Draco sat there staring at the woman across from him, trying to absorb what she had just laid out. He took a breath and a drink from his wine before responding. "Does this mean we can move past petty fights and move on to normal couple fights, like how I wash the dishes wrong and how you chew the ends off all my best quills?" he asked with a small smile.
The food arrived, breaking the moment. He wasn't sure if he was grateful or if he wanted to reach into her mind to know every stray thought that had crossed her mind in those endless moments of silence.
They both thanked the waiter and Draco was about to change the topic when she spoke.
"Draco." His eyes snapped to hers when she said his name with no one to hear but them. "I have no idea how to feel about everything going on but I know I would rather fight with you everyday about my quill chewing. I am sure I can find some fault of yours; the dishes won't do because I have seen you wash dishes and you aren't a deficient dishwasher. Likely I will spend the rest of our lives reminding you that you're an absolute prat who is much too full of himself, because if I don't, that overinflated ego of yours might lead to you leaving the planet like a hot air balloon," she said with a laugh.
She broke eye contact and turned her attention to her meal. Draco busied himself with his own meal, more confused now than he had been all day. He was pulled from his dissection of his meal when she moaned from across the table.
"Granger, if you are going to make such obscene noises, I will never feed you in public again," he teased.
She simply raised a brow and took another bite and increased the volume of her moaning. To his dismay, someone from a nearby table turned to glance over.
"Granger," he hissed. "Other people are looking!"
She took another bite and made another delighted noise. Draco slid his wand from his suit sleeve and cast a silencing charm over the table, and then—because she deserved it—a very mild stinging jinx under the table. She jumped and ire flashed in her eyes as he returned his wand to his sleeve after dismissing the silencing charm.
Draco smiled, pleased with himself. He saw her next move coming as her foot flew up. He caught her ankle. Her bare ankle. He swallowed and forced his voice to remain unaffected. "Not very sporting Granger, kicking a man in the bollocks," he drawled with a smug smile.
Her other foot kicked and he caught it, too. He slipped his wand out again and bound her ankles together before applying a sticking charm so they were bound to his thigh. He patted her calf and did not stop to consider the smooth expanse of leg within his reach. He returned to his meal as she glared at him.
"Malfoy, I demand you release my legs."
The waiter returned at that moment and Draco had the delight of watching her exchange pleasantries while furious.
"Malfoy, I take back every nice thing I have said this week. You are clearly still an absolute menace," Hermione hissed.
Draco continued with his meal like she had said nothing. She tried jerking her legs back but he was quicker. He wrapped his hand round her calf and met her gaze.
"If you don't like how I play then don't start a game you aren't prepared to finish. You might have been the brilliant one in your friend group, Hermione, but you forget I am a Slytherin and we play dirty." He punctuated his sentence with a firm squeeze to her leg, his grey eyes alight as he flashed her a wicked smile.
She growled in frustration but returned to her meal. Draco released her leg and returned to his dinner. They ate in silence for a few more minutes before he heard her mutter under her breath something that sounded like 'bloody seeker reflexes'. That made him laugh which only increased her scowl. He released her legs and she quickly readjusted herself.
"I think we have found the thing you will fight with me about," he said conversationally. "Clearly I'm a menace and you'll have to beat me into submission. I promise to be a willing participant in any form of punishment you deem appropriate."
She choked, just as he hoped she would, and the lovely shade of scarlet creeping across her downturned face was highly satisfying. His gloating, however, was short lived.
"I don't know, Draco, I might find it necessary to tie you up with my old Gryffindor ties and then undress slowly while reciting every useless textbook I have ever memorized but never letting you touch me," she said with a sly smile.
Fuck, he had no come back for this. Fuck it.
"Don't make threats your arse can't cash, Hermione," Draco said as he signaled for the waiter.
He helped her out of her chair and they left the restaurant, walking in silence to the Apparition point. He turned toward her after a few moments, the cooler night air clearing some of the haze in his mind.
Draco had prepared to be rational but he was entirely taken off guard by Hermione grabbing the lapels of his suit jacket and pulling him down to her level. She stopped just short of his lips so close her tongue lightly brushed his lower lip as it darted out to wet her lips.
"I only make promises," she said breathlessly before letting him go and stepping away.
Draco didn't think.
He reached out, catching her by the nape of her neck and pulling her back to him, molding his lips over hers. He didn't move anymore than that, waiting to see what she would do. She was stiff in his hold for a moment before she returned the kiss, her hands fisting his jacket pulling him closer. He responded in kind, pulling her tighter to him by the waist. His fingers dug into her scalp and she whimpered. He took advantage of her open mouth to deepen the kiss for a moment before he pulled back, breathless, her swollen lips leaving him with a deep hunger. He searched her face for a moment and all he saw was desire.
"I will hold you to those promises," he whispered into her ear before forcing himself to take a step back and pulling out his wand to Disapparate. "See you tomorrow, Hermione."
"Good night, Draco."