Update chapter 21
Elizabeth kept to her rooms that afternoon so that she could ponder all that Mr. Darcy had explained. She had no doubt that he had spoken truthfully, and now she needed to rethink her impressions of him completely. He was proud, but he likely had reason to be. However, he was not arrogant. He was thoughtful and reserved. If he did not have something to say, he said nothing. If only Lady Catherine or Mrs. Bennet would do the same, Elizabeth thought with a small laugh under her breath.
She also had seen that he was polite and kind to the servants. Being stuck in such intimate quarters, she could see his interactions that she had not been privy to before. The servants at Rosings clearly thought well of him and the colonel. She had heard them speaking around corners a few times, and her maid had let a few instances spill as she had brushed Elizabeth's hair. Mr. Darcy allowed them time off for family matters and illness, and he was generous to hire servants from families that needed it most, provided they worked well. It was odd that Mr. Darcy dealt with most of the hiring for Rosings when it should be Lady Catherine or Miss de Bourgh, but there seemed to be an effective process in place.
His worst offenses had been completely cleared up. He had apologized for offending her at the assembly and had given a reason for his ill humor. Poor Miss Darcy! Her pity turned to anger as she thought how easily Mr. Wickham had filled her with lies to promote his own well-being in the community. For that was all it could have been. Elizabeth could not think of it without abhorrence that she had been so easily led.
Her solitude was interrupted by a maid who brought her a letter from Longbourn. Mary's handwriting told her it would be full of a simple description of what she had missed. She was halfway through the letter when Maria and Charlotte came to check on her.
"Perhaps I should tell my maid to be more discreet when bringing me letters." Elizabeth scoffed half-heartedly when Maria exclaimed she had heard of the letter.
"Oh, you cannot have any big secrets to hide. Is the letter from Lydia or Kitty?" Maria plopped herself on Elizabeth's bed and supported her head with her hands as she watched Elizabeth.
Rolling her eyes lightly, though not really vexed, Elizabeth said, "Mary writes that the regiment is to leave for Brighton soon. She hopes their removal will give Lydia and Kitty time for reflection about how their behavior is seen in Meryton."
Maria rolled onto her back in exasperation. "I shall miss their departure! How shall I catch a husband if there are no officers in the village?"
This made Elizabeth laugh heartily. "Most of the officers cannot afford a wife, so you were unlikely to catch a husband among them anyway. You had better spend your time getting ready for the ball. Perhaps you will catch a rich husband who lives close to Rosings. Your sister would enjoy being permanently close to you."
Maria leapt up. "I shall catch a rich husband at the ball! Oh how Kitty and Lydia would envy me then. I shall write to them and make them green with jealousy." She was already out the door by the time she finished speaking, making Charlotte laugh.
"My sister would be a pleasant addition to the neighborhood, but I doubt her behavior will truly catch the eye of anyone." She turned to Elizabeth with a smile. "But we have a moment alone now. Shall we discuss the events of this morning. You have been very pensive." Elizabeth began to protest but Charlotte interrupted her with, "You would never sit so long in your chambers if you did not wish for solitude. If you go for a walk, it is safe to say you will run into Mr. Darcy." She paused to take in Elizabeth's blush. "It would be better to speak of whatever is troubling you, however, I understand if you are not ready yet."
She rose to leave, but Elizabeth stopped her. "You have been a good friend Charlotte, most of what I have to relate is not my story to tell. Mr. Darcy has explained away most of my dislike of him and I am simply troubled that I did not understand Wickham…" She paused to gather her thoughts. "He used me to ingratiate himself into society, and I was a willing victim. I thought it showed he liked me."
"You cared for Wickham." Charlotte stated.
Elizabeth laughed. "Yes, when I thought him cruelly used. However, I never loved him. I was happy to think well of him when I thought he had been abused by Mr. Darcy. When Miss King became engaged to him, I was happy for them both. Now," She paused and looked at her letter, "Miss King has been taken away by her uncle and is safe. I am unmoved, other than to say Miss King has had a narrow escape."
