Hollywood Hijinks!
To Wizard1: Hope Craig don't catch ya! Here's hopin' Beach Head don't find ya either.
To JCKIDSMART: Here's your humiliating Kelly! A short little special epilogue! I almost forgot about this! *laughs sheepishly* It includes why I think Kelly hates mutants.
To RogueFanKC: Yeah, that episode was the inspiration for this whole fic!
Chapter 10: Humiliation on TV! PSA gone wrong!
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"And now, a message from United States Senator Robert Kelly." An announcer said, as the TV displayed the seal of the United States Senate. Kelly appeared, smiling, in a suit, and behind a podium.
"Good evening, my fellow Americans. I'd like to address..." He was interrupted by the sound of a door slamming and some voices.
"Hey, Kelly yo!"
"How ya doin'!"
"Oh no." Kelly moaned as Toad and Paul appeared on the screen.
"Hey folks! Sorry folks, but we thought you'd like to hear something else besides the average boring political speech that in the end, no one really understands." Paul grinned. He patted Kelly's back. "Look, if you want the people to like you, they have to get to know you."
"PICTURE TIME!!!" Todd held up a stack of photos.
"Oh no..." Kelly moaned.
"Fist, you gotta show baby pictures." Paul grinned. Todd put a digitally- altered photo on the camera's view. It was the classic baby-on-a-bearskin, with Kelly's head on it. He showed the photo for a few seconds, then put it away. Kelly looked traumatized.
"Now show 'em a high school photo." Paul said. Todd held up a photo of a teenage Kelly. His face had the WORST case of acne ever, and he looked real drunk. "That's his senior class photo, believe it or not folks." Paul told the viewers.
"Oh God." Kelly murmured.
"Okay, now let's see you..." Paul noticed something. He looked behind the podium. "Dude, you forgot to put pants on."
"What the--?" Kelly looked down and he blushed with embarrassment. "Aw shoot." Todd shook his head in shame.
"Yo, just because you're standing behind a podium, that does not give you the right to prance around in your boxers."
"I DO NOT PRANCE!!!" Kelly snapped.
"Not according to this footage!" Paul grinned.
"Play it, Sam!" Todd grinned. Amateur video played of a drunken Kelly skipping around a park, singing some drunken song. It showed a couple cops running up to him and trying to restrain him. The video stopped suddenly. "We can't show anymore because Kelly says some real bad stuff about those cops' mothers."
"This is not happening..." Kelly moaned.
"Of course, there's this famous rant." Paul added. "Play it Sam!" Another amateur video played, this time Kelly in Cleveland. He was claiming that Kid Razor was a mutant. He was behind chicken wire, because the people watching were booing and throwing stuff, including chickens. Kid Razor appeared, sneaking up behind Kelly, and tapping his shoulder. When Kelly turned, Razor nailed him with a superkick. The tape ended.
"THAT WAS NOT FUNNY!!!" Kelly roared at a laughing Paul and Todd.
"Okay, let's show him at graduation!" Todd laughed. Another video played. It was of Kelly's high school graduation. The principal held out the diploma. A drunk, stoned Kelly staggered on the stage, and kissed the principal before snatching the diploma. Kelly staggered and slurred and burped.
"Hey lady." He pointed to a teacher. "Come over here and give me a" The tape stopped.
"We can't show anymore." Paul grimaced. "It gets rather...uh..."
"Too intense for family audiences?" Todd suggested.
"Yup." Paul nodded. "Your parents were reeeeeal proud, Kel. Can I call you Kel?"
"Oh God why?" Kelly moaned. "Why won't you monsters leave me alone?"
"Because you're a jerk, and a bigot." Todd answered.
"Not the loveable Archie Bunker-type of bigot." Paul added.
"Thank you Paul. We're talking the mean type. You say all mutants are bad." Todd added.
"Well, aren't you?" Kelly asked.
"No, you dope!" Todd snapped. "We're actually good folks. Chicks love Paul." Paul beamed proudly. "He don't have a little black book, yo. He got a big black encyclopedia."
"Why do you hate mutants, Kel?" Paul wondered.
"Because you're all monsters and genetic abominations." Kelly replied.
"Not according to this!" Todd grinned. Another amateur video played. It was Kelly in his hotel room, with a bottle of scotch.
"It's not fair!" Kelly moaned with a slur. "How come dem mutants get it made! I mean they gets all sorts of cool powers and stuff! Me? I can't even get girls! The kid with the purple thing on his eye, he gets hundreds of girls in his sleep! It's not fair! It's not fair!" The tape stopped.
"In case you all need a translation, that means he's jealous, yo." Todd laughed.
"Kel?" Paul noticed Kelly had fainted. "Kel? Kel?? Hello." He gave Kelly a light kick.
"Anyway, this is Todd Tolensky." Todd waved.
"And I'm Paul Stanley Starr." Paul waved. "Hope you enjoyed our little presentation! Hey Todd, how about you grab Al and I get the X-Babes, and we go to that club over in London?"
"Cool, yo!" Todd and Paul ran off.
Hope you enjoyed the little special epilogue! This is L1701E, hoping to see you all soon!!
