Hollywood Hijinks
To Red Witch: Now you know why I'm a tea-drinker. So that's your chapter secret. I mostly write at night. As for your 'blooper takes', I will take it into consideration. Hope you have fun in Jersey! Pick up a Bon Jovi shirt for me please!
RogueFanKC: Yeah, John's fires have gotten more premeditated lately. I think he's trying to tell us something. (John: KATHY BATES IS COMING TO MAKE US INTO SANDWICHES FOR HER PICNIC ON THE MOON!!!!) Ooooh-kay, I think John needs to sit down now.
JCKIDSMART: I'm glad you like the story and I hope you continue to read the others I wrote. Check out a new one I did called "Halloween Hijinks!" It's a Halloween fic, full of madness, with the Misfits, and the Avengers! (At least, my roster.)
To Wizard1: The Sally Struthers thing was just one of the products of John's badly mis-wired mind. I hope you include the Starr brothers in those cameos. This'll be a great way for the X-Men to learn about Virus, huh? Well, enjoy the fic.
Chapter 7: Even More Movie Madness!
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The streets of a modern-day metropolis. A peaceful little city, where people got along, and the sun shined every day. Suddenly a scream pierced the tranquility. People ran when they saw the creatures. They were chickens, horribly mutated chickens. They were around six or seven feet tall. Their squawks were like a combination of your average chicken and a siren. Their wings looked like feather-covered human bodybuilder arms, with wings. Their feathers were white with green tips on the wings. Their talons were almost metallic. They had burning red eyes, and sharp-toothed beaks. They were the Evil Space Chickens from Dimension X. Alien chickens from another planet and dimension, intent on conquering Earth for its vast supply of corn.
A teenage boy with white, almost silvery hair, was watching this from a table of a café. Along with him was a figure covered in a red cloak and hood. At the sight of the chickens, the boy threw off his trenchcoat and hat, revealing a high-collared costume in two shades of blue with a silver lightning bolt slashing across his chest. The cloaked and hooded figure perked up slightly.
"I guess we have to work now, huh?" The figure asked the boy. Its tone showed the figure was female.
"You got that right, sis." The boy smirked. The cloaked figure stood up and pulled back her hood, revealing a teenage girl, with collar-length black hair (A/N: I'm assuming Wanda let her hair grow out somewhat since joining the Misfits), and a two-pronged crest on her head. Her costume left her arms and shoulders bare, but she wore long red fingerless gloves. "Let's go fry some chickens. Wait a minute. That line is so cliché."
"CUT!!!" Dirk McGee yelled into the microphone. "Quicksilver, quit the commentary." Wanda Maximoff smacked her twin brother upside the head.
"You dummy! You made me look bad!" Wanda snapped. "My part was fantastic!"
"Well you didn't need to hit me." Pietro whimpered. He got another smack upside the head. "Ow!"
"Okay, get the cybernetic chickens back to position and WHAT THE--?" McGee yelled. Colossus crashed through the set. He looked like he was fighting for his life. What he was fighting was a very angry Kitty Pryde. The phaser had her arms firmly wrapped around the huge metal-skinned Russian's neck, choking the big lug. Since he was considerably taller than her, Kitty's legs dangled, looking rather comical. Peter struggled, but he couldn't get Kitty off him.
"HELP ME!!!" Colossus yelled.
"I'LL TEACH YOU, RASPUTIN!!! LAY A HAND ON MY BABY, HUH?" Kitty screamed. She was referring to Lockheed.
"I WAS SET UP!!! I WAS SET UP!!! THE MISFITS SET ME UP!!!" Peter screamed desperately as he tried to get his windpipe open. "I WASN'T TRYING TO FLUSH LOCKHEED DOWN THE TOILET!!!" The screaming Russian staggered away.
"That Rasputin causes nothing but trouble. That's the third set he's wrecked." McGee groaned. Pietro watched the whole thing with a deadpan look.
"Colossus can lift the X-Van with one hand, but he can't get Kitty off him. Super strength is one weird power." Pietro quipped. Wanda struggled to keep a straight face.
