Kimberly
"I don't want to go."
The cars behind me honk their horn for the third time. I'm at the drop-off lane at Jeffrey's school and every single day he has given me some long speech as to why he shouldn't go to school that day.
Yesterday it was a headache. Today it's his stomach. I know they have all been lies.
Maddox sits beside his brother in the back of our car, staring at Jeffrey. His large brown eyes have softened, a glimmer of concern on them. Maddox has always been a gentle soul, being the heart and soul of our little family.
"Jeffrey," I sigh, "we can't do this today, okay? I need to drop off your brothers, take Muse to the vet, and you can't miss any more days of school. No excuses."
He stares out the window in silence for a few moments and I can see his eyes narrowing as if he's lost in thought. I remember what it was like being a young kid his age, going to school when all you wanted to do was stay in bed. I think I was around his age when my parents split up for the first time. I say first time because it happened more times than I could count. One day things would be fine, the next my mom would be throwing a blow dryer at my dad's head. Then a few days after that she would be crying on the phone, begging him to come back so that we could be a family. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized that my father had a whole other family in the town over. When my mom would kick him out, that's where he would go.
I would listen from the staircase as my father would cry his eyes out, telling my mother that this time things would be different. That we were who he loved the most. It never was. The cycle continued until the very thought of my father would make me want to throw up. He was a poor excuse of a husband and father.
It wasn't healthy growing up in that household, which was why I promised myself that I would never allow my children to see me that way. Maybe it's why I accepted it so easily when Travis said that he was done with the family. I didn't want to fight to keep a man by me. There would be no groveling on my part. I am a prize.
"But it really does hurt," Jeffrey tells me, breaking me from my thoughts. I want to believe him so much.
It's been a rough couple of months for all of us.
We ran into Travis a few weeks ago when I took the kids to a Raiders game. We needed some family time and I needed a major distraction, so a baseball game seemed like the perfect place to do both. We used to have season passes since Travis was such a huge baseball fan and going with their dad to watch a ball game was always a family favorite. We didn't expect to see my worst nightmare come to life. The thought of running into him hadn't even crossed my mind. The last time I heard from him he was out of the country for a permanent move. The boys lit up when they saw him walking through the crowd, thinking that he'd come back…and for a moment, I had hope that he would acknowledge them. After all, they were part his. I hoped that he would say hello. Instead, Travis walked right past them like any stranger would, like he hadn't even seen them… but he had. Tyler and Jeffrey both turned their head as they watched Travis walk away and get lost in the sea of strangers.
I was seeing red. I wanted to go over there and smack him across his stupid face, but I know what that would look like. I don't need to be going down as the bitter ex that got her family kicked out of the baseball game. So instead of saying all of the things that I wanted to, I remained silent. I threw away over five hundred dollars that day on food and souvenirs, hoping that it would ease some of the pain from the rejection. It didn't. All the money in the world couldn't erase that. Nothing would.
I know all about rejection.
"Stop being such a damn baby," Tyler huffs from the passenger seat, "You're making it up. I can tell from all the way over here."
"No, I'm not," Jeffrey retorts, "It really does."
Tyler throws himself into his seat, "You can't honestly believe him, mom. He loves to lie. I'm going to be late for homeroom again because he's getting his period."
"Tyler!" I scoff but it only causes him to roll his eyes.
"What?" He says, feigning innocence, "He is!"
Jeffrey retaliates by throwing his water bottle at him.
I can't do this right now. This is not the time. I put a stop to it before it escalates further.
"Honey, please," I say softly after another honk. Mine and Jeffrey's eyes lock in the rearview mirror.
He says something under his breath and begins to unbuckle his seat belt and opens the car door. Finally. Yesterday we had been holding traffic up for ten minutes.
"Bye," I tell him. "I lov—"
And Jeffrey slams the car door. I turn to find him walking towards his school, his black backpack hanging off one shoulder, and his head pointed down.
A sadness fills up inside of me. This is worse than I thought. He needs help.
The game has affected Jeffrey in all aspects of his life. Of course he is performing poorly in school, but he has also been fighting more with his brothers at home. Erica recommended I sign him up for the local little league, apparently the coach is great, but I just don't think introducing him to a sport is the best idea right now. I want him focused on what matters right now, but it might offer a little distraction from life.