To Wizard1: Hope Craig don't catch ya! Here's hopin' Beach Head don't find ya either.
To JCKIDSMART: Here's your humiliating Kelly! A short little special epilogue! I almost forgot about this! *laughs sheepishly* It includes why I think Kelly hates mutants.
To RogueFanKC: Yeah, that episode was the inspiration for this whole fic!
Chapter 10: Humiliation on TV! PSA gone wrong!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"And now, a message from United States Senator Robert Kelly." An announcer said, as the TV displayed the seal of the United States Senate. Kelly appeared, smiling, in a suit, and behind a podium.
"Good evening, my fellow Americans. I'd like to address..." He was interrupted by the sound of a door slamming and some voices.
"Hey, Kelly yo!"
"How ya doin'!"
"Oh no." Kelly moaned as Toad and Paul appeared on the screen.
"Hey folks! Sorry folks, but we thought you'd like to hear something else besides the average boring political speech that in the end, no one really understands." Paul grinned. He patted Kelly's back. "Look, if you want the people to like you, they have to get to know you."
"PICTURE TIME!!!" Todd held up a stack of photos.
"Oh no..." Kelly moaned.
"Fist, you gotta show baby pictures." Paul grinned. Todd put a digitally- altered photo on the camera's view. It was the classic baby-on-a-bearskin, with Kelly's head on it. He showed the photo for a few seconds, then put it away. Kelly looked traumatized.
"Now show 'em a high school photo." Paul said. Todd held up a photo of a teenage Kelly. His face had the WORST case of acne ever, and he looked real drunk. "That's his senior class photo, believe it or not folks." Paul told the viewers.
"Oh God." Kelly murmured.
"Okay, now let's see you..." Paul noticed something. He looked behind the podium. "Dude, you forgot to put pants on."
"What the--?" Kelly looked down and he blushed with embarrassment. "Aw shoot." Todd shook his head in shame.
"Yo, just because you're standing behind a podium, that does not give you the right to prance around in your boxers."
"I DO NOT PRANCE!!!" Kelly snapped.
"Not according to this footage!" Paul grinned.
"Play it, Sam!" Todd grinned. Amateur video played of a drunken Kelly skipping around a park, singing some drunken song. It showed a couple cops running up to him and trying to restrain him. The video stopped suddenly. "We can't show anymore because Kelly says some real bad stuff about those cops' mothers."
"This is not happening..." Kelly moaned.
"Of course, there's this famous rant." Paul added. "Play it Sam!" Another amateur video played, this time Kelly in Cleveland. He was claiming that Kid Razor was a mutant. He was behind chicken wire, because the people watching were booing and throwing stuff, including chickens. Kid Razor appeared, sneaking up behind Kelly, and tapping his shoulder. When Kelly turned, Razor nailed him with a superkick. The tape ended.
"THAT WAS NOT FUNNY!!!" Kelly roared at a laughing Paul and Todd.
"Okay, let's show him at graduation!" Todd laughed. Another video played. It was of Kelly's high school graduation. The principal held out the diploma. A drunk, stoned Kelly staggered on the stage, and kissed the principal before snatching the diploma. Kelly staggered and slurred and burped.
"Hey lady." He pointed to a teacher. "Come over here and give me a" The tape stopped.
"We can't show anymore." Paul grimaced. "It gets rather...uh..."
"Too intense for family audiences?" Todd suggested.
"Yup." Paul nodded. "Your parents were reeeeeal proud, Kel. Can I call you Kel?"
"Oh God why?" Kelly moaned. "Why won't you monsters leave me alone?"
"Because you're a jerk, and a bigot." Todd answered.
"Not the loveable Archie Bunker-type of bigot." Paul added.
"Thank you Paul. We're talking the mean type. You say all mutants are bad." Todd added.
"Well, aren't you?" Kelly asked.
"No, you dope!" Todd snapped. "We're actually good folks. Chicks love Paul." Paul beamed proudly. "He don't have a little black book, yo. He got a big black encyclopedia."
"Why do you hate mutants, Kel?" Paul wondered.
"Because you're all monsters and genetic abominations." Kelly replied.
"Not according to this!" Todd grinned. Another amateur video played. It was Kelly in his hotel room, with a bottle of scotch.
"It's not fair!" Kelly moaned with a slur. "How come dem mutants get it made! I mean they gets all sorts of cool powers and stuff! Me? I can't even get girls! The kid with the purple thing on his eye, he gets hundreds of girls in his sleep! It's not fair! It's not fair!" The tape stopped.
"In case you all need a translation, that means he's jealous, yo." Todd laughed.
"Kel?" Paul noticed Kelly had fainted. "Kel? Kel?? Hello." He gave Kelly a light kick.
"Anyway, this is Todd Tolensky." Todd waved.
"And I'm Paul Stanley Starr." Paul waved. "Hope you enjoyed our little presentation! Hey Todd, how about you grab Al and I get the X-Babes, and we go to that club over in London?"
"Cool, yo!" Todd and Paul ran off.
Hope you enjoyed the little special epilogue! This is L1701E, hoping to see you all soon!!