"Man, I'm glad I don't have it." The Scarlet Witch burst out laughing.
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"Man, this prop room is full of neat old stuff." Shipwreck grinned. He, Cover Girl, Lionheart, Roadblock, and Low Light were looking around at the props. Low Light laughed as he picked up a fake newspaper. He read the headline: Tomatoes beat up Senator.
"This would be funny if it happened to a certain jerk." The sniper chuckled. It was obvious who he was referring to.
"Hey, this is neat!" Roadblock put on a fez. "With this, my style can't be beat." Lionheart rolled her eyes. The catlike Englishwoman squealed with delight when she found a prop.
"Oh my God!" She held up a black cowboy hat. "My favorite actor wore this hat in "Horses on Fire!" Oh my God!" She sighed happily. "Robert McQueen...What a gorgeous beast! I met him once. But for some reason, these huge burly guys dragged me away from him. The next day in the mail, I got a letter saying I couldn't come within 300 feet of him. What a way to play hard-to-get." Lionheart pouted. Cover Girl shook her head in disbelief.
{Lionheart getting a restraining order. Why am I not surprised?} The ex- model thought to herself. She added under her breath: "Barbecue, you attract the wrong type."
"I wonder if Barbecue would find me attractive in this hat?" Lionheart put the hat on, and posed in front of a mirror. "I think he'd find me irresistible."
"Yeah, and whales are the size of guppies." Shipwreck laughed.
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"I can't believe I'm doing this." Ray groaned. He was on a motorcycle in his Darkstar costume. "Why am I doing this again?"
"In this scene, Darkstar drives the motorcycle up the pile of crates over the exploding car in an attempt to get away from the chickens." McGee explained.
"Not me. I don't run. I would've stayed and fought them." Craig said to the director.
"It's just a movie, Darkstar." McGee told Darkstar. Craig only snorted. "And action."
{I'm gonna die} Those words repeated themselves over and over in Ray's mind as the motorcycle was guided at high speed. He flew over the car just as it exploded, but he got set on fire. "YEEEEEOWWWWW!!!! HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!!! IT BURNS!!!! IT BURR-HURR-HURR-HUURNS!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"CUT!! GET THE MEDICS!!!" McGee yelled. Craig burst out laughing.
"Typical X-Man. Always screwing up." Darkstar snickered.
"Oh God, I think my skin's coming off!" Ray screamed.
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"Man, I can't believe I have to do this." Scott groaned as he looked at the scene. It was a beach, with a volleyball set up.
"Okay. In this scene, Todd leaps out of a building, chickens shooting lasers at him. The Superstars..." McGee motioned to John, Paul, Craig, and Lance. "Happen to be playing volleyball with some girls here." McGee set the scene. He motioned to Tabby, Amara, Kitty, and Jean, clad in beach wear. "Since Tanya disappeared, I have had Jean take her place. Anyway, Todd runs to the beach, where the Superstars help him deal with the chickens." Paul telepathically contacted Craig and told him about his sighting of Zanya.
{What? Zanya's here! Aw great!} Craig's voice groaned in Paul's mind. {If she's here, then the Dreadnoks are not far behind.}
{I know. What do we do, bro?}
{We'll tell the others about this after the shoot.} Craig replied. {For now, act normal.}
"Okay, everyone to your places!" McGee said. Everyone went to their places. "And Action!"
"Spike this, boys!" Jean taunted, serving the ball and blowing a kiss at Paul. It was four-on-four, boys vs. girls. Todd ran into the scene, lasers firing behind him.
"Look!" Lance pointed. The Space Chickens squawked as they ran, firing lasers from their eyes.
"Girls, get to where it's safe!" John ordered. While the scene was shooting, Scott was aiming a bazooka at Todd.
"Now I'll fulfill my bargain." Scott locked on. However, a stray laser from the chickens hit the bazooka, making it explode! "OWWWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!!!"
Man, Scott always ends up on the receiving end of the back of fate's hand! What'll happen next? Will any more disasters happen during the movie? Who'll get blown up? How does McGee keep his sanity? Find out in the next chapter!