I ended up taking some time off from work in order to be there for my boys. I never get that opportunity, but my month-long vacation is about to come to an end next week. Maybe I can use this final week to really figure out what's bothering Jeffrey. I know it's because of his dad, but I feel like there has to be more.
"What's wrong with Jeffrey?" Maddox asks from the back seat. I turn to him and give him a small smile. I don't want him to worry. Never. Unlike my older two boys, Maddox didn't recognize Travis.
"He's not feeling well," I tell him.
"It's something called PMS," Tyler snickers.
"Stop it," I growl.
Maddox's curious eyes widen, "What's that?"
"It's what chicks get when it's that time of the month," Tyler laughs, ignoring my warning.
"What does that mean?"
"Puberty, bud." Tyler answers.
"Puberty?"
"Yup," Tyler sighs, "Pretty soon Jeffrey isn't going to look like himself. He's going to start molting, he's going to get, like, a foot taller, and growing hair in new areas of his body. We're going to be smelling him from a mile away. It's disgusting."
"Like… a monster?"
"Exactly like a monster."
Maddox is quiet for a moment, his innocent mind trying to piece together the new information "Poor Jeffrey. Maybe he should stay home today."
The more I hear it, the more that I'm reconsidering my decision to send Jeffrey to school. I think on that more as I pull out of the school and drive down towards the elementary school down the road.
"You're a nurse, right?" Maddox asks. Like he doesn't already know the answer to this. I went to your job fair, kid.
"Yes," I laugh.
"Then he probably needs a nurse to take care of him at home. Maybe get some hugs and some good food," He lists his ideas and then he sits up straight in his seat, "Oo.. I know! Mac and cheese always cheers me up."
"Mac and cheese," My nose wrinkles.
"Yes!" Maddox cheers, "You make the best Mac and cheese in the whole world."
I laugh and then a memory creeps up. The same one that I had been trying to forget when I decided to take the boys to the game. I don't know why it does. It's not like anything was ever going to come of it. So stupid.
I shake my head back to the present, suppressing those thoughts like I've done for months now. Between the Travis incident and the bad haircut I got last week, life hasn't been kind to us. I must have pissed off a gypsy.
"I think you're right," I tell him.
"Or he can stop acting like a baby and get over it," Tyler sighs. "It wasn't that big of a deal. So what if we saw you-know-who," Tyler lowered his voice. "It's not like we were going to be a big happy family anyway. I don't think we ever were."
"There was a time when you worshipped the ground he walked on."
"And now I'm older and I understand. Once a deadbeat, always a deadbeat."
I grip the steering wheel tighter. This hurts to hear. I feel responsible for picking the wrong person to have children with, but deep down I know that without that soulless man, I wouldn't have my children.
The rest of the morning went as uneventful as any other day. I ran my errands and continued thinking about Jeffrey. He was in a period of his life where he really needed a father figure, and the more I thought on that, the more that I started considering Erica's advice. Jeffrey should get into sports. It would help him to focus his attention on something he really enjoys. And although he is likely very pissed off at baseball right now, I know that it's something he loves.
In the middle of putting away my laundry, I hear my phone ringing. When I look down to see the number, I frown. It was Jeffrey's school. Why the hell were they calling me?
"Hello?" I answer the call, unsure of what I'm about to hear.
"Hi, Ms. Hart?" I hear a female voice on the other end hesitate and my heart begins to race. "It's Macy Verona, the vice principal at Angel Grove Middle School."
My brows come together. "Yes? Is everything alright with Jeffrey?"
She pauses on the other end, "Not exactly."
All the blood drains from my face as I listen to the assistant principal sigh and begin telling me about the incident Jeffrey was just in.
"Suspended?" I bellow at Jeffrey beside me. He has a bag of ice on a bump on his head as I drive down to the hospital.
He was in a fight— a huge fight— with two other kids. What started out as a verbal altercation soon turned physical. There was blood on Jeffrey's shirt and I'm not sure whose it is at the moment. All of the kids looked wrecked.
Somewhere in the chaos of their fight, Jeffrey was thrown down and hit his head. I raced down to the school and picked him up to send him to the hospital. The last thing I needed was for him to have a concussion.
"Quieter," he groaned as he screwed up his face.
He was in pain. Good.
