"How is this working," Megan asked as she pulled up ahead of the moving truck with her and Faroke's belongings. They were moving in two weeks earlier than planned.
"There's a couple choices," Alyssa said.
"You tell us what works best for you and your girls," Megan replied, "this is your home and were just here until I find something and get my own place."
"There's a full suite in the basement with two bedrooms and a bathroom," Alyssa replied, "then I have 4 bedrooms up stairs. I'm using one as an office, one is empty and the girls are in one."
"What works best for you," Megan asked.
"I don't know," Alyssa admitted, "mom I'm still reeling. I can't make more decisions."
"Okay," Megan replied, "does Faroke and I taking the basement rooms work for you?"
"Yes," Alyssa replied, "then you have some space as well. I started dinner for all of us for tonight."
"We'll talk meals," Megan said, "Faroke and I both cook. How do you want to do it?"
"I'm still on mat leave," Alyssa replied, "I'm home."
"That doesn't mean you're the only one that needs to do all the house stuff," Megan replied, "or is this you saying mom I want to do separate lives."
"I don't know how to live with you," Alyssa replied, "I haven't lived with a parent since I was 9. I can't jump into having my mom 100% of the time."
"Can we try roommates," Megan offered, "I'm happy to be downstairs with Faroke and do our own thing most nights. I would like to do dinner together a couple times a week."
"I think we start there," Alyssa agreed, "I'm trying to get the girls and I settled and into a routine. Twins are hard. I never have enough hands."
"Then let me help," Megan replied.
"No mom, I have to stand on my own two feet," Alyssa answered.
"I didn't," Megan said.
"You were 19 and it was your brother," Alyssa replied, "I can't go crawling back to my mom. I can't be weak."
"It's not," Megan assured, "Alyssa you are doing me a huge favour letting me live in your basement."
"But we're family, it's what we do," Alyssa replied.
"Exactly," Megan replied, "Alyssa let me help."
"They're my daughters," Alyssa replied.
"I know," Megan replied, "I had this argument once with Owen that you are my daughter and I had to have final say and make the decisions, that as your uncle he was there to help me not take over. I know how hard it is to have my family try to take over. I'm here to help how you want me to and when you want me to."
"Okay," Alyssa replied, "I'm trying to be as strong as you and Grandma and Auntie Teddy."
"Yes you are a single mom like Grandma and I but you have more skills then I did when you were little and more support than grandma had," Megan replied, "Alyssa you don't have to do it alone."
"I have to prove that I can," Alyssa argued.
"No you don't," Megan replied, "I didn't. I had more help with you then we probably needed and you were so loved. Let us love your girls ladybug. Let them have the bond with their uncle that you have with Owen."
"Should we unload your stuff," Alyssa asked.
"Basement," Megan replied, "so around the side for the furniture."
"It has to go through the house," Alyssa replied, "the side gates don't actually open. It's on my list."
"Okay," Megan agreed, "so I'll tell the movers to bring the stuff in then go hug my grand babies."
"They're with their Granny," Alyssa replied, "she offered so I could help you."
They worked together to put Megan and Faroke's boxes and furniture in the basement.
"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Alyssa grumbled as she unpacked boxes in the kitchen.
"It wasn't for any of us," Megan agreed, "are you talking about me or Matt?"
"Matt," Alyssa replied, "he was to come down and see the girls this weekend and just cancelled. But wants me to bring them up to him. I was up two weeks ago and two weeks before that. He hasn't come down yet to see them. We agreed to alternate. But then I'm denying him his parenting time if I don't bring them up."
"No you're not," Megan replied, "you're upholding the agreement. You agreed to go up the second weekend of the month and he would come down on the fourth weekend. He's had a couple chances to come down and hasn't. That's on him."
"I just don't want it to come back on me," Alyssa sighed, "that I kept his children from him. But I should go to grandmas and get Alex and Celeste. You two settle in. dinner is in the crock pot."
"We can wait," Megan assured.
"Sure," Alyssa shrugged. She walked up stairs and grabbed her purse and keys. She knew she needed a smaller more practical vehicle but she loved her truck and that she had rebuilt it.