To Red Witch: Now you know why I'm a tea-drinker. So that's your chapter secret. I mostly write at night. As for your 'blooper takes', I will take it into consideration. Hope you have fun in Jersey! Pick up a Bon Jovi shirt for me please!
RogueFanKC: Yeah, John's fires have gotten more premeditated lately. I think he's trying to tell us something. (John: KATHY BATES IS COMING TO MAKE US INTO SANDWICHES FOR HER PICNIC ON THE MOON!!!!) Ooooh-kay, I think John needs to sit down now.
JCKIDSMART: I'm glad you like the story and I hope you continue to read the others I wrote. Check out a new one I did called "Halloween Hijinks!" It's a Halloween fic, full of madness, with the Misfits, and the Avengers! (At least, my roster.)
To Wizard1: The Sally Struthers thing was just one of the products of John's badly mis-wired mind. I hope you include the Starr brothers in those cameos. This'll be a great way for the X-Men to learn about Virus, huh? Well, enjoy the fic.
Chapter 7: Even More Movie Madness!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The streets of a modern-day metropolis. A peaceful little city, where people got along, and the sun shined every day. Suddenly a scream pierced the tranquility. People ran when they saw the creatures. They were chickens, horribly mutated chickens. They were around six or seven feet tall. Their squawks were like a combination of your average chicken and a siren. Their wings looked like feather-covered human bodybuilder arms, with wings. Their feathers were white with green tips on the wings. Their talons were almost metallic. They had burning red eyes, and sharp-toothed beaks. They were the Evil Space Chickens from Dimension X. Alien chickens from another planet and dimension, intent on conquering Earth for its vast supply of corn.
A teenage boy with white, almost silvery hair, was watching this from a table of a café. Along with him was a figure covered in a red cloak and hood. At the sight of the chickens, the boy threw off his trenchcoat and hat, revealing a high-collared costume in two shades of blue with a silver lightning bolt slashing across his chest. The cloaked and hooded figure perked up slightly.
"I guess we have to work now, huh?" The figure asked the boy. Its tone showed the figure was female.
"You got that right, sis." The boy smirked. The cloaked figure stood up and pulled back her hood, revealing a teenage girl, with collar-length black hair (A/N: I'm assuming Wanda let her hair grow out somewhat since joining the Misfits), and a two-pronged crest on her head. Her costume left her arms and shoulders bare, but she wore long red fingerless gloves. "Let's go fry some chickens. Wait a minute. That line is so cliché."
"CUT!!!" Dirk McGee yelled into the microphone. "Quicksilver, quit the commentary." Wanda Maximoff smacked her twin brother upside the head.
"You dummy! You made me look bad!" Wanda snapped. "My part was fantastic!"
"Well you didn't need to hit me." Pietro whimpered. He got another smack upside the head. "Ow!"
"Okay, get the cybernetic chickens back to position and WHAT THE--?" McGee yelled. Colossus crashed through the set. He looked like he was fighting for his life. What he was fighting was a very angry Kitty Pryde. The phaser had her arms firmly wrapped around the huge metal-skinned Russian's neck, choking the big lug. Since he was considerably taller than her, Kitty's legs dangled, looking rather comical. Peter struggled, but he couldn't get Kitty off him.
"HELP ME!!!" Colossus yelled.
"I'LL TEACH YOU, RASPUTIN!!! LAY A HAND ON MY BABY, HUH?" Kitty screamed. She was referring to Lockheed.
"I WAS SET UP!!! I WAS SET UP!!! THE MISFITS SET ME UP!!!" Peter screamed desperately as he tried to get his windpipe open. "I WASN'T TRYING TO FLUSH LOCKHEED DOWN THE TOILET!!!" The screaming Russian staggered away.
"That Rasputin causes nothing but trouble. That's the third set he's wrecked." McGee groaned. Pietro watched the whole thing with a deadpan look.
"Colossus can lift the X-Van with one hand, but he can't get Kitty off him. Super strength is one weird power." Pietro quipped. Wanda struggled to keep a straight face.