"I can't believe you, Jeffrey. What is wrong with you? What makes you think that you can get in a fight? When have I ever said that fighting was okay?"
"No more talking," he continues to groan as he moved to cover his ears with his hands.
I take my eyes off the road for a moment and narrow my eyes at him, "No! You will listen to what I have to say. You are so lucky you didn't get expelled. Why are you acting like this? Why are you picking fights with the other kids?"
"I didn't pick any fight," his voice picks up, "They started it!"
"I don't care who starts it," I yell. "You have no right to resort to violence!"
"Then they should learn to keep their mouth shut," He fumes. "I think I just taught them that lesson."
My teeth grind, "You have absolutely no remorse."
"I don't care!" He glares at me. "You don't know what it's like to get picked on day after day. I couldn't take it anymore. Sure, I punched them, but I wanted them to feel the hurt that I've been feeling all year. I hate it there! And if you actually cared you would have noticed."
My anger softens. Was he right? Has he been getting bullied day after day and had I been too in my head to notice?
This was the first I had heard about this. He doesn't talk to me anymore… none of them do. They don't tell me anything. I used to sit at the edge of Tyler and Jeffrey's bed every single night and give them each ten minutes of my undivided attention. It would be the time when we could talk without the distractions of the day. When it was a good day, we would giggle until our stomachs hurt. When it was a bad day, I would remind them that the day was over and what hurt us was in the past and tomorrow would be a new day. I haven't done that. Things need to change around here.
An hour after we arrived at the emergency department, we finally get a room. It was a miracle we did. The waiting room was packed. I kind of miss the action. It's been a long month and I'm looking forward to coming back and doing what I love. The beeping of the monitors, the wires, the flashing of lights… I miss it all. While it may be terrifying for some, the chaos feels like home. Maybe it's because it reminds me of home. Clearly I thrive in chaos.
"Kim.." I see Trini walk in to our room. Her head tilts and I know she knows why we're here. "Bad day, kiddo?" Trini asks Jeffrey.
We've settled in our room, with me by a chair and Jeffrey splayed on the bed.
He gives her a sad smile as he attempts to sit up, "You should see the other kids."
Trini is like the sister that I never had and always wanted. She's at my house at least once a week and she has gotten to know the kids rather well. They have adopted her as an extended member of our family.
"I'm sure you took care of the problem, right? I've seen you take on Tyler at home," she winks.
To say my kids are a hassle is a complete understatement. I don't know how it is that I've been able to raise them on my own for the last several years without going completely insane. Injuries in the Hart household aren't completely unheard of. I'm at the ER at least once a month thanks to the wild animals I call my children. Just this year alone I've had to bring Tyler and Jeffrey in three times each.
"Have you thought about what Erica said?" Trini asks, "I hear that the little league coach also teaches martial arts."
"I think that's the last thing I want right now," I sigh, "Teaching him to fight? You think that's a good idea?"
"Not teaching him how to fight, but how to defend himself."
"It's just… violence. I don't know. Don't you think he's too young?"
"No way," she shakes her head. "Obviously it's happening," she motions to his head. "Maybe this would be a good way for him to rid himself of the frustration."
I think about it a moment. Well, maybe it wouldn't be too bad. He could learn how to defend himself in a controlled environment. Maybe it would be good to take my other two boys as well.
"I'll think about it," I tell her.
She gives me a smile and opens up Jeffrey's chart on the computer. He's been here so many times that his patient history is long. She begins typing away as I think back on the shit show that has been my life.
I'm drowning with no way out. I've been trying unsuccessfully for months to get into a good routine, but nothing that I do seems good enough. This isn't the first time that Jeffrey has gotten into a fight but this is the first time that he was injured. My sweet middle child has turned angry and I don't know what to do to stop the rage from growing.
I turn back to Trini who seems to have it all put together. She doesn't have children yet, but everything else seems to be just about perfect. She gets to date whoever she wants, she gets to travel wherever she wants, and she gets to sleep in as late as she wants.
If only life were as simple as that.
"Who's in today? Matthews?" I ask.
Her eyes widen and a goofy grin appears on her face. Dr. Matthews is the resident hottie, at least that's what everyone calls him. I, on the other hand, like to refer to him as the resident asshole. Don't get me wrong he really is gorgeous, unfortunately, his attitude around staff and patients is a major turn off. He's arrogant, stubborn, and an all around know it all.