"Alyssa isn't happy," Faroke observed.
"We're moving into her house and she hasn't lived with me since she was 9," Megan said, "and for most of her life before we lived with Owen and or Nathan."
"Is she mad," Faroke asked.
"Her and Matt breaking up is like Nate and I," Megan said, "but Matt isn't holding up his end. Nate and I are still friends. Alyssa and Matt are adversaries."
"Why," Faroke asked.
"Matt slept with another woman while you were in the hospital," Megan replied, "what your sister has been through you and I will never understand. She will never understand what we went through in Iraq and with transplants but we will never understand her pain either. She lost me, she had Owen but that's not your mom. She's been trying to hold herself together, she's a single mom to twin babies. We left her in BC by herself for years with no one to love her."
"Why," Faroke asked.
"The pandemic," Megan replied, "and she came as soon as she was allowed home. She picked Vancouver to get to know her dad's side when she finished college."
"But Uncle Owen," Faroke said.
"She is close to Owen and Teddy but that's not your mom," Megan said, "Faroke I left her. I knew it could be hard on Alyssa but I didn't know it would be that bad. We have to give her space and let her come to us. You and I are a family unit in a way I never got to be with Alyssa. I wasn't much older than you when she was born."
"Really," Faroke asked.
"Yes," Megan replied, "I was 19. She was born in May and I turned 20 a month later. That's why I'm worried about you dating."
"No one wants to date a middle eastern guy with someone else's heart," Faroke said, "Seattle and my new school will be just as bad as LA. I'll be called a terrorist here just like I was in LA."
"Seattle is more diverse," Megan tried, "I've seen more middle eastern people here than LA. and you're going to the same school Owen and I went to, that Alyssa went to around there the last name Hunt means something. We'll meet with them next week and you'll get started."
"Why did we have to move," Faroke asked.
"I had to leave the army to move forward," Megan said, "for me to keep getting better I have to leave the military and build my own life. I can't be a soldier anymore. It gave me you but it took your sister in a lot of ways. You are the only good thing to come from my service. Faroke long term it's best for us."
"But I don't have friends," Faroke complained.
"You'll make friends at school," Megan assured, "and you wanted to play volleyball so I got in touch with the Titans Volleyball club and they have a spot for you."
"How did you find them," Faroke asked.
"Alyssa played for them," Megan replied.
Alyssa walked into the house with a carseat in each hand, she knew she needed to replace the infant seats soon but the girls were small for their age and only weighed 11 pounds. Their slow growth was being monitored but their prematurity was a factor and being twins they had started smaller.
"Should we go find grandma and uncle Faroke," Alyssa smiled as she unbuckled one baby at a time before lifting them up. She had gotten good at balancing her girls in the last 11 months.
"Mom," Alyssa called as she walked down the stairs.
"Theres my girls," Megan smiled seeing Alyssa, Alex and Celeste, "my babies."
"One at a time," ALyssa laughed, "you haven't mastered two at once yet."
"No I haven't," Megan agreed scooping Celeste out of Alyssa's arms.
"Can I," Faroke asked reaching for Alex.
"Yes," Alyssa smiled, "then come up for dinner and we'll do the Christmas tree after."
"Sounds good," Megan smiled, "the stew looks good."
"I hope so, it's a new recipe but it should be soft enough that the girls can eat it two," Alyssa smiled, "I thought something warm and hearty would be good tonight."
"I want to talk after dinner," Megan said as they walked up stairs.
"After bedtime," Alyssa agreed, "and I want to do our usual routine mom."
"Okay," Megan agreed, "can I help?"
"Kitchen clean up," Alyssa suggested, "it's not a bath night. They need jammies, milk, story and to be tucked in."
"Are you still," Megan asked.
"I am," Alyssa replied, "I have to, they're still so small for their age. Alex is in the 20th percentile and Celeste the 25th. Mom they need breastmilk to keep growing."
"They do," Megan agreed.
Alyssa walked upstairs and got the girls ready for bed. She settled in the cozy chair in the nursery to feed the girls before bed. She would be up once or twice over night but it was getting better. She knew that her girls would sleep through when they were ready.