"Man, I'm glad I don't have it." The Scarlet Witch burst out laughing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Man, this prop room is full of neat old stuff." Shipwreck grinned. He, Cover Girl, Lionheart, Roadblock, and Low Light were looking around at the props. Low Light laughed as he picked up a fake newspaper. He read the headline: Tomatoes beat up Senator.
"This would be funny if it happened to a certain jerk." The sniper chuckled. It was obvious who he was referring to.
"Hey, this is neat!" Roadblock put on a fez. "With this, my style can't be beat." Lionheart rolled her eyes. The catlike Englishwoman squealed with delight when she found a prop.
"Oh my God!" She held up a black cowboy hat. "My favorite actor wore this hat in "Horses on Fire!" Oh my God!" She sighed happily. "Robert McQueen...What a gorgeous beast! I met him once. But for some reason, these huge burly guys dragged me away from him. The next day in the mail, I got a letter saying I couldn't come within 300 feet of him. What a way to play hard-to-get." Lionheart pouted. Cover Girl shook her head in disbelief.
{Lionheart getting a restraining order. Why am I not surprised?} The ex- model thought to herself. She added under her breath: "Barbecue, you attract the wrong type."
"I wonder if Barbecue would find me attractive in this hat?" Lionheart put the hat on, and posed in front of a mirror. "I think he'd find me irresistible."
"Yeah, and whales are the size of guppies." Shipwreck laughed.
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"I can't believe I'm doing this." Ray groaned. He was on a motorcycle in his Darkstar costume. "Why am I doing this again?"
"In this scene, Darkstar drives the motorcycle up the pile of crates over the exploding car in an attempt to get away from the chickens." McGee explained.
"Not me. I don't run. I would've stayed and fought them." Craig said to the director.
"It's just a movie, Darkstar." McGee told Darkstar. Craig only snorted. "And action."
{I'm gonna die} Those words repeated themselves over and over in Ray's mind as the motorcycle was guided at high speed. He flew over the car just as it exploded, but he got set on fire. "YEEEEEOWWWWW!!!! HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!!! IT BURNS!!!! IT BURR-HURR-HURR-HUURNS!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"CUT!! GET THE MEDICS!!!" McGee yelled. Craig burst out laughing.
"Typical X-Man. Always screwing up." Darkstar snickered.
"Oh God, I think my skin's coming off!" Ray screamed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Man, I can't believe I have to do this." Scott groaned as he looked at the scene. It was a beach, with a volleyball set up.
"Okay. In this scene, Todd leaps out of a building, chickens shooting lasers at him. The Superstars..." McGee motioned to John, Paul, Craig, and Lance. "Happen to be playing volleyball with some girls here." McGee set the scene. He motioned to Tabby, Amara, Kitty, and Jean, clad in beach wear. "Since Tanya disappeared, I have had Jean take her place. Anyway, Todd runs to the beach, where the Superstars help him deal with the chickens." Paul telepathically contacted Craig and told him about his sighting of Zanya.
{What? Zanya's here! Aw great!} Craig's voice groaned in Paul's mind. {If she's here, then the Dreadnoks are not far behind.}
{I know. What do we do, bro?}
{We'll tell the others about this after the shoot.} Craig replied. {For now, act normal.}
"Okay, everyone to your places!" McGee said. Everyone went to their places. "And Action!"
"Spike this, boys!" Jean taunted, serving the ball and blowing a kiss at Paul. It was four-on-four, boys vs. girls. Todd ran into the scene, lasers firing behind him.
"Look!" Lance pointed. The Space Chickens squawked as they ran, firing lasers from their eyes.
"Girls, get to where it's safe!" John ordered. While the scene was shooting, Scott was aiming a bazooka at Todd.
"Now I'll fulfill my bargain." Scott locked on. However, a stray laser from the chickens hit the bazooka, making it explode! "OWWWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!!!"
Man, Scott always ends up on the receiving end of the back of fate's hand! What'll happen next? Will any more disasters happen during the movie? Who'll get blown up? How does McGee keep his sanity? Find out in the next chapter!