Disclaimer: Yes, well, I wrote this after reading a couple of HP stories and I decided to take a stab. This is about a Fred Weasley, and how he fell in love with "the one" for him, but with a much nicer take (in my mind). Slightly cynical, but please read and review!
She
smiled at me. God, I love that smile. It's just one of those
smiles. She doesn't use it that much, but when she does, the heavens open
up and I don't feel like so much of a vampire anymore.
Sometimes
I think she's smiling just for me. I know she's smiling at me, but
I would like to know if she's smiling for me. Never as in love,
though. She'd never fall in love with me. We're best friends, so no
crossing that line. It's just one of those fucking unwritten rules, and
it bugs me. Why in god's name does it bother me? Gee, maybe because
I wish it hadn't been...well...unwritten…um...you know what I mean.
Normally
I don't go to pieces like this. I just am not the kind of guy who does
that sort of thing. Emotions and I never really got on well. Well,
at least not these kind of emotions.
Usually,
if I wanted a girl, I could have her-- just like that. I rule the school
with my brother, and whatever I want, I get -– period. Maybe that's why I
got tired of that sick game. She told me that stupid saying, and I
believed her: "The only things in life that are worth having are the
things you've got to work for." Great, really, that's very nice.
Then
again, that would explain a lot, particularly why I'm never happy with what I
do. Playing pranks, getting girls, having the best time -- it just wasn't
ever much fun because I got it all so easily. Whatever Fred Weasley wanted, Fred Weasley
got. Of course, up until a while ago.
It's
hard falling for the girl who is the exact opposite of you. Everything
that I am, she's not. I'm popular, she's unpopular; I'm at the top of my
game; she's probably at the lowest she's ever been -- we're nothing
alike. And that attracts me. Hell, it makes me want to find out
more about her. I'm never taken much of an interest in people like that.
I'm
not saying that I'm selfish. The truth is I'm a pretty good person.
I just don't think that I'm done good things. That's all.
When
I told George about her, he practically wet himself (I was worried, because I'm
the one who has to do the laundry). Sure, he knew who she was.
Everyone really knew who she was. However, no one really knew
her. To all of my friends, and even me at the time, she was just the
weird Irish girl who was really smart, sarcastic, and liked to piss off all of
the teachers (particularly Snape). George began
to lecture me--after the close encounter with peeing--about how she was wrong
for me, I was just trying to get a girl, and why didn't I go out with nice
Angelina?
Don't
get me wrong, Angelina is nice. Just not my type.
I need a girl that I can work at, and everyone already thinks Angelina is
perfect. Perfect=boring. Yeah, like I need anymore boredom in my
life, and we all know where the boring personality adds up in the end.
Hey! I'm 16! So what if I think about that?! I want some
action, too!
She's
not boring, though. In fact, she's anything but boring. She's
funny, smart, and God, damn me if I'm wrong, beautiful. Not in the
pretty, preppy way beautiful, either. She's got that dark, Greek/Irish
look to her that really draws me in. In fact, sometimes during dinner I
find myself getting lost in her eyes...up until the point when George hits me
on the head and calls me an idiot. Then I just get lost in trying to beat
him up.
Maybe
liking her is wrong, but I just can't bring myself to stop. Every fucking
time she smiles, I find my heart beating twice the normal rate and my skin
itches in a warm, fuzzy way. Sort of like a teddy bear.
And
when she isn't smiling, I'm thinking about her smile. It's not just her
smile, either. I just haven't seen her frown yet. Maybe this all
sounds like the ramblings of a fool in love, but for some silly reason, it
feels like more.
I
feel her hurt; I feel her pain, and all because of that smile. How many
other people know about her? At least, what I know. I know her
every secret, her every memory; her every weakness. I know what she went
through, and it makes me wonder how the hell she can still smile? Especially if she's smiling at me?
I've
never found myself speechless around a girl, but every time I talk to Liz
there's a lump in my throat. I wish I could talk to her; wish I could
expose the darker Fred Weasley.
It
might even surprise her that Fred Weasley hasn't had
an easy life. Might make her cry, which is why I'm holding back. I
can't bear to see her cry, especially when it's my fault. She wouldn't
cry in front of me, though. Never would she cry in front of me.
Wonder why that is.
Now
I'm delving into self-pity. Thinking about how my life turned out and all
of my decisions I've made has always gotten me down. Why? Well,
because I've made shitty ones. Every time I get close to someone and pour
my heart out, something in the back of my mind pulls me back. It's not
one of those classic "can't open up" things, because I'm just not
into being straightforward and normal. I won't be classified.
Yet,
this life I'm leading is less than satisfactory. I'm smart,
"handsome", funny, and interesting, but where will that get me?
My depth and opinions have been shunned so that the image of the perfect best
friend, the perfect boyfriend, etc. could have been created.
Even
George feels this way sometimes, but he would never admit it. He never
liked talking about his feelings to me, not that that ever stopped us.
We're so close that I can read his mind, feel what he feels; see what he
sees. Maybe it's because we're twins, but I can't say I really
care. I never bothered to figure it out.
She
saw through it all, too. She knows the real Fred Weasley,
and that intimidates me. I've never been afraid before, and now I'm
afraid of a girl. A tough one, but she's still just a girl.
All right, maybe not just a girl. Not to me, at least. I won't tell her that, though. However, maybe next time she smiles, I'll smile back.