"Better," she sighs. "He makes Matthews look like Gollum."
I smile. Damn, I never thought I would see the day when Trini would find someone that she's attracted to more. She's been pining over him since he showed up here two years ago.
"Why haven't I met him?" I whisper.
"He just got in a few weeks ago," she tells me. "He's really nice. You'll like him. And to top it off, he's about the most gorgeous man I have ever seen."
"I can hear you guys," Jeffrey moans, clutching the bag of ice closer to his head.
I giggle in response. Serves him right.
If this guy is anywhere near as hot as Trini makes him out to be, the resident asshole will finally have some competition.
"So what's his name?" I ask, playing into the gossip.
I really don't care. I don't date within the working pool… I don't date at all. I said that six months ago and nothing has changed. I wake up, eat, work, sleep… wash, rinse, and recycle until the day that I die.
"Dr. Oliver," she whispers. "But he likes to go by Dr. O."
A wave of dread fills me but I fight to keep it away. Oliver… that's not completely unheard of. Maybe not the most common, but certainly not unlikely. Probably just a coincidence.
"Do you know what the O stands for?" She asks.
"…Oliver?" I reply with a smirk.
"Orgasm," she snickers. "At least that's the rumor going around."
"Self control is a beautiful thing, Tri."
I chuckle to myself because I know that Trini could have any guy that she wants. She's long and beautiful with a full head of jet-black hair that would make any man drop to his knees. Her issue seems to be that she's always falling for the wrong guys. The guy that's never ready for commitment. Regardless, she puts herself out there. I wish I had her confidence.
"That's him," Trini squeals, shoving me softly.
My head drops in an attempt to hide my smirk. I've never seen Trini act this crazy. This guy must be a walking god.
"Good afternoon," We hear from the doorway.
My head turns as a reflex to the familiar voice. It's deep but smooth. I know it. I'd recognize it anywhere. No fucking way.
My eyes widen as I take him in for the first time in six months. He has that same beautiful smug smile that made me weak. How is it possible that he had gotten even more good looking? His hair that I had pulled on all night was perfectly styled in an effortless 'I woke up like this but I look fucking fantastic' type of way. Blue had never looked so good on a person before. This is so unfair. I run a hand through my hair without a thought. No. No. No.
What. The. Fuck.
He stares at me just the same, his face falling ever so slightly. Does he recognize me? Probably not. I was just another dumb bimbo that he never called.
"Hi, Dr. O," Trini says, breaking this spell between us.
Oh, no. My best friend is in love with the guy that I kind-of-almost-all-the-way-hooked- up-with.
"Morning, Trini," He grins at her and I swallow. Did he move on to her? I really don't care, but… Trini! No way. She's way too good for someone like Tommy "ll say I'll call but I won't" Oliver.
As if remembering where he was, Tommy straightens himself up and looks down at the chart in his hand. "Umm… Jeffrey?" He says, clearing his throat.
"Yup," Jeffrey replies, eyes half open.
Tommy turns to me, as if waiting for me to introduce myself, but my mouth has gone completely dry. I can't speak. I can't do anything. My heart is beating unbelievably fast and I have just enough sense to not push Jeffrey off the bed because I think I might be in more need of emergency services. This can't be happening. Not here. Not now. Not today.
I never told Trini about what happened six months ago. I never told anyone. This was a secret I have carried with me. And now is not the time for everyone to find out. Luckily, it seems like Tommy is either playing along just the same or he has absolutely no clue who I am. If he is playing along then I'm a little disappointed that he could fall into this role so perfectly.
"And… you must be mom?" Tommy looks at me with those same eyes that hypnotized me so long ago.
Fuck you. Don't look at me like that. He lost the right to look at me like that when he said he would call me and he never did.
"Y-yes," I stammer.
Tommy goes silent for a moment and then directs his attention to Jeffrey. I bite down on my lip when the memory of us at dinner comes up. He said he hated kids and now he's about to meet mine.
Author Note: Sorry for the delay. This was intended on being posted close to my last update but I had a few things come up. I'm so sorry for the delay. I Hope you all enjoy. More coming soon! Again, this was broken down from the previous chapter. All six months from meeting :) Let me know what you guys think! See you guys next time!