Authors Note and Disclaimer:

^_^ Hah! Well after thinking about it lots I've finally decided to write this fic. I'd read so many nauseating Xellos/Filia fics so this is my sort of response to that to counteract the nausea. Nothing against X/F fans but I personally hate that pairing because Filia annoys me. Just as a bit of a warning let me tell you what you're in for. This fic will have a bit of angst/drama in the beginning, humor, some Xellos/Val Yaoi eventually in later chapters(Not Valgaav because Val-sama has reincarnated as a true dragon again), X/V fluffy romance-ness, A bit of language (nothing too harsh..), and violence. O_o() My god, did I try to fit every genre in there? LOL So, you have been warned. If you don't like any of the above mentioned things then I advise that you leave. Please don't just judge this fic because you dislike the pairing. If you read just to harass I will hand you over to my friend's hall of shame/doom. Anyway, onto the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: Slayers, Xellos, Val, and Filia don't belong to me sadly. -_-()... Ah well...

Val's Bitterness

Prologue

Val screamed, waking from the nightmare he'd been having and sitting up in bed, grasping his face in his hands and feeling the stinging hot tears searing his cheeks. After several moments the silence that was only penetrated previously by Val's sobbing was parted by the sound of footsteps.

"Val honey, are you all right? What happened?" Filia called, pushing open the door to his room and holding a lamp in one hand.

"The nightmares... I keep having them..." Val sobbed and Filia moved to sit beside her adopted son on the bed, placing a hand on the teenager's shoulder.

"It's okay. They're not real. They're just figments of your imagination and if you think hard enough they'll go away and won't ever come back." Filia said. Val drew a shallow breath and then gave several more heaving sobs as the memory of his nightmare still played in his mind.

"But it felt so real! So terrifying..." Val whispered as he drew his knees up to his chin, wrapping his arms around his chest.

"But it's not, dear. None of it's real. Listen, just lay back down and think of happy things and then you won't have those bad nightmares." Filia said, getting to her feet so that Val could lay back down. The young man stretched out on his side and and looked at Filia nervously, something tearing at the back of his mind that he couldn't identify.

"Sorry for waking you." Val sighed and Filia smiled.

"It's all right, Val. Just go back to sleep." Filia said and then left the room. Val stared up at the ceiling and closed his eyes against the pain that throbbed in his chest. His nightmare played in his mind and he shuddered as images of mutilated ancient dragons forced their way into his mind. He could see them all, the hatchlings and eggs crushed and ran through with spears. He could see the adults, crucified on the large spears weilded by the golden dragons, their intestines and blood spilled on the ground. The scent and taste of blood overwhelmed him and he thought that he would drown in it, and then there was the part where he was chased. Chased endlessly by a horde of golden dragons all weilding their spears and screaming his name.

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real!" Val repeated over and over again as though it were a mantra, even though it never worked. Filia had told him the nightmares weren't real since he was a child and had told him that if he believed hard enough they'd go away, but they never did. And now it was overwhelming him, the nightmares becoming more intense and unbearable the older he got.