Chapter 3

Several days passed by, and Lily had been spending most of her time with Lauren and Chris, except when they wanted to be alone. It still struck her as odd that the two of them were a couple.

Friday night, she got back late from seeing a movie with Lauren and Chris. It had been quite a bit of fun to watch Chris throw popcorn at the old people sitting in front of them, though Lauren and Lily both scolded him about it. Lily entered her room to find Esprit making a terrible racket. She let the tiny owl out of its cage, and it flew off into the night.

Sunday morning, Lily awoke early. She sighed as she climbed from her bed. The last day of summer vacation; I should make the best of it, she thought. The sun was just beginning to peek out from behind the trees, but Lily could tell it was going to be a beautiful day, and there was plenty to do. She had to pack, clean her room, and say her farewells to Chris and Lauren for the year. She was just pulling out a pair of jeans when a blood-curdling scream pierced the air. Lily paused and listened closely. There it was again. Someone was shrieking and crying; and it sounded like it was coming from the street. Lily darted from her room without a second thought. Several seconds later, she yanked open the front door, certain she recognized the screaming voice.

"Lauren!" Lily shouted. Her friend was collapsed in the street crying hysterically. Then Lily noticed a second body lying next to her. Lauren continued screaming, not acknowledging Lily, who ran over to her.

She immediately felt sick to her stomach. The second body was one she recognized as Chris, only soaked with blood, his eyes still half open, though life had left him.

"Oh my God," Lily breathed, her eyes tearing. "It's alright, Lauren. Come on." She tried to help her best friend up. At once, Lauren leapt to her feet.

"You!" she shrieked, pointing at Lily. "It was you! You did this to him!"

"Lauren, calm down, I did not," Lily's voice quivered.

"I should kill you!" Lauren shouted, flinging herself at Lily, who struggled to keep her balance, as Lauren flailed her arms trying to hit Lily's face. "I should kill you!" One of her hands latched onto a clump of Lily's hair and yanked.

"Knock it off, Lauren, I didn't do anything!" Lily was in a state of complete shock. Lauren's ice blue eyes penetrated into her as she glared. "Now tell me what really happened!"

"You should die! I'll kill you!" Lauren swung and just missed Lily's right eye. Lily tried desperately to get her arms around the flailing girl and make her calm down.

"Girls!" a harsh voice called. Lily glanced back. It was Mr. Evans, running towards them.

"Dad, help!" Lily shouted desperately. Lauren went completely limp and collapsed onto Lily's arms, unconscious. Lily lowered her body to the ground, trembling.

"What happened?" demanded Mr. Evans, looking at the bodies sprawled on the ground. "He—he's dead! The Aubrey boy's dead! Lily, what do you know of this?" His voice was sharp, harsh. Lily burst into tears.

"Daddy," she cried, rubbing her eyes. "I—I don't know. Lauren said I did it. I don't know why she would think that." Lily sobbed.

"Come on, dear," her father, never the affectionate type, put his arm around her and directed her to the house. One by one, neighbors began to step out of their houses to see what had caused the commotion in the street.

Lily sat on a chair in the living room, in a state of complete and utter shock. She wasn't crying anymore, just then, but her green eyes were wide and alert, her face pale. In the background, the sounds of telephone calls and ambulances seemed a blur. Lily heard it, but nothing was clear, she couldn't even make her own mind think clearly. Words and phrases flooded her thinking, but she was unable to put them together. Chris, dead, Lauren, me, my fault…

"Lily?" she recognized the calm, soothing voice of her mother, though she was unable to respond. "Hi sweetheart." Mrs. Evans sat down next to her, placing an arm around her youngest daughter's shoulder. "Would you like to talk." No, thought Lily. No talking. Too late. My fault. She couldn't respond.

"Oh, my baby," Mrs. Evans embraced her. "My baby." She stroked her long red curls gently, and slowly the shock began to fade away from Lily, replaced by a flooding of uncontrollable tears.

After what felt like hours later, Lily had no tears left to cry. She drew in deep, trembling breaths, trying to calm herself. Everything still felt so unreal. Chris dead, and Lauren blaming her. It seemed easier to think about it all now though. Mrs. Evans let her to herself. She tried to rerun the morning's events over in her mind, but it wasn't there. She could only see Chris' dead body; only hear Lauren's words You did this! I should kill you! But why did Lauren think that? How could she accuse Lily? And what had really happened to Chris? There'd been a lot of blood, coming from his chest. Probably a gunshot wound, Lily figured. But that didn't help matters at all. Maybe Lauren was just really upset, and since I was the first person to come along she felt the need to blame me, reasoned Lily. After all, it was an enormous shock. But sweet little Lauren screaming at the top of her lungs that she was going to kill someone. It didn't seem like her at all.

Lily suddenly felt compelled to go see Lauren; to confront her. She needed answers. She glanced out the window. Police cars and ambulances surrounded the entire area. The street was completely blocked off. There was no way she was going to leave the house unnoticed. Unless…

Lily slipped out the back door. There were the woods; the back of Lauren's house was just on the other side. If she could just get through without being seen! She drew in a deep breath, and all at once began to sprint. A minute later she reached the other side, breathing a sigh of relief. It was only about fifteen yards to the back of Lauren's house, but Lily noticed there was a police car parked out front. There was lattice on the back side of the house, for ivy to climb on. Maybe she could reach Lauren's window, Lily reasoned. It was worth a try. She cautiously made her way to the house and carefully, she began to push herself up from the ground. Please be in your room, Lauren, she thought. I have got to talk to you. She climbed higher, willing herself not to look down. Lily had always been afraid of heights. At last she reached the second story window. Steadying herself, she carefully slid the window open, put one foot inside, then the other. When she stepped down, she heard something crinkle under her foot. Glancing down, she picked it up. Scrawled in untidy handwriting, as though the writer had been having a fight with the pen, were the words I don't want to die! The paper was covered with nothing but this phrase. Lily, getting an extremely strange feeling, glanced up into the room, and only then did she notice for the first time what had been in the center of the room all along.

The noose was tied from the light on the ceiling, and a stool was knocked over underneath. Lauren's body hung limply, her neck at a peculiar angle, just enough light entering the room that Lily could see her half-open eyes, empty and lifeless, like glass. Her face distorted, twisted with a look of terror, so that she was hardly recognizable as Lauren, except for those eyes. Lily wanted to scream, wanted to cry out, wanted to run away. But she was frozen there. Frozen there to look at the lifeless body of her friend who had ended her own life.

Trembling all from head to toe, Lily gained the sudden impulse to leave. The sickening image of Lauren's lifeless, pale body, suspended in midair, rotating back and forth just slightly so that the light reflected from her eyes, seemed to be permanently imprinted in her mind. She quickly climbed out of the window and down the boards, shaking so badly she could hardly keep her grip. Halfway down, her fingers slipped and she plummeted backwards until she hit the ground with a thud.

After a few seconds she was able to breathe again, and conclude that she wasn't injured; not seriously, in any case. She brought herself to her feet, and sheer adrenaline carried her back to the safety of her own house. She slipped in the back door, feeling completely miserable.

She'd just discovered the body of her dead best friend. She knew she should tell someone, but she couldn't. Couldn't talk to them, couldn't form the right words. Her mind was so confused. Everything was mixed up, wrong. She headed for her bedroom, her knees so weak she could hardly ascend the stairs. She walked in, closing the door behind her, and sat down on her bed. She curled herself up, crossing her arms, and rocked back and forth nervously, shivering, though sweat poured from her body. She sobbed, thinking of all that had happened, feeling as though she was responsible, and wondering how long it would be until someone found Lauren. It was only then that she realized what she still held in her hand.

Looking down, she saw the words, handwriting not at all like Lauren's, as though she'd been fighting someone else with those words, I don't want to die! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! Lily swore she could hear her screaming voice. It grew, louder, louder. You did this! I should kill you! I don't want to die! Lily tore the paper to shreds, then tore the shreds into shreds and scattered the whole mess onto the floor, sobbing. She closed her eyes, trying to forget everything, but all she could see was Lauren's dead body hanging in the darkness; and those eyes.

She sat for hours, concentrating on nothing but keeping her mind blank. Someone knocked on her door.

"Lily, may I come in?" It was her mother. Lily didn't answer. A second later the knob turned anyway. "I need to talk to you about something, dear." Lily looked up. Mrs. Evans seated herself on the bed.

"I just received a telephone call, Lily. I'm not quite sure how to tell you this. You're friend Lauren; she was found dead just a little while ago." Lily's reaction was nothing. She didn't even move, just kept her eyes focused on the same spot on the wall. "I know this is hard for you baby," her mother whispered. "It's hard for all of us. No one knows what's going on. It's okay to cry though, and it's okay to talk. You shouldn't keep this all inside you." Mrs. Evans herself was crying, but Lily could not. "Don't worry about going back to school. We'll write to the headmaster and explain that you'll be late."

"I want to go," said Lily, not even realizing that she said it. Her mother looked surprised.

"You're sure you want to go? I don't think it's the best idea."

"I want to go," Lily repeated, in an even, monotone voice.

"Alright then, dear. I guess I'll take you tomorrow morning. Why don't you try to get some rest? If you're hungry, I'll make you something to eat." Lily shook her head, and Mrs. Evans left the room. Lily packed the rest of her trunk thoughtlessly, then crawled between the sheets of her bed. Maybe she could at least get some rest. But she soon concluded that she couldn't close her eyes without seeing one of their dead bodies. Suddenly, a loud squawking noise filled the room, and Esprit came flying through her open window. She groaned and let the bird back into its cage.

All night from her window she could see the lights of the police cars. They were patrolling the area with high security trying to find any evidence for the murders. Lily rested awake, staring at the ceiling, or out the window, afraid to close her eyes, though they burned and stung.

She saw the sun begin to rise.