I wanted to go to the Brooklyn Pier, but Spot was sure to be there on his perch on top of the crates. You know what? Who cares? I really wanted to put my feet in the water. Besides, just looking into the water always made me feel better.

I just gave in and went. When I got to the pier, I took off my shoes and rolled up my pants. (roll up your shorts!) I put my feet into the water. I looked out; it was spectacular. It was about one o'clock and the sun was reflecting off the gentle waves. There was a slight breeze. It felt good since it was so hot out. I started to feel better almost instantly because I felt at ease with the water that was around me. I just sighed taking in the beauty. I just sat there looking out into the water and brushing my feet around in it.

I thought about my family. I wondered if they missed me; I doubted it though. Maybe my brother, he was the one who was nicest to me. I loved him. He taught me how to defend myself. Plus, he would comfort me after my parents would yell at me and bruise me for something either he or my sister did. My parents thought Greg and Tracy were perfect and could do no harm. I honestly thought the only thing they would miss is the house always being cleaned since I was the only one willing to clean it.

I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I wanted a real family that cared, someone who really loved me for me. I feared, however, that my journal was my only friend. I bought it with money I stole from my parents. I remember having to sneak out to buy it. They wouldn't get anything for me that was new. You would think with all the money they had, they wouldn't care, but it was quite the contrary.

"What did I do wrong?" I said to myself tears beginning to stream. "Why can't they love me?" I put my face in my hands. "I just don't understand!" I took my hands off my face and hit my knees. I was now crying uncontrollably.

"Lightenin? Youse okay?"

I looked up and saw Spot looking at me seriously concerned. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said looking away and whipping my tears.

"No youse not," I heard him say. He grabbed my shoulders making me look at him. He was now sitting next to me looking into my eyes. "Youse neva cry. Even if ya get beatin inta a pulp."

"Everyone crys, Spot." I said looking away again. I didn't want him to be there. I wanted to cry alone. No body needed to worry about me.

"Yeah, and when dey do it's usually fer a reason." He took one of his hands off my shoulder and grabbed my face and turned it to look at him. His beautiful eyes were staring me down searching for what the source of my despair was.

I couldn't take the look he was giving me so I tore my face from his grip and backed up a bit. "Spot, it doesn't concern you. Please leave me be."

"Oh yes it does! Youse one a me newsies! Ise care for you, Lightenin. Please tell me what's wrong," he said again grabbing my arms and turning me twards him.

I refused to look at him. "Spot, please," I pleaded still crying. I had a sort of defeated sound in my voice. I felt his hands release my shoulders. Instead of leavubg me, however, he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I didn't bother to break free; I just cried into his chest.

I felt him kiss the top of my head. "Lightenin, it's ok okay. Ise won't let anytin happen to ya. Just tells me what's wrong."

I just looked up at Spot, and he waited.