Now Charlotte truly was curious, but Elizabeth did not feel ready to share. "I am not master enough of myself to know what I can share. As I said, this is Mr. Darcy's secret."
"Wickham is a villain then?" Charlotte asked.
"Yes!" Elizabeth said emphatically, then tempered her outburst by adding, "He is not safe company, that is for sure. I hope the regiment leaves before anyone can be truly harmed by him."
Charlotte looked thoughtful. "Perhaps I ought to ask my father to remind the shopkeepers to oversee their debts owed from the officers before the decamp. I doubt Wickham is the only one who will leave debts behind, and perhaps Colonel Forster can do something to force them to pay up."
Elizabeth smiled. "That is a good plan. It will help, even if only a little." She frowned as she realized a gambler would likely leave many debts behind. She hoped her little town had not been imposed on so.
They sat there in silence for a few minutes while they contemplated what they had learned. Eventually, Charlotte asked Elizabeth if her opinion of Mr. Darcy had changed enough to think of marrying him.
"Charlotte, must we have this conversation every day? No, I do not love him. He is a good person and honorable, but that is not love."
"If you were forced to marry him to save your reputation, would you consent?"
Elizabeth closed her eyes as the memory of the field workers returned. "My opinion does not matter. He would never lower himself to offer for me."
"There is talk in the town, Elizabeth. They are saying you are secretly engaged to him."
Elizabeth laughed and tried to ignore the fact that her laugh sounded flat even to her own ears. "I am not engaged to anyone, and that is not scandalous enough for us to consider this."
"If he is unaware of the rumors, his cousin is not."
"Charlotte, he is of a much higher society than I. You say he has admired me for some time, and I am beginning to share your opinion." She paused as the memory of his admiration among the cherry blossoms came into her mind. "However, in all that time, he has never even hinted to me that he cares."
"Perhaps you should speak with him about the rumors."
"No! That would make him think I am trying to trap him. It is not my place to force his hand. He would despise me. Charlotte, please, do not speak to me of this further." She looked at the clock out of annoyance, and the time surprised her. "Why are we not dressing for dinner? We shall be late."
Elizabeth rose to her feet, but Charlotte stalled her by taking her hand. "The rain fell as we hurried home. We did not get very wet, but Lady Catherine is incensed that her daughter got so wet that she could become ill. She has decided we shall all eat in our rooms so that we can contain any illness that may arise."
Distressed, Elizabeth fell back in her seat. "I hope Miss de Bourgh does not catch a cold."
Charlotte waved off her worry. "The rain was trifling, as Colonel Fitzwilliam was quick with the carriage, so we only returned to Rosings as the worst drops began to fall. You and I have survived far worse drenchings without falling ill."
Elizabeth laughed, remembering a time when they had been playing by the river and had fallen in as children. They arrived at Longbourn chilled to the bone and dripping all over Mrs. Bennet's rugs with a horrid stench from the river. The rain that had started when they had climbed out of the river had not cleaned them of the mud.
Charlotte looked at her friend as though she had grown two heads, so Elizabeth explained her memory, causing them to laugh over old times long gone. "I shall have to tell Anne about that memory when she is feeling better. Perhaps I could go read to her." She was about to rise again when Charlotte stopped her again.
"No one is allowed in her chamber. Your story will have to wait until Friday, according to Colonel Fitzwilliam, who is used to such restrictions. This is apparently not the first time he has taken her out in the phaeton and gotten wet. He has assured me that she will be bored and healthy."
They were interrupted by the arrival of Elizabeth's dinner tray. Charlotte sat with her and snagged bits and pieces of bread and cheese while Elizabeth explained how Mr. Darcy had done his best to keep them dry as they walked home. As Charlotte listened, she was happy to hear Elizabeth's opinion of the man had changed, even if it could not yet be called love. It appeared Elizabeth was on her way to becoming Mrs. Darcy, if only Mr. Darcy would propose.
AN: I hope you like this. I have the next chapter ready and is just going through my beta editor to be posted when she is ready. I am excited to see things progress between our couple.