A/N: Why is Jesse still talking?

Happy Day 6 of NaNoWriMo! According to my chart, I should've written a total of 20,000 words by midnight tonight. For those of you who might be wondering why my target is so high, it's because I have two NaNoWriMo 'projects' this year. Goals, y'all!

I placed a poll on FSoG Fanfic Followers to determine which WIP I should update next, and FE appears to be the winner by a large margin. At the time of this posting, this story was the clear victor.

T Traveller (Thirst): Yes, Jesse is a catch!

Seems like some of you are on the marriage train.

FSOGFanFictionAddiction (Vvn_Noel): Don't worry; Ana will be selfish for once.

Reds77: It may look like Carla is winning, but what is she winning really? Suppose it depends on the lens used to measure success or failure. Ana may not be able to pursue her dreams if she marries Jesse, but at least she won't be wasting away, working herself to the bone while not pursuing them. I never quite understood Vivienne's line in Pretty Woman when Gere's character offered to put her up and she says "That's just geography" — even when I was young, I realized there was a stark difference between being a streetwalker and a cherished mistress. Sure, both positions are both perceived as prostitution, but which situation (theoretically) carries the lesser risk?

motherbeatrice: Ana learned her self-martyrdom at Ray's knee. Christian might have been a vulnerable 15 year old when Elena got her claws into him, but he's a grown man now.

Krooela: I'm completely onboard with the Ana should get the hell out of Dodge plan.

Vvn Noel: Jess would be able to source the best saplings.

desini: Great question! If Ana was to fall in love with someone after they were married, Jess would let her go. He doesn't come right out and say this, but you'll see. You will see…

Christian618: Is a Christian and Ana HEA important? Asking for a friend.

Inspiration Song(s): The Rolling Stones - Wild Horses

JessePoV

"Move in with you?" she asked hesitantly. She must've been more tired than I thought if she had misheard me. The wine might not have been the best idea; I'd forgotten Ana was such a lightweight. My delaying tactics had worked against me, but she was suddenly alert now, her bright blue eyes pinning me. With her, I had found that the truth, no matter how harsh or direct, was best. There was no use hemming and hawing. So I would just try my luck.

"I've been considering your situation for awhile and I thought we could kill two birds with one stone. Your mother needs medical care and I'm lonely. It wasn't until I saw you that I realized just how lonely I have become. You see all this, I said, holding my hand up as if to display my empty home. "I have no one but my dogs to share it with."

"What, Jess? You want me to move in here and be your housekeeper and personal chef?" Ana asked flippantly.

"No," I said patiently, "although that could be considered one of your duties. I was actually thinking you would make a great homemaker."

I wasn't kidding. I would've dated the maker of Ray's fancy lunches and baked goods sight unseen had I known she was single. Her eyes widened dramatically, and her face suddenly paled.

AnaPoV

I was…confused. What was he talking about? Homemaker? Was he talking about shacking up? Living together or something? Had Jess forgotten we live in Montesano?

"Look, I know you haven't lived here a long time, but Montesano isn't the kind of place that you just start living together. Even Carla had the decency to move town when she shacked up with her third husband," I explained carefully, shaking off the lethargy.

Work had drained the hell out of me. I probably shouldn't have come here after my shift, but the alternative was going home, looking at the boxes Ray had placed in the hallway, ostensibly to pack. Or dealing with Carla. I've found my mother and I got on much better while she was unconscious, and since Dad wouldn't let me knock her out, Jesse's place was a clear winner. I looked at the glass in my hand. It was empty. Guess I shouldn't have downed that wine so fast; I had been so busy, I'd forgotten to eat. And I was sure I looked less than appealing still wearing my work clothes from the restaurant. Though I wasn't looking for a relationship, I certainly didn't want his pity and charity.

"If that's true, how do your parents justify living together now that they're divorced?" he asked curiously.

"Honestly? I think his ex has been bolstering his image, though she has every reason in the world to blacken his name. My best bet is that everyone thinks Carla's on her last leg. What could they possibly be getting up to? Plus, and I can't be a hundred percent certain, I think me returning home has given the situation a veil of respectability."

"Alright," he said hesitantly. "I don't think you understood me. I was proposing marriage," he said slowly. Wait, what?

JessePoV

"Jess," she began gently, "I didn't even know your thoughts leaned in that direction. I mean sure you flirt with me from time to time but this—"

I might have felt insulted If I didn't know her better, but at least she was trying to let me down easy.

"Ana, I care for you and I want to take care of you. It's as simple as that," I stated.

"I can't let you sacrifice yourself because you pity me," she whispered. "Besides, what would people think? I've been struggling to escape from under my mother's reputation for years. It's like a vortex, sucking me in. Burying me. It was so hard to be liked or respected for myself after some of the things she did. If I married you, I'd be starting back at square one, and I'd drag your reputation down with mine."

Surprisingly, her confession and her consideration for my character raised her even higher in my estimation. She took marriage seriously and believed in the institution of marriage. She was never just going to say yes, marry me, take care of me for the rest of my life.

I understood why she was worried. Ray had become increasingly surly this past week. It had become noticeable to the crew. Was he worried Ana would marry me and he'd lose his slave? After all, if Ana left, who would prepare his meals and clean the house he's about to sell?

"I've never tried to entice you into supporting me. I hope you don't think my friendship was false," she added. "You're an attractive man, but I've never thought of you that way. I mean, just look at me. I have nothing to offer anyone except student loans and crippling debt."

It wasn't even her debt. Just a burden she'd taken upon her shoulders. It was like the Creator put took the collective guilt of every religion and infused it into Ana's DNA. She clearly hated Carla, but felt guilty for her hatred. She was so grateful to be adopted by Ray that she's breaking her back to support him while he supports Carla. I hated that she felt liable for any of it. Most other women her age would've long cut their losses and never looked back. She's always so fucking sad, I want to punt both Carla and Ray into a potter's field and plant some trees over them.

"You think you have nothing to offer," I replied dumbly. "I see you Ana. You're strong, smart, beautiful, and loyal. Any man with an ounce of common sense would want you. And it's normal for a healthy man to look at a beautiful woman and flirt with her. It's normal to have someone want you and want to take care of you if they care about you," I reiterated. Ana has always been so busy taking care of everyone else and putting herself dead last, she lacked the ability to look out for number one. She couldn't even guess what was in it for him.

Ana looked flummoxed as if she was trying to work out a complicated algebraic equation. And coming up with nothing.

"I don't know when we're ever going to get from underneath this debt. I don't have anything to offer you," she mused. Even now, in her most desperate hour, she was taking my needs into consideration.

It was my turn to give her a look of surprise. Seems like her parents had really done a number on her. It didn't occur to her that she had anything a decent man would want. He had to blame that on the way she was raised. People don't just wake up with a bad self-image. It has to be drummed into them over and over again before even the natural buoyancy of the human spirit begins to deflate. I had to get her out of that hellhole before it was too late.

However, Ana may be tossing up roadblocks, but she hasn't explicitly said no or kicked me in the 'nads, so I'm keeping hope alive. One man's obstacles are another man's logistics.

"I want you, Ana," I said seriously. "You're beautiful, you're pleasant, you're intelligent, and I'm attracted to you. Those things that you believe detract from you are temporary, fixable, and ultimately trivial. I'm sure you won't always owe student loans. In fact, the first thing I'll do when we get married is take care of them. And if your mother is sick, I would be more than willing to help you help out with her medical costs, too. But what I'm not going to do is watch you work yourself into the ground and waste your life away. I can't."

I worded my promise carefully; I had not interest at all in helping Carla do shit but get off of Ana's back. I wanted to help Ana. Fuck Carla and Ray. I couldn't imagine running my own kid into the ground.

"I can't let you do that. What would people say?" she demanded.

"The only people I care about are in this room. I only ask that you share your life with me and you give it your best. That's all anyone can ask."

"It seems as if you're offering some type of marriage of convenience. Is that even done anymore?"

"Marriage is what you make it, I've always thought. Ana, I know you're not in love with me," I admitted. "Now, if you already have somebody in your life or are already in love with someone, I understand. But you haven't mentioned a boyfriend or even dating."

"Honestly? I've been working my tail off studying and working to pay the bills. I haven't had time to date. I mean, look at my family. It's not as if I had a lot of money for tuition. So no, there's no one serious."

I was surprised, but pleased that there was one less obstacle. Then again, if there was someone else and he was leaving her alone to suffer under the yoke of this catastrophe, I wouldn't consider him competition. I once again laughed at the ignorance and hubris of youth. Perhaps she had decided to date casually instead of tying herself down in a relationship that might require more effort. But if I was twenty or so years younger and was at WSU when Ana attended, I would've been chasing this young woman from her freshman year to graduation.

"Well, I want you to take some time to think about this seriously. Don't answer right away. If you marry me, I will take this pressure away from you. No matter what happens, this is not something you have to deal with anymore."

"Alright," she replied uncertainly. But at least she hadn't said no. "Well, at the end of this week, I have to drive Carla to Seattle to see a specialist. This Friday."

"Even better. It gives you the weekend and the entire rest of this week to think about it. In fact, how about I make some calls and instead of you driving back and forth right after she sees that specialist, why don't you stay in Seattle for the whole weekend? I want you to take a load off of your mind and pamper yourself. It'll be my treat whether you say yes or no."

As she sat there completely confused, I made a few calls and got on my laptop to make some reservations. Maybe if she took time out to decompress, she'd realize how unsustainable this was. Uphill figureskating would be easier.

"There. You're checked into the Fairmont in a suite with your mother. While you're there, why don't you go to a spa and just let your hair down for the weekend then come back and give me your decision? I won't take no for an answer," I said as she seemingly wanted to refuse.

Finally, she leaned forward and kissed my cheek in gratitude. The least I could do was provide her a temporary escape from her troubles, even if her biggest problem would be in the car with her, riding shotgun.

Wanda, I though fatalistically. Now that's yet another piece of shit I wished I could make disappear.

AnaPoV

When I got home, I noticed a curious silence. Even Carla seemed somewhat cowed. And Ray was angrily slamming through the house, unable to meet my eyes. I couldn't imagine what I could have possibly have done wrong to make Ray so pissed. Perhaps it was something Carla had done, because they were the only two people in the house and no-one had seemed pissed when I left. Carla was suspiciously close-mouthed.

There had been a rather uncomfortable moment after I discovered that Ray had supplanted me, making Carla the beneficiary of his life insurance policies, but since when had I ever expected financial support from either of them? Carla, because she had never offered, and Ray, who had encouraged and trained me to be self-reliant from an early age.

After a quick bite to eat, I went upstairs to my bedroom, taking off my uniform which I was still wearing, before showering to wash off the day. Changing into my night clothes, I wondered how anyone could be interested in marrying a broke, smalltown waitress?

By the end of the week, Ray's avoidance had become apparent. As had Carla's irritating, calculating smirk. By the date of Carla's appointment, I had gotten ready before packing the car. Dad was conspicuously absent, having left before I woke up that morning. I'd half expected him to see us off.

Last night, Jesse had handed me a large envelope full of cash. Also inside was my reservation confirmation and a reloadable credit card that he said was for my sole use during our trip for gas and incidentals. He had even printed a list of spas, as he said it wasn't for him to choose where a woman got her self spruced up. He also told me to buy myself some new clothes. Maybe to another woman that would have been a substantial draw but not me. I didn't want to be a kept woman.

However, he did have a trick or two up his sleeve, because when he looked at me a certain way, saying "I insist," I took it without further complaint. "I'll be upset if you don't spend more than a few thousand and I will be checking."

I couldn't deny that my clothes, no matter how serviceable, had become a bit threadbare and dated. I hadn't really gone shopping for myself in years. Only when things had gotten so decrepit that they practically falling off my body did I justify the necessity. I simply didn't have the funds for it, and when Kate insisted on dragging me along to a party or club, I would simply borrow clothes out of her closet. I was the least she could do. I considered it a bully tax. I didn't have time or resources for the regular college experience.

Thankfully, Wanda was able to make the trip. Though Carla whined quite bitterly about the fact that my radio didn't work properly and it would backfire now and again. What did she expect? It wasn't as if she'd ever really given me any money over the years. Maybe if she had ever helped me out a bit financially, I'd have a better car. Beggars can't be choosers. I pressed my lips together in disgust, not even humoring her complaints with an response.

The trip was much faster than it could have been because I practically floored it all the way. I almost wished that Jose was nearby so he could continue to service Wanda. But he, like Kate and school, were all things and had been forced to leave behind. The only thing I had done with any regularity after I'd moved back to Montesano had been turning in my classwork to my professors.

As the elevator swiftly ascended, I considered my options. Jess had reserved a two-bedroom suite. He had gone all out. We were checked in from Thursday afternoon to to Sunday, though we'd arrived early Friday. After refreshing ourselves, I hailed a cab to take us to the hospital.

The new specialist was promising all manner of goodness, but this new treatment would only work if she had a certain number of T-cells. So they were going to perform a T-cell count. It seemed as if all the treatments at this stage of her cancer were radical and expensive with slim chances of success, so of course this crap shoot would be right up Carla's alley. I wondered if Jess realized just how high the costs would run when he'd made the offer.

But he must have; without insurance and even with insurance, experimental treatments frequently weren't covered. The doctor smiling and pleasant let her know that he would get back to her with the results by next week before sending us on our way.

It was late by the time we returned. I had treated Carla out for a bite to eat on Jesse's dime. Of course, Carla took the opportunity to order the most expensive things on the menu. I wanted to smack her. I hoped she enjoyed her meal because the last thing I wanted was to hear her food disagree with her.

After reading as many magazines as I could and flipping through the TV offerings, I gave up with a huff. Only feeling desperate enough to converse with Carla around 9:30 in the evening, I gave up and fell into a troubled slumber. In two days, I would return to Montesano and have to give my decision. Realizing how expensive everything would be, I knew my answer would be yes. I could work in that little cafe for the rest of my life and never repay the debt. There was no telling how much we'd owe by the end. And Ray and Carla would be long gone.

I hadn't bought clothes in forever and he said I should, so I was going to shop 'til I dropped. I went to bed with a heavy heart, having nightmares and dreams of wrinkled, decrepit, liver-spotted hands touching me all over my body. I woke up screaming into my pillow. I knew I was being unfair to Jesse, because he was a very good-looking man with nary a liver spot and barely any wrinkles to be seen. But the idea of marrying him and allowing him such intimacies did bring one rather huge problem into bold relief.

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Nichole Stewart FB