As soon as I got home, I called up Paige, Terri and Stacy so I could tell them about my little outing with Jamal. Terri, the careful one, told me to watch out because he is older and stronger than me, but I just dismissed her.
Today is October 16th and I've been on five dates with Jamal already, so that means we're official. It's nice though, because on each date we get really close to doing it, but when I tell him to stop, he stops. After school, I was waiting by the doors for Jamal to bring his car around. So, my friend Jimmy waited with me and was talking and laughing with me. When Jamal brought his car around, I waved goodbye to Jimmy and got in the car. The windows of the car were tinted so that the outside wall couldn't see in.
"Who was that guy?" Jamal asked.
"Oh…him? That's just an old friend of mine, we've been friends since like forever," I replied.
"I don't want you talking to him," Jamal demanded.
"Do I sense jealousy here?" I teased as I moved in to kiss him, but all I saw was the back of his hand as it smacked down. The next thing I know, my head is crouched down and I felt as if someone placed a hot iron on the left side of my face and the only thing to cool it off were the tears rushing out of my eyes. Jamal drove off onto the road and the ride was in silence till we got to my apartment and into my room. My 25 year old sister, who I live with, doesn't mind him in my room because she is still young and hip. At first, he helped me with my homework, and then we turned on the television and watched it in silence. After a while, I turned around to him.
"Why d-did you slap me?" I asked with tears coming from my eyes.
"Listen, I'm sorry, I was just upset and I won't do it again," he answered.
I accepted the apology just because I loved him. Before he left, he kissed me and told me he loved me.
Later that night, I called my girl Terri and told her about the incident with Jamal. She told me to watch out because it sounds to her like the beginning of an 'abusive relationship.' "You're just jealous cause you don't have a boyfriend!" I screamed at her.
'DIAL TONE!' "Hello…hello…are you there?" I asked. That was the dial tone. She must be mad crazy because she just dissed me. I dialed her number again ready to cuss her. When she said hello, it sounded as if she had been crying.
"Sorry," I said to the phone, but dropped before she could reply.
Today is October 31st, a.k.a Halloween, and I'm dressed as Lil' Kim with my short tube top, my Monica-like skirt and my high heeled stiletto boots. When Jamal came up to get me and Terri (she called me later and we made up), I opened the door for him.
When he saw me he said, "I don't want you dressed like that."
"But, I'm dressed as Lil' Kim," I replied.
"Don't talk back to me," he screamed.
"But…" I said while walking away.
Before I could finish, he grabbed me by both shoulders, and threw me on the wall. I thought I was going to get a blow in the head. It would be the fourth time that week and I haven't told anyone. I tried to fight it, but the tears busted out of my eyes, even though my eyes were closed. Expecting a punch when he let my shoulders go, all I felt was a hug. When I opened my eyes, I saw Terri's concerned face and I figured he must've seen her too.
"Go get yourself cleaned," he said.
Terri walked me to the washroom and I locked the door behind me. We both sat on the carpeted floor. I was crying my eyes out.
"Why does he keep hitting and hurting me?" I asked to no one in particular.
"I thought he only hit you that one time," she said.
"No, this is the 4th time," I told her.
"Wow, maybe you should tell Shanice," she suggested.
"I can't," I said, "if I do, then I'll have to break up with him."
"Well, you should break up with him if you want him to stop hurting you, or you can confront him about it," she said.
Terri left the washroom and I followed behind her. She glared at Jamal and I knew that was going to get me in a whole lot of trouble.
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