JUDAS' KISS
Is it really in my power to free you from the prison that Section has built around you? If it isn't, what I'm about to do is without importance. But if it is, how can I know for sure?
I'm unable to see any other path but the one I'm taking now. Your shoulders are tense as you point your gun at a moving flag. When you turn around and see me, there's fleeting shame in the crease of your mouth. You are a proud man, and I have no words to bring consolation to your pride or assuage your fear.
I open my arms to you instead, and you seek comfort there as if you were my son, not my lover.
Brown locks, your locks, tickle pleasantly on my face while I hug you. Your smell, your hands on my waist, my arms around your neck, my eyes focusing on the blue expanse of sea all round us.
These things are so real. Everything will be gone so very soon. For a while, I feel and think of nothing but your warm flesh under my fingertips and your hair against my cheek. I can't move away but you do it for me.
You smile and touch me, discreetly as you always do. I know you are all right and therefore I'm all right too. You kiss me. I kiss you back. It's short and soft. When you take my hand and lead me downstairs, I don't feel guilt. I feel nothing but the numbness I created inside myself. I let you push me on the bed, grateful for your urgency. I would not be able to handle it, if you were gentle now Right now I would break.
I hear you calling my name as if from far away while you leave signs of your presence along whole my body. You look me and I wonder what you see.
How can I love you and still lie? But at the same time, how can I not lie? How can I not love somebody like you?
I look at you and know what is happening.
I'll break; I will come apart underneath you. I'll let you think that my anguish is only impatience, that my despair is just desire. I'm already helping you rush to reach the high pinnacle where passion makes everything look beautiful and pure.
You are so strong.
You will be free, although without me, and you'll be fine and then, finally, so will I.
Is it really in my power to free you from the prison that Section has built around you? If it isn't, what I'm about to do is without importance. But if it is, how can I know for sure?
I'm unable to see any other path but the one I'm taking now. Your shoulders are tense as you point your gun at a moving flag. When you turn around and see me, there's fleeting shame in the crease of your mouth. You are a proud man, and I have no words to bring consolation to your pride or assuage your fear.
I open my arms to you instead, and you seek comfort there as if you were my son, not my lover.
Brown locks, your locks, tickle pleasantly on my face while I hug you. Your smell, your hands on my waist, my arms around your neck, my eyes focusing on the blue expanse of sea all round us.
These things are so real. Everything will be gone so very soon. For a while, I feel and think of nothing but your warm flesh under my fingertips and your hair against my cheek. I can't move away but you do it for me.
You smile and touch me, discreetly as you always do. I know you are all right and therefore I'm all right too. You kiss me. I kiss you back. It's short and soft. When you take my hand and lead me downstairs, I don't feel guilt. I feel nothing but the numbness I created inside myself. I let you push me on the bed, grateful for your urgency. I would not be able to handle it, if you were gentle now Right now I would break.
I hear you calling my name as if from far away while you leave signs of your presence along whole my body. You look me and I wonder what you see.
How can I love you and still lie? But at the same time, how can I not lie? How can I not love somebody like you?
I look at you and know what is happening.
I'll break; I will come apart underneath you. I'll let you think that my anguish is only impatience, that my despair is just desire. I'm already helping you rush to reach the high pinnacle where passion makes everything look beautiful and pure.
You are so strong.
You will be free, although without me, and you'll be fine and then, finally, so will I.