Putting the Pieces Back
Untouchable
We bring Spike to his room and wait for him to…do something.
But he just stands in the doorway.
I can see that Dawn is actually excited that he's really here.
I was worried that she would change her mind.
That what we've went through would resurface.
Seeing them sitting on the couch together was… It seemed right.
Bringing him here was the right thing.
I watch as he enters the room and looks around.
Dawn is showing him where we've put his clothes and things.
Trying to talk to him all the while.
It's wonderful to see her cheerful.
"Oh and Clem says hi!" She smiles at Spike.
He gives her a small smile in return.
He's thin… and dirty. But he's acting like Spike.
A quieter Spike. But it's better than the crazy version.
I'm not sure what I should do now.
I know he won't eat.
And that he's scared,
Maybe even angry.
But he's here. And that's all I need for now.
It's late for Dawn and I, but it's early for vampires.
But Spike has always been unique,
Keeping weird hours and eating human food.
I have no idea when he sleeps.
But it's been an exhausting day and I think we could all use a good night sleep.
Doesn't mean it'll happen…
I sigh and look at Spike.
"How about we get you cleaned up?"
Clean some of that dirt off. Make him more like himself.
And he crumbles. Shit. He wasn't doing as well as I thought.
"Never clean. Dirty. Filthy. Never clean always dirty always…"
Dawn stands by shocked and concerned.
Spike crouches down and grabs his head.
Maybe I've been doing this wrong?
"I can bring you a bowl of water and a wash cloth? How about that?"
"Wrong. Wrong. Vile. Foul, unclean…monster."
He begins hitting his head on the wall.
I move over to stop him from hurting himself. And denting the plaster...
"Dawn? Can you get those for me?"
"Sure." She chokes out and leaves the room.
"Spike. Please don't do that."
He continues.
I move to take his hand and he jumps away.
"Don't!" He's on the other side of the room now. Pacing and muttering.
Why did I think I could handle this? I don't know what I'm doing.
Once again I try to stop Spike from his frantic moves.
He growls at me; something I haven't heard in a long time.
He won't let me touch him. He doesn't want me near him.
I'm not going to cry… Nope, not gonna cry…
This is horrible. He looks like a caged animal.
I'm standing in front of the door; the only exit.
But I know he won't leave. We've gotten this far already.
"Buffy?"
Dawn has returned with the bowl and towel. Concern still evident in her expression.
"Stay there Dawn. Everything's going to be fine." God I hope so...
Spike has slid down the wall again and continues to babble.
"Spike. It's OK. I only wanted you to wash up before we went to bed…"
How do I make this better?
"It's all right if you don't want to…"
"Buffy? Maybe I can try?" Dawn whispers to me.
I feel myself nodding my head in reply.
She crosses the room and sits down in front of Spike. He watches all of this.
I can't hear what she says to him but he looks back down at the floor.
Dawn doesn't even attempt to touch him.
She places the items in front of him and waits.
Spike turns to the side,
"Shut UP!"
His sudden outburst makes me jerk back.
"Don't listen Spike. Whatever it's saying, just don't pay attention." Dawn confidently says.
He shifts uncomfortably and looks at his hands.
I can see him shudder but he grabs the bowl.
He begins to furiously clean his hands. Rapidly brushing at his palms.
"Easy." Dawn tells him. He slows down.
She looks back and gives me a shaky smile.
I move toward them but Spike's still untouchable.
He'll need more than just his hands cleaned, but we'll wait for that another day.
I guess there just aren't any easy solutions.
~
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, especially Mer. ^_^
Knowing there are people who want more of my story has helped me keep writing.
Next chapter coming soon. Hopefully...
Untouchable
We bring Spike to his room and wait for him to…do something.
But he just stands in the doorway.
I can see that Dawn is actually excited that he's really here.
I was worried that she would change her mind.
That what we've went through would resurface.
Seeing them sitting on the couch together was… It seemed right.
Bringing him here was the right thing.
I watch as he enters the room and looks around.
Dawn is showing him where we've put his clothes and things.
Trying to talk to him all the while.
It's wonderful to see her cheerful.
"Oh and Clem says hi!" She smiles at Spike.
He gives her a small smile in return.
He's thin… and dirty. But he's acting like Spike.
A quieter Spike. But it's better than the crazy version.
I'm not sure what I should do now.
I know he won't eat.
And that he's scared,
Maybe even angry.
But he's here. And that's all I need for now.
It's late for Dawn and I, but it's early for vampires.
But Spike has always been unique,
Keeping weird hours and eating human food.
I have no idea when he sleeps.
But it's been an exhausting day and I think we could all use a good night sleep.
Doesn't mean it'll happen…
I sigh and look at Spike.
"How about we get you cleaned up?"
Clean some of that dirt off. Make him more like himself.
And he crumbles. Shit. He wasn't doing as well as I thought.
"Never clean. Dirty. Filthy. Never clean always dirty always…"
Dawn stands by shocked and concerned.
Spike crouches down and grabs his head.
Maybe I've been doing this wrong?
"I can bring you a bowl of water and a wash cloth? How about that?"
"Wrong. Wrong. Vile. Foul, unclean…monster."
He begins hitting his head on the wall.
I move over to stop him from hurting himself. And denting the plaster...
"Dawn? Can you get those for me?"
"Sure." She chokes out and leaves the room.
"Spike. Please don't do that."
He continues.
I move to take his hand and he jumps away.
"Don't!" He's on the other side of the room now. Pacing and muttering.
Why did I think I could handle this? I don't know what I'm doing.
Once again I try to stop Spike from his frantic moves.
He growls at me; something I haven't heard in a long time.
He won't let me touch him. He doesn't want me near him.
I'm not going to cry… Nope, not gonna cry…
This is horrible. He looks like a caged animal.
I'm standing in front of the door; the only exit.
But I know he won't leave. We've gotten this far already.
"Buffy?"
Dawn has returned with the bowl and towel. Concern still evident in her expression.
"Stay there Dawn. Everything's going to be fine." God I hope so...
Spike has slid down the wall again and continues to babble.
"Spike. It's OK. I only wanted you to wash up before we went to bed…"
How do I make this better?
"It's all right if you don't want to…"
"Buffy? Maybe I can try?" Dawn whispers to me.
I feel myself nodding my head in reply.
She crosses the room and sits down in front of Spike. He watches all of this.
I can't hear what she says to him but he looks back down at the floor.
Dawn doesn't even attempt to touch him.
She places the items in front of him and waits.
Spike turns to the side,
"Shut UP!"
His sudden outburst makes me jerk back.
"Don't listen Spike. Whatever it's saying, just don't pay attention." Dawn confidently says.
He shifts uncomfortably and looks at his hands.
I can see him shudder but he grabs the bowl.
He begins to furiously clean his hands. Rapidly brushing at his palms.
"Easy." Dawn tells him. He slows down.
She looks back and gives me a shaky smile.
I move toward them but Spike's still untouchable.
He'll need more than just his hands cleaned, but we'll wait for that another day.
I guess there just aren't any easy solutions.
~
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, especially Mer. ^_^
Knowing there are people who want more of my story has helped me keep writing.
Next chapter coming soon. Hopefully...