Chapter six
'My future will not copy fair my past'---
I wrote that once; and thinking at my side
My ministering life-angel justified
The word by his appealing look upcast
To the white throne of God, I turned at last,
And there, instead, saw thee, not unallied
To angels in thy soul! Then I, long tried
By natural ills, received the comfort fast,
While budding, at thy sight, my pilgrim's staff
Gave out green leaves with morning dews impearled.
I seek no copy now of life's first half:
Leave here the pages with long musing curled,
And write me new my future's epigraph,
New angel mine, unhoped for in the world! "Yes?" Diana turned away from the door and gave him a ravishing smile. Feeling his eyes wandering over her slender body she tossed her head and shot a piercing glance right into his heart. Her raven black glossy hair, the sparkling eyes, now smouldering with passions only waiting to be fulfilled remained as bold as they had always been. Diana had never been a woman known for her modesty or quietness. Instead of casting her eyes down she encouraged his passionate glances through long black eyelashes and seeing him not making the first move she came towards him and placed her delicate hands on his shoulders. Startled at her softness at first Alex breathed in her natural perfume and, dazzled by the feeling of white-hot passion burning in his chest at her touch found he locked in her glance of desire. Being brought up in a noble family he had been taught that women were to be treated with respect and always fitting to propriety. Society blessed little tokens but nothing more than flowers, bonbons or little ribbons; there was no harm in loving glances, modest kisses being shared in private or romantic walks under the watchful eye of a chaperone. But Diana was nothing like that at all. Being raised by some rather indifferent relatives after losing her parents and brother in a carriage wreck she detested all those prim and proper boys and was known to be quite a forward girl. Even the circumstances that had led to her betrothal had had the entire town buzzing, not to mention Alex's university. Being asked for her hand in marriage in public and accepting it with as much vigour as she had done surely didn't do a thing to smooth some ruffled feathers. Not that Diana cared one bit what the ton thought of her. She was engaged to Alexander Darcy, oldest son of Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley, and that was all that mattered to her. Pursing her lips she brought her face closer to his and when their lips met she felt her body tingling... Yet her mind was elsewhere... Her mind was with a pair of dark eyes glaring at her sternly only to heighten her desire. A little moan escaped her lips at this thought and, yearning for satisfaction, her body was spooned against her fiancé. Tilting back her head she felt his hungry lips fluttering against her collarbone, her neck and her bare shoulder... It had escaped her notice that he had ripped her bodice over her shoulder in his excitement. Tightening her embrace she allowed him to caress her further, in the meantime she planned the endeavours of the following days. Never before had she inflamed him so. Her anger, the fury blazing in her wild eyes only made her the more desirable to him. Encouraged by her kisses he caressed her with the vigour of a thirsty man lusting for a drop of water. She was his aqua vitae, the only woman he could ever love. Through her he had learned that love was more than blushing and stuttered compliments, that desire was natural and a part of their love. Had he known that even the most intelligent woman couldn't have learned as much by just thinking and reading he might have reacted differently. Like this he attributed her fiery lovemaking to her tempestuous nature, her eagerness to please and love. Had it occurred to him that the woman in his arms wasn't thinking about him despite her eager reactions to his advances the outcome would have been disastrous. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________ "William, are you alright?" Elizabeth asked noticing the shade that had crossed her husband's features. "I beg your pardon?" He was far too absorbed in thoughts of her to pay attention. "I asked if you're alright? You don't look well... If you became sick too..." Her lips started to quiver. For a moment he loathed himself, how on earth was it possible that by mentioning her name only his mind was so deeply disturbed? Was it possible that the misfortunes that had plagued his family recently had weakened his strength? For a second he caught himself blaming her for all the ills that had befallen his loved ones. Not unlike a demon she had come to Pemberley, only destruction on her mind and so far she had succeeded. But he dismissed this notion after an instant for it was too foolish. Why then was he still plagued by those nagging doubts? Who was she? Why had she come into his life? And now he had hurt Elizabeth by thinking of his son's future wife! Had the circumstances been different it would have been laughable. Now all he felt was a bitter aftertaste. "No, I'm alright, my love. It has been a tough day, my love. I believe that it'll be best to go to bed now." Elizabeth nodded but she wasn't convinced. Regarding her husband her intuition had rarely failed her and here everything was screaming Danger! but she couldn't put her finger on it. "We'll have to do the treatments first. I'll go to the kitchen and fetch some water. Poor Mrs. Reynolds is far too worried to do it by herself." Elizabeth rose to her feet but he barred the way sternly. "You're completely exhausted. No, don't even try to convince me. Get ready for bed and I'll fetch the water." Elizabeth smiled thankfully. "Thank you for taking care of us so well..." His face darkened at her remark but seeing her loving smile the iron grip around his heart lightened. Swallowing hard he smiled back. "It's a pleasure!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As he descended the stairs he felt much better. Abby would get well and Elizabeth might still be in time to see her father. They would have to write a letter to Longbourn explaining everything... He had already sent a letter to Tysworth Hall informing Jane and Bingley of everything that had occurred since Diana had arrived at Pemberley but the letter to Longbourn would be even worse... As he opened the door to the kitchen he felt a sting in his heart at the sight revealed by doing so. Memories buried as deeply as the sea were resurfacing and flashed in biting bits before his eyes... ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________ Bingley finally found Aurelia in the library where she was reading yet another novel. At the sight of Bingley storming into the room she jumped to her feet and dropped the book. "What happened?" she cried fearfully. Bingley was gasping but his words were clear. "It's Jane... She needs your help! Where is your mother?" "She went to the village to call on Mrs. Timber and her son. Do you want me to fetch her?" Bingley shook his head violently. "No, Dominic will go and find her. Please hurry! Jane is in a terrible condition!" Without another word Aurelia rushed back the way she had just taken to get to the library. The moment she beheld Jane lying on the sofa she could breathe more freely. There was no sign of cramps or spotting. "I need her smelling salts and some broth. Don't worry, it's just a fainting spell, she'll be alright!" "Are you sure?" Aurelia nodded. "Still, there is no harm in letting my mother examine her. Also, look after Jane's letters. Something in them must have disturbed her deeply!" ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________ Darcy cleared his throat loudly causing the couple in front of him to tear apart violently. His son was clearly flustered while Diana simply smoothed her skirts and gave him a defiant glare. "Father, we... it's not what you think..." Alex mustered all his strength to address his father. "I'd be grateful to you if you stopped putting pictures in my head or thoughts in my mind!" Darcy snapped back. The sight of her bare shoulder, the torn material barely covering her silky skin... It was too much! "Mr. Darcy, may I speak?" It was more of a command than a question and it put fuel on his anger. "Only if I ask you!" he shot back curtly. "Father!" Alex was aghast at his display of fury. "Alex, what do you think you're doing? You're not married yet and you're in the kitchen! Everyone might have come in and what then? Tell me, my grown up son, are you prepared for every consequence?" Alex eyes sought Diana's face but she was still smouldering with anger at being rejected like this. "Consequences?" he gulped. "Precisely, that's what I'm talking about. If I had not surprised you like this, where would this have ended? Yes, one must face such possibilities! I want you to go upstairs and think about what I told you. Go now!" he dismissed him coldly. "Miss Diana, we'll talk tomorrow. I have to go upstairs and take care of Abigail. Good night!" He watched her leave without as much as giving him another glance. Good riddance! his mind congratulated him while his thoughts objected her cruelty most violently. ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________ After applying the treatments to their daughter both fell into bed being completely exhausted. Elizabeth hummed one of Abby's favourite tunes to her daughter. "I've always loved your humming..." Darcy sighed. "It's so peaceful and gentle..." "Thank you, William. But I want you to do me a favour, please?" "You know I can't refuse you!" He smiled. "Will you tell me what is on your mind?" His body stiffened at her touch. "What are you talking about?" "You're so different... You haven't been that distant ever since...Hunsford..." "Do you have to bring this up now?" his voice rose in anger. "I'm concerned about you!" "There is nothing to worry about! Now let it be!" He moved away from her curtly. But unlike the last time she came after him and leaned her hot face against his shoulder. "No, don't go back to that place! We've been through too much for you to turn your back on me! Tell me what's hurting you!" Her voice was veiled with tears. "What are you talking about?" he responded icily. "Before we finally understood each other you were so aloof, so distant and so buried in your past. Don't go back there! I'm here no to ease the pain if something is troubling you! Don't you trust me anymore?" A heavy silence was between them, he was avoiding her eyes. Finally she rolled back to her side of the bed. "I hardly know you anymore..." Her words broke through the icy walls surrounding his inner thoughts. I share this sentiment, my love. I hardly recognize myself anymore...
I wrote that once; and thinking at my side
My ministering life-angel justified
The word by his appealing look upcast
To the white throne of God, I turned at last,
And there, instead, saw thee, not unallied
To angels in thy soul! Then I, long tried
By natural ills, received the comfort fast,
While budding, at thy sight, my pilgrim's staff
Gave out green leaves with morning dews impearled.
I seek no copy now of life's first half:
Leave here the pages with long musing curled,
And write me new my future's epigraph,
New angel mine, unhoped for in the world! "Yes?" Diana turned away from the door and gave him a ravishing smile. Feeling his eyes wandering over her slender body she tossed her head and shot a piercing glance right into his heart. Her raven black glossy hair, the sparkling eyes, now smouldering with passions only waiting to be fulfilled remained as bold as they had always been. Diana had never been a woman known for her modesty or quietness. Instead of casting her eyes down she encouraged his passionate glances through long black eyelashes and seeing him not making the first move she came towards him and placed her delicate hands on his shoulders. Startled at her softness at first Alex breathed in her natural perfume and, dazzled by the feeling of white-hot passion burning in his chest at her touch found he locked in her glance of desire. Being brought up in a noble family he had been taught that women were to be treated with respect and always fitting to propriety. Society blessed little tokens but nothing more than flowers, bonbons or little ribbons; there was no harm in loving glances, modest kisses being shared in private or romantic walks under the watchful eye of a chaperone. But Diana was nothing like that at all. Being raised by some rather indifferent relatives after losing her parents and brother in a carriage wreck she detested all those prim and proper boys and was known to be quite a forward girl. Even the circumstances that had led to her betrothal had had the entire town buzzing, not to mention Alex's university. Being asked for her hand in marriage in public and accepting it with as much vigour as she had done surely didn't do a thing to smooth some ruffled feathers. Not that Diana cared one bit what the ton thought of her. She was engaged to Alexander Darcy, oldest son of Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley, and that was all that mattered to her. Pursing her lips she brought her face closer to his and when their lips met she felt her body tingling... Yet her mind was elsewhere... Her mind was with a pair of dark eyes glaring at her sternly only to heighten her desire. A little moan escaped her lips at this thought and, yearning for satisfaction, her body was spooned against her fiancé. Tilting back her head she felt his hungry lips fluttering against her collarbone, her neck and her bare shoulder... It had escaped her notice that he had ripped her bodice over her shoulder in his excitement. Tightening her embrace she allowed him to caress her further, in the meantime she planned the endeavours of the following days. Never before had she inflamed him so. Her anger, the fury blazing in her wild eyes only made her the more desirable to him. Encouraged by her kisses he caressed her with the vigour of a thirsty man lusting for a drop of water. She was his aqua vitae, the only woman he could ever love. Through her he had learned that love was more than blushing and stuttered compliments, that desire was natural and a part of their love. Had he known that even the most intelligent woman couldn't have learned as much by just thinking and reading he might have reacted differently. Like this he attributed her fiery lovemaking to her tempestuous nature, her eagerness to please and love. Had it occurred to him that the woman in his arms wasn't thinking about him despite her eager reactions to his advances the outcome would have been disastrous. ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________ "William, are you alright?" Elizabeth asked noticing the shade that had crossed her husband's features. "I beg your pardon?" He was far too absorbed in thoughts of her to pay attention. "I asked if you're alright? You don't look well... If you became sick too..." Her lips started to quiver. For a moment he loathed himself, how on earth was it possible that by mentioning her name only his mind was so deeply disturbed? Was it possible that the misfortunes that had plagued his family recently had weakened his strength? For a second he caught himself blaming her for all the ills that had befallen his loved ones. Not unlike a demon she had come to Pemberley, only destruction on her mind and so far she had succeeded. But he dismissed this notion after an instant for it was too foolish. Why then was he still plagued by those nagging doubts? Who was she? Why had she come into his life? And now he had hurt Elizabeth by thinking of his son's future wife! Had the circumstances been different it would have been laughable. Now all he felt was a bitter aftertaste. "No, I'm alright, my love. It has been a tough day, my love. I believe that it'll be best to go to bed now." Elizabeth nodded but she wasn't convinced. Regarding her husband her intuition had rarely failed her and here everything was screaming Danger! but she couldn't put her finger on it. "We'll have to do the treatments first. I'll go to the kitchen and fetch some water. Poor Mrs. Reynolds is far too worried to do it by herself." Elizabeth rose to her feet but he barred the way sternly. "You're completely exhausted. No, don't even try to convince me. Get ready for bed and I'll fetch the water." Elizabeth smiled thankfully. "Thank you for taking care of us so well..." His face darkened at her remark but seeing her loving smile the iron grip around his heart lightened. Swallowing hard he smiled back. "It's a pleasure!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As he descended the stairs he felt much better. Abby would get well and Elizabeth might still be in time to see her father. They would have to write a letter to Longbourn explaining everything... He had already sent a letter to Tysworth Hall informing Jane and Bingley of everything that had occurred since Diana had arrived at Pemberley but the letter to Longbourn would be even worse... As he opened the door to the kitchen he felt a sting in his heart at the sight revealed by doing so. Memories buried as deeply as the sea were resurfacing and flashed in biting bits before his eyes... ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________ Bingley finally found Aurelia in the library where she was reading yet another novel. At the sight of Bingley storming into the room she jumped to her feet and dropped the book. "What happened?" she cried fearfully. Bingley was gasping but his words were clear. "It's Jane... She needs your help! Where is your mother?" "She went to the village to call on Mrs. Timber and her son. Do you want me to fetch her?" Bingley shook his head violently. "No, Dominic will go and find her. Please hurry! Jane is in a terrible condition!" Without another word Aurelia rushed back the way she had just taken to get to the library. The moment she beheld Jane lying on the sofa she could breathe more freely. There was no sign of cramps or spotting. "I need her smelling salts and some broth. Don't worry, it's just a fainting spell, she'll be alright!" "Are you sure?" Aurelia nodded. "Still, there is no harm in letting my mother examine her. Also, look after Jane's letters. Something in them must have disturbed her deeply!" ____________________________________________________________________________ __________________ Darcy cleared his throat loudly causing the couple in front of him to tear apart violently. His son was clearly flustered while Diana simply smoothed her skirts and gave him a defiant glare. "Father, we... it's not what you think..." Alex mustered all his strength to address his father. "I'd be grateful to you if you stopped putting pictures in my head or thoughts in my mind!" Darcy snapped back. The sight of her bare shoulder, the torn material barely covering her silky skin... It was too much! "Mr. Darcy, may I speak?" It was more of a command than a question and it put fuel on his anger. "Only if I ask you!" he shot back curtly. "Father!" Alex was aghast at his display of fury. "Alex, what do you think you're doing? You're not married yet and you're in the kitchen! Everyone might have come in and what then? Tell me, my grown up son, are you prepared for every consequence?" Alex eyes sought Diana's face but she was still smouldering with anger at being rejected like this. "Consequences?" he gulped. "Precisely, that's what I'm talking about. If I had not surprised you like this, where would this have ended? Yes, one must face such possibilities! I want you to go upstairs and think about what I told you. Go now!" he dismissed him coldly. "Miss Diana, we'll talk tomorrow. I have to go upstairs and take care of Abigail. Good night!" He watched her leave without as much as giving him another glance. Good riddance! his mind congratulated him while his thoughts objected her cruelty most violently. ____________________________________________________________________________ ___________________ After applying the treatments to their daughter both fell into bed being completely exhausted. Elizabeth hummed one of Abby's favourite tunes to her daughter. "I've always loved your humming..." Darcy sighed. "It's so peaceful and gentle..." "Thank you, William. But I want you to do me a favour, please?" "You know I can't refuse you!" He smiled. "Will you tell me what is on your mind?" His body stiffened at her touch. "What are you talking about?" "You're so different... You haven't been that distant ever since...Hunsford..." "Do you have to bring this up now?" his voice rose in anger. "I'm concerned about you!" "There is nothing to worry about! Now let it be!" He moved away from her curtly. But unlike the last time she came after him and leaned her hot face against his shoulder. "No, don't go back to that place! We've been through too much for you to turn your back on me! Tell me what's hurting you!" Her voice was veiled with tears. "What are you talking about?" he responded icily. "Before we finally understood each other you were so aloof, so distant and so buried in your past. Don't go back there! I'm here no to ease the pain if something is troubling you! Don't you trust me anymore?" A heavy silence was between them, he was avoiding her eyes. Finally she rolled back to her side of the bed. "I hardly know you anymore..." Her words broke through the icy walls surrounding his inner thoughts. I share this sentiment, my love. I hardly recognize myself anymore...