Alyssa waked downstairs in pajamas once her girls were in bed.
"Hey," Megan smiled, "I made tea. Faroke is playing on his iPad downstairs."
"Thanks," Alyssa smiled taking the cup Megan offered her.
"Lyss we should talk ladybug," Megan said.
"I don't know how this will work," Alyssa said, "I want you in my life and in my girls lives but I haven't had a mom since I was nine. I don't know how to have a mom and I've learned not to need one."
"I know," Megan agreed, "and it's my fault then I ran to LA and dragged Faroke and Nathan with me. I thought I wanted the army career I was promised and I was trying to make up for what I lost and my lost dreams. The dreams that kept me alive. But I didn't think about you. I was trying to go back into what I lost with out ever considering that you were not the person I left. I knew how old you were I knew you would have gone to college and found a career but I couldn't let go of my little girl. I didn't give you room to grow and change. So I drove you away because I wasn't ready to accept you for you."
"I hid from you two," Alyssa admitted.
"I was your mother," Megan said, "I saw all the technology around me and iPhones and iPads and I wanted one to try to track you down. I got close a few times to being able to borrow one and try to find you. I knew how to google, I was allowed to for medical stuff but you would have been about 15 and I found an article Owen published and I tried to google him."
"What happened," Alyssa asked.
"I was beaten," Megan replied, "it broke my ribs."
"Mom," Alyssa gasped.
"I tried to come home so many times Lyss," Megan said, "I wanted to come home. I cried for you every day for years. I never stopped missing you."
"But you chose LA over me," Alyssa said, "I asked you to stay in Seattle to be close to me. I needed you to choose me to put me first."
"I know," Megan replied, "I was too tangled up in my own trauma and getting my life back to see you and what you needed."
"I get it," Alyssa said, "I will never understand why you left me when I was nine."
"I didn't want to," Megan said, "I had heard it could be hard on kids but I thought I did it the best way I could. You were with my mom, it would have been better if your father had been in our lives and your could have stayed with him but Derek was never much of a father."
"Still isn't," Alyssa replied, "but you made a choice mom you could have fought it."
"Not in 2001 and 2002 it was the war on terror," Megan replied, "the climate then I couldn't have. I tried to stay here or get transferred to Germany or England where you could have come with me. I tried to get moved to somewhere you could be with me Lyss. They knew I was a single mom but they didn't care and I owed them for my education. I still had to do that time when I got back because even though I was captured I never worked the time for them. And the military was all I knew for work. I've spent my entire adult life in the military. My parents were, my grandpa and great grandpa were, you're the first generation not to."
"They took my mom from me. How could I be part of that," Alyssa asked.
"I know," Megan said, "it hurt you more than anyone. You were the most affected baby. The first thing I thought about when I realised what was going on was how will they tell you and who would love and take care of you like I do. I knew Grandma and Owen would do their best but I knew it wasn't the same. My biggest worry the whole time was about you. When they brought me into Germany Teddy was waiting for me at the hospital. You were the first person I asked her about. I was so mad when she wouldn't show me pictures of you. She said she didn't have her phone and that she had left it at home that day. But she would only give me vague details and she wouldn't tell me much."
"I don't like people talking about me," Alyssa replied, "auntie Teddy knows that."
"She explained that," Megan said, "that she thought I should see you and meet you as an adult. But she told me you were brilliant and gorgeous and kind. She said that she knew you well not how well she let me find that out from you and Owen but that she knew you were happy."
"I had talked to her that morning for her," Alyssa said, "we always talked as her day started and mine ended. She knew and she didn't tell me."
"She wanted Owen to," Megan replied, "she knew it would have to come from him or my mom. I've talked to them about it. They knew you better than I did, they made the call as loving parents that he needed to tell you when he thought it was the right time. Alyssa I didn't handle coming home well with you. I looked for my little girl, my ladybug. I didn't give you space to be the woman you grew up to be and that wasn't fair."
"Mom it was PTSD and Trauma," Alyssa offered.
"But I still didn't let you be fully you," Megan replied, "I tried to force it when I should have waited."
"But I didn't let you in," Alyssa said, "I hid behind Uncle Owen and Auntie Teddy, Grandma. It took me having my own babies to see how much I needed and missed you."
"That was the first time I saw my little girl again," Megan said, "when you were so scared with all the complications and uncomfortable, you were my baby again. The little girl who couldn't fall asleep alone and wanted someone with you all the time. I thought I did the right thing going to LA but maybe I didn't. Maybe I should have been closer to you physically."
"Mom we can't change it," Alyssa said.
"But we can change the ending," Megan said, "I want to be in your day-to-day life, Lyss. I should have been when I came home."
"I need time two," Alyssa replied, "I had to deconstruct and reconstruct a lot of my identity. I thought I was an orphan."
"I know," Megan replied, "I haven't always been good at showing it but I love you and I want to be in your life."
"I love you too," Alyssa smiled hugging Megan, "can we try this as roommates and see how it goes?"
"I think so," Megan replied, "we need ground rules though."
"My room is mine," Alyssa said, "I like my space and having somewhere to go and just be on my own."
"Fair," Megan replied, "bedrooms are off limits. Chore wheel?"
"Needed," Alyssa replied, "and Faroke is old enough to do chores."
"Completely," Megan agreed, "and babysit."
"We'll see," Alyssa replied, "I'd rather ask you, grandma, Uncle Owen and Auntie Teddy. He's I need to run and get something not I'm going out."
"Bills, mortgage," Megan asked, "I have to contribute."
"Split utilities and groceries," Alyssa asked.
"Rent," Megan asked.
"Lets look into what's fair," Alyssa agreed, " I don't want to restrict you to the basement."
"But if you want to have people over let us know and we'll get out of the way," Megan replied.
"I worry more about my brother than my mom," Alyssa replied.
"He's pretty good," Megan assured.
"I'm just getting settled again," Alyssa shook her head, "I have boxes everywhere. It's a lot on my own. I wanted to get Christmas up right away for their first Christmas, then it was the nursery, kitchen and my bedroom that needed to be functional first. I can really only do it during nap time."
"We can work together," Megan assured, "we'll work it out. I have kitchen stuff and I love to cook."
"I have everything I use," Alyssa replied, "and that we need. I kept it all from my place because I bought it."
"Alyssa I want to make this work," Megan said, "to know you, to be here for you. I want to see you happy."
"That's a ways off," Alyssa shrugged.
"It is," Megan said, "but you deserve to be happy and find happiness."
"It's not a good time," Alyssa shrugged.
"No, you show your babies how to be happy," Megan said.
"One day," Alyssa replied.
"Now ladybug," Megan said, "I don't want to see you hurting like this. I want to see you loved and healthy and happy."
"Are you," Alyssa asked.
"I'm trying," Megan said, "I miss Nate and I want to figure out whats happing there."
"Could you get back together," Alyssa asked.
"I don't know," Megan said, "we're trying to be good friends. We skipped that step."
"So go back," Alyssa suggested.
"I don't know," Megan replied.
"Mom you love him," Alyssa said.
"I always will," Megan replied, "just like part of me will always care about Derek because he gave me you."
"I just hate Matt right now," Alyssa replied.
"You will for a while," Megan said, "but be better than I was and don't let it hurt your children and keep your daughters from their dad."
"I'm trying there," Alyssa replied.
"I know," Megan said.
Upstairs a baby cried.
"That's a pain cry," Alyssa said jumping up. She ran up to the nursery to find Celeste sobbing.
"Teething," Alyssa whispered, "let's get some medicine and have a snuggle in mommy's room."
Megan walked upstairs.
"Celeste is teething," Alyssa replied, "tylenol and a snuggle we'll be better."
"Do you need anything," Megan asked.
"We're good," Alyssa replied, "it's a mommy thing."
"It is," Megan agreed, "are you okay if I go to bed?"
"Good night," Alyssa smiled.
'Night lady bug love you," Megan smiled.
"Love you too mom," Alyssa